Bravo Breanne.


This site rocks.

We've known it for some time, indeed well before my time, but in recent months it's really showing.

Well done all. Proud to be part of it.

SWEET!!!!

Congrats!!!!

Congrats, Breanne! Liked this one. Figured you'd have a good shot with it.

AWESOME BREANNE!

Mark

Breanne,

Job well done!  But no one here is really surprised with the results, you're one of the best writers around.  Hopefully you can get some traction with "Warning Shot."

My best wishes,

Ghostie

Thanks, everyone!

*Special thanks to you, James. I made changes based on your notes.

Congrats! It's nice when all the hard work pays off! Best of luck with some 'wants'.

Congrats, Breanne!

I've already made my views on Scriptshadow clear, but that doesn't stop it being a huge achievement when Carson doles out a good review. So kudos!

I read the script. Some great moments. Part of me wonders if it wouldn't work better as a stageplay given the dialogue heavy scenes (particularly in the second act) and constrained minimal locations. But I mean that as a compliment. The dialogue is good enough that it doesn't need bells and whistles, fancy camera shots etc etc. I'd be happy enough to see this performed on stage and let the dialogue speak for itself.

There's a few issues here however. The odd clunky line and questionable logic in the first act, but once we hit the farmhouse, you hit the sweetspot. I would hazard a guess that around pages 40-60 (from where David enters) were your fastest, most flowing pages to write. It reads effortlessly. In fact, my only real issues were in that opening act. And a few others dotted here and there. I'm not buying Audrey's reaction when she first sees Rainy. I'm not buying the woman in the car asking Rainy anything having just had her life threatened. I wasn't overly happy that once David dies, he's sort of cast aside etc etc.

But overall, it's a well crafted story. Being deadly honest, in the current climate, it's a tough sell for a wide theatrical run, but as a limited run, tense thriller this could be really good. I'd be surprised not to see this produced in some form or another. Whether that be on screen or stageplay.

I enjoyed the read. Liked the characters (despite struggling on some of Cheyenne's more adult-like lines). Really nice piece of work!

Thanks Dena and DC.

DC, thanks for reading and commenting. I'm overwhelmed with all the feedback I've received. I've made it a point to consider every suggestion.

I agree it could work as a stageplay, but I personally prefer a movie. I could go for both, though.

It was definitely written for actors. My view is if you don't have a big budget, go for big performances (read that: great roles for actors). I've got some prodcos circling already. Hopefully, something will work out.

Thanks again!

Seeing as quite a few members have had their scripts reviews on scriptshadow and most of them positive. Besides Ledbetter, have others gotten any attention due to their reviews on that site?

I got one request due to Stream's nomination.  Didn't go anywhere, however.

Quoted from wonkavite I got one request due to Stream's nomination.  Didn't go anywhere, however.

Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see?

I actually read a bit of it a while back (Stream of Consciousness). It was very nicely written. I remember reading the opening, then the ending. Remember thinking that it was very compactly written. Good job.

Quoted from Demento Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see?

The script I have uploaded here is fine but the one my producer is sending out for funding is a bit different.

It's been gone over multiple times by us during Skype sessions making small tweaks and changes as well as making it as close to flawless as humanly possible.

We literally went through it word by word, line by line.

By the time we were done, I could almost read it in my sleep.

Shawn.....><

Not recommend for a restful night's sleep.

Good to hear it's moving along.

R

Quoted from Demento Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see? I actually read a bit of it a while back (Stream of Consciousness). It was very nicely written. I remember reading the opening, then the ending. Remember thinking that it was very compactly written. Good job.

Yeah.  Now that you mention it, that's a little strange.  But it was a mainstream actual producer, so they probably just wanted to make sure they went through the whole "sign a disclaimer" route.  

Thanks re: Stream.  Got a few oars in the water right now with the short, BTW.  (Through Inktips.) So far, a very, very nice opportunity.  And it might result in the feature getting traction, too....