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I don't believe I was looking for the like button. Geesh
Congrats, Kevin.
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Thanks, guys, the support means a lot. I'm sure I'm in for a rough ride Saturday with his readers comments. That's ok, I survived the Dreamscale bootcamp a couple years ago, I can take it!
You never know, someone might like it. Worth a shot. I'm glad Carson gave it a chance.
This script is posted here under Capone and the Great Zombie Massacre. Most of you have read it and given helpful suggestions. Thanks for the much needed and appreciated notes. Jeff, Gary and Janet read it way back before it was posted, special thanks to them.
I remember reading this. Good luck. Will be waiting to see it on ScriptShadow.
Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages. https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Thanks, peeps. Appreciate the support by everyone. I had a few drafts of an email ready for AF, and when I thought Carson was in the mood for sci-fi, I submitted it. But because I'm a complete moron, it was the wrong draft of the email, and in turn, an earlier draft of a script. It's not too bad though, tiny differences excluding the ending. Was just looking for a few comments to improve the script, I don't expect it to be picked, but who knows?
Thanks, peeps. Appreciate the support by everyone. I had a few drafts of an email ready for AF, and when I thought Carson was in the mood for sci-fi, I submitted it. But because I'm a complete moron, it was the wrong draft of the email, and in turn, an earlier draft of a script. It's not too bad though, tiny differences excluding the ending. Was just looking for a few comments to improve the script, I don't expect it to be picked, but who knows?
Hey now, Mo!
Don't get down on yourself. Your script has just as many thumbs up as those comedies do! It's great to see more Simply Scripts peeps showing up there. I wonder who will be next...
Regards, E.D.
LATEST NEWS CineVita Films is producing a short based on my new feature!
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the support. Memories was originally a script in the vein of City of God, where a lone man stuck in space encounters the phone calls of two writers, which details their romance from when they were children to when they grow old. Although later, I felt as if I blended the two concepts, the story wouldn't work. So I decided to write them separately, the space story became Memories of a Distant Utopia, while the writer story became Memories of a Forgotten Love. Both which are very different in execution, but share a similar theme of identity. I might wrap it with one last Memories script in the trilogy, but have lost my mojo for the past few months. Anyway, thanks again, all!
Good stuff, Mo! I wondered if this was a reworking of your Forgotten Love script that I read a little while back, due to the 'Memories' part of the name.
Does Carson send you an email before he announces the script he decides to read, or do you hear the same time as the general public whether he is reading your work?
Thanks, guys, the support means a lot. I'm sure I'm in for a rough ride Saturday with his readers comments. That's ok, I survived the Dreamscale bootcamp a couple years ago, I can take it!
You never know, someone might like it. Worth a shot. I'm glad Carson gave it a chance.
This script is posted here under Capone and the Great Zombie Massacre. Most of you have read it and given helpful suggestions. Thanks for the much needed and appreciated notes. Jeff, Gary and Janet read it way back before it was posted, special thanks to them.
I feel bad that I've just now joined Script Shadows. I had no idea how the whole thing worked up until this week. I wish I was there to vote the other SS'ers scripts.
I really don't know who's who over there, only that I'm getting strong review from both sides. Love it or hate it!
I have no idea what it is either and haven't spent any time there. You have to join? Should I be joining?
You should join. It's a pretty cool site.
Joining takes like 10 seconds.
However, don't join just to pump my script.
From what I understand, Carson looks at those for what they are and doesn't really count them as a true vote.
Kinda like the guy here with 3 posts to his name and a script up when all the sudden another guy with 2 posts chimes in to speak of the scripts brilliance.
Guests and new members that only review one candidate are not given much weight. Also hyperbolic comments tend to get thrown in the trash.
Just be yourself, Jeff. It's obvious when you post that you've read the script. You'll fit in nicely with the resident grouch: Grendl, Eater of Scripts. Maybe that is you already!
Carson's an industry entity looking for some lightning in a bottle. And aspiring amateur writers and producers hungry for content populate his blog.
I'd like to see more Simply Scripts folks over there!
Regards, Brett
LATEST NEWS CineVita Films is producing a short based on my new feature!
Guests and new members that only review one candidate are not given much weight. Also hyperbolic comments tend to get thrown in the trash.
Just be yourself, Jeff. It's obvious when you post that you've read the script. You'll fit in nicely with the resident grouch: Grendl, Eater of Scripts. Maybe that is you already!
Carson's an industry entity looking for some lightning in a bottle. And aspiring amateur writers and producers hungry for content populate his blog.
I'd like to see more Simply Scripts folks over there!
Regards, Brett
Thanks Brett,
That's what I figured regarding the votes. The real ones (good or bad) hold weight.
It is quite a ride for sure.
And I agree, more SS'ers ought to check it out. That way when a SS'er is on over there, we can support them more.
Yeah, good luck to Phil (and Janet!) and Shawn! Happy to say I voted for both The Devil's Jokebook and What Doesn't Kill You! Glad they weren't competing against each other!
To join - Go to the Scriptshadow home page. At the top of the page there are several sub-headings: "Home," "Advice," "Concept Artists" etc. The last heading is "Contact". Click on this and you will be able subscribe to the Scriptshadow newsletter and thus become a member.
To see the reviews of Shawn's script - Scroll down the home page and you will see "Archives" on the far right. Click on 2013 then "October". Scroll down to the first "Amateur Offerings Weekend" you come across and you will see Shawn's script along with the other entries for that week!
Hope that helps and I didn't make it sound more complicated than it is?!
Which is a huge shame, because Devils has a lot to offer; a very colorful cast, sophisticated characters, a who dunnit mystery, and major action sequences (actual Hell breaking loose on Earth). And so much of it doesn't seem like it was read!
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
That definitely does suck that Carson completely appears to have misinterpreted the ending, with all evidence pointing towards a skim read. I mean, it is great that he's giving amateur writers the opportunity to be read, but what is the point if it's going to be a half-assed job, as that's likely to do more damage than good for the writer.
But keep your heads up guys; despite TDJ not being my cup of tea, I enjoyed the read, and believe you will have success with the script.
Shawn - nope, newsletter doesn't appear to have gone out yet. It's not uncommon for it to be posted sometime during the weekend.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
First off, congrats to Phil for getting a review. I think it's unfortunate that Carson apparently misunderstood the ending. (Even if he was right, I disagree with him about "all a dream" stories.)
Conceptually, The Devil's Jokebook just isn't going to be for everyone. In that regard, "wasn't for me" is an expected result. I don't think anyone interested in the subject matter is going to be dissuaded.
There were some really positive comments about Phil's writing. Hopefully this will lead to more opportunities.
I was a little afraid this would happen based on what little I know about ScriptShadow.
The review was mostly positve but I kept waiting for 'the other shoe to drop' reading through it, and sure enough it came. But it didn't make sense to me. I don't remember that much lab stuff and I know Phil's made revisions but I don't think he would have added as much as was described in there.
To me, it sounded like the reviewer liked the script but was just looking for reasons a give it a pass and that sucks!
Anyway, I hope the take-away can be all the praise in for Phil's writing and the characters he created in it.
That such a fun script to read...and I'll be honest - it sort of fits the "not for me" category personally but 15 pages it sort of picked up steam and took me on a great ride. I'm glad I gave it a shot and kept going. I'm anxious for more from the characters and I want to see this thing someday.
Very surprised WDKY didn't make it, seemed like a lot of discussion happening around the script. Even more surprising that the script with the annoying watermark got the review. Hmm...
In slightly less depressing news, Breanne and Janet's script seems to have made the cut for next week. Good luck!
Very surprised WDKY didn't make it, seemed like a lot of discussion happening around the script. Even more surprising that the script with the annoying watermark got the review. Hmm...
In slightly less depressing news, Breanne and Janet's script seems to have made the cut for next week. Good luck!
How do you know that? From their newsletter, maybe? I don't see the announcement on the site.
Too bad. I thought WDKY came closer than any other - too many voted for it.
Carson's been known to come back to a couple of the nominated scripts further down the line though, especially if more than one has received good feedback, so I'm hoping this is what will occur. Cross your fingers.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Got the newsletter this morning and I scrolled down to Friday and wasn't too happy either. Really thought Shawn's script was getting some pretty good love. Comments by Scriptshadow 'regulars' and stuff. Damn. But he does often use a second favorite a week later...so not giving up on it yet.
Genuinely shocked that Shawn got overlooked this week. I couldn't get past page eight of Gravity Kills. *IF* GK turns out to be a stinker, don't be surprised if he gives Shawn a try. It's happened before. And Shawn deserves it. Sorry, pal. Honestly thought you had more votes than TDJ did.
I looked at this week's AOW and saw that thriller and said to myself... This is a script BREANNE would write! Great to see you and Janet keeping the Simply Script streak alive! Give 'em both barrels, ladies!
Regards, Brett
LATEST NEWS CineVita Films is producing a short based on my new feature!
I read Carsons review of TDJ - unless the draft submitted has changed dramatically from the time I read it, it was like he was reviewing a completely different script to the one I read . . .
Thanks. I completely 100% agree with you. While I know that Scriptshadow can be arbitrary at times, that's *just not* a fair review on the Devil's Jokebook. And no - the script hadn't changed from what you've read...Phil has the simplyscripts version linked to DropBox, so it updates all the time. And the tweaks were very nice polishings on the script...but nothing structurally different. Frustrating.
What does that even mean "pensive hard SF script"? Clueless over here LOL
Anyway BEST of LUCK to both Janet and Breanne! You girls rock the house!
Hey Dena,
Thanks! Which one's Breanne's? I'll root for it too. (Along with Stream...)
Hmmm... translation of pensive hard SF script. Well, classic Science Fiction (short stories, novels, etc) tend to focus on actual science, and a serious look at "what if?" (For instance, Asimov's I Robot Series, which discussed such things as what would be the rules of robotics, how would they play out, and at what point would a robot deserve rights?) In addition, classic SF usually uses that to touch on underlying human issues (racism, social issues, death and dying, etc.)
Stream is very strongly in that vein, and *WOULD NOT* appeal to people who like giant rampaging robots, star battles, etc (even though I've written stuff like that before.) It's a very introspective piece that looks at "what if the soul survives the death of the body" on the hard science side - and addresses themes of ageism, isolation and the grieving process on the human one. Very people/character oriented. So I imagine that alot of people might find that too... sedate for them. Which isn't to denigrate Stream at all; just to say that it's pitched for a very specific audience. As much a drama as it is SF...
Shawn really disappointed for you right now. You're gonna hate me for what I'm about to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Because I like you and want you to succeed!
Citizen M is a well respected commentator over on Scriptshadow. His initial comments about WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU - until he scratched them out that is, were:
"If the standard of the first 25 pages is maintained, it will be a top 25 script for sure."
Coming from him, that's huge! As you're new to Scriptshadow, I don't think you realize just how huge! The guy has an excellent eye for spotting talent! Check out his review of WHERE ANGELS DIE from the 8th June 2013 Amateur Offerings Weekend to see what I mean. His comment: "Probably the best amateur script I've ever read on the site" helped get the script chosen for Amateur Friday.
Needless to say, Carson raved about it. The script got huge traction and landed the writer a top manager, Brooklyn Weaver from Energy Entertainment no less!
For Citizen M to say WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU "will be a top 25 script for sure" means that the script has something special! So why did he change his mind? Bearing in mind that he did this without reading the rest of the script -
Because unfortunately what you yourself describe as the genre bender aspect of the script kills it imo.
I alluded to this when I gave you notes on the script back in August. I think I said something like: "From the midpoint it's like watching a different movie."
I didn't say it at the time, but it feels like watching Se7en until halfway through, then watching it morph into something like Poltergeist instead. Obviously, I'm exaggerating a little, but you get my point.
One commentator over on Scriptshadow defended the sudden genre shift and mentioned Save The Cat. Trust me, it has nothing to do with Save The Cat. It's all to do with reader/audience expectations - you subvert them at your peril.
As you know, many commentators over on Scriptshadow agreed with the jarring nature of the genre shift and WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU lost quite a few votes as a result.
It's your script and it's entirely up to you how you proceed with it. However, If you can kill your darlings and lose the entire supernatural aspect or at the very least, set it up much earlier in the story, then greatness could be just around the corner!
Sorry if all this sounds harsh - Just trying to be really honest with you.
Glad you took my comments as intended! Sometimes bending genres can work. Sometimes not. Cowboys and Aliens springs to mind as one that failed pretty miserably.
I think it failed in WDKY because you created this really dark, gritty, dare I say, realistic world early on and so it was especially jarring when the supernatural aspects appeared.
Like I said, if you can keep that dark tone throughout and lose the supernatural part, then I honestly think you'll have something special on your hands!
I want to thank everyone for wishing me luck and I'd also like to wish Janet good luck. I think enough people like sci-fi in the vein of Stream to give it a real shot.
I look forward to the coming weeks and reading people's thoughts on my work. There is one thing that makes me both happy and sad, though. I'm glad two SS people are in the running, but I'm sad one (or both) of us must lose. But I do hope one of us wins!
As a new member over there, I'm kinda hesitent to go for a read / review of both of your scripts.
It's one thing to offer some thoughts here and try and help improve your work, but it's another thing to have to chose between you two regarding the quality of your work.
Breanne's is Warning Shot. Mine's Stream of Consciousness.
For everyone who has read either Breanne's or mine - please, do lend your reviews and honest opinions on both (whatever they are!) Though...remember...hell hath no fury like a female writer scorned!
As a new member over there, I'm kinda hesitent to go for a read / review of both of your scripts.
It's one thing to offer some thoughts here and try and help improve your work, but it's another thing to have to chose between you two regarding the quality of your work.
I need to chew on this for a day or two.
Shawn.....><
I appreciate your concern, but please don't worry about that. I'm thankful for all comments, positive or negative. Please vote for the script you think is best, even if it's not mine.
Breanne -- Warning Shot... sounds good by the info I read... I'll try to get to it.
I won't be posting reviews over on SS as I'm not a member, nor do I care to register over there, and that's nothing against you. Devil in D Minor was great and if you really did get better as a writer like you said in your thread, Warning Shot should be super badass.
Shawn-- thinking extra carefully about it, I think rolo is right. Either bring your twist in early or leave it out all together. I can understand people getting disappointed with what you tried to do. Give it to us upfront or not at all (Sort of reminds me... I remember when I went to the movies and saw Jeepers Creepers. All the stalling and the suspense and the final reveal: he's a demon monster. Big disappointment, followed by several unanimous groans from moviegoers.) I, personally, didn't have a problem with it. My major problem was that I found myself "rooting" for a child molesting fuck... "kinda." I almost had to take a shower after reading your script, solely for that reason.
Regarding the one script "Play with Me" that I see posted on that list. That's a bold statement by the writer: "nerdy, smart, and funny in a way The Big Bang Theory will never be." That alone makes me want to read it over all the others. Big Bang Theory is one of the best shows on TV, brilliantly written, IMO.
I'm not that familiar with the process, but does he go by actual votes? I got the impression the votes were really just recommendations.
Carson tends to go with the recommendations. Cuz his readers are more likely to contribute comments on a script they like. If he discards all the analysis and just picks one, his readership tends to dwindle.
LATEST NEWS CineVita Films is producing a short based on my new feature!
Carson tends to go with the recommendations. Cuz his readers are more likely to contribute comments on a script they like. If he discards all the analysis and just picks one, his readership tends to dwindle.
I figured that, but I also thought I read somewhere that he didn't count votes because a writer's friends could just vote them in. I figured known members' votes would count and lesser knowns might have their votes kicked.
I agree with Breanne. It can't be a tabulation of votes. The process can be manipulated. So the votes of regular contributors should weigh more. That said, Shawn had a lot of regulars who have never heard of him like his work.
First off - Shawn...rooting for you and What Doesn't Kill You. See? The kid DOES stay in the picture....
Everyone else: last call to get over to Scriptshadow and boost Breanne (Warning Shot) and myself (Stream of Consciousness) on AF! Not gonna sway anyone as to ultimate pick...
(Whispers in the background: Stream, Stream, Stream...) Just kidding. Just - everyone should make their honest opinion heard, either way.
Not to be an ass or anything - but I kinda hope it doesn't get reviewed, at least not at the moment (though I'm sure it will).
Sure, the writing is great, but the massive genre shift midway through is hugely problematic imo.
Thus, unfortunately, in it's current state, I genuinely believe WDKY is destined for a: [x] wasn't for me. Hence, the reason why I haven't been pushing more for it to be reviewed on Scriptshadow.
I know you guys will argue that the exposure Shawn will receive, coupled with the great notes he'll undoubtedly get, will make it worth it.
But why settle for a: [x] wasn't for me -? When with another rewrite or two, WDKY could easily get a: [x] worth the read or better still an: [x] impressive! If that were to happen, he'd get some strong traction behind WDKY and who knows where it could all lead?
You only get one chance to make a good first impression. So the chances of WDKY getting a second chance (if it does indeed get reviewed) on Scriptshadow would be pretty remote imo.
Shawn - I wish you the very best of luck should WDKY get reviewed. And I really hope I'm wrong about all this!!
I was thinking along those same lines last night as I began the re-write on WDKY.
I should have it done in a couple weeks.
I wonder if Carson would entertain the notion of simply allowing me to re-enter it in a couple of weeks to the weekend offering.
That way, Gravity Kills still gets his review without me stealing any thunder and I get another crack at the Weekend Offering.
I’ve got a GREAT angle going on in the re-write where I’ll be able to keep the supernatural element and bring Clive into it by connecting him and Derek in afterlife experiences regarding the same killings.
There's luck involved. My script happened to go up against a script that got a rare worth the read. Mine was kind of the runner up in terms of reader's choice. Luck of the draw. And I made sure there was no deck stacking.
It got some reads and notes...I move on. It's cool that the blog gives us a possible side door into exposure. No complaints on my end.
@ KevinL - I really wanted to read Noir of the Dead and get behind it. Problem was/is I'm rewriting my own zombie script and didn't want any of your work/writing seeping in via my subconscious and ending up in my own script! Sorry, man.
@ Shawn - If you haven't done so already? The best way to contact Carson is carsonreeves1 at gmail dot com Great to hear you're tackling a rewrite of WDKY! Not so sure about the supernatural aspect though?! Not sure how fast you write - Just wonder if you could do two versions? One with. One without. See which one works best?
@ Shawn - If you haven't done so already? The best way to contact Carson is carsonreeves1 at gmail dot com Great to hear you're tackling a rewrite of WDKY! Not so sure about the supernatural aspect though?! Not sure how fast you write - Just wonder if you could do two versions? One with. One without. See which one works best?
I sent him an email as well as post on the thread.
I see Brett made comment as well. Thanks Brett! Rolo,
I think you will like the direction I'll be going with it.
I'll be tieing Clive and Derek together with the same murder scene.
There's luck involved. My script happened to go up against a script that got a rare worth the read. Mine was kind of the runner up in terms of reader's choice. Luck of the draw. And I made sure there was no deck stacking.
It got some reads and notes...I move on. It's cool that the blog gives us a possible side door into exposure. No complaints on my end.
And, Kevin, I was a bit late on jumping on the band wagon and announcing it more predominately .
No, that's ok, Don, I didn't really want to stack the deck. I asked people not to. And the script that was ultimately selected resonated more with readers, so it was fair. I'm cool with how it went down.
I'll start off on a positive note. It's not easy getting your script on AF so congrats to all that did, whether at voting stage or actual SS review. It's a nice piece of validation and confirmation that your work vibes with people. Kudos.
But you guys are putting WAY too much credence into reviews and opinions from a man who less than a decade ago was nothing more than a tennis coach.
Not that there's anything wrong with tennis coaching. I just wouldn't ask them to read and review my latest screenplay.
So here's the truth from under the cover-
Carson Reeves or Scriptshadow might be well-connected now, but he's not well liked. In fact, his name attached to projects (particularly as producer) has already ruined deals for writers. Yes, there are some producers who tolerate what he does as a necessary evil for farming new talent and voices, but that's where it begins and ends.
He didn't have much to do with the juggernaut that was Tyler's Disciple script. The screenplay was finding its way into inboxes way before he came along. But that didn't stop him publicizing his involvement on his website like he'd single-handedly uncovered this hidden talent all by himself.
That's not factoring in the working writer's jobs he's ruined and in-production projects derailed by his reviewing early draft scripts and presenting his opinion like this was the blueprint for how the movie will turn out. Rather than admitting these were early drafts never meant to see the light of day. Something that meant people like Fox threatened to serve him a cease and desist order (something that strangely never got mentioned on the blog).
As to requests that he not review a draft where the twist is going through changes. Good luck. Let's hope he's changed his tune. A year back, a writer did the same thing. Asked that Carson not review an early draft and offered to send him the update. Carson ran the early draft review! Why? Because mediocre reviews don't drive contributors to his website. BAD ONES DO! The comment section is strewn with the writer defending his work. Explaining Carson's underhand actions.
That's before we even get into the SS acolytes that infest the comment section. To give you an idea of just how useful this whole thing is, at a guess I'd say 0.5% of those who comment on AF are working screenwriters. The rest are spewing Guru bilge they read in the latest HOW TO book. You have a much better community here.
So how do you know which 0.5% to trust? You don't. For all you know, the notes you receive could be the one thing that leads you to damage the draft you have.
It's a total crapshoot. Want to know why?
Working screenwriters rarely frequent Scriptshadow. Because what he does (though thankfully not so much since the warning) is potentially damage careers. And though he's changed his ways (been forced to at least), pros have not forgiven him. For years, he put people's livelihoods in jeopardy to advertise his website and peddle his wares.
Sound like an exaggeration? Just listen to what John August or Craig Mazin think of him. And this is the person you want reviewing your work?
Even after he proved he didn't 'get' TDJ? Even after it was all but proved he must have skim-read? And you're still submitting to him?
Why? Because he can get you read by CAA or WME? Here's a newsflash! YOU can get you read by those agencies. Download manager contact lists and query. Those Managers will get you into the top agencies to be read. There's nothing Carson has done that wouldn't have happened anyway based on the quality of the work.
So what do you gain from submitting to AF? If you're well received, a few interesting notes and ideas once you sift through the sewer bilge. If it's not well received? That review remains there FOREVER! Anytime a producer/Potential-rep might Google you, there it is. That moment in your fledgling career where a Tennis Coach said he didn't like your work. Apologies for capslock mode-
BUT YOU'RE SEEKING THE APPROVAL OF A MAN WHO GIVES NEGATIVE REVIEWS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GENRE!
And this is a man who wants to be a producer and yet finds it impossible to exercise objectivity. It's not about what he likes. It's about what sells!
Be smart. What you have here on Simply is so much better. You have peers who will review with no agenda. Who won't snark through a review because they failed to have theirs or their favorite amateur script selected. Seek advice from people on here. At least you know where it comes from.
Good luck to those still in the running. I hope this is that rare time where Carson's review is the catalyst for something positive. Otherwise, the only advice you should be seeking from Mr. Shadow is how to strengthen your backhand.
Interesting post, DC. Few weeks back, someone on here told me the same thing, just not in as much detail. I don't even entertain the idea of submitting a script to Carson, anymore.
Interesting post, DC. Few weeks back, someone on here told me the same thing, just not in as much detail. I don't even entertain the idea of submitting a script to Carson, anymore.
No-one should. It's just a very bad idea. Enter the Nicholl Contest. Or Page International. Seek a good coverage service. Ask the opinion of peers.
But Scriptshadow is the very definition of a poisoned chalice. For all the reasons listed above.
I was gonna let this slide. I mean, this is Simply Scripts not Scriptshadow! But I can't... I just can't!!
"you guys are putting WAY too much credence into reviews and opinions from a man who less than a decade ago was nothing more than a tennis coach."
Promise not to tell anyone, but I'm an ex-school kid! Naturally, this means I can't know the first thing about screenwriting - Despite having spent countless hours studying the craft!
"Carson Reeves or Scriptshadow might be well-connected now, but he's not well liked. In fact, his name attached to projects (particularly as producer) has already ruined deals for writers. Yes, there are some producers who tolerate what he does as a necessary evil for farming new talent and voices."
Wait! A former tennis coach is being recognized by some producers for farming new talent and voices?! Hmmm.... Maybe I can reveal my dark secret about being an ex-school kid after all?!
"He didn't have much to do with the juggernaut that was Tyler's Disciple script. The screenplay was finding its way into inboxes way before he came along. But that didn't stop him publicizing his involvement on his website like he'd single-handedly uncovered this hidden talent all by himself."
The script was a finalist in a competition. The writer sent the script to Carson for notes. Carson read it - flipped over it. Said: "The Disciple Program was the best non-professional script I had ever read, period." Promoted the crap out of it on Scriptshadow. The script subsequently sold to Universal Studios with Mark Wahlberg attached!!
Presumably the other finalists scripts found their way into inboxes too? How many of them have since sold or been optioned?
Fortunately, folks don't have to take my word for how much Carson was involved in bringing The Disciple Program to the industry's attention! Here's what the competition's organizers had to say about it:
"Carson's buzz and press around his anticipated posted review of The Disciple Program on his blog caused a frenzy in the Industry as people clamored to be the first to get their hands on the script. The result? Tyler signed with William Morris Endeavor before he even flew to Los Angeles for his lunch with Robert Mark Kamen and meeting with Benderspink."
" A year back, a writer did the same thing. Asked that Carson not review an early draft and offered to send him the update. Carson ran the early draft review!
There were two writer's on the project. One wanted the review. The other didn't. Carson ran the early draft review because he's already read that draft and thus already written the review! Fact is, he shouldn't have posted the review and paid the price with the huge fallout from it - He lost a lot of followers that day. He learned his lesson and stopped sending out scripts to his members as a result.
" I'd say 0.5% of those who comment on AF are working screenwriters. The rest are spewing Guru bilge they read in the latest HOW TO book."
Isn't that more or less the same on any screenwriting website/forum? Or are you saying that Done Deal, where most of you Carson haters come from, has a significantly higher percentage of working screenwriters?!
Someone needs to tell Dan Fogelman! Dude, gave an interview on Scriptshadow last week!
" And though he's changed his ways (been forced to at least), pros have not forgiven him. For years, he put people's livelihoods in jeopardy to advertise his website and peddle his wares.
Which pros are these? The 0.01% who take the moral high ground? Or the 99.99% who rewrite the shit out of another writer's script for a paycheck, whilst still taking the moral high ground?!
"Even after he proved he didn't 'get' TDJ? Even after it was all but proved he must have skim-read? And you're still submitting to him?"
His review of TDJ was sloppy. Definitely didn't bring his A game. But that's not to say TDJ wouldn't benefit from another rewrite to get it into tip-top shape imo.
"Why? Because he can get you read by CAA or WME? Here's a newsflash! YOU can get you read by those agencies. Download manager contact lists and query. Those Managers will get you into the top agencies to be read. There's nothing Carson has done that wouldn't have happened anyway based on the quality of the work."
You mean to say those Managers are just sitting around waiting for my script to drop onto their laps?! Dammit! I thought they were so busy hustling for their existing clients, that they wouldn't have time to read a script from an unknown ex-school kid like myself!! All this time I thought you needed a referral or at least to have placed well in a top competition to get a good Manager's attention! Thanks for the heads up!
"So what do you gain from submitting to AF? If you're well received, a few interesting notes and ideas once you sift through the sewer bilge."
Yeah - Just like the writers of Reunion, The Disciple Program, Where Angels Die, Rose in the Darkness, etc. etc. All of whom gained representation and/or had their script sold or optioned!!
Obviously with a name like DeepCoverage, I'm pretty confident that you're not one of those people who charges writer's good money for notes?! A failed screenwriter without a single writing credit, who takes folks hard earned cash off them in order to supposedly help them do something they're unable to do themselves? Namely, sell a script?
Because if you were, I'd be worried that your attack on Carson and Scriptshadow, might be fueled more by petty bitterness and professional jealousy than any genuine desire to help the good folks on here?!
Either way, I've said all I've got to say. Not going to go back and forth on this with you or trade barbs. This is Simply Scripts not Scriptshadow! Besides, I'm late for my tennis lesson!! Carson's promised to help me strengthen my backhand!!
Nope. I don't charge people for coverage notes or reads. Not a huge fan of that side of the business. But coverage notes don't just apply to paid script reader services. Coverage notes are given by readers at prodcos. Or CAA. WME. UTA etc etc.
Or on an amateur level. Any time someone gives you notes on your script, they've provided coverage. Just not on a professional level.
And I'm not ex-school. I'm ex-University Grad.... but not in screenwriting. Or writing for that matter. I would take your point here that we can learn to be something we're not over time, were it not for the fact that I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. Neither are you. Carson is. He's pimping himself as this Hollywood insider when truth is many industry professionals would prefer he remain outside. He's a Tennis Coach that has a snake-oil salesman knack for making everyone believe he knows more than he does.
As to Disciple, it was indeed in a contest where the writer was mentored by a screenwriter with WAY more influence in the business than Carson could ever hope for.... But Carson was the reason the script got heat?
Everything else you said about Carson, well, pretty much backs up what I said doesn't it? The writer asked him not to post that draft. He posted it. Whether or not he got flack for what he did, he still did it. And it was a calculated move on his part.
As to the issue of percentage of Screenwriters on Shadow, yes, I'd happily state that DD has a higher ratio of working screenwriters. MUCH higher. Nice snipe at working screenwriters by the way simply because they're employed to fix scripts by other writers. I'm not sure that has anything to do with Moral High Grounds. It's part of the business.
As to managers....YES!!! They are waiting for your script to drop into their laps! YES! Of course they are. They read queries. If they like what they read, they request the script. If they like your style or voice, they sign you! Inktip type sites have changed that business model somewhat, but ultimate YES! Managers are waiting for YOU! And no, you don't need to have won a contest. You don't need anything, but the script, a query letter and mangers contact details. It's not like Agents. Managers accept unsolicited material. Hit them with a powerful logline. Forget contest wins!
But I'm not into trading barbs either and I don't think anything in this reply could be considered such. Just an exchange of differing viewpoints. As to professional jealousy, that made me smile. I'm doing just fine thanks
"But that's not to say TDJ wouldn't benefit from another rewrite to get it into tip-top shape imo"
Regarding the rest of this discussion, I'm-a gonna stay out of it...
But as someone who has read TDJ in depth, I would firmly argue that the script doesn't need a rewrite. A tweak on the opening scene to clarify, sure. But the rest?
It *definitely* should have earned at least a "worth the read" from Scriptshadow. That's not me being biased. I do - and continue - to judge Phil's work by the highest possible standard. This one IS worthy.
"But as someone who has read TDJ in depth, I would firmly argue that the script doesn't need a rewrite. A tweak on the opening scene to clarify, sure. But the rest?
Sorry, I was a little fired up when I wrote the earlier post. TDJ could perhaps do with a slight tweak. Certainly doesn't need a rewrite!
When Carson checked the "wasn't for me" box, I think he was referring to himself and not the public. There are going to be people who like something or don't like it. You just have to find that person who likes it...or convince them to like it. That's what Carson does essentially. He convinces you or tries to convince you to like something as he does. Carson is not the only person with contacts.
Gabe
Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages. https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
True, I'm sure Carson's tastes enter into his reviews - a lot. How could they not?
But I'd argue that's not what the ScriptShadow "wasn't for me" rating really implies.
Ideally, "worth a read" means just that... IE: that a script has qualities that make it entertaining, worthy (at least in some aspects) of cinematic production, and also worthy of reading by the general script writing populace as an example of "how a script SHOULD be written". (Again, at least in some aspects. Not that it's perfection personified. That would be reserved for the Genius Rating)
Therefore - in comparison - "not for me" kind of implies that it's none of those things. Which isn't really fair for scripts that do measure up to the criteria listed above, but happen to not be Carson's cup of tea. For instance, maybe he would rather gag than watch Sofie's Choice. That doesn't make it a crappy script that's not worth the read. (BTW - I've never seen that particular movie. Just pulling it out of my...um...hat as an example.)
Um... Can everyone please disregard everything I say from now on!!! I obviously haven't got a clue!! Huge congrats, Shawn! Guess you won't be needing that rewrite after all?!!
Congrats on the positive review, Shawn. Hope it gets you the attention you deserve. I do wonder about Carson, though. He seriously had to Google whether or not it's a law that murderers can be revived after execution to be executed again? Haven't read the script, but kudos on a wild concept. Concept sells!
Nice work, brother! I'll have to try and check out what was said, but it sounds like you made the grade, which doesn't surprise me, as I "knew" this script should go places, the first time I read it, way back when.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I’m really pleased to see this script getting the credit it deserves which is down to your hard work. After reading an early draft and then to see the changes, I can see how much work you’ve put into this story in such a short period of time. You’ve done an amazing job!
Um... Can everyone please disregard everything I say from now on!!! I obviously haven't got a clue!! Huge congrats, Shawn! Guess you won't be needing that rewrite after all?!! Hope good things come from this for you!
Hey Rolo, I did take your advice in a way. I offered to Carson to step down and allow Gravity Kills to be reviewed at a chance to be in the AOW in a few weeks.
He felt I should get the review because I won fair and square. I asked if I could turn in an updated version and he agreed. So, long story short, I was up for 40 hours straight doing a rewrite in order to get it in by Wednesday night.
I took the advice given here and at Scriptshadow on several points in the rewrite.
I do wonder about Carson, though. He seriously had to Google whether or not it's a law that murderers can be revived after execution to be executed again? James
Thanks James!
Oddly enough, Carson isn’t near the only one who’s asked this question. Hell, 7 out of 10 people who reviewed my script have asked it.
And with that [xx] Worth the Read -- Carson guarantees he'll send the script out to his contacts. Congrats, Shawn! cuz then they'll check out -- MISSION STYLE!
Thanks Brett,
I guess [XX] is good then. Cool!
I’m in the middle of a re-write on Mission Style. Can’t wait to get er done.
Congrats, Shawn! Really exciting! I do feel bad for the guy who wrote Gravity Kills. Poor guy. It's got to suck to think you've been chosen, then learn there was a mix up. But I'm glad you got a review and did so well!
Now this is up to you but, I think the pedophile shouldn't change. That's what's so unique about it. The reader dislikes pedophile's but, you somehow made him caring (prob due to his innocence and his hand in trying to capture the real killer).
Gabe
Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages. https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
I was just discussing the execution thing with Ryan. IMO, all you need to do is set this in like 2017, and mention a new law pertaining to it along the way. It won't affect the story at all but will stop people focussing on that unique angle. Very simple
Yeah, well, what happens when the script isn't produced when 2017 rolls around?
I'm pretty sure Shawn did research and found that in some states that law does take place. Correct me if I'm wrong... it's been a while since I read What Doesn't Kill You.
I think my gripe with the script was if the person was resurrected the 2nd or 3rd time and was no longer the sick, depraved killer but a mentally handicapped vegetable (due to extreme amounts of oxygen loss to the brain), wouldn't the death penalty suddenly become null and void? I mean, I don't even recall anyone checking on Derek to make sure that wasn't the case. It's kind of messed up, killing someone who has no bearings of what the hell is going on...
Congrats Shawn! You have worked so hard on that script. You deserve it! Very awesome turn out! Keep us posted!! And if you guys are having a skype party tonight...I'll bring plum wine! ha Party on!
Congrats to Breanne...saw my newsletter this morning...sorry two of our girls had to go head to head in that thing. Janet, keep entering, because yours will get picked, too!
Hey, people, why are you so private about your skype parties? I've never been to one.
Join me on skype..and we usually have parties on Friday night not really parties but ya know....it's fun. My skype is dena.mckinnon if you want to join and next week perhaps we will all get together again! Great talking to friends/writers and we'd love to have you!
Wow! Excellent work, Shawn! Just read the review! Some of the details of this Carson guy are sketchy, but they say he can move the meter! I'm very happy for you. This was a great script, man. You deserve it! Big congrats!
In all honesty, I don't believe Stream was the right choice for a Carson review, anyway. Territory - I think - is far more his style. If only he'd actually take a look at it.
Breanne won the slot, and it's well deserved! Based on what I know of Carson (and his reader's) likes/dislikes, I think he'll take to Warning Shot quite well!
I'm about to get on Skype with a director who's from LA but is in India doing a shoot.
He's wanting to move on WDKY and has the creds to back it up.
All from yesterdays review.
You can't beat that kind of coverage bro-
Shawn.....><
Brilliant, brilliant news....but....look after yourself Shawn. If this gets serious, and it's sounds like you are already there, dont be afraid to call in real help (not us)
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Curiously, this very same PhilGary blogger was pimping his blog in the Scriptshadow blog just a few weeks ago, posting links to his blog. Even funnier, he had begun doing reviews of loglines submitted for amateur Friday until someone complained. So he was using Carson's blog to build his own. Talk about irony.
There are legit criticisms of Carson's blog. But there are also a lot of bitter and jealous people, and that generally comes through loud and clear with the people who attack the blog. This is especially so when you hear them complain that Carson has "placed himself on a pedestal as the definitive authority on screenwriting".
I don't think Carson has done that at all. He's one guy giving his opinion. I agree with his opinion sometimes, sometimes I don't.
As far as studios and writers being upset about scripts being reviewed before the project is done, I can understand that. But we have no control over any of that. Our visiting the blog will not affect those issues one way or another.
Curiously, this very same PhilGary blogger was pimping his blog in the Scriptshadow blog just a few weeks ago, posting links to his blog. Even funnier, he had begun doing reviews of loglines submitted for amateur Friday until someone complained. So he was using Carson's blog to build his own. Talk about irony.
There are legit criticisms of Carson's blog. But there are also a lot of bitter and jealous people, and that generally comes through loud and clear with the people who attack the blog. This is especially so when you hear them complain that Carson has "placed himself on a pedestal as the definitive authority on screenwriting".
I don't think Carson has done that at all. He's one guy giving his opinion. I agree with his opinion sometimes, sometimes I don't.
As far as studios and writers being upset about scripts being reviewed before the project is done, I can understand that. But we have no control over any of that. Our visiting the blog will not affect those issues one way or another.
Exactly! What a great point. And, so what if we pirate movies right? I mean we have no control over the rest of the people doing it or those who are pirating, so downloading ourselves won't affect those issues one way or another.
And so what if, just by seeding the torrent of the movie we help others to download it. Still, it's out of our control. So why not take advantage of it.
So what if Carson potentially damages careers and so what if this article in the link backs up everything I was saying about him. It's out of our control.
What's that? Leaked details from a review from Carson on a script about to go into pre-production made the prodco jittery and they shut the project down thus meaning that the excited green screenwriter only had his $1000 dollar option price to provide for his family and missed out on the five figure production payment outlined in the contract?
So what! I need to read about more of Carson's views on screenwriting. I don't know this hypothetical working screenwriter of whom you speak. I don't know his family.
The important thing here is we get to advance ourselves, right? Screw the working pros who are part of an industry you yourselves want to be part of. Screw the fact Carson is damaging the very lifeblood of something you want to be someday.
The overriding thing here is we can't control what happens and we think so little of our fellow struggling screenwriters who already get a tough enough deal in HW that why not screw them over by signing up to Scriptshadow and condoning his actions.
As long as we get to see our name up on the screen someday, right!?
DeepCover, whoever he is, is a very emotional guy.
Clicking on a blog is hardly comparable to pirating videos. Give me a break.
And if a project was derailed just because of a blog review, I'm VERY skeptical as to how promising that project's chances of success were to begin with. If you want to offer specific evidence that Carson's blog derailed scripts...scripts that would not otherwise have come off the tracks on their own...I'm all ears. Be specific.
It's more likely to me that the blog will help put writers to work by bringing work to positive light.
The Disciple Project won a prominent writing contest, and sat around for a while, if I remember, I think maybe a year(not sure). Then Carson reviewed it and it got optioned. That's how I recall it, and that's how the New York Times reported it.
And kind of hard to have it both ways. On the one hand, you say the blog has the power to kill studio projects...and on the other that it has no impact on getting a script exposure.
So spare us the exaggerated pleas about starving masses of "working" writers whose livelihoods were ruined by a blog. That kind of drama belongs in scripts.
Rather than waste my breath trying to defend Carson or indeed Scriptshadow, I thought I'd take a closer look at Phil Gary Arts.
Here's a few snippets from his site:
"ABOUT PHIL GARY: SENIOR CONSULTANT, PUBLISHED WRITER, ATTORNEY
Endowed with strong creative and commercial instincts, coupled with a fanatical commitment to mastering his various crafts, Phil Gary has been reviewing creative material in a professional capacity for no less than a decade.
He is widely recognized as an incisive script & production consultant, renowned for his exhaustive screenwriting knowledge, and unerring ability to identify often-undetected instances of plot illogic.
His most recent film script -- a thriller -- won first place in a script search conducted by a Los Angeles based production company, who offered to purchase the story. The script also received offers from a production company in Georgia, and another in Canada."
Firstly, if Senior Consultant, Mr Gary is indeed "endowed with strong creative and commercial instincts" why does he not appear to have a single screenwriting credit to his name? As regards his supposed "fanatical commitment to mastering his various crafts" obviously he seems to be a little less fanatical when it comes to mastering screenwriting as evidenced by his own lack of screenwriting credits!
Here's another little snippet taken from his website:
"His most recent film script -- a thriller -- won first place in a script search conducted by a Los Angeles based production company, who offered to purchase the story. The script also received offers from a production company in Georgia, and another in Canada."
What script search? Which Los Angeles based production company? Regardless of any "offers" the script is apparently unsold?!
As far as I can tell, Phil Gary is an unsold and unproduced screenwriter?
Yet, he takes folks hard earned cash to help them do something, he appears unable to do himself. Namely, sell a script and have it produced!
Finally, folks may want to google and/or IMDB the names behind the numerous testimonials Phil Gary has received "reviewing creative material in a professional capacity for no less than a decade." To see just how "widely recognized as an incisive script & production consultant," he really is!
DeepCover, whoever he is, is a very emotional guy.
Clicking on a blog is hardly comparable to pirating videos. Give me a break.
And if a project was derailed just because of a blog review, I'm VERY skeptical as to how promising that project's chances of success were to begin with. If you want to offer specific evidence that Carson's blog derailed scripts...scripts that would not otherwise have come off the tracks on their own...I'm all ears. Be specific.
It's more likely to me that the blog will help put writers to work by bringing work to positive light.
The Disciple Project won a prominent writing contest, and sat around for a while, if I remember, I think maybe a year(not sure). Then Carson reviewed it and it got optioned. That's how I recall it, and that's how the New York Times reported it.
And kind of hard to have it both ways. On the one hand, you say the blog has the power to kill studio projects...and on the other that it has no impact on getting a script exposure.
So spare us the exaggerated pleas about starving masses of "working" writers whose livelihoods were ruined by a blog. That kind of drama belongs in scripts.
Emotional when I watch Philadelphia? Yes. Otherwise, I'm actually one of the more passive, non-aggressive person you'll ever meet.
My post came entirely from calm state of reason.
And I'm not sure I exactly said Piracy was comparable to what Carson does. It was an analogy. I'm not sure why people continuously mix up analogy with comparison.
Your skepticism makes me wonder just how much you know about HW. EVERY project is a grain of rice away from tipping the scales. You're skeptical of how info leaked on the internet can scupper a project? How the tiniest details can make even the biggest studios jittery? There are just too many examples to mention.
But outside of Carson, lets go with Marvel's DEADPOOL project. NOTHING has more of a chance of production than Marvel stuff right now. And yet the whole project looked in danger...why? Because a grandmother leaked the script on her mediafire archive. Fox hit her with a multiple Million dollar lawsuit.
She doesn't have a blog. She doesn't have the reputation, followers or infamy that Carson and his Blog has. So Grandmother shares private collection of scripts on forum and gets hit with lawsuit. But no-one can ever be affected by Carson, his ego and his constant pimping?
As to your other comment, yes. it can go both ways. As with most of your argument though, you suggest it can't to justify your viewpoint. Carson can do no more for a writer than a good script placing in a reputable contest will do. And since you bring one of them up, let's go for Trackingb. Where every year almost every one of the top ten scripts find representation with big players. So the same year Carson made sure to publicize his huge involvement in Tyler's success, the Insider and Trackingb quietly sent out scripts and found representation for almost all their finalists.
So, no Carson can't do much more for you than the quality of the script would do anyway with high placing in a big contest. But Carson can still negatively affect projects in pre-production. And since you're a fan of comparisons, you'd realize that the two aren't mutually exclusive. Someone can have very little clout to get something into production, but still enough to have productions shut down.
In much the same way that Godzilla has little idea of town planning, but can destroy a whole city.....
From what I've seen, there are those here who, by virtue of their hysterical hijinks and vivid vituperation, appear to aver that script sabotage is, indeed, merely a part of the process. In my view, such behavior is born out of an intense dissatisfaction that is profoundly embedded within the perpetrator's autochthonous code. More, the standard purveyor previously pointed out is, normatively, at the height of magnanimity, an abysmally poor writer. And, on occasion, one or two will materialize from the shroud of fog blanketing the field wielding pitchforks and bearing tridents set unswervingly on a sycophantically quixotic mission to jab and parry in a protracted challenge of nefarious and abstruse provenance.
You're in the wrong industry. Text books are thatta way!
Rather than waste my breath trying to defend Carson or indeed Scriptshadow, I thought I'd take a closer look at Phil Gary Arts.
Here's a few snippets from his site:
"ABOUT PHIL GARY: SENIOR CONSULTANT, PUBLISHED WRITER, ATTORNEY
Endowed with strong creative and commercial instincts, coupled with a fanatical commitment to mastering his various crafts, Phil Gary has been reviewing creative material in a professional capacity for no less than a decade.
He is widely recognized as an incisive script & production consultant, renowned for his exhaustive screenwriting knowledge, and unerring ability to identify often-undetected instances of plot illogic.
His most recent film script -- a thriller -- won first place in a script search conducted by a Los Angeles based production company, who offered to purchase the story. The script also received offers from a production company in Georgia, and another in Canada."
Firstly, if Senior Consultant, Mr Gary is indeed "endowed with strong creative and commercial instincts" why does he not appear to have a single screenwriting credit to his name? As regards his supposed "fanatical commitment to mastering his various crafts" obviously he seems to be a little less fanatical when it comes to mastering screenwriting as evidenced by his own lack of screenwriting credits!
Here's another little snippet taken from his website:
"His most recent film script -- a thriller -- won first place in a script search conducted by a Los Angeles based production company, who offered to purchase the story. The script also received offers from a production company in Georgia, and another in Canada."
What script search? Which Los Angeles based production company? Regardless of any "offers" the script is apparently unsold?!
As far as I can tell, Phil Gary is an unsold and unproduced screenwriter?
Yet, he takes folks hard earned cash to help them do something, he appears unable to do himself. Namely, sell a script and have it produced!
Finally, folks may want to google and/or IMDB the names behind the numerous testimonials Phil Gary has received "reviewing creative material in a professional capacity for no less than a decade." To see just how "widely recognized as an incisive script & production consultant," he really is!
Enough said.
Which of course automatically makes everything he said.... wrong?
Got a NEWSFLASH for you. Everything he said is accurate and can be backed up by accounts of Carson's actions (who, by the way, also has no real credits and one failed screenwriting attempt to his name since you bring it up).
Frankly you paint yourself a little like DRINKER #2 of the kool aid when you attempt to discredit a viewpoint based on the reputation of the view giver.
Hell, what difference does it make if a MI5 spy drowns puppies, if the accurate military intel he has prevents a war?
Meaning, what difference does it make who he is if everything he says is fact?
Feels like those instances in history where someone is discredited from speaking out against something on the basis of a smear campaign they can do on his past.
Very unsavory. And does nothing to assuage the cult feeling that comes from Scriptshadow. Very........ strange.
deep, i was actually going to bat for you. i guess you're a bit too tempestuous to comprehend right now. it's okay, deep, writing's not for the faint of heart.
There's a smile next to my previous reply to you, Courhaw
You mentioned "so what" 5 times in your post, the last time in caps. Yeah, it was emotional.
And now you're adding arrogance to emotion in your discussion of comparison vs analogy. "Comparing" was a more effective verb than "analogizing".
a·nal·o·gy [uh-nal-uh-jee] 1. a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based: the analogy between the heart and a pump.
You compared one's visiting a blog to someone who shares pirated videos.
Tracking B is a contest, I'm not sure how relevant the comparison is. To win a contest, you first have to get through rounds of people that read piles of scripts for minimum wage. I'm not knocking trackingB, that's a great contest. But the economics of contests means you rely on low paid readers going through a pile as quick as they can.
As far as Carson, the issues should be treated separately: his reviewing submitted amateur scripts and his reviewing leaked scripts. In regards to the former, the evidence is strong that the blog does have the ability to create positive exposure for a script. You might be jealous of that fact, and I am sure you are, but it is what it is. There is also some risk that comes with a bad review, but writers have to decide on the risks they want to take.
As far as reviewing leaked scripts, obviously that's a problem. I don't think it does the harm you suggest, but Carson should take caution. Maybe he should not review scripts unless they are far enough into the production process that no harm can be done.
But yes, I'm not going to worry about it. Not because I want to take food off the table of working writers...but because nothing I say or do will have one bit of impact on that. I'm just visiting a blog once in a while, let's not make it more than it is.
You mentioned "so what" 5 times in your post, the last time in caps. Yeah, it was emotional.
And now you're adding arrogance to emotion in your discussion of comparison vs analogy. "Comparing" was a more effective verb than "analogizing".
a�nal�o�gy [uh-nal-uh-jee] 1. a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based: the analogy between the heart and a pump.
You compared one's visiting a blog to someone who shares pirated videos.
Tracking B is a contest, I'm not sure how relevant the comparison is. To win a contest, you first have to get through rounds of people that read piles of scripts for minimum wage. I'm not knocking trackingB, that's a great contest. But the economics of contests means you rely on low paid readers going through a pile as quick as they can.
As far as Carson, the issues should be treated separately: his reviewing submitted amateur scripts and his reviewing leaked scripts. In regards to the former, the evidence is strong that the blog does have the ability to create positive exposure for a script. You might be jealous of that fact, and I am sure you are, but it is what it is. There is also some risk that comes with a bad review, but writers have to decide on the risks they want to take.
As far as reviewing leaked scripts, obviously that's a problem. I don't think it does the harm you suggest, but Carson should take caution. Maybe he should not review scripts unless they are far enough into the production process that no harm can be done.
But yes, I'm not going to worry about it. Not because I want to take food off the table of working writers...but because nothing I say or do will have one bit of impact on that. I'm just visiting a blog once in a while, let's not make it more than it is.
Interesting selective BOLD emphasis. Let me try that-
a�nal�o�gy [uh-nal-uh-jee] 1. a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based: the analogy between the heart and a pump.
Catch my drift?
As to "So what?", it was used continuously on purpose. Surely you got that? It was a thematic throughline. Much like you see in articles, essays or poetry. Thought I'd made that pretty obvious. Maybe six times will do the trick.
And the old "Jealously" card comes out again. Let's just say, I'd much rather be where I am than where Carson is. I don't teach. I do.
But it brought a smile to my face.
As to everything else, I made my views felt. No, you're not taking food off of writers' tables, but by visiting or contributing on the website, you are semi-condoning the fact that Carson can and has. Some people I'm sure can live with that.
Then there are others who would rather not engage in anything connected adversely to the lifeblood of the very profession they want to be part of.
I know which of the two I'm rooting for to succeed.
(That doesn't include anyone who contributed to Scritpshadow without knowing all this, but if you continue to do so knowingly, frankly I can't wish you any success)
(And, once again, if any of this isn't getting through- JOHN AUGUST shares the same views on Carson. That's probably one of the most switched on pro-writers out there. So just why would someone like that perpetuate Phil Gary's lies.....what a mystery)
Ok, you're right. Your rant was not emotional. You've displayed no signs of arrogance or obsessiveness. The fact that your notifications are set to inform you of any post in this particular thread is mere coincidence. You're obviously here just to support other writers. There must be evidence of that all over the forum. Shame on me for not finding it. My bad.
And sorry to have confused you with my bold highlighting. I wanted you to understand that 'comparison' is part of the very definition of analogy. You did not seem to understand this before, but no doubt your morning coffee had not kicked in. It happens. Normally you would have refuted my point with a, you know, argument, but being tired you resorted to circular semantics. But carry on. You're a righteous fellow. On behalf of us sinners, thanks for the moment of grace you shared with us.
Ok, you're right. Your rant was not emotional. You've displayed no signs of arrogance or obsessiveness. The fact that your notifications are set to inform you of any post in this particular thread is mere coincidence. You're obviously here just to support other writers. There must be evidence of that all over the forum. Shame on me for not finding it. My bad.
And sorry to have confused you with my bold highlighting. I wanted you to understand that 'comparison' is part of the very definition of analogy. You did not seem to understand this before, but no doubt your morning coffee had not kicked in. It happens. Normally you would have refuted my point with a, you know, argument, but being tired you resorted to circular semantics. But carry on. You're a righteous fellow. On behalf of us sinners, thanks for the moment of grace you shared with us.
No problem. Glad we got that sorted and didn't have to resort to passive-aggressive tactics.
Peace be with you.
PS. I'm a Brit. We were way past morning coffee and in fully-awake, logically reasoned mode.
PPS. Circular semantics? The very definition clearly states MAY as in not definitely. Hence why there is a difference between Analogy and Comparison.
I'm not going to get into any internet argument. I will just state my view on the Script Shadow situation as succinctly as possible and leave it at that.
I refused to support Carson when he was reviewing in-development scripts. When he stopped, I eased up on him. I'm not the type to hold a grudge. People change and I believe in letting them.
While I've never been a supporter of making in-development scripts available to the general public, nothing changes the fact that these scripts can only come from people inside the industry. And I know for a fact there are people in Hollywood who pay attention to the Script Shadow blog.
It's terribly presumptuous for anyone to assume I have unrealistic expectations. I'm a three time Nicholl quarterfinalist. I've received an honorable mention at Trackingb. I've had a script optioned in Hollywood. I've written on assignment. I've queried. I've had my scripts requested by many of the management and production companies that are available to unknown writers. I've also worked my ass off to try and produce my own films. I've done my due diligence.
I don't have blind faith in Carson's opinion or anyone else's. I'm just a humble writer trying to do everything I can to get a project off the ground. Being selected for an Amateur Friday review at Script Shadow is a little publicity for one of my scripts. Maybe it will lead to something. Maybe it won't. It's just another avenue. It costs me nothing and it may get some people interested in my script who didn't even know about it before.
Warning Shot was already being considered by a production company before I ever submitted it to Script Shadow. But I've been doing this long enough to know that you don't just wait around to see what happens. I'm going to do everything I can to promote myself as a writer. You don't stand out by being exactly like everyone else.
There is one other consideration — and that's the question of talent. Maybe I don't have any. Maybe I'm mediocre at best. Maybe conventional doors aren't open to me. Most of the criticism of submitting to Script Shadow is built around the supposition that the writer would succeed regardless. But that's not guaranteed. There are those who say things like, "Great scripts get you in." Maybe they're completely full of shit. Maybe you can be a great writer and still fail to get noticed. When you look at the math, you'll see that's possible. But for anyone who insists great writers are guaranteed success, what about the possibility that I suck as a writer? This is what I want to do and I'm going to do it no matter what anyone thinks about my talent.
This is pretty much all I have to say on the matter. I could go on about the agony of being so close and watching a project fizzle, but I'll simply say that I don't think I'm quite as ignorant or delusional as Script Shadow detractors might think I am. I'm not the sort to get into prolonged debates with people on the internet, so I'm going to leave the matter here. Anyone who thinks less of me because I submitted a script at Script Shadow will just have to go on thinking poorly of me. I can't please everyone and I'm not going to try to.
Hope this puts the issue to rest, at least as far as I'm concerned. Best of luck to all involved.
I'm not going to get into any internet argument. I will just state my view on the Script Shadow situation as succinctly as possible and leave it at that.
I refused to support Carson when he was reviewing in-development scripts. When he stopped, I eased up on him. I'm not the type to hold a grudge. People change and I believe in letting them.
While I've never been a supporter of making in-development scripts available to the general public, nothing changes the fact that these scripts can only come from people inside the industry. And I know for a fact there are people in Hollywood who pay attention to the Script Shadow blog.
It's terribly presumptuous for anyone to assume I have unrealistic expectations. I'm a three time Nicholl quarterfinalist. I've received an honorable mention at Trackingb. I've had a script optioned in Hollywood. I've written on assignment. I've queried. I've had my scripts requested by many of the management and production companies that are available to unknown writers. I've also worked my ass off to try and produce my own films. I've done my due diligence.
I don't have blind faith in Carson's opinion or anyone else's. I'm just a humble writer trying to do everything I can to get a project off the ground. Being selected for an Amateur Friday review at Script Shadow is a little publicity for one of my scripts. Maybe it will lead to something. Maybe it won't. It's just another avenue. It costs me nothing and it may get some people interested in my script who didn't even know about it before.
Warning Shot was already being considered by a production company before I ever submitted it to Script Shadow. But I've been doing this long enough to know that you don't just wait around to see what happens. I'm going to do everything I can to promote myself as a writer. You don't stand out by being exactly like everyone else.
There is one other consideration — and that's the question of talent. Maybe I don't have any. Maybe I'm mediocre at best. Maybe conventional doors aren't open to me. Most of the criticism of submitting to Script Shadow is built around the supposition that the writer would succeed regardless. But that's not guaranteed. There are those who say things like, "Great scripts get you in." Maybe they're completely full of shit. Maybe you can be a great writer and still fail to get noticed. When you look at the math, you'll see that's possible. But for anyone who insists great writers are guaranteed success, what about the possibility that I suck as a writer? This is what I want to do and I'm going to do it no matter what anyone thinks about my talent.
This is pretty much all I have to say on the matter. I could go on about the agony of being so close and watching a project fizzle, but I'll simply say that I don't think I'm quite as ignorant or delusional as Script Shadow detractors might think I am. I'm not the sort to get into prolonged debates with people on the internet, so I'm going to leave the matter here. Anyone who thinks less of me because I submitted a script at Script Shadow will just have to go on thinking poorly of me. I can't please everyone and I'm not going to try to.
Hope this puts the issue to rest, at least as far as I'm concerned. Best of luck to all involved.
The problem is I have to stick to what I believe in, but this is where it's tough. Because, perhaps contrary to my posts, I am a nice person. And in all things, there are exceptions to the rule.
So I absolutely can't condone Carson or anyone who might profit in some way from his website, but at the same time, in our brief PM exchange, I like you.
So it's a conflicted dichotomy where I don't really think people should succeed through Scriptshadow, but I want you to succeed (or at least find more success).
I'll avoid any more talk of Carson and just say I hope what you want to happen with your career happens.
As to Kevin, no hard feelings. We all enjoy a bit of a debate once in a while. What writer doesn't? I won't change my view on Carson (which, like Breanne, did mellow a bit when he announced he would quit reviewing in-production scripts... but seems to have gone back on his word every now and then), but I'll leave others to make up their own mind. And good luck with your projects too.
Carson has a top article today about the Road Warrior. Or Mad Max 2 to the real world, lol. One of my fave movies of all time and the best Aussie film for me. Saw it at the drive in as a 20 year old. Unbelievable.
Carson has a top article today about the Road Warrior. Or Mad Max 2 to the real world, lol. One of my fave movies of all time and the best Aussie film for me. Saw it at the drive in as a 20 year old. Unbelievable.
Don't be modest, Stevie, we all know you played the Humongous.
Go to the Scriptshadow home page. Scroll down to "Archives" on the right hand side. Click on 2013. Click on the "Amateur Offerings Weekend" in between "Screenplay Review - The Giver" and "Amateur Friday - The Devil's Jokebook." You will find Breanne's "Warning Shot" there along with Janet's "Stream of Consciousness."
So I absolutely can't condone Carson or anyone who might profit in some way from his website, but at the same time, in our brief PM exchange, I like you. & So it's a conflicted dichotomy where I don't really think people should succeed through Scriptshadow, but I want you to succeed (or at least find more success).
Why not?
Why not succeed through scriptshadow or any other means by which to get your work noticed?
What you said is some of the stupidest shite I've ever heard.
Who are you to judge whether or not an avenue or resource for a writer to gain recognition deserves your favor?
You make it sound like he’s running some kind of illicit operation bent on profits.
If you don’t like scriptshadow, don’t fuccing visit it.
And another fuccing thing…
I don’t appreciate people hijacking this thread and taking Breanne’s thunder on what should be a very exciting week for her.
She earned that review and all that’s being bantered about is a completely unrelated thread regarding Carson’s site.
Start another thread if that’s the theme this thread is going to continue on.
Why not succeed through scriptshadow or any other means by which to get your work noticed?
What you said is some of the stupidest shite I've ever heard.
Who are you to judge whether or not an avenue or resource for a writer to gain recognition deserves your favor?
You make it sound like he’s running some kind of illicit operation bent on profits.
If you don’t like scriptshadow, don’t fuccing visit it.
And another fuccing thing…
I don’t appreciate people hijacking this thread and taking Breanne’s thunder on what should be a very exciting week for her.
She earned that review and all that’s being bantered about is a completely unrelated thread regarding Carson’s site.
Start another thread if that’s the theme this thread is going to continue on.
And remember, Breanne accomplished something.
That’s what this threads needs to get back to!!!
Shawn…..><
And yet you respond with an evocative post when everything had died down and returned to normal.
As to 'some of the stupidest shite'.... Is it?
Carson's questionable actions are up there for all to see. I don't think I specifically stated his actions were illicit..... but if the shoe fits. He reviews in-production scripts against the express wishes of all involved in a way that drives people to his website so he can peddle his wares. Sounds just a little illicit to me.
Or would you agree with a website that reviewed first draft manuscripts of novels without the consent of the writer?
But anyway, all that had died down. Thank goodness you posted about the Carson debate to remind us not to keep talking about the Carson debate.
You wanted to end your little day long war with your shots across the bow demeaning those who find value in the sourses availible, including spriptshadow.
You wanted to end your little day long war with your shots across the bow demeaning those who find value in the sourses availible, including spriptshadow.
You wanna let it die?
Let it die now!
Shawn.....><
It already had. But I'll leave you with one last link-
If you still want to be associated with Scriptshadow after that, all power to you. I and a lot of other working writers (including those mentioned in the link) would rather not.
Scriptshadow is bad for working writers but good for newbs who are looking for a leg up.
That's what I've gotten from this thread. Getting the chance for a deal is better than not getting one and having to twiddle your thumbs for another year or two.
Maybe the pro-writers are pissed because he critiques their scripts. There may be a bit of that also.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. I figure the script is too simple and straightforward to get a "what the hell did I just read." I'm thinking the worst that can happen is that it gets a "wasn't for me." Still nervous, though.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Job well done! But no one here is really surprised with the results, you're one of the best writers around. Hopefully you can get some traction with "Warning Shot."
I've already made my views on Scriptshadow clear, but that doesn't stop it being a huge achievement when Carson doles out a good review. So kudos!
I read the script. Some great moments. Part of me wonders if it wouldn't work better as a stageplay given the dialogue heavy scenes (particularly in the second act) and constrained minimal locations. But I mean that as a compliment. The dialogue is good enough that it doesn't need bells and whistles, fancy camera shots etc etc. I'd be happy enough to see this performed on stage and let the dialogue speak for itself.
There's a few issues here however. The odd clunky line and questionable logic in the first act, but once we hit the farmhouse, you hit the sweetspot. I would hazard a guess that around pages 40-60 (from where David enters) were your fastest, most flowing pages to write. It reads effortlessly. In fact, my only real issues were in that opening act. And a few others dotted here and there. I'm not buying Audrey's reaction when she first sees Rainy. I'm not buying the woman in the car asking Rainy anything having just had her life threatened. I wasn't overly happy that once David dies, he's sort of cast aside etc etc.
But overall, it's a well crafted story. Being deadly honest, in the current climate, it's a tough sell for a wide theatrical run, but as a limited run, tense thriller this could be really good. I'd be surprised not to see this produced in some form or another. Whether that be on screen or stageplay.
I enjoyed the read. Liked the characters (despite struggling on some of Cheyenne's more adult-like lines). Really nice piece of work!
DC, thanks for reading and commenting. I'm overwhelmed with all the feedback I've received. I've made it a point to consider every suggestion.
I agree it could work as a stageplay, but I personally prefer a movie. I could go for both, though.
It was definitely written for actors. My view is if you don't have a big budget, go for big performances (read that: great roles for actors). I've got some prodcos circling already. Hopefully, something will work out.
Seeing as quite a few members have had their scripts reviews on scriptshadow and most of them positive. Besides Ledbetter, have others gotten any attention due to their reviews on that site?
I got one request due to Stream's nomination. Didn't go anywhere, however.
Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see?
I actually read a bit of it a while back (Stream of Consciousness). It was very nicely written. I remember reading the opening, then the ending. Remember thinking that it was very compactly written. Good job.
Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see?
The script I have uploaded here is fine but the one my producer is sending out for funding is a bit different.
It's been gone over multiple times by us during Skype sessions making small tweaks and changes as well as making it as close to flawless as humanly possible.
We literally went through it word by word, line by line.
By the time we were done, I could almost read it in my sleep.
Request for a read? If that is what you mean, I'm a bit puzzled. Isn't the script uploaded there for everyone to see?
I actually read a bit of it a while back (Stream of Consciousness). It was very nicely written. I remember reading the opening, then the ending. Remember thinking that it was very compactly written. Good job.
Yeah. Now that you mention it, that's a little strange. But it was a mainstream actual producer, so they probably just wanted to make sure they went through the whole "sign a disclaimer" route.
Thanks re: Stream. Got a few oars in the water right now with the short, BTW. (Through Inktips.) So far, a very, very nice opportunity. And it might result in the feature getting traction, too....
I submitted my script "A Cinematic End" like 3 weeks ago to Script Shadow. I see it popped up in the newsletter today. So it's in the running this week in the Friday Amateur Submissions.
I guess they have a pile of scripts and you just have to wait until you get your turn.
I'll try to keep active in the comment section there.
One thing to point out about Scriptshadow is that as I said this was pulled from a pile. I submitted it 3 weeks ago and then again last week. Now the version I submitted last week was a bit revised and the "WHY YOU SHOULD READ:" part was different. In the first submission I just tried to keep it short and simple.
So if you plan on submitting over there, try to get it right the first time you submit your script. Because if you submit it multiple times (the site says to do so) you don't know which version they will put up.
I've been thinking about submitting "Shards" for a bit. Maybe I might do so next week. Still editing the blasted thing. I'll likely submit it under a pseudonym.
I thought about that as well. I most likely should have polished the thing one more time and cut it a bit... but what the hell. Sometimes you shouldn't postpone things. I threw that script away and on to the next one.
Keep your expectations low and eventually you'll be surprised
I've submitted a couple times late last year. No dice.
I'll try again later.
And here's hoping he picks yours!
Thank man.
I think they are picked at random. Or he just glances over the loglines. Like I said, he used the email I sent him more then 3 weeks ago. Not the one I sent him last week. Which had the same "subject".
All the best, Demento. I only skim read your script - not enough to write a review on - but what I read was awesome. Good luck!
Side note: I don't think they just pluck scripts randomly - maybe the log-line. I sent one in the other week as a tester and it went in the next week. Much to my amazement and horror, haha. The logline remains engaging, the script another matter.
52 pages? Well, if it's filled with action it could easily hit 1hr10mins, but even that's short for a feature. Sounds like a bad thing to me, but I'm no pro-critic.
Dialogue takes up lots of space. The dialogue-free short I wrote comes in at 8 pages, I bet when we film it it will be closer to twelve minutes... or even fifteen. The fight scenes have been taken completely out of my hands. I've learned a valuable lesson about action in a screenplay... whatever I write will not be utilised once the fight choreographers get hold of it. Also, when I've written a fight scene these guys can make it last as long as they like. I can't wait to make that film, it's going to be huge.
You may also find when you read a dialogue-free or low dialogue screenplay that it feels like it has taken longer to read.
The average screenplay comes in around 15000 words... did anyone count the words in the werewolf thing? That's assuming dialogue could be comparable to action on a word for word basis, which I don't think it can.
The Robert Redford film, All Is Lost, is 107 minutes long... yet the script is only 32 pages. But it is, essentially, dialogue free. Hence how such a short page count resulted in a standard length film.
Sofia Coppola's film, Somewhere, is similar: 98 minutes long, but only 44 pages. But that has scenes which are a few lines in the script, but last for minutes (the ice skating scene, the slow zoom shot of the protag and his daughter by the swimming pool, etc.). So this is a more interesting point; if this script had been directed by somewhere who leans towards faster cuts, shorter scenes, and snappier editing, the script would have translated to a much shorter film. But as it is, what with Sofia Coppola favouring longer takes and slower scenes, a short script became a normal length film.
I don't know if this should be in a separate thread, but I was reading in the SS newsletter that some werewolf feature made a sale.
The thing is the script is only 52 pages because of very, very little dialogue.
Is that good or bad?
Carson was asking the question is 52 the new 110?
What's everyone think...
The script is Yellowstone Falls. But from what I've read, it's not actually a werewolf script, it's about a mother wolf protecting her cubs from mutant humans after the apocalypse. As far as the 52 page thing, I think that has more to do with the fact that there is very little to no dialogue. And, this is a writer who's sold many scripts before this one, plus is repped by a powerful agency, so I think that gives you a good deal more leeway in the material you put out.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
I think it's a losing battle though. Judging from the first set of comments. From what I can tell it's between my script and a script called "The Devil's Hammer". Seems a bit like that guy has a fan base, seeing as there are a few reviews that are very favorable towards his script and don't mention any of the rest that are in the running. Plus he won some contest (I don't even have a credit/debit card to enter one. - lol). I think best case scenario, I come in with the second amount of votes.
But we press ON!
Support for the next potential candidate from Simply Scripts - REPRESENT
Seriously though, I only want to help. The pitch is pretty weak. Looking it over now and it's been rushed. Your first time though so it's to be expected.
You usually only get out what you put in. The logline and following pitch are where you get to show off a little. Yeah, you may have guys mentioning about this bullshit win or that bullshit win but that's just bullshit. The question is asking why people should read your story. Tell them.
Here's the entire pitch:
Quoted Text
TITLE: A Cinematic End GENRE: Contained Thriller/ Dark Comedy LOGLINE: A man retreats to his secluded cabin to commit suicide. His plans are delayed when movie characters start showing up. WHY YOU SHOULD READ: Because the logline grabbed your attention. I also whipped up this poster to get some additional interest going: http://imgur.com/LW8xcSq
It's assuming the reader's attention has been grabbed by the logline. Mine hasn't... but it's subjective. On the one hand there could be some decent wit at play in this feature, but if so, then why doesn't the logline deliver better? Why hasn't the writer used the space available to sell this script?
Here's another pitch, and I'm not going to pick the best one:
Quoted Text
TITLE: Knit Wits.pdf) GENRE: Comedy LOGLINE: After the passing of their mother, three estranged brothers must reunite and take over the family knitting business. WHY YOU SHOULD READ: “Knit Wits” is a cross between “Horrible Bosses” and “Silver Linings Playbook.” It’s an edgy comedy with a lot of heart that focuses on three men running a knitting business. Now, I tried to learn how to knit in order to do some research before writing the script, but it was a total nightmare. Much of that frustration is showcased in this spec. Knitting is not for me. However, writing about it in a comedic way is much more my style and a hell of a lot more fun!
I wouldn't read it as it's not my thing... but it is sold far better. The pitch is sound and the logline is great. A logline is not like a screenplay. If something can fit into one sentence then you shouldn't use two... it just seems unprofessional... but again, that's only my opinion
I've been thinking of how to pitch my own to Carson over there, need some advice:
Quoted Text
TITLE: Shards
GENRE: Supernatural Thriller/Horror
LOGLINE: Haunted by his dead nephew, a man travels to a secluded town to piece his memories back together only to discover tragedy waiting for him. - 88 Pages .pdf.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: "Shards" is "Silent Hill" meets "Poltergeist". It's a supernatural thriller with perception at its core where certain people can see their dead loved ones, and the spirits of said dead loved ones believe themselves to be alive. In order to accomplish the "spook factor" of this story I played through the video-game "Silent Hill: Downpour" and watched several "supernatural" movies that include the forementioned to deliver a chilling thrill-ride heavy with twists and an ending you'll never see coming.
Does this sit well? I'm on the fence about submitting it with that pitch.
I've been thinking of how to pitch my own to Carson over there, need some advice:
TITLE: Shards
GENRE: Supernatural Thriller/Horror
LOGLINE: Haunted by his dead nephew, a man travels to a secluded town to piece his memories back together only to discover tragedy waiting for him.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: "Shards" is "Silent Hill" meets "Poltergeist". It's a supernatural thriller with perception at its core where certain people can see their dead loved ones, and the spirits of said dead loved ones believe themselves to be alive. In order to accomplish the "spook factor" of this story I played through the video-game "Silent Hill: Downpour" and watched several "supernatural" movies that include the forementioned to deliver a chilling thrill-ride heavy with twists and an ending you'll never see coming.
Does this sit well? I'm on the fence about submitting it with that pitch.
Just my opinion, but I think you kind of make it sound like you played a video game, watched a couple of movies, and decided to write a script.
Here's my quick take on the logline and pitch:
LOGLINE: A man haunted by the ghost of his nephew travels to a secluded town to recover from amnesia, but finds only tragedy waiting for him.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: "Shards" is a supernatural and psychological thriller centering on perception. The living see their deceased loved ones and the dead believe they're alive. It's a chilling thrill ride with one twist after another and an ending you'll never see coming. If you think you've already got it figured out, you're wrong. Dead wrong.
All that said, I'm presuming the man didn't kill his nephew. Pleeeaaase tell me the man didn't kill his nephew haha.
Just my opinion, but I think you kind of make it sound like you played a video game, watched a couple of movies, and decided to write a script.
Here's my quick take on the logline and pitch:
LOGLINE: A man haunted by the ghost of his nephew travels to a secluded town to recover from amnesia, but finds only tragedy waiting for him.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: "Shards" is a supernatural and psychological thriller centering on perception. The living see their deceased loved ones and the dead believe they're alive. It's a chilling thrill ride with one twist after another and an ending you'll never see coming. If you think you've already got it figured out, you're wrong. Dead wrong.
All that said, I'm presuming the man didn't kill his nephew. Pleeeaaase tell me the man didn't kill his nephew haha.
It's the second draft of another story, this time with a more supernatural tone than a detective thriller, which it was before. That second idea works better.
Never been good at coming up with inticing loglines unless it's fantasy.
Thanks.
And no, he didn't kill his nephew. He's just haunted by him.
And no, he didn't kill his nephew. He's just haunted by him.
Hope it didn't come across like I was fishing for spoilers. I only brought it up because it's so obviously what will come to a reader's mind after reading your logline.
Nah, it's fine. It never comes up in-script. He's never suspected. The story's really not about the murder of the nephew, but more about fragmented minds and perception, what is real, what is false, etc.
Forgive me for my silliness - but this just seems like another version of this site. What is the great attraction to send scripts to this place? Some guy chooses what he will will review and read? That's it? Sorry if I appear a little dense here but I'm struggling to see what the big deal is.
He's got access to producers and the like. He helped one guy to sell his script. I think it was Mark Walberg's production company bought it.
R
It was called 'The Disciple Program'.
Scoob, I reckon Led would be the best person to tell you about Script Shadow and Carson, and how valuable the experience was, seeing as his screenplay rated highly and now he has a producer attached.
I'd like to get over there and vote... but I seriously have no idea how that place works. It's a great script... read it this morning in a little over an hour. Great story. At first the start seems like it's stuck on for no reason, but it plays in nicely at the end.
Forgive me for my silliness - but this just seems like another version of this site. What is the great attraction to send scripts to this place? Some guy chooses what he will will review and read? That's it? Sorry if I appear a little dense here but I'm struggling to see what the big deal is.
What's the point?
Yeah, like Libby and ren mentioned, the site has value.
Simply Scripts is a place where your script is read, reviewed, and other writers offer insight as to how to make it better. It's a process that can take days, weeks, months...
ScriptShadow is a forum where you go through a two day head to head contest against several other writers. The readers over there often only read a few pages and in some cases, only the logline and then vote on their favorite.
After that, the peer reviews stops almost as quickly as it starts. It really is a wild weekend.
Demento prolly hasn't gotten much sleep this weekend.
Carson makes the final call on which script gets reviewed by him.
Based on his review, the writer can receive some attention from anyone in the industry who keeps up with Carson. He does have a lot of contacts and his review of my script garnered it a bit of attention, resulting in it being optioned.
The producer, who now manages my script, read the review by Carson which led him to contact me. I would most likely have never had that opportunity had I not posted it on ScriptShadow.
Because of my producer’s contacts, it's now in the hands of several CEO's of major picture companies for funding and I get daily updates on the progress by him.
A casting director has also been attached as well as negotiations with several A-list actors’ managers.
None of this would have happened had I not put my script on ScriptShadow.
Submitter is forewarned though...
The process is a bit nerve racking and the forum where your script is reviewed can be rough, but in the end it can pay off in spades.
The thing about ScriptShadow is the odds are against you. Plus ca change.
It's not his fault. He can't like everything. Thing is, if you put it over there and it doesn't get picked or he doesn't like it, that is that. But it's probably better to know and have a go. Otherwise your script will be gathering dust in a drawer or more likely, a hard drive.
I do remember him giving Looper a bad review though. So he'll get no biscuits at my house if he does come round for tea.
Yeah, he hated the original draft of World War Z, liked the filmed version and liked Prometheus... Still, he's got some contacts, so it's worth giving it a shot.
Carson is weird. He'll talk about what a script needs, but when he comes across one that meets his requirements...sometimes...it still doesn't do it for him. I've seen a couple of reviews like that. Well, that and the fact that he kind of hates movies that, IMO, are pretty damned good: Looper, The Dark Knight, Inception, Place Beyond the Pines, Blue Valentine, etc.
But Lee, I wouldn't worry about submitting. Most of the scripts for Amateur Friday aren't that great, honestly. That's just my opinion, though, but I can never get past ten pages...sometimes I can't even get past the first 2 or 3 pages. So you probably have a good chance at getting picked if you submit your best work. The only submission I ever read in full was Shawn's "What Doesn't Kill You" when it was up over here. I wish I had a chance to check out Breanne's contained thriller but I missed out on that one. But yeah, back to you Lee, just give it a shot. Whatever you want to submit, send to me first, and I'll try to give it a quick look.
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