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DECKHAND JOHN DOE rushes down the dimly lit hallway.
CAPTAIN CORNETTO follows. His jiggling rotund belly and not-quite-grey-bearded face gives the impression of a younger Santa but the anagram lies behind his eyes.
CREW’S QUARTERS
The door opens.
DOE (O.S.) In there sir.
Cornetto stands in the doorway.
The room is a mess, debris-strewn. Dark crimson splatter leads to a message on the wall – written in blood: ONLY ONE SURVIVES.
The remnant of a man lies in the center of the room. A slice neatly down his middle exposes bone, fresh meat. His entrails pop out of that slit like pus from a pimple.
The corner of Cornetto’s lip turns up in a half smile. Then serious.
CORNETTO Who did this, Doe? (no answer) Doe?
LOWER DECK CORRIDOR
Cornetto turns into the hallway.
CORNETTO Doe?
Doe isn’t there. Cornetto smiles as he whispers.
CORNETTO The game is on.
Behind him, down the corridor, a shadow moves. Footsteps. Cornetto turns.
CORNETTO Doe?!
INT. DINING SALOON
An array of fabulous guests finish their meal to the soft but lively sounds of guitar music.
DANA ORANGE, twenty-three years old, short and petite, strums her guitar on a small elevated stage in the corner of the room. Her eyes narrow as she starts in on her special rendition of Copacabana. She taps her foot in rhythm with the music, occasionally revealing a shiny object tucked purposefully inside her boot - perhaps a prop for her big finish?
THUD! The guests look toward the saloon door, the origin of the sound. The music stops.
The doors fly open. Doe staggers in. He’s cut up badly, patches of fresh blood shine irregularly about his body. He scans the room, full of hurt and terror – it’s difficult to talk.
DOE The captain…murder…murder…
And he collapses to the ground.
A flash of light.
NIC BEQIRI, 20's, drops his trusty camera from his face. A twisted smile replaces it, one that seems more crazy than angry or happy.
Then as if appearing magically, COUNTESS ZADORA of Sweden stands next to Doe’s body. She is tall, dressed in black with snow white hair and blue eyes. Blue eyes that frequently change with her mood -- to obsidian black reflecting her true dark nature.
She kneels next to Doe and traces her finger across his bloody cheek. She puts her bloodied finger in her mouth and sucks on it. She smiles.
She gets some strange stares from the other guests as they begin to gather around the body.
One of those guests pushes through the crowd. DR. BERT NEWCOMER (40), the ship's physician, he eyes the passengers with a wry mix of amusement and contempt. His slightly graying hair lends him an air of dignity that some might even consider attractive -- were it not for the smug arrogance that infuses his every word.
NEWCOMER Let me through you idiot! I’m a doctor.
He pushes through the last line of obstacles and stares down at Zadora who kneels next to Doe’s body. Zadora looks up at Newcomer as she pulls her finger slowly out from between her lips. It makes a popping sound as her fingertip leaves her lips.
ZADORA A B negative. Very rare.
Newcomer looks as Zadora strangely as he kneels next to Doe and places his fingers on Doe’s carotid.
NEWCOMER He’s dead.
Murmurs from the crowd. Zadora scrunches her face in an extremely sour expression.
NEWCOMER Did you know him?
Zadora shakes her head, then she sputters, sticks out her tounge.
ZADORA Type O. So common! Another’s blood.
More murmurs. Newcomer is sceptical.
NEWCOMER Don’t tell me…you can taste blood types?
Zadora sticks her chest out proudly. Newcomer stares.
ZADORA My taste buds are very big and very sensitive. Would you like to test them?
Newcomer does a double take.
Flash, Nic takes another photo. Zadora covers her face with a sweep of her arm then runs off. Newcomer looks at Nic, annoyed.
NEWCOMER Do you HAVE to take pictures?
NIC (thinks about it then) Yes.
NEWCOMER Put the camera down and help me carry this body to the medical center.
NIC The medical center? I thought you said he was dead.
NEWCOMER You want to leave him here?
More murmurs from the crowd.
T. JOE stands by the pantry door. He strains under the weight of the plastic tub of dirty dishes he carries. His faded Kill 'Em All t-shirt is stained with sweat under the requisite plastic apron.
T. JOE I’ll help.
Nic sighs with relief. Newcomer eyes T. Joe suspiciously.
T. JOE I’m dressed for it.
T. Joe puts down the tub of dishes and hurries toward the corpse.
NEWCOMER Okay. The rest of you, go to your cabins and stay there.
T. Joe and Newcomer lift Doe’s body and walk toward the exit.
They walk past MISTRESS MORGAN COOPER, who has shapely legs on which she carries herself in an old school "English proper" way which somehow gives her a look of classic innocence even though her life has been anything but that! She looks at her watch...so much about life is about timing. Now is the time.
COOPER Pardon me. (clears her throat) Pardon me! (she has their attention) Where is the captain? I must insist on speaking with the captain!
NEWCOMER He’s not here.
COOPER Where might I find him? This man, the one you’re holding, he said something about the captain being murdered? Is this true?
NEWCOMER I would say that we don’t have enough observational data to decide whether it is true or isn’t.
COOPER (haughty) Right. So where could one observe him then, if one were so inclined?
T. JOE Look lady. This corpse is gonna break my arms.
Cooper looks down her nose at T. JOE, says nothing, just looks.
T. JOE He’s probably driving the ship.
Cooper looks back at Newcomer.
COOPER The bridge then.
Newcomer nods.
COOPER Thank you.
Cooper walks away.
T. JOE (under his breath) B!tch.
COOPER (O.S) I heard that.
T. Joe is not amused but Newcomer laughs as they cart the corpse out the exit.
BUSH (40’s), large, maybe too large, obviously notices Cooper as she walks past him. She gives him a distressed glance and he smiles, very awkward but very planned. And he gets a tentative smile in return. There’s something about his easy going way, his worldly honest eyes, maybe his dilated pupils that attracts them. She’s hooked and now it’s time to reel…
A camera flashes behind him. He spins, fist ready to lash out. But it’s Nic and Nic cowers.
NIC I just needed your picture, man.
Bush lowers his fist.
BUSH Well you got it. Now get out of my face.
NIC Okay
Nic turns away then turns right back.
NIC Hey, you’re that skiing guy, the one with the medals.
BUSH Yeah. That’s me, five gold medals at Sarajevo. You want me to, uh...
Bush mimes signing an autograph with his hands.
NIC No. I’ll remember.
Nic walks away smiling, Bush is confused.
Then Bush remembers. He turns and glances at the spot where he last saw Cooper but she isn’t there.
BUSH Sh!t!
On the other side of the room Zadora watches Bush as he scans the room. Then she watches him exit. Her eyes narrow.
In the foreground, blocking Zadora, Orange walks by, her guitar hanging around her neck. She absentmindedly strums some chords in a way that isn’t quite music. When she passes, Zadora is gone.
Another strum, this one more hopeful, more musical.
ORANGE How about some music? (the crowd assents) Any requests?
CROWD Copacabana.
Orange frowns. She brings down her pick hand and
IN ORANGE’S MIND
She pulls the trigger on her Tommy Gun, a regular gun moll filling the unsuspecting crowd full of lead. She laughs heartily. Each crowd member jiggles while the rat-tat-tatting bullets raise little spouts of blood upon entry to their bodies. A big showy smile then
BACK TO REALITY
Where only her narrowed eyes betray her real intentions. The crowd taps their feet. She plays another chord then…
ORANGE Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl With yellow feathers in her hair and…
The dining table is silent as Orange's rendition of 'Copacabana' plays out.
STE BROWN(20s) sits with an amused smile on his face, studying the stunned faces of his tablemates. He pulls a deck of cards from his jacket pocket and shuffles them with skilled ease.
His gaze rests on GABRIEL M. RIPLEY across the table from him, dressed in a dark suit and his hair tightly jelled back. He looks like a businessman but his stern composure reflects something else.
STE How about a game? You know, just to kill the tension.
The comment breaks the ice on the table as the table seperates into smiles, chuckles and looks of contempt at the very poor choice of phrase.
Gabriel delicately finishes his meal and sits back in his chair. Expressionless and impossible to read. Several beats pass as the two diners exchange a stare.
GABRIEL I don't play...games.
STE Me neither...but suit yourself.
Ste stands up, straightens his jacket out and heads to the bar. The silence returns to the table, only broken briefly by -
STE(O.S) I need a drink!
Gabriel looks around at his fellow passangers at the table. His eyes betray the anger he feels for having his solitude broken.
INT. MAIN SALOON, BAR
PATRICK(SPUD) MURPHY stands behind the bar polishing glasses and watches the first class passangers eat through the double doors. His smart black suit and white shirt give him an air of someone important. To many he in fact would be the most important person on the ship, he is the head barman, he alone holds the keys to the booze store.
Patrick smiles to Ste as he walks in and takes a pew at the bar.
PATRICK (strong Irish accent) What'll it be?
Ste stays silent for a moment, eyes fixed on Patrick.
STE Irish boy, aye? Face looks familiar, what's the name?
PATRICK Murphy, Patrick Murphy but everyone just calls me Spud. Can't say the same...sorry. So, what'll it be?
Ste shuffles his cards, eyes still fixed on Patrick, lays them out on the bartop.
STE Wild Turkey.
Patrick turns to the vast array of bottles that hang on the wall. Picks up a glass.
PATRICK Double?
STE Just give me the bottle and I'll work it out myself.
Patrick turns and smiles, passing the bottle and a shot glass across to him.
Ste pours a shot and knocks it back.
STE Always had a problem with the Irish personnaly.
Pours another shot and knocks that back too.
STE Lost a lot of money on a boxing match a while back, ya see. Guy called 'O'Neill'.
Ste watches for a reaction, there is none. Just a shared steely stare.
PATRICK Can't say I've heard of him.
Ste nods, a knowing smile on his face. He pours himself another shot as -
GABRIEL(O.S) I only play for high stakes.
Ste turns to see Gabriel to his side, he measures him up as Gabriel takes a seat.
GABRIEL Just remember what I said though...I don't play games.
Ste gathers the cards together and gives them another shuffle.
STE (to PATRICK) I think we need another glass, Paddy.
GABRIEL Dealer's choice.
Gabriel drops his hand, stopping a card that flies his way on the bartop.
STE Five card draw. I hope you've got a fat wallet.
Bush spins around, watches as Cooper quickly exits the premises. He starts to exit, takes a step after her, then stops.
ZADORA (O.S.) (whispers) You want me…
Behind him, Zadora’s steely stare is on him…her eyes twinkle in a strange, mesmerizing fashion.
ZADORA (whispers…oddly…lips still) I want you…
As he turns back into the Dining Saloon, she’s suddenly there, in front of him…mouth open…cold…CRUEL…a wide smile. They collide. Bush’s knee goes out, he awkwardly falls forward, and down.
BUSH Shit…not my knee again. God Damnit!
ZADORA (O.S.) (whispers) You’re mine…soon…
He looks up, but the Countess is nowhere to be seen. No one else seems to notice, as music and conversation continues around him. No sign of her…anywhere.
Bush looks around, confused…entranced.
BUSH What the…
He picks himself up, limps over to the bar, where two others are already seated.
STE You OK there, bud?
Gabriel turns as well.
BUSH Yeah…my fucking knee just went out again. That freakin’ blonde bloodsucker chick just appeared in front of me, then she’s gone. Strangest fucking thing I ev…
GABRIEL Well, if it isn’t the illustrative Mr. Bush.
Bush smiles at Gabriel, shoots out a hand.
BUSH Mr. Ripley, I should have known.
They shake hands. Bush sits down, looks to the bartender.
PATRICK We’ve got your Belvedere and Jager on ice, sir. You look like you could use a drink.
BUSH Yeah, or three. Hit me up there with a nice martini, Spud my man. We’ll get to the Jagies a bit later.
Ste shuffles the cards continuously…effortlessly, eyes directly on Bush.
STE You play cards? We were just about to get a game going.
Gabriel eyes him as well, a smirk on his face.
BUSH Oh, I play alright, but I have a feeling this game’s a bit rich for my blood.
He looks over to Gabriel, gives him a wink. Patrick places a beautiful martini on the bar.
PATRICK There you go sir, just the way you like ‘em…dry, with three blue cheese stuff’d olives. I knew you’d be over.
STE You two know each other?
Bush raises his glass.
BUSH Cheers! Yeah, I’ve been to more than a few parties where Spud’s been servin’. A damn good bartender, if I do say so. Cream of the crop.
Gabriel looks to Ste.
GABRIEL Don’t believe a word he says. He’s loaded.
BUSH Right….coming from one of the richest men in the frickin’ world…I’d say it’s very relative.
Ste frowns, downs another Turkey.
STE Another rich, fucking Yank, huh? And on top of that, another rich martini sipping Yank. Where’d your money come from?
GABRIEL I’d say it came from his ex-wives…his dead ex-wives. Isn’t that right, Bush?
Bush sips his martini, eats a loaded olive…a smile on his face.
BUSH Spud, my man, you seriously make the best damn martinis on the planet. Absolute perfection!
Bush frowns over at Ste, as he takes another sip.
BUSH Accidents happen…right? I happened to marry two very…VERY wealthy, and hot as shit women, who happened to die. They left me their fortunes…their BIG fortunes. What can I say? I mean, you if anyone, Ripley, my old friend, can relate to that, right? And you…my new friend…you know what they say about a man and his drink…
STE What’s that supposed to mean?
BUSH Well…Wild Turkey isn’t what I’d call a well educated man’s drink of choice…now is it?
Ste starts to stand…a scowl on his face. He looks pissed.
STE You’re a real arrogant, cocky bastard, aren’t ya?
Bush smiles, takes another sip of his martini.
BUSH Well…I don’t know about arrogant, but yeah, maybe a bit elitist and shit. And you know…you’re right, I guess it’s true, there have been MANY a young lady that’ve said I’ve got quite a nice…
Gabriel stands up abruptly…his chair falls to the ground with a THUD.
GABRIEL Still the same old Bush, huh? Things haven’t changed much, have they?
Bush rubs his rather rotund belly.
BUSH Well, old friend, I’ve got about 40 pounds of change right here after that last knee op, but you know what they say…
GABRIEL Plus c’est change...
BUSH and GABRILE Plus c’est la meme chose!
Patrick smiles behind the bar, while Ste looks confused.
PATRICK The more that things change, the more they stay the same.
BUSH Amen, brother!
Patrick pours himself a shot of Talisker. He holds it up to the others, they all drink.
PATRICK Well, looks like we’ve gotten things started here. Other than a dead body, a missin’ captain, and a freaky blood sucker, things are lookin’ good. Cheers mates!
Morgan leaves the chaos of the dining saloon, hurry’s to the elevator. She leans forward, pushes the call button. She opens her purse, takes out her room key, then looks at her watch.
Her face is expressionless as she stares at the elevator light on the wall. Deep in thought, she taps her index finger on her lips.
The elevator door opens.
SANDRA E. stands inside the elevator. Her long brown hair is tucked up under a turquoise scarf; around her neck dangles a small leather pouch. She clutches at the pouch momentarily, her lips move as she whispers something to herself.
Morgan looks at Sandra.
Sandra fidgets, acts nervous as she sees Morgan standing there. She stays left as she exits to keep from bumping into Morgan. They exchange positions.
Morgan pushes the hold button on the elevator. Her eyes are focused on Sandra.
MORGAN (her voice low) I hope there’s something special in that pouch of yours.
Morgan’s eyes move to Sandra’s hands.
MORGAN You’ve just missed the first bit of excitement on this voyage of ours…
Morgan hesitates.
MORGAN That is unless…you’re involved…
Sandra looks confused.
SANDRA What? Excuse me? What are you talking about?
MORGAN Someone has been murdered on this boat. I hope that little pouch of yours holds some protective, magical power…you’re going to need it. We’re ALL going to need it.
Sandra brings her hands back to the smooth leather pouch as if protecting it.
Morgan pushes the “up” button, joins her hands together in front of her, while she fixes a cool smile on Sandra. The door closes between them.
INT FOURTH FLOOR UPPER DECK
Morgan exits the elevator and hurries down the long, narrow hallway, lit softly with sconces that cast amber shadows along the corridor.
She feels something…someone. She turns…nothing…there’s no one there.
She slips her key into the door, steps inside and quickly closes it behind her.
INT CABIN 402
Inside she reaches for the light switch, then stops…drops her hand, leaves the light off. She waits…standing in the dark, motionless.
Her eyes are fixed on the light coming in from under the door. A knowing smile comes to her lips…and there it is…a dark shadow blocks the light. She holds her breath…the shadow is still, then disappears.
She flips on the light, heads directly for the small kitchen counter where a bottle of Crown Royal sits. She pours herself a shot, raises it to her lips, takes a big drink, swallows then exhales the fumes.
She looks up at the ceiling and rubs her neck.
MORGAN Shit! This is going to be some boat ride!
She moves to her bathroom, stands in front of the mirror and twirls her long auburn hair into a soft bun. She picks up an eight inch hair pin, the end is adorned in silver…she pushes it through her hair.
She applies lipstick, admires herself in the mirror and smiles with a wink.
INT FOURTH FLOOR HALLWAY
She exits her cabin, moving to the elevator, she keeps a watchful eye. She enters the elevator, heading to the Bridge.
EXT BRIDGE DECK
Morgan walks softly as she nears the Bridge. The door is open…she stands in the darkness, watching Cornetto move about the room.
INT BRIDGE
Cornetto is busy, his head down, as he pushes buttons on the ships control panel. He writes something in the log book.
Morgan steps inside.
MORGAN I’d say it’s been a long time Cornetto…
Recognition lights his face as he turns toward her voice. His eyes soften for a brief moment, then…turn to steel.
CORNETTO Yes it has…it’s been a very long time Morgan.
MORGAN It doesn’t look like much has changed…except for …you’ve gained a little weight I see.
She grins as she leans against the console…takes a cigarette from her purse, lights it, inhales and blows out the smoke.
CORNETTO Can’t say the same for you…since when do smoke?
MORGAN Hmmm…I think since you Cornetto…
She points at him with her cigarette.
MORGAN Yep that’s it…since YOU.
She takes another drag. Their eyes are locked on each other…he looks away. She moves closer.
MORGAN (speaks softly) So tell me…what happened below? Everyone was cozy in the Dinning Saloon when DOE came barging in, all cut up. He blurts out the words “captain” and “murder”…just before he dies. Did you have anything to do with this?
CAPTAIN CORNETTO Nope.
MORGAN Funny…people always seem to die when you’re around. With "murder" and "captain" on Doe's dying lips, people are naturally going to suspect you...
She shoots him a sarcastic, mocking smile as she turns and exits the Bridge, making her way back to her cabin.
INT CABIN 402
Morgan heads straight for the Crown bottle, pours a shot and takes a sip, sets the glass down and covers her face with her hands.
MORGAN (whispers) Why are you here Cornetto? Why is this happening again?
She walks to her bed, sits down, kicks off her heels.
I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
Mistress Morgan sits on the bed. A glass of Crown Royal in her hand. She reaches over to the night stand, grabs a small but fancy shopping bag. She takes out a perfume bottle. Puts some behind her ears.
Light seeps in under the cabin door. A shadow goes by, but soon returns and stops outside the door. There’s a knock at the door.
Morgan looks up. A smile spreads across her face.
MORGAN I knew you couldn’t stay away Cornetto.
She gets up, straightens her clothes and with a feminine swagger glides to the door, opens it.
To her disappointment she finds Countess Zadora outside.
Zadora smiles... the smile never reaches her eyes.
ZADORA I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything.
MORGAN No no. It’s fine... Can I help you?
Zadora pulls out a diamond ring. Shows it to Morgan. Morgan’s eyes widen at the sight of the huge jewel.
ZADORA I found this in the dining room. I thought, maybe it’s yours…
Morgan steps aside. Her eyes never leave the ring.
MORGAN Please come in.
Zadora enters the cabin. Morgan gestures for Zadora to sit down on the bed. She does. Morgan sits down next to her, eyes still on the ring.
MORGAN ...I believe that could be my ring. Yes it definitely could be.
ZADORA Are you missing one?
Zadora studies Morgan from top to toe. Her gaze lingers on Morgan’s long slender neck. The tip of Zadora’s tongue wets her blood red lips.
MORGAN No...I mean yes. Yes I am missing one.
Zadora crinkles her nose.
ZADORA What’s that smell?
MORGAN (eyes still on the rock) Oh, it’s my perfume. Here, smell it.
She stretches her neck. Moves closer to Zadora. Zadora leans in. Her nose touches Morgan’s neck. Eyes closed. Lips parted... Suddenly she recoils. Shudders.
Morgan looks up for the first time. Horror in her eyes.
MORGAN What! Is it bad? I just bought it.
ZADORA You ate that garlic Foccacia at dinner. Didn’t you?
Morgan is mortified. She puts her hand in front of her mouth. Breathes into it, smells her breath.
MORGAN I have garlic breath!! No wonder Cornetto was so cold towards me!
Morgan rushes into the bathroom.
Zadora puts the ring away. Gets up, turns to the door. The cape swirls around her and then she’s gone.
INT. BRIDGE
Captain Cornetto gazes out the large window into the moonlit night. He picks up a pair of big binoculars. Scans the horizon.
CORNETTO Bermuda Triangle… Ha ha, what nonsense. Nothing bad ever happens out here.
He senses something. Lowers the binoculars. Turns around. Startled, he comes face to face with Zadora.
CORNETTO Ahh!... Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.
She smiles slyly at him. Takes the binoculars away from him, puts them to her eyes gazes out at the night.
ZADORA I didn’t mean to scare you.
The Captain looks offended.
CORNETTO I wasn’t scared.
She laughs at him.
ZADORA So tell me Captain… anything dangerous out there in the night?
CORNETTO No, there never is.
ZADORA The dangers are all in here?
Cornetto’s eyes narrow. An evil grin adorns his face.
CORNETTO You have no idea.
Zadora stares out at one particular place.
ZADORA What’s that, over there?
Cornetto squints, leans closer to the window. Zadora lowers the binoculars. Her eyes change from blue to black. She takes a step back.
CORNETTO There’s nothing out there.
ZADORA I know…
WHAM!!
She hits him in the back of his head with the heavy binoculars. The Captain groans, sinks to his knees. He’s out cold.
She rolls him over on his back. His eyes dart under the eyelids.
ZADORA Aww… you’re so cute! You look just like a teddy bear.
She pulls a scalpel out from underneath her cape, scans the Captain’s body up and down.
ZADORA Where do we cut? Where do we cut?
She picks up his wrist. Turns it vein side up, leans in, runs her nose along it and inhales deeply. Eyes closed.
ZADORA Mmmm.
She makes a two inch incision along the Captain’s wrist. Thick red blood slowly trickles out.
ZADORA Ooh… look at that. Vilken delikatess!
She sticks the tip of her tongue into the cut. Runs it deep inside along the length of it. She opens her mouth, surrounds the cut, drains the blood out of the good Captain.
After a moment she looks up. Blood drips from the corners of her mouth.
ZADORA So rich. Such a delicacy… but I must stop now. Your cholesterol is so high. I must think of my health.
She puts his arm down on the floor. The blood slowly drains out. Cornetto looks pale. Zadora pinches the Captain’s nose. Covers his mouth with the other hand. Cornetto spasms for a few seconds then finally goes limp.
ZADORA Min kära kapten, jag är ledsen, men jag var tvungen. Jag var hungrig.
She gets up. Looks at him with affection.
ZADORA I’m sorry… I guess the second captain will have to drive this boat from now on.
A panicked look comes over Zadora. She stares down at Cornetto with fear.
Dana Orange leans back in her chair, her feet propped on the table, sandwiched between two empty plates. She softly strums a sad song, her eyes staring out towards the horizon of the sea, lost in a trance.
NIC You wouldn’t believe the kind of stuff people leave on their plates.
Dana turns to Nic, startled, her playing abruptly stopped. He sets a plate of scavenged pieces of food on the table and takes a seat.
NIC (continuing) Potatoes, shrimp...Zadora didn’t even touch her food. Makes you wonder how they’re all going to get through the night huh?
She eyes him momentarily, gauging his stature and intent.
ORANGE I guess.
She turns her head back to the sea and picks up where she left off. Nic pauses, trying to think of something to spark a better conversation.
NIC Tough night for the deck hand huh?
ORANGE Yeah.
NIC A strange night to die indeed.
Nic looks up towards the moon. It is full and bright.
NIC Such a beautiful night though.
Dana’s eyes trace upwards.
ORANGE You know what they say about a full moon, right?
Nic chuckles.
NIC Werewolves?
Dana turns to him, her eyes never betraying her calm demeanor.
ORANGE Vampires.
NIC What?
ORANGE A body bathed too long in the moonlight becomes a vampire. You’ve never heard that?
NIC I guess not, but then again, I’m not one for folklore. You know all that...bigfoot, Vampires and leprechaun crap? I have yet to see a picture of a vampire and until I do...
ORANGE Just because you say something doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean it can’t exist.
NIC That’s a lot of negativity in that sentence. I don’t think I approve.
Orange bursts into a giant laughter. Nic smiles.
NIC Ah, I gotcha!
Orange just rolls her eyes and continues to strum, this time the song seems more neutral.
ALFFY HUDSON, a young looking 30 year old, dressed in a fine suit appears from the bar area catching Nic and Dana’s attention. He is counts a few bills and chuckles to himself before looking up and noticing Nic and Dana staring at him. He SHOVES the money into his pocket and nods at them. Nic raises his camera and takes a picture of Alffy. The flash from the camera catches Dana’s attention.
ORANGE You know in some cultures, taking pictures of people without their permission is like stealing a part of their soul.
NIC Well aren’t you full of facts and figures tonight?
Alffy approaches their table with a smile on his face.
ALFFY It doesn’t matter to me,I’m sure I could always just...steal it back.
ORANGE You can’t steal a soul back.
ALFFY Sure I can.
ORANGE Trust me, you can't.
NIC No, no, I think he’s right. I mean, if you can steal it in the first place what’s to say you can’t steal it again? There is no limits on how much a soul can be stolen, right?
Dana stares at them both in disbelief.
ORANGE I am not having this conversation right now.
Nic chuckles and Alffy just smiles.
ALFFY So what are you two doing down here? A lot of people are up at the bar. They’re having a real good time.
Nic shrugs.
NIC I like to move around unnoticed, you know? Makes for the best photos.
Alffy nods as his eyes trace down to Orange’s black boots. He notices the silver object tucked inside her left boot. He tilts his head.
ALFFY What’s that in your shoe?
Orange’s music abruptly stops and she takes her feet off the table. Nic and Alffy eye her suspiciously. She stands up and throws her guitar around her neck.
ORANGE I’m going to have the word with the captain.
Orange begins to walk away, Nic stays there momentarily confused about what just happened before a small smile creeps into the corner of his mouth. He raises his camera and takes a picture of her. Orange stops and turns around. She glares at him before continuing through towards the bridge. Nic sighs and leans back. Alffy stares at Nics plate of food momentarily before leaning forward.
ALFFY You gonna eat that?
INT. BRIDGE
Dana turns the corner to see Cornetto laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
ORANGE S**t.
She looks around, checking her surroundings before taking the guitar off her neck and gently resting it up against the wall. She slowly makes her way towards Cornetto, and kneels beside him, raising his head in her hands. She leans down towards his face, listening for something. She hears nothing.
ORANGE You’re still warm. That’s good.
She lowers her head and looks out towards the moon. It bathes Cornetto like a mother does its child. She turns to Cornetto and stares into his dull and vacant eyes. She smooths down his blood soaked hair before lowering his head gently back onto the floor and reaching into her shoe. She pulls out a thin silver tin. She looks around once more before opening the tin and retrieving a rolled up piece of cloth from within. She sets the cloth on the floor, and rolls it out to reveal a wooden stake and red butterfly knife.
ORANGE Purely precaution my friend. Not my usual choice of blade but, it’s definitely more...subtle.
She takes the crystal and places it on his forehead. She closes her eyes. A blue light swirls around the gem and Cornetto’s head before disappearing inside the crystal. It glows momentarily before fading.
ORANGE That oughta hold you for now.
She places the gem back onto the cloth rolls it up. She then places the tin back into her shoe and rolls her pants down over it. She stands up beside his body and stares at him, the moonlight shining on them both. She sighs. She tilts her head curiously and speaks in a soft voice as if cooing a baby to sleep.
ORANGE Who’s going to drive the boat?
A dark shadow moves quickly behind her, startling her. She turns around to see no one there.
ORANGE Hello?
A chill comes over her body and she shakes it off. She walks over to her guitar and slings it around her neck. He exits the bridge, heading for the bar.
Orange enters. She shudders in fright from a loud SHOUT, coming from inside.
She finds the source: Ste, SHOUTING joyously, at the bartop.
Gabriel watches him in amusement. Bush, sitting close by, downs his fourth drink.
CLICKING sounds followed by flashing lights on Ste. Nic shows himself with his trusty camera already at work.
STE (shouting at Nic) I won!
MONTAGE – PICTURES OF STE
Ste with his arms in the air smiling brightly.
Ste’s mouth shaped in a O directly at the camera.
Ste brandishing his earnings.
Ste’s feet, mid motion of a jig.
The last picture is Gabriel sitting down with a smirk on his face.
END OF MONTAGE
Nic smiles as he stops and fidgets with his camera.
STE (to Nic) I want copies of that. (to Gabriel) You’re good Ripley.
GABRIEL Not good enough to beat you. Good call on calling my bluff.
STE Man! That was close! Let me buy you drink.
GABRIEL Nah. I don’t drink. After getting pummeled, I’m going to sleep it off. Nice playing with you Mr...
STE Brown.
GABRIEL Brown. Maybe we play another time.
STE Sure?
GABRIEL Positive. We have a long trip ahead of us and hopefully we can have more people involve.
STE Whenever you’re ready.
GABRIEL Mr. Bush.
Gabriel leaves, smiling. He passes Alffy who doesn’t notice him. Alffy’s attention rests on the cash on the bartop.
STE (stuffing the money in his pockets) This yank is sure loaded.
BUSH You never heard of him?
Ste shrugs.
BUSH He’s one of the wealthiest men in the world.
STE Billionaire?
BUSH More. There’s not a word invented for the amount of money he has.
STE Wow.
BUSH Supposedly, he killed all his business opponents, which is bull since the courts showed that he wasn’t even near the victims. And that they all put him in their will. It’s difficult to forge a will, according to the specialists. No. He and I are the same. We’re surrounded by envious people, who find anyway to disgrace a person’s name.
Bush raises an empty glass.
STE Want another one?
BUSH Thanks. Mind if I do.
Alffy looks back in the direction where Gabriel left.
Ste (O.S.) So, how loaded are you talking about?
INT. ELEVATOR ENTRANCE
Gabriel pushes the elevator “up” button. He’s smile has faded away, replaced by a cold calculating look. He looks at his watch and presses the “up” button again.
The door opens. Sandra’s inside, scared.
GABRIEL Are you alright?
SANDRA I heard a scream.
GABRIEL Oh, that was Mr. Ste Brown. He and I were having a card game, he won.
SANDRA No one died.
GABRIEL Died?
SANDRA This lady told me that someone died.
GABRIEL One of the captain’s workers.
SANDRA Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
GABRIEL Calm down.
SANDRA There’s a murderer on the boat and you’re telling me to calm down!
GABRIEL You’re blowing this out of proportion. Come out.
SANDRA No!
She fights Gabriel off.
SANDRA I’m safe here.
GABRIEL Alright. Have it your way.
The doors close, closing Sandra in. Gabriel takes the stairs.
AT BRIDGE DECK
Gabriel walks. He stops at the CAPTAIN STATEROOM. Checking inside, he finds no one.
GABRIEL Captain?
Gabriel goes onto the bridge deck.
GABRIEL Cap…
Captain Cornetto lies dead on the floor. He’s pale as paper, except for his wrist which is covered in red.
Gabriel examines the area, finding it slit. He lets out a LAUGH.
GABRIEL (to himself) Thanks Stolas. (to Captain) Well, captain...
He picks up the body.
GABRIEL Sorry to say but...
He moves the captain’s body to the rail --
GABRIEL You are officially retir-
ZADORA (O.S.) No!
Appearing from behind, Zadora pulls Gabriel away from Cornetto. Cornetto’s body stands up right on the rail.
She holds a scalpel to Gabriel’s throat.
GABRIEL Countess. How good for you to show yourself?
ZADORA Do I know you?
GABRIEL You will later, but for now...catch!
Gabriel kicks at Cornetto, causing him to flip over.
Zadora lets go of Gabriel and makes a grab at Cornetto, grabbing on to his legs.
ZADORA Help!
Gabriel flees.
Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages. https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
The S.S. Craven sails into what what seems as darkness, but above the ship, fizzling particulates flicker obscurely- orange sparks that can only mean one thing- the Bermuda Triangle Paradox.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
INT. BRIDGE DECK 506 MAIN STAIRCASE
Gabriel's cloned equal scurries down the stairs, away from Zadora whilst:
Our beloved Gabriel, assassin for the A side of The Agency-- killer for the good cause, heads to the elevator.
EXT. BRIDGE DECK
Zadora, shakes her head, clutches her chest, pain extinguishing the coldness of her stare. She's confused and disoriented. She staggers along the bridge whispering:
Zadora Sandra? I remember. My sister. Who am I?
Trying to find her way, she enters to the insides of the bridge and down a long corridor. She reads the numbers. They are blurring out of focus. She finally makes it to:
INT. CAPTAIN'S STATEROOM
Zadora enters explosively and there- sitting neatly with a glass of wine by his side: Cornetto, a look of shock.
Zadora I never wanted to be a superhero. Born with the gift- born with a curse. I can feel it-- the B side of The Agency is taking over, every time I get close into the nightmare, I get trapped by my genetics.
Cornetto I should have seen this coming. It's my fault. Hopefully Sandra can get the Portal opened before I shift course into the center of this three sided gate of dreams or nightmares or-
Zadora Hopefully Bert can find the genetic print for time gates.
Cornetto Before the bloody B side does. Or nature's scales are going to tip to the side of thorns and thistles and-
Zadora Terror.
Cornetto Let's get to the Medical Center and find out if Bert's got a soul for transplant. Doe really did believe in Bert's work- even when the rest of academia said he was a fool- so much so he gave his life to prove it.
Cornetto hands Zadora his glass of wine.
Cornetto This might help to keep Ms. Hyde away for awhile. I've infused it with Vale salts- it's helped me a lot, but they're not the answer to the disease. We better get going.
Zadora and Cornetto exit.
INT. ELEVATOR
Sandra frantically punches keys on a small pyramid shaped locating device.
Sandra I'll be safe alright... (ad-libs of numerical sequences)safe if I can get this piece of crap--
The device makes a low spiraling noise-- like a "you lose".
Sandra Come on! We've got quantum-bloody-military-take-me-to-the-top-technology-- what the hell's wrong?! Think!
Sandra bangs her head on the wall.
EXT. ELEVATOR
Our beloved Gabriel watches as the elevator opens. This just happened didn't it? But...
INT. ELEVATOR
Sandra hauls the refined Gabriel into the elevator causing him to trip inside. She bangs the button.
Sandra No time to explain, but we've got clones on the ship and yours just came visiting and he looked as dark as Hell.
Gabriel notices the ring on Sandra's hand.
Gabriel You're married? Don't tell me, your boss?
Sandra I'm the psychic one, you're the one who induces people into hysterical laughter- remember? Quit trying to screw with things.
Sandra starts laughing hysterically.
Gabriel smiles.
Sandra (can't stop laughing) Ok, ok, I give. You've still got it even in this blasted triangle. Wish I could say the same-
Gabriel (slumping down to the floor) You can't figure the sequence to open the portal? Your powers aren't working?
Sandra (fumbling with the keys) The energy fields are interfering with my abilities. Wait- if my psychic power won't work then
Dual Dialogue How 'bout we do it the old fashioned way.
Sandra stops to look at Gabriel.
Sandra Will you stop that.
Gabriel That is weird isn't it.
Sandra Gonna use the old intellect... (punching keys) One plus one equals two.
Gabriel Oh that IS brilliant!
Sandra breaks into hilarity. Then...
Gabriel Did I do that?
Sandra Just messin' with ya. One- I've got the genetic code for a Human inside this baby and two- I've got Bert's new soul code- put the two together and what've you got?
Gabriel I give up. A Klingon?
Sandra Put man and soul together and I think you've got a God.
A final few clicks and...
The device rings upwards in success!
Suddenly, The Everly Brothers, All I Have to do is Dream descends all over the ship.
Gabriel and Sandra look up- completely overcome by the music, they begin to waltz inside the elevator.
INTERCUT:
SERIES OF SHOTS: as people look in confusion. Where is this coming from?
Gabriel It's open! The dream generators been opened!
Just then the DOORS OPEN.
Sandra Floor #1 Housewares, Ladies accessories, Giftware department and (smiling) UGLY DEMONS FROM HELL. For your shopping convenience we've got crystal soul stealers, power rings, amulets and vices galore.
Gabriel (Breaking into hysterical laughter) Stop that!
Sandra You stop it- mind guru.
Their powers seem to keep exchanging themselves, but they're confused about it.
They enter on:
THE LOWER DECK
You'd think they've been drinking. Sandra shoves Gabriel; he shoves her back.
Gabriel (laughing) That song won't quit- how the hell are we gonna clear the nightmares that threaten the world? (laughing harder).
Sandra (poking Gabriel in the stomach) Money buys a lot Gabriel. I wish your money could buy us some time.
Gabriel's laugh inducing powers are clearly out of control. Sandra's wariness has evaporated.
INT. MEDICAL CENTER
Zadora and Michael and T. Joe watch as Bert places two gyrating crystal balls next to Doe's temples.
Bert The A part of the agency always had a weakness- mercy.
T. Joe And B is consumed by an endless hunger.
Zadora And we're all experiencing that game play out first hand.
Cornetto Sucks to have a body sometimes.
Zadora turns at the word suck.
Zadora Suck?
She heads to Cornetto. T Joe grabs her but she throws him off with supernatural strength.
INT. GYMNASIUM Gabriel, in his suit, and Sandra, now wearing an evening dress, are playing badminton- laughing- crazy.
Gabriel I wonder why they call it badminton.
Hits the bird.
Sandra Like what's bad about it?
Gabriel We're all on this ship for a reason.
Sandra I've figured that out. To die!
More side splitting laughter from both of them. The Everly Brothers grow louder as we exit the gymnasium to see:
Alffy strides with purpose, his hands buried in his pockets. He rounds the corner and backs up quickly out of view, he watches Gabriel disappear inside the elevator.
Alffy leans back against the wall, his hands fidget in his trousers. His lip curls and his eye twitches as he adjusts his crotch. He takes a deep breath and turns the corner, YOHN YOHNSON stands before him.
Yohn adjusts his clearly fake mustache with apparent confidence and stares Alffy down.
Alffy scowls back, his hands rummage deep in his pockets. He notices a large bulge in Yohn's trousers. He lowers his head, gives it a shake and calmly walks past.
Yohn removes a handgun from his trousers and puts inside his jacket.
INT. CAPTAIN'S STATEROOM
The door slowly opens and Alffy's head swings in to view. He glances round the room and enters.
He heads straight to a large book and flips it open, his finger traces down a list of passenger names and settles under the name of Gabriel M.Ripley. He grabs a pen and scribes something down on a piece of paper and stuffs inside his pocket before leaving.
INT. CABIN 86
Alffy stands over a jug of water, a small pill clasped between his fingers. He pauses and moves toward a bottle of Vodka, its seal broken. He unscrews the cap and drops the pill inside.
INT. CORRIDOR
Yohn Yohnson stands in front of the elevator and presses the down button. He looks behind him as the door opens.
Sandra sits curled in the corner, slowly rocking back and forth in a trance as she clutches the pouch around her neck.
Yohn turns back and stares inquisitively at Sandra.
YOHN Hey, you alright down there?
Sandra continues to rock.
Yohn reaches down and tugs on her arm.
YOHN Miss, are you....
Sandra looks up as Yohn's false mustache falls from his face.
Sandra screams
Yohn jumps back.
YOHN Sorry, I never meant to startle you.
SANDRA Who are you, and what's wrong with your face?
Yohn clutches his mouth, feels it with his fingers and realises his cover is blown. He looks down, snatches his mustache and sticks it back on upside down.
SANDRA Murderer! Murderer!
Yohn panics and flaps his arms in attempt to calm Sandra down.
YOHN Calm down, I'm not a murderer.
His handgun becomes visible inside his jacket.
Sandra notices and her eyes bulge with panic. She jumps to her feet...
YOHN Just calm...
Sandra thumps him in the nose and runs off down the corridor.
Yohn clutches his face, his eyes fill with water.
YOHN shit.
INT. ROOM 87
Alffy sits on the bed, his eyes wander deep into the corners of the room. He puffs out his cheeks and exhales with boredem.
A thud from next door.
He smiles, jumps up and rubs his hands together like a bad movie villian.
INT. ROOM 86
Alffy enters and freezes at the sight of Sandra on the floor. He closes the door and removes a scrunched up piece of paper from his pocket. He stares at the number '86' scribbled on it. He rolls his eyes and turns the paper to read '98'.
He mouths the word 'Bollocksl'.
He shrugs his shoulders, leans over Sandra and snaps the pouch from around her neck and stuffs in his pocket. Before removing his hand he has a quick adjustment and then a more servere scratch.
Sandra's head rolls on the carpet, a smile across her face. She twitches and startles Alffy.
Alffy rummages through a nearby drawer and pockets anything of interest.
Sandra's fidgets become more frequent and begin to simulate actual movements.
Alffy watches with interest.
A noise from outside the room distracts Alffy and he stands transfixed on the door. Footsteps grow louder, approaching.
Sandra sits up behind him.
SANDRA I've figured that out. To die!
Alffy panics at Sandra's outburst, snatches an object from the dresser and slaps her across the face with it. She falls back with a sickening thud and lays silent.
Alffy looks at the object in his hand, a blood stained ashtray.
He turns back to the door as the footsteps near.
GABRIEL (O.S.) My word against hers, and who's gonna believe her?
Alffy braces the door with his back. He stares at the ashtray and then at Sandra.
Blood pools around her head.
Alffy listens as the footsteps fade out. He opens the door and exits.
EXT. DECK - NIGHT
Alffy throws the ashtray into the ocean and takes a deep breath. He puts his hand in his trousers, his eye squints as he yanks at his crotch.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
Patrick stares out at the calm, black seas while he smokes a cigarette.
A deep inhale followed by a puff of white smoke which gathers in the air above his head like a cloud.
FOOTSTEPS approach, Patrick lets the cigarette drop over the railing and quickly turns.
Dr. Newcomer and T. Joe turn the corner and see Patrick.
BERT HaHa! Caught you Murphy. I thought I had ordered you to stop?
PATRICK I tried, I really did. But things seem a little stressed round here. Needed something, you know, to take the edge off.
BERT If it is the edge taking off you need I am sure I have got something a little better than tobacco in my bag. (beat) Anyway, Is the bar open?, I think we deserve a drink.
PATRICK Yeah, there are a few drinkers still around. Go help yourself to the Jameson's, be there in a minute.
Bert and T.Joe make their way into the bar.
Patrick lights another cigarette and turns back to face the ocean.
EXT. BRIDGE DECK - AT THE SAME TIME
Zadora leans over the railing clutching at Captain Cornetto's arm.
She is struggling to hold his weight.
Zadora I am sorry, I can't hold on any longer.
She lets go of her grip and falls backwards in a heap on the deck floor, she lets out a tortured SCREAM.
EXT. DECK
Patrick stares out to sea, something falls in front of him and hits the waves with a loud splash.
PATRICK Man overboard! Man overboard!
The wiry little Irishman wastes no time and quickly rips off his suit and shoes.
PATRICK Help! Man overboard!
Patrick grabs hold of a life ring and jumps over the railing and into the ocean below. He hits the cold water and disappears beneath the surface.
It seems like an eternity before he re-appears with the ring still in his hands. Ahead he can see somebody bobbing up and down, he swims strongly towards it.
He eventually reaches the body, turns it over and reveals Cornetto's dead face.
PATRICK Captain. Oh Jesus no.
Patrick holds on tight to both Cornetto and the ring, it is attached to a rope which in turn Patrick hopes is still attached to the ship.
Struggling in the water he turns towards the giant ship.
PATRICK Help! Help!
He is tiring, water splashes his face. The struggle to keep Cornetto afloat seems to take its toll.
After a while everything goes dark.
INT. PATRICK'S CABIN
Patrick opens his eyes, he is laying on his own bed. He slowly looks around the room, trying to make sense of what is happening.
The bathroom door opens and into the bedroom walks Sanda. She is dressed only in a bathrobe, she stands at the foot of his bed.
SANDRA I thought you might be dead.
PATRICK I was beginning to think the same.
SANDRA I am happy you're not.
She slowly opens her bathrobe to reveal her nakedness underneath and lets it drop to the floor.
Patrick looks confused, he tries to edge away from Sandra, he leans back against the headboard.
PATRICK What in God's name are you doing?
SANDRA Don't ask questions, just do as I say. (beat) You want a smoke?
Patrick nods.
Sandra's hand rises up to the top of her head and slowly peels the top of her skull away, her hand delves into her head and brings out a glass ashtray. It is covered in her blood and pieces of skull and brain. She offers it to Patrick.
PATRICK What the hell?
Sandra now looks mad, her eyes light up with vivid red and yellow colours. She throws the ashtray against the wall shattering it to thousands of pieces.
SANDRA I told you not to ask questions!
Suddenly her breasts start to grow, swelling up as though something is inside and trying to get out.
Patrick jumps from the bed and runs to the door, he knocks over a lamp and it smashes to the floor. He tries to open the door but it is locked shut.
He turns to face Sandra frightened. She is now standing in the middle of the room, her breasts are expanding at a rapid rate, her eyes are now bright red.
Finally Sandra's gigantic mammaries can no longer take the stress and burst open with an explosion so big that beams of light shoot out and turn everything bright white.
Patrick SCREAMS, he is terrified, he SCREAMS again.
INT. MEDICAL CENTRE
That is until Bert slaps his across the face..
BERT Murphy, it is okay. You are safe now. Calm down.
Patrick opens his eyes and sees that he is laying in the medical centre, Alffy, Gabriel, Bush and Nic all surround him. He lays on a bed wearing only his underwear and black socks. He is dripping wet.
PATRICK What's happening? Where am I?
BERT We pulled you from the water, you passed out. You are lucky we got you in when we did.
Patrick's face is twisted in confusion and fear.
PATRICK Exploding tits.
Bert's mouth curls, puzzled, perplexed. Finally a smile crosses his face.
BERT I think maybe you were dreaming.
Patrick sits up, his face slowly turns to a look of calm.
Suddenly he remembers, concern replaces the calmness.
PATRICK The Captain, It was the Captain. I think he was dead!
BERT It's okay, you got him. He is in my room.
PATRICK He's alive?
BERT I needed to attend to you first, he can wait until we are finished.
PATRICK So he is dead then?
BERT We can talk about that afterwards. You just concentrate on recovering, you have probably got hyperthermia. You could do with some rest.
Patrick knows a fight he cannot win, especially with Bert. He nods his head and turns to the others.
PATRICK Thank you guys, I am in your debt.
ALFFY Think nothing of it, you are the one who deserves the praise after jumping in after the Captain like that.
BUSH Brave or stupid? I can't quite seem to decide.
Nic lifts up his camera and snaps a photograph of Patrick.
ALFFY Do you have to?
As everyone turns their attention towards Nic, Gabriel, quietly and unseen, sneakily exits the medical centre.
Nic is alone inside the elevator. His trusty camera hangs around his neck. The elevator doors open and he heads away.
INT. CORRIDOR
Cooper comes in his direction; she tries to avoid him, by trying to open a locked door. She is forced to face Nic.
NIC You don’t like me much do you?
COOPER You’re a bit weird.
NIC Thanks.
COOPER That’s not a compliment.
NIC Don’t matter.
They fall silent for a moment. Cooper avoids looking at him. From the end of the corridor comes Ste Brown.
STE Nic, damn you.
Ste grabs Cooper by her waist and smiles.
STE C’mon, take a picture of me and this wonderful lady.
NIC Jeez. He’s drunk and I’m out of here.
Nic enters in the dining room. Ste and Cooper share a look then she leaves.
INT. DINING SALOON
Orange’s voice shakes the place, but nobody watches her. What is she, some kind of jukebox? Gabriel cheers from the table blowing kisses at her. Nic approaches Orange after she’s finished with the song.
NIC Lovely.
ORANGE Thanks.
She eyes his camera.
Gabriel watches them.
NIC Why does everyone stare at my camera and not at me? Nothing good comes from this camera. Just, murdered people. Dead things.
Orange looks at him.
ORANGE Well, we can change that, can’t we?
Nic looks perplexed.
ORANGE Let’s go to your room.
NIC My room? For?
ORANGE Photos my dear, just photos.
A wicked smile crosses Nic face.
NIC Meet me on the deck.
INT. ROOM
The room is red lighted. Photos cover all the walls. Murdered people, blood, kids without head – this looks more like police room with photos of victims. There is a place on the wall where empty without a photo. Nic stares at it.
NIC Let’s fill this place.
INT. CORRIDOR
Dana Orange walks alone through the corridor; she’s dressed so pretty a blind man wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of her.. She enters the elevator.
INT. ELEVATOR
Inside is Alffy.
ALFFY So, you’re going there.
Orange nods.
ALFFY I think you shouldn’t go alone.
Orange smiles then –
ORANGE I’m not.
She exits.
EXT. DECK Orange’s silhouette shows up till she’s lit by the moonlight. Nic is there. He can’t take his eyes off of her and there’s something in them, something…
NIC You’re magnificent.
Orange smiles.
NIC You’re beautiful. (pointing) Go there. The moonlight will add your skin a good color.
Silently Orange obeys. She takes the pose.
CAMERA P.O.V Orange is in frame, Nic focuses on her face – SNAP.
CUT TO:
INT. DINNIG SALOON
Bert is having a drink alone. Ste and Gabriel play poker. Bert looks around the room.
BERT Where’s that singer?
EXT. DECK
Nic lowers the camera. He looks happy, a tear crawls down his cheek. He moves closer.
Orange gazes at him. She’s trembles. She looks around but there’s only Nic. He grabs her and kisses her.
She’s stunned. Nic looks directly in her eyes.
NIC Let’s go to my room.
Orange nods then smiles.
NIC I just got one of the best photos of my life.
Nic exits. Orange hangs back. She scans the deck then she whispers.
ORANGE Gabriel?
NIC (O.S) Dana?
Dana is flustered.
ORANGE Coming Nic.
She hurries off.
After a moment Bush comes on deck.
BUSH Ah! Fresh air.
He notices something down at his feet. Blood. Bush is shocked. He follows the blood trail and finds its source coming from some sacks. He takes the sacks off. Gabriel lies in a pool of blood.
Nic enters, leading Dana in after him. He closes the door behind them and locks it whilst her attention is drawn to the many gruesome photographs mounted on his wall.
ORANGE I didn’t realise you were THIS kind of photographer…
NIC I’m not a photographer Dana; I’m a catcher of emotion, of moments and history, of life… and death. (Grinning) The latter being my personal favourite.
Dana shifts uncomfortably as Nic looks at her with a gaze of sinister desire.
NIC Since I first heard your voice tonight, your sweet, angelic, seductive melody, calling out to me like a… like a Siren!
Dana steps away from Nic.
ORANGE (Laughing nervously) You must really like Copacabana!
NIC I knew you were the reason I came aboard this boat; the reason I brought my camera.
Dana looks around for a means of escape, but the only way out is the door, and Nic stands in her way.
Nic points to the empty spot on the wall in the centre of the other photographs.
NIC You see that empty spot there Dana? I’ve been saving that spot for something special… someone special… special like you.
Dana’s eyes widen as Nic reaches behind his back and reveals a pizza cutter.
Dana loses all fear and looks at Nic with a 'WTF' expression.
ORANGE A pizza cutter… Are you shitting me?!
NIC You looked so beautiful tonight, glowing like a diamond in the moo --
BANG!
The front of Nic’s face explodes, splattering Dana with brains and blood. She screams.
Nic’s body falls to the floor. His camera lands in front of him and flashes, catching the image of his gory, caved- in face.
A beam of light shines into the room through a single bullet hole in the door.
INT. YOHN’S CABIN – BATHROOM
Moments earlier…
Yohn stands before a mirror as he secures an over-sized bandage to his bloody and broken nose. He fails to notice his upside-down moustache.
He takes a small tape recorder from his trouser pocket and presses record.
YOHN First night on the S.S.Craven. Lost sight of Ripley after an incident which appears to be a murder… is he related? I’ll bet my bottom dollar!
Yohn pauses to ponder for a moment…
YOHN Note to self, find out what that phrase means… Anyway; my attempts to locate the scumbag were unsuccessful. I ran into a hostile female… is there any other kind?!
He chuckles consciously into the tape recorder.
YOHN She blew my cover and sucker punched me on the nose.
He gently touches his nose and squirms in pain.
YOHN I think it’s broken. She must’ve seen my weapon… and my gun!
Again he chuckles into the tape recorder, and then takes the tiny, toy-like handgun from his jacket and shoves it back down his pants.
YOHN Note to self, next time buy one of those James Bond wrist-watch laser dart shooting gizmos instead… In any case, I’ve got to proceed with ninja-like caution. Ripley is still out there, and from the sounds of it, indulging in his favourite leisurely pursuit… MURDER!
A knock at the door startles Yohn. He drops the tape recorder onto his foot and yelps.
He bends down to pick it up and bangs his head on the edge of the bathroom counter.
YOHN Sonuva!
A large bump almost instantly appears.
He pockets the tape recorder and rubs his aching head as he meanders to the door of his room.
He opens the door. Nobody there.
He sticks his head out and looks down either end of the corridor. No activity.
He notices red light glowing under the crack of the door from the room opposite his. He shrugs his shoulders and closes the door.
He turns around and comes face-to-face with the ethereal image of Sandra.
Yohn screams and turns to run out of the room but forgets the door is closed and slams into it. He tips backwards like a falling tree and crashes onto the floor.
The gun in his pants goes off as he lands, firing a shot from between his legs which hits the door.
A female shriek is heard from outside.
Smoke flows from the bullet hole between Yohn’s legs.
A translucent Sandra stands over him; upside-down from Yohn’s view.
SANDRA Help me you klutz! The very fabric of reality is being torn around us. Clones, and Vampires, and Ghosts, oh my!
Yohn calmly reaches for his tape recorder and presses record, keeping his eyes fixed on the ghostly apparition above him.
YOHN Note to self… change underpants at next available opportunity.
Sandra points towards the door.
SANDRA Redrum! Redrum!
Yohn sits up and crawls towards the door. He opens it a crack and peeks out. His moustache half dangling on his upper lip.
He sees Dana, covered in blood, hastily fleeing the room opposite his. He spots Nic’s corpse slumped on the floor by the door.
He looks up at the bullet hole he accidentally shot through his door, then at the bullet hole in the door opposite, then at Nic’s body, and puts two and two together... and gets five.
YOHN There’s been another redrum!
He removes the gun from his pants, and grabs his tape recorder.
YOHN Ripley strikes again!
INT. DOCTORS OFFICE
Captain Cornetto lays naked on an operating table. His body strapped down.
Bert enters the room. He snaps on a pair of rubber gloves and eagerly examines the Captain’s blood soaked wrist.
BERT Well now… this is interesting.
He takes a syringe and carefully extracts some of Cornetto’s blood.
MORGAN Cornetto!
Bert turns around to see Morgan stood a few feet away, her face awash with shock and disbelief.
Bert turns to face Morgan, her face awash with shock and disbelief.
His eyes narrow.
BERT You are not supposed to be in here.
Morgan struggles to tear her eyes away from Captain Cornetto, magnificent in his nakedness.
She composes herself.
MORGAN There is trouble...up on deck.
EXT. DECK
Bush helps Ripley to his feet. Bert rushes up, followed by Morgan.
BUSH What kind of ship are you guys running here, doc? Every time I turn around, someone new is getting maimed!
BERT Easy, cholesterol boy. (to Ripley) What happened here? Are you hurt?
RIPLEY It was dark, and it happened so fast. Somebody jumped me. He might have had a moustache, but later it looked like he didn't. It was very odd.
BERT He's obviously delirious. I better take him down to medical for a check.
Bush eases over to Morgan. He slides an arm around her waist.
BUSH We'll keep an eye on things up here, then.
Morgan smiles at Bush.
MORGAN Yes. An excellent idea.
Bert scowls at the pair, but then turns and leads Ripley towards the stairs.
INT. BUSINESS CENTER
Ste sits at a computer. He punches a few keys and the printer next to him begins to hum.
He retrieves the paper. An article about a boxing match.
The headline reads "O'Neil Leaves Opponent Comatose". And there is a picture of Patrick.
Ste chuckles evilly to himself.
STE Never heard of him, eh?
EXT. DECK
Bush sits astride one of the wave runners lined up next to the lifeboats. He makes a "brrrr" sound with his lips, as if he were riding it.
MORGAN You are quite the athlete, aren't you?
BUSH You really know me, don't you?
Morgan leans in close. She strokes his hair. She blows gently into his ear -- and then she whispers.
MORGAN I am drawn to you, Bush. I cannot help myself.
CLINK. Bush looks down to find a handcuff clamped around his wrist. He shoots Morgan a broad grin.
BUSH Oh, one of those, eh?
MORGAN We have a real connection, you and I.
BUSH And what's that?
CLINK. Morgan clamps the other end of the cuffs around the handle of the wave runner.
Bush looks up, confused.
MORGAN Your murdered ex-wife...
BUSH What?
MORGAN ...and my sister!
Bush’s eyes grow wide as Morgan begins unhitching the wave runner. He tugs at the cuffs, but he is locked to the wave runner firm and tight.
BUSH Hey! What do you think you're doing? Let me off of here!
Morgan only laughs -- as she moves to a large crank handle -- and begins lowering the wave runner.
Bush tries to start the engine. Morgan calls down at him over the railing.
MORGAN Oh, it won't start without this, dear!
She tosses the battery over the side. It drops past Bush -- he tries to snag it with his free hand -- but he misses. The battery splashes into the dark water and sinks like a stone.
Bush looks up at Morgan with rage, but she is gone.
He can only hear her laughter as the wave runner begins to lower once more, into the black, inky water of the ocean below.
INT. SAUNA
For a moment, mist and fog are all that can be seen -- but then the steam parts to reveal Zadora -- she lies prone next to a sizzling bed of coals -- naked and magnificent.
She sniffs. She smiles. She raises her head.
A shadowy figure is nearby, but concealed by the steam.
ZADORA I smell blood.
Orange emerges from the steam -- spattered with blood.
She holds a glowing crystal in one hand -- and a crude wooden stake in the other.
ORANGE It will soon be your own blood you smell, Zadora.
ZADORA You!
With uncanny ease, Zadora suddenly flips onto all fours -- poised to strike.
She HISSES like a viper, then springs towards Orange like a cat.
INT. MEDICAL CENTER
Bert enters with Ripley.
They find Ste standing over Patrick's sleeping body with a large pillow.
BERT What are you doing in here?
Ste quickly fluffs the pillow and slips it under Patrick's head.
STE Just...making sure my favorite bartender is comfortable. He needs to get better, you know. I am getting awfully thirsty.
Bert frowns, unconvinced.
INT. ELEVATOR
Alffy opens the pouch he has stolen from Sandra and peeks inside.
Then he shakes the contents into his palm.
It is an odd device shaped like a pyramid. It has numbers on one side, like a keypad.
Alffy smirks, then on a lark, he punches in the numbers 666,
The device lights up. The sides of the pyramid begin to open, revealing the intricate clockwork and wires contained within.
Then the device rises into midair -- as if by magic -- and begins to spin and hum.
ALFFY What the...?
A voice -- Sandra’s voice -- emanates from the wildly spinning device.
SANDRA'S VOICE Error. Life forces reactivated. Error.
Alffy turns -- and panicked -- begins punching furiously at the buttons on the wall behind him, but the elevator will not stop.
Ripley sits on an examination table as Bert examines his wounds. Ste looks on.
And none of them notice as the sheet-covered body behind them sits up on its table.
BERT I think you are going to be fine.
RIPLEY Can you give me a little something for the pain?
STE Yeah...me, too, mate!
Bert frowns at Ste.
And none of them notice as the sheet-covered body stands -- or as the sheet falls away to reveal the naked, bloated, reanimated body of what was once Captain Cornetto.
BERT Well, Ripley, I suppose the only thing left is the rectal exam.
RIPLEY What?
STE What?
BERT Hah-ha...I was just kid...URK!
Bert falls silent -- then falls forward onto the examination table -- a handful of scalpels protruding from his back. As Bert falls, he reveals Cornetto standing behind him.
Ripley and Ste can only stare in shock as Cornetto grabs the scalpels -- pulls them out -- and stabs Bert again -- and again -- until Bert’s limp, lifeless body slides from the table to the floor.
And Ripley and Ste can only watch in awe as Cornetto streaks from the medical center -- running full steam -- laughing hysterically -- naked and magnificent -- and quite insane.
Morgan laughs as she turns the crank. She peeks over the side. Mid-way down the side of the ship, Bush struggles wildly for his freedom.
MORGAN Bye, Bye Bushie! Sis always said you were all wet, I guess she --
CORNETTO (O.S) (wheezy and weak) Morgan.
Morgan stops cranking. She turns, scans the deck.
MORGAN Who’s there?
CORNETTO (O.S) Morgan.
MORGAN Cornetto? Is that you?
She steps forward...
MORGAN I thought you were –
CORNETTO (O.S.) Not dead. Soul --
She walks toward the voice and searches, too many shadows.
MORGAN I want to see you!
CORNETTO (O.S.) No!
MORGAN Then go to hell!
She turns away. Cornetto’s voice comes again, closer.
CORNETTO (O.S) Need help.
Morgan begins to turn.
CORNETTO (O.S) Don’t turn.
His hand touches her shoulder. She stops. Tears fill her eyes. She brushes his hand off his shoulder.
MORGAN I’m tired of your games, Cornetto. Go find someone else to help.
He touches the side of her face, wipes away one of her tears. She lets him.
CORNETTO (O.S) Only trust you.
MORGAN Right. Only trust me! You never were the best judge of character.
She wipes her eyes against her sleeve.
MORGAN I lied to you!
CORNETTO (O.S) No.
MORGAN Yes! Yes I did! Just shut up and listen to me for once? The S.S. Romero, all those hearings…It was too much for me. I thought I was going to lose you for good. So I pushed you away, told you I was having an affair -- but I wasn’t. Told myself it was for the best when you left me, but I was broken-hearted. How was I supposed to know you were going to be cleared of all charges?
CORNETTO (O.S) I forgive –
MORGAN There’s more -- but I need to see your face when I tell you.
Before Cornetto can stop her, Morgan spins to face him.
CORNETTO No!
His face is contorted in a hideously insane expression, his eyes bulge wildly in their sockets, his mouth open in a permanent wail. He tries to hide under his hands.
Morgan screams.
INT. ELEVATOR
Alffy panics while lying on the floor of the elevator. Above him floats a strange spinning device.
SANDRA’S VOICE One lifeform activated. Two errors encountered. Initiating soul load.
ALFFY Help! Somebody!
SANDRA’S VOICE Error. Soul not found.
Green lasers shoot out of the spinning device and paint the elevator in a green-light grid.
SANDRA’S VOICE Searching for suitable alternative.
ALFFY HELP!
EXT. DECK
The horror in Morgan’s face dissolves to pity.
MORGAN My God! What’s happened to you?
Cornetto still tries to hide behind his hands.
CORNETTO Lies…secrets…too dark to tell…soul missing…little time…help me, please.
MORGAN Of course. Of course I will. What can I do?
CORNETTO On bridge…Star Book…bring to…No! No!
Cornetto screams to the heavens, loud enough to wake the gods. Then he falls to the ground. Morgan rushes to his side.
INT. ELEVATOR
The grid is gone. The spinning device glitters for a moment.
SANDRA’S VOICE Soul transfer complete.
Alffy lies face-up on the floor of the lift, his face contorted into an ugly mimic of insanity. He sits up.
SANDRA’S VOICE Beginning protocol three.
The lift moves.
EXT. DECK Cornetto opens his eyes. His face is normal now. He sits up, holds his head like he has a massive hangover.
CORNETTO Morgan?
He looks up. Morgan lies sprawled on the deck. He rushes over to her.
CORNETTO Morgan!
She’s bashed up badly, bleeding heavily, but she’s breathing. He gently touches the side of her face. Her eyes open.
MORGAN (weakly) Cornetto.
His eyes moisten. He nods.
MORGAN I was pregnant when you left me.
CORNETTO What?!
MORGAN I had twins. A boy and a girl –-
CORNETTO Why didn’t you –-
MORGAN They look just like you.
Morgan smiles as she closes her eyes one last time, then she breathes her final breath.
Cornetto sobs.
BUSH (O.S) Well isn’t this just charming?
Cornetto looks up. Bush stands before him, a bloodied dismantled piece of the wave runner attached to his arm by handcuffs. Cornetto’s eyes narrow.
BUSH The thing about these wave runners is, well, they’re very badly made.
Bush swings the loose piece of wave runner at Cornetto, just grazing his arm.
BUSH How touching Captain. You and that saucy red head had a little “somethin, somethin” going on…but not anymore!
Cornetto is knocked off balance as he slips in Morgan’s blood, falling beside her. He looks up, cursing, wildly at Bush as he runs away into the dark shadows.
CORNETTO You “son of a bitch,” your sorry ass is MINE! You’re going to pay for this…mark my words, you fucking asshole!
Cornetto turns to Morgan, pulls the silver tipped hair pin from her hair, sits up and slips it into his pocket.
CORNETTO (whispers to himself) Think, Cornetto…think!
INT. SAUNA
Zadora lashes out at Dana, the steam, curling evil fingers around their struggling bodies.
DANA I’ve been following you for a long time Countess. Your time is running out.
ZADORA REALLY….you think so? I’ve known so many of your kind…tasted so many…
Zadora catches Dana’s neck in her hands. She squeezes tight and Dana stops struggling as she looks into Zadora’s ancient eyes.
ZADORA You really think you can do something with that little stake and gem of yours?
She laughs wickedly…
ZADORA (CONT.) It’s going to take more than that to take me down, my little frien…
Cornetto barges into the sauna.
CORNETTO (Shouting) Zadora! I need your help…and I need it now! HURRY!
The steam parts to expose a stunningly naked Zadora. Her jet black eyes sparkle with a strange lust. Cornetto glances at Dana, then grabs Zadora by the arm…pulling her away.
ZADORA Captain, you’ve ruined my little game, but I’ll go with you.
She turns to Dana and eyes her coolly.
ZADORA Watch your back Miss Orange, we’re not finished yet.
Zadora grabs her clothes…magically dresses in seconds, as they exit the sauna.
Dana inhales the steam, laying flat on the floor, she exhales and closes her eyes.
EXT. DECK Bush, on his hands and knees, pushes the wave runner part out of the way in front of him as he looks under the life boat where Morgan kicked the keys to the handcuffs.
BUSH (out loud to self) You should have thrown these over board too, Morgi.
Bush snags the keys, chuckles and unlocks the handcuffs, freeing himself. He stands up, straightens his clothes, runs his fingers through his thinning hair.
BUSH It must be my lucky day…I think it’s time to play some cards and have a drink.
He slips the handcuffs and keys into his pocket. He whistles as he heads for the bar.
INT. FOURTH FLOOR HALLWAY
Cornetto and Zadora carry Morgan’s lifeless body. Cornetto slips the key into the door, knocks it open with his right foot.
INT CABIN 402 They lay Morgan on the bed. Cornetto turns to Zadora.
CORNETTO I need you to work your magic, countess. We need to keep Morgan’s death a secret…for now.
The Countess looks at Cornetto, a wry smile curving her lips.
ZADORA How sweet Captain…you have feelings for her…
CORNETTO We go way back…it’s a long story…and I don’t have time to go into it right now.
He turns, looks briefly at Morgan, then exits the room.
Zadora’s hungry eyes are on Morgan as the door closes. She licks her lips.
INT. ELEVATOR
Alffy pushes the third floor button. The doors open, he adjusts his package as he exits…twitching more than usual.
INT. THIRD FLOOR HALLWAY - STATE ROOM 301
He slips a credit card in the door releasing the lock, slips inside.
He glances quickly around the room, moves to the sink and fills a glass with water, then drops a pill into it…swirls his finger around, sets the glass down on the nightstand.
He hears footsteps coming closer…he opens the sliding door to the deck and waits in the dark.
Gabriel enters the room. Holding his head, he sits down on the bed and drinks the water…slamming the glass down a little too hard.
GABRIEL That’s a potent pain killer the good doctor gave me. I feel dizzy…SHIT!
Alffy steps from the shadows, enters the room.
Gabriel’s eyes go wide…he tries to stand, his head spins…he sits back down.
GABRIEL What are you do…ing in my room?
ALFFY Thought I’d bring you your wallet.
He tosses it on the bed next to Ripley.
GABRIEL Where di..id you fin…d it?
Gabriel slurs his words…a brief look of understanding shows in his face.
GABRIEL Yoo…stole it!
Alffy moves closer…leans into Ripley’s face.
ALFFY You took more than that from me, you bastard! You killed my old man and took my inheritance. You’re rotten…and a “rip” off…now it’s time to for you to pay up.
Gabrielle rocks on the bed, his hands twitching, his face contorting strangely.
Alffy waits as the drug continues to fill Gabriel’s bloodstream.
ALFFY (whispers close to Ripley’s ear) No blood and guts in your death Ripley my man…it’ll be nice and tidy, just like you. You’ll just appear to have died in your sleep.
Alffy gives Gabriel a shove. lays him flat on the bed. He goes through Gabriel’s pants…nothing there. Checks the closet, goes through his jackets…
ALFFY BINGO! Got ‘em! . Thanks for the keys to your safe deposit box Ripley…believe it or not!
Alffy chuckles as he walks back to the bed and puts a pillow over Ripley’s face. He adjusts his pants and twitches.
ALFFY That ought to finish it.
He checks for a pulse…nothing. Not a blip. He exits into the night through the sliding door.
INT. BRIDGE Cornetto is busy at the console. He picks up a book and makes some adjustments.
On Console Screen: Words appear…Coordinates confirmed. Security box appears. Do you want to accept this route. Yes No. Cornetto clicks yes.
On the Radar Screen: There is a bleep as the radar goes over a small dot on the green screen. The next time around… it’s silent…no more bleep...no more ship.
The ship begins to turn to the left…disappearing into the night.
CORNETTO (to himself) There’s no turning back now…no matter what happens.
I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
Ste sits in the corner, a pale expression across his mush. He nervously shuffles a pack of cards.
Alffy enters calmly. He cups his crotch with extreme care.
ALFFY Hey, where's the Doc, my nuts are on fire.
Ste is unmoved.
ALFFY Hello! You in there?
Ste slowly turns to face him, his face blank.
ALFFY I knew she was a hooker, shit I bet I've got something nasty.
STE He's over there.
Alffy scratches his groin, wincing with the discomfort. He turns and looks behind him, a white sheet covers a body on the table.
ALFFY Where?
STE You're looking at him.
ALFFY Shit.
Ste stands.
STE Fancy a game?
ALFFY what, no thanks.
Alffy aggressively tugs at his trousers and a relieved expression grows on his face.
Ste walks past Alffy in a state of shock and out of the Medical Centre.
Alffy walks up to Bert's corpse. He pulls back the sheet and searches through his pockets.
INT. CORRIDOR
Ste walks in a trance like state.
INT. YOHN'S CABIN
Yohn places his gun in his jacket and snatches his tape recorder. He presses the record button amd exits the room.
INT. CORRIDOR
Yohn peers left then right.
YOHN The elusive Ripley is a bigger threat than I anticipated, I must gain the upper hand.
He strides off with purpose.
YOHN I'm struggling to keep count of his murderous actions. He murdered a passenger in the room next to mine and I never saw a thing.
Yohn stops near the elevator and rewinds the recorder. He clicks play
YOHN (V.O) ...a passenger in the room next to mine.
He hits the stop button.
YOHN Don't want anyone to hear the next bit. It don't make me sound good.
He chuckles to himself.
YOHN I'm the man...I am the man.
He unholsters his weapon and spins it round his finger.
YOHN The man with the....gun.
He frowns.
YOHN That's a bit naff.
He rubs the gun barrel across his brow as he thinks.
YOHN I'm the man, the man that can.
He points his gun with purpose down the corridor, his finger applies a little pressure to the trigger. Ste rounds the corner, oblivious and right into Yohn's sights.
INT. ELEVATOR
Dana stands in the centre, she holds a stake in one hand and the crystal in the other. Her face still spatered with blood, she looks down at the bottom of the door. There are strange scratches, as if someone tried to dig their way out of the elevator.
INT. CORRIDOR
Ste notices Yohn and freezes. Yohn's eyes widen, his gun still targets Ste's forehead.
A ping is heard and the elevator door slides open.
Yohn swivels with panic in his eyes and aims his weapon at the elevator.
Dana walks from the elevator and stops at the sight of Yohn.
She looks him up and down.
Yohn starts to sweat, he glanecs back to Ste.
STE (nervously) you wanna play cards.
Dana holds out her hand with the crystal sat in her palm.
Yohn turns back to her and stares intently at the crystal, it starts to pulse and glow. He is transfixed.
Dana throws the crystal into the air, Yohn's eyes follow, as do Ste's.
She raises the crude stake and rushes Yohn.
INT. MEDICAL CENTRE
Alffy stands with his back to the door, his trousers lowered slightly exposing the top of his bum cheeks. His hand is stuffed deep inside the front of his slacks and he rubs with speed, his head tilted back. He moans with pleasure.
Patrick enters and is startled by Alffy's actions. He coughs to gain his attention.
Alffy freezes and slowly turns, Patrick covers his eyes.
PATRICK Don't turn round.
ALFFY No, it's not what you think.
Alffy pulls his hand from his trousers, it's covered in white cream. He holds a large opened tub in the other.
ALFFY I got the lurgy man, my nuts are falling off.
Patrick lowers his hand.
PATRICK Where's Ste and the others?
ALFFY He was here, dunno bout everyone else.
PATRICK Was, where he'd go?
ALFFY I dunno know, but I think there's somet wwrong with him?
Patrick looks at Alffy's creamed up hand and raises his eyebrows.
PATRICK What about you, is it contagious?
ALFFY No, as long as you don't get funny with me.
Patrick turns and heads out
PATRICK (O.S) Right, whatever you say.
ALFFY I telling you, I'm fine.
Alffy pulls up his trousers and heads for the door. His eyes flicker orange then red before returning to his natural green.
ALFFY Wait up.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
Yohn cannot react quickly enough and Dana is soon on top of him. She plunges her stake into his chest and emits a chilling SCREAM.
In his panic Yohn discharges his pistol. BLAM! the bullet hits Ste in his crotch....
... and ricochets off of his cowboy size belt buckle only to smash straight into Sandra's crystal.
THE VOICE OF SANDRA Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
The Crystal goes mental for a second, flashing lights and alarms before imploding and disappearing into thin air with a POOF!
Yohn is lying on the ground, the stake buried in his chest. He does not move a muscle.
DANA I knew it! I bloody knew it! Dirty little bloodsucker.
STE Balls to this, I am going for a drink.
Ste turns around and stomps off in the direction of the bar.
Dana takes one last look at Yohn, and turns towards Ste.
DANA Wait up! Mind if I tag along?
STE Suit yourself, But be warned, I'm getting wasted.
DANA I like the sound of that.
Both Ste and Dana both disappear around the corner, the bar awaits.
INT. CORRIDOR - OUTSIDE THE MEDICAL CENTRE
Patrick exits the medical centre, his hands in his pockets. He shuffles slowly along the corridor, his head down. Alffy is only a few feet behind him.
ALFFY Muph, wait up!
Patrick stops and turns his head.
PATRICK You fancy a drink?
ALFFY Do I ever.
PATRICK Meet me in the bar, I am just going to find Sandra. (shakes head) I had the strangest dream, I want to check she is okay.
ALFFY (unsure) Err, she is not there.
PATRICK Excuse me?
ALFFY I mean, I saw her a few minutes ago heading towards the bar, she was looking for you.
PATRICK Well it's a stroke of luck I found you then ain't it?
Alffy smiles uncertainly.
Patrick's has a large grin on his face which seems to relax Alffy a bit. He takes a hand from his pocket and throws his arm around Alffy's shoulders, hugging him like a brother.
PATRICK You know I was sleeping with her don't you? (beat) Or should I say I was before you put paid to my get rich plan.
Patrick's other hand comes out of his pocket, it contains a surgical scalpel lifted from the medical centre.
Before Alffy can react the scalpel is embedded in his crab riddled crotch and his blood spurts across the wall.
PATRICK Scratch that you little shit.
In case you were wondering, of course Alffy now SCREAMS in pain.
ALFFY (Gasping for breath) How did you know?
PATRICK I saw Cornetto's tracker, I know where you have been. I found her body in her room.
ALFFY Tracker?
PATRICK Not important. The point is I knew.
ALFFY It was an accident, I swear.
Patrick thinks this over for a second. Does he believe him?
PATRICK Swear on this.
Patrick pulls the scalpel from Alffy's blooded crotch and drives it into his left eye socket. Alffy again SCREAMS in agony, blood turning the corridor bright crimson. Alffy lets out a dying GASP and falls to the floor in a heap.
PATRICK That was for Sandra, you murdering little bastard.
Patrick wipes his bloody hands on Alffy's shirt. He gives Alffy a firm kick. No response.
PATRICK Right, now for that drink.
INT. CORRIDOR
Cornetto, still naked, rounds the corridor and finds Yohn on the ground in front of him, the stake sticking out from his chest.
CORNETTO Jesus Christ!
He kneels down next to Yohn, and for a second stares at the fake moustache that sits upside down on Yohn's face. Cornetto turns it the right way up before peeling back Yohn's jacket to inspect the damage.
The stake is buried deep in Yohn's tape recorder.
Yohn opens an eye.
YOHN I think it missed.
Cornetto slowly helps Yohn up to his feet.
CORNETTO What happened?
YOHN That bitch Orange, You know I think she thinks I am a vampire. Can you believe that?
Cornetto gives Yohn a strange look.
CORNETTO Here, Let me have the gun.
YOHN Not a chance, I need to find Ripley and quick. Before he kills someone else.
CORNETTO Ripley?
YOHN Yes. He is our murderer, but he has disappeared.
CORNETTO Give me the gun and I will let you use my tracker to find him. Deal?
YOHN Your tracker?
CORNETTO Yeah, my tracker. Everyone on board has a keyard on them, inside is an RFID chip. There are readers installed in every doorway on the ship. I know where everybody is at anyone time.
YOHN Get the fuck out of here!
CORNETTO I promise it's true.
YOHN So where is it?
Cornetto gestures towards the gun. Yohn reluctantly gives it up.
CORNETTO Murphy had it last, I think it is in the bar.
YOHN Come on then, what are we waiting for?
Yohn turns and heads towards the bar. Cornetto, butt naked and gun in hand follows.
INT. ANOTHER SECTION OF CORRIDOR
Bush makes his own way towards the bar, he stops suddenly. Laying on the floor in front of him is what looks like T. Joe.
T. JOE is fast asleep.
BUSH (shaking him) Wake up man, you can't sleep here.
T. JOE murmurs, Bush slaps him across the face. This wakes him up.
T. JOE FUCK OFF!!
Bush gives him a shove back to the floor, gets back to his feet and starts to walk away.
BUSH Screw you then buddy, I was only trying to help.
T. Joe climbs up to his feet.
T. JOE Hey, wait up, I am sorry. You just shocked me that's all.
BUSH What were you doing?
T. JOE I suffer from narcolepsy, sometimes I fall asleep anywhere and nobody sees me for days. It can be a real bitch sometimes.
Bush relaxed his stance, less aggressive, changes tone.
BUSH I bet, Jesus. Sorry man that does sound a bitch.
T. JOE Thanks, I am sorry for cursing at you.
BUSH Forget it. Hey I was just headed for the bar, you look like you could do with one yourself. You gonna join me?
T. JOE Sure, thanks. You know I think that might have been where I was headed anyway.
Both men laugh at this and march together, towards the bar.
It seems now that everybody is one their way to the bar.
Nearly everybody anyway....
INT. CABIN 402
Zadora is naked (again). So is Morgan's corpse. Blood is splattered everywhere, it looks like a strangely erotic and twisted feast has only just recently been completed.
She sits on the bed and stares at the door, she licks her ruby lips.
ZADORA Dana dear, where are you? I am waiting.....
The red light is on. The photos on the wall are covered in blood but Nic’s body is nowhere to be found.
The bursts open, Dana enters.
ORANGE Not here, for fuck sake.
She looks around the room and realizes the body isn’t where it should be.
ORANGE Better get out of here.
She tries to open the door, but it’s locked. She tries it several times, but with no result.
Orange starts screaming.
ORANGE Help… Help… Help
Nothing.
Orange walks around the room. She glances at the photos horrified. Dead kids, dead boys, dead girls. Everything is dead.
Orange spots something. The place where Nic had told her that is reserved for her, has a photo. Dana leans forward to check it.
ORANGE What the—
The photo shows Dana with a knife. She’s on her feet, lying down on the floor is Gabriel. He’s dead.
Dana slowly moves backwards, she tries to open the door but it’s still locked. No success.
Suddenly the door opens. Gabriel comes in.
GABRIEL Dana?
ORANGE Gab—
They look into each other’s eyes. Gabriel moves toward Dana.
GABRIEL I heard you screaming. What’s happening here?
Dana thinks it over before coming to a conclusion.
ORANGE Nothing. I just got locked here.
Gabriel walks around the room. The photos on the wall have his attention. He checks them out one by one.
GABRIEL My God – what a psycho.
Dana comes near Gabriel, she looks at the photo of her – but it has changed. Dana is shocked.
The photo depicts Nic in a black suit with a grey background. Nic keeps his hands behind. Dana moves around and she notices that the eyes of photo move as she does. She moves again, the eyes do the same.
Gabriel doesn’t witness at the scene. He is searching inside the drawers. Nic’s camera is there.
GABRIEL Look what I found here.
Dana walks near him, but the eyes of Nic on the photo won’t stop following her. She doesn’t respond to Gabriel and comes near the photo to analyze it better.
Nic looks small in the photo but he looks so alive. Dana stares at him blankly with AM-I-DREAMING? Look on her face.
Nic winks at her.
Dana screams.
Gabriel turns in her direction.
GABRIEL What is it?
No word comes out of Dana’s mouth. Gabriel watches her then follows Dana’s sight.
GABRIEL’S POV
The photo doesn’t show Nic, but Dana and Gabriel at the altar putting each other’s the ring.
Gabriel smiles at himself, he eventually likes what the photo shows.
GABRIEL When did he do this?
Pause.
GABRIEL I mean how he did it.
DANA’S POV
Nic is in the photo smiling at Dana.
ORANGE I don’t know. Let’s get out of here please.
Gabriel screams like a girl. Dana looks at him for the first time.
GABRIEL What’s he doing there?
ORANGE Who?
GABRIEL (pointing at the photo) Nic.
GABRIEL’S POV
The photo is the same as before, Gabriel and Dana putting the rings. Behind them is Nic dressed like a priest.
Gabriel grabs the photo and searches for his lighter. He takes out of his pocket and burns the photo.
GABRIEL Did you see that? How the fuck did get in there?
Dana shakes her not knowing anything.
GABRIEL Let’s get out this room.
Gabriel and Dana move to the door, Gabriel tries to open it but it’s locked. He uses all his force but the just won’t open. Gabriel gets angry; he goes around smashing things, throwing the photos down from their place.
Dana watches him without opening her mouth. She’s afraid to talk to him.
LATER Dana and Gabriel look at each other in silence. Dana rests on the right corner of the room while Gabriel on the left corner.
The photos that Nic has made spread on the floor.
GABRIEL Did you see the photo?
Dana nods.
GABRIEL I wish that day comes soon.
Dana stares at him, not sure of what he’s saying.
ORANGE What do you mean?
GABRIEL I mean the day – we get married.
Dana is surprised.
ORANGE Married?
GABRIEL Yes.
ORANGE But Gabriel I’m already married.
GABRIEL What?
ORANGE I’m married.
GABRIEL You never told me – you were married.
ORANGE (pissed) Why should I have to tell you?
Silence. Dana and Gabriel observe each other from the corner.
GABRIEL Who’s your husband?
Dana doesn’t answer at his question. She grabs Nic’s camera and analyzes it.
GABRIEL Leave the fucking camera and tell me who your husband is.
Obviously Dana doesn’t want to answer to that question. She puts the eye into the viewfinder of the camera.
CAMERA POV
The room is in black and white. The wide lens of the camera deforms the corners of the frame. Dana moves the view to Gabriel who looks angrier than before.
GABRIEL Put that camera down. Dana? Answer me.
Without taking her eye from the viewfinder Dana responds –
ORANGE It doesn’t matter who he is.
GABRIEL Yes it does.
ORANGE Gabriel please. You’re talking no sense. I’m not going to marry you for God’s sake.
Gabriel is in frame; Dana puts the focus on his face.
ORANGE C’mon smile for the camera.
GABRIEL FUCK OFF—
He shows his middle finger at her. Dana presses the button – BAM
A bullet crosses Gabriel’s head, dead. He is in the same position as before, from the hole in his head blood starts coming out.
He falls down.
Dana screams.
She smashes the camera and goes to the door and this time the door opens. She goes out and closes the door behind her.
INT. CORRIDOR
VOICE (O.S) Here she is.
Footsteps coming toward Dana. She notices it. Looks at the person coming toward her, screaming she tries to open the door of Nic’s cabin but it’s closed.
Yohn and Cornetto make their way towards the bar. Yohn has given Cornetto his pants, which are several sizes too small.
YOHN (Singing) Cornetto, and Yohn! The crime busters of the seeeea! Cornetto, and Yohn! They’ll solve any mys-te-ry!
CORNETTO Quit it!
YOHN C’mon… it’s our theme song!
CORNETTO This is serious you ass clown! My ship is running wild with murderers, vampires, and who knows what else.
YOHN Ghosts.
CORNETTO Ghosts?
YOHN Some woman in the elevator, she gave me this broken nose, and then ran away.
CORNETTO Must’ve been your charm!
YOHN Ha ha… anyway, I go back to my room and next thing I know, this chick is astral projecting all over my shizz and I bust a leak in my pants!
Cornetto looks down at Yohn’s pants, which he now wears.
CORNETTO That explains the stain…
YOHN She mumbled something about some fabric… probably wanted a dress or something, you know women!
CORNETTO I’ve docked my vessel in many a port lad, so yes I do know women, many women. You on the other hand, look like you’ve never even set sail!
Yohn takes great offence.
YOHN What?! Hey listen here tubbo, this is the 80’s and I’m down with the ladies, ya dig!
CORNETTO It’s 2008… though your moustache does look like something from the 80’s now that you mention it.
YOHN It’s a figure of speech. This moustache is fake anyhow, all part of my expertly crafted disguise to infiltrate your ship and apprehend Ripley. Just like Magnum P.I.
CORNETTO Columbo more like!
YOHN You my friend just lost a chance to be my sidekick. You could’ve been like that old English guy, who was like Magnum’s annoying friend, but didn’t really do a lot, ‘cept drink tea and complain… yeah, that could’ve been you, mister! You just missed out on a lot of tea drinking!
CORNETTO Oh boo-hoo! Put a sock in it will ya.
YOHN (Under breath) Note to self, take Cornetto out of theme song.
CORNETTO What?!
YOHN What?
Cornetto frowns and keeps moving.
YOHN (Under breath) Do do, doo doo! Do-do do do do-do doo!
Cornetto looks at Yohn with a murderous iglare.
INT. CABIN 402
Dana opens her blurry eyes. She looks around and realises she is tied to a bed.
ORANGE Another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into Dana!
ZADORA (O.S.) They say talking to one self is the first sign of madness.
Dana turns to her left, where Zadora now stands over her.
ORANGE Untie me and let’s fight like -- (Thinks for a moment) women!
Zadora laughs.
ZADORA Quite a different feeling to be the prey instead of the hunter isn’t it, Dana dearest.
ORANGE Wait till I get out of these ropes, then I’ll show you who’s the prey you daylight-dodging b*tch!
ZADORA You know I’ve quite enjoyed our little cat and mouse game over the years, but I’m afraid it’s just not working for me anymore… I think we should we should see other people…
ORANGE What?!
ZADORA It’s not you, it’s me, so please don’t beat yourself up about it.
ORANGE Joke all you want, the fact is I’ve killed many of your kind, and you’re nothing special… even if you do prance around in the nude more than any other vamp I’ve come across. …Nice gluts by the way!
ZADORA Let me ask you something Dana. What do you hate more than anything in the world?
ORANGE Copa-frickin-cobana! Vampires a distant second.
ZADORA Well seeing as I left my Barry Manilow CD in my other cloak, I’ll have to settle for just turning you into a vampire!
Zadora reveals her fangs and clamps them down on Dana’s neck. Dana screams as Zadora drains her blood.
She stops her blood sucking, not wanting to drain Dana completely. She holds out her wrist, then with the fingernails on her other hand, makes a small cut across the veins. Blood drips from the cut into Dana’s open mouth.
Dana tries to spit the blood out, but Zadora places her hand over her mouth and nose, forcing her to swallow.
The fight in Dana’s eyes fade as Zadora’s blood flows through her system, taking her over from the inside. Her body suddenly convulses violently, and then just as suddenly stops.
No heart beat, no pulse, no life, dead.
Zadora watches intently with a sinister smile across her face.
Dana’s eyes reopen, now the same color as Zadora’s. She sits up calmly.
ZADORA Welcome to the other side Dana. How do you feel?
Dana touches her face, and notices her fangs.
ORANGE …Thirsty!
Zadora smiles.
ZADORA Then let’s go and find someone to satisfy that thirst.
Zadora claps her hands. From the doorway of the bathroom emerges a fully naked and blood-soaked vampire Morgan.
ZADORA Say hello to your new sister Morgan. We’re a family now, an unholy trinity, and no one will stop us!
Zadora laughs manically.
INT. BAR
Cornetto and Yohn enter into the bar area. No one else is around.
YOHN What?! This tracker device you gave me is faulty. Ripley isn’t here!
CORNETTO I know dipshit, that’s because it’s a device that only tracks alcohol; and it’s a good thing too because I am far too sober to think straight right now. What say we wet our whistles eh!
Cornetto helps himself to a bottle of vodka.
Yohn notices something.
YOHN I hear voices, coming this way.
Cornetto hears the voices too.
YOHN Duck and cover my sidekick!
The unlikely duo duck behind the bar.
From the west corridor enters T.Joe and Bush.
T.JOE -- And that’s why I can never go back to Memphis!
Bush laughs heartily.
BUSH Great story T Dawg!
T.JOE It’s T.Joe actually.
BUSH Don’t kill my buzz T.Dawg.
Cornetto hears Bush’s voice and is overcome with rage. He dives over the bar and pounces on Bush, tackling him to the floor.
CORNETTO Die you mother f*cker!
He bashes Bush’s head repeatedly into the floor.
T.Joe is shocked, but tries to help Bush by pulling Cornetto off.
T.JOE Cap’n, get off him man, what the hell?!
Yohn stands up.
YOHN Time to shine Yohnson!
Yohn springs into action and dives over the bar, with the intention of tackling T.Joe -- but he misses and instead dives straight past him and into the side of a table, knocking himself out.
Bush grabs hold of a bottle and busts it over Cornetto’s head, knocking him off.
He grabs T.Joe and uses him as a hostage, holding the broken bottle to his throat to scare off Cornetto.
BUSH You and your pantless boyfriend keep the f*ck away from me Cornetto!
Cornetto sits himself upright. He bleeds from the blow to his head.
CORNETTO You killed the only woman that ever truly loved me; the mother of my children; the woman who was my only chance at redemption… brother, you are going down!
Bush threatens T.Joe with the broken bottle.
T.JOE Whoa there mon Capitan! This guy means business!
Cornetto slyly tries to go for Yohn’s gun which he has behind his back.
BUSH Don’t even think about it! Throw the piece over here.
T.Joe winks at Cornetto. Cornetto takes this as a signal and nods.
He throws the gun to Bush, but purposely throws it wide, making Bush lean out to catch it. As he leans out, T.Joe elbows him in the gut, causing him to keel over.
T.Joe grabs the gun and aims it at Bush.
T.JOE Drop the bottle ass wipe!
Cornetto struggles to his feet.
CORNETTO Don’t hesitate just shoot the f*cker!
Bush creeps forward.
T.JOE Don’t make me shoot!
BUSH You don’t have the cajones!
CORNETTO Shooooot!
T.Joe takes aim and is about to shoot when --
SLAM!
T.JOE Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
T.Joe has fallen asleep on the floor. Snoring like a walrus.
CORNETTO Shit!
Cornetto and Bush both look at the gun on the floor beside T.Joe.
Cornetto takes the biggest flying leap you've ever seen- grabs the gun and points at Bush:
Cornetto I win!
But suddenly he FALLS THROUGH the floor.
To:
INT. TANK DECK- ENGINE ROOM 104
Lying in a heap of plasma, he watches, secretly, inquisitive:
Gabriel in this dark forbidden place: an old soul, with eyes even more ancient than Zadora’s.
He’s cloaked in purple and gold vestments so fine you might swear he's a living tapestry- despite his many deaths.
He stares- his black scarf flaps in a strange wind that swirls around him snake-like- like the caduceus he holds, pulsating with life and he points it at the dream engine:
No ordinary engine- a galaxy swirls as a great magical veil in a cerulean blue that labors to birth color and form. Its serpentine coils twine eternal.
Nebulous dream phantoms of the cast enter and exit this cosmic concoction hidden inside the depths of the ship.
GABRIEL I, Gabriel, who knows the eternal game of life and death...
He pulls the caduceus back as a telephone to his ear.
BANK TELLER VOICE Please enter your 13 digit access card number now.
Gabriel scrunches his nose, then raises his eyebrows- gives a compliant shrug and tap-tap-tap... on the caduceus.
BANK TELLER VOICE For account enquiries, bill payments transfers and other day-to-day banking, press 1, (WTF look).. for credit- including new applications and mortgage renewals press 2...
GABRIEL What the hell?
He unscrews the top and it squirts him in the eye.
GABRIEL I gotta get a new one of these.
He reattaches it- enters proudly into The Eternal!
After the swirling veil:
We stand with him upon a great cliff so high! An acrophobiac’s nightmare: To leap-
GABRIEL Oh Gooooood!!!!
Down down... To:
INT. (NIC'S) THE ROOM
GABRIEL- FALLING- into one of the pictures next to NIC: HANGING over a cliff face.
Nic, the priest's HANDS ARE FROZEN AROUND A ROPE.
After Gabriel falls into the picture next to him, also clinging for dear life/death:
GABRIEL How’s it hangin’ Nic?
NIC Well, at least I made the jump, but damn I hate this fall shit. I don’t know how Lucifer does it?
GABRIEL Kind of like Chris Angel on steroids- Karma’s bad ass I know... but there’s a bright side- I met with The Elders and there be rumors flying we might get reinstated to play A side again.
NIC I really do need a break from killing. What’s the catch?
GABRIEL Well, the dream generator’s been whacked out with nightmares because Bert’s been messing with the natural order of things in his experiments.
NIC But he’s dead.
GABRIEL Well we are too, but I don’t see him hangin’ out in limbo here, do you?
NIC Come to think of it...
GABRIEL And all the shit that’s happening on the ship again... Ghosts and clones and Vampires.
NIC Can only mean one thing.
GABRIEL He’s inside it.
NIC But wait, we’re inside it.
GABRIEL We’ve fallen. He’s figured out a way to- (floating fingers)
NIC Crawl? Spiderman?
Gabriel blows.
GABRIEL Rise, you corkscrew!
NIC (illuminated) Ahhh! Like ascend. (flaps hands like wings) Bert an angel? You gotta be purified, you gotta experience things- shit like we go through.
GABRIEL Somehow, he’s broken some kind of God code. Sandra opened the dream generator and Bert must have high-jacked the code.
NIC But I thought Bert was on our side?
GABRIEL Haven’t you figured it out yet? A side- B side- We play the side the Elders tell us to play. Maybe that’s what Bert’s figured out.
Nic looks like he’s trying to solve a calculus equation.
GABRIEL If good and bad are right and left, then I think in the middle, you might find the God code.
NIC Bert wants to meet God!!! Man! I’ve been wanting to meet with the Big Boss for ages!
GABRIEL Wait, where the hell is Sandra?
HOLY CATHOLIC DAVINCI CODE MUSIC PLAYS
O.S. Sandra Up here!
NIC What the hell are you doing up there?!
O.S. SANDRA Bush showed me some of his old Olympic videos- had the compulsion to ski down this sucker. I really hate heights and jumping off all these cliffs really makes me queasy.
GABRIEL Shh... Someone’s coming.
NIC Don’t worry, I’ve turned the visuals off. The only one that can see us is the audience.
Nic and Gabriel wave at us.
INT. (NIC’S) THE ROOM Like before, horrific pictures sweeten the walls with the deadly side of reality. The room steams with the same gruesome red light as before.
"A" Cornetto fidgets with something in his pocket.
He pulls it out: a package of WOODEN SWEDISH MATCHES- a fiery picture reminiscent of Dante’s “The Inferno” on its face.
He strikes one up and lights a candle on a small table.
The candle illuminates the area, golden- revealing:
Nic himself, captured photographically:
Nic alive, smiling- full of vice and vigor.
Nic dead, headless, shot to shit.
Cornetto’s face is cold, dark, but then, a sympathy washes over him. His eyes gain a glossy wetness as tears enter the surface of his world.
Alas, a ticking sound, clock-like.
Cornetto turns. It’s on Nic’s bed. THE STAR BOOK: Black with intricate spidery webs spinning like wheels on its surface.
As Cornetto approaches, the ticking sound amplifies and becomes grating- saw-like nasty voices.
Cornetto grabs at his ears. He collapses down to the ground; we fall with him, crashing, loud and painfully until the sound STOPS, abruptly.
A lucid dreaming moment: in some kind of black sea and then:
Cornetto’s form lies limp. He twitches, conscious again.
Above him stands Nic’s ethereal form.
NIC Now you know what it’s like to hear the voices.
CORNETTO Now I know I should've went to law school.
He lunges over to the STAR BOOK, silent now.
CORNETTO Do I dare open it?
But first, he kneels at Nic’s bedside, like a child, praying “Now I lay me down...”
CORNETTO Why is this happening? A broken soul smashed to hell!
FLASH BACK - REGRESSION THERAPY ROOM - OFF MED CENTER
Uber eerie Voodo masks plaster the walls.
Cornetto seizes up, frightfully ROARING like a lion.
Bert stands over him.
BERT Who’s responsible for the Romero disaster? His name!
Dana stands alone, facing a basketball hoop. Her eyes are combed over in darkness and her breathing is heavy. She just stands there in silence, staring out into nothing. Suddenly she comes to and looks around, the brown fading back into her eyes. She looks around scared and confused.
ORANGE Wha-what? How...
The door to the gymnasium opens and in comes PATRICK.
PATRICK Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I just saw the lights were on and-
She turns around to him, still confused about how she got into the gymnasium. Patrick notices the look on her face.
PATRICK you okay?
ORANGE I- I don't remember how I got here.
Patrick chuckles. He approaches her.
PATRICK Don't feel bad, it is a rather large boat. I've gotten lost once or twice tonight.
Orange nods.
ORANGE Yeah...
PATRICK That wasn't what you meant was it?
She shakes her head and laughs.
ORANGE Not even close.
Patrick stops directly in front of her and looks into her eyes. He reaches out and caresses her face.
PATRICK Has anyone told you how beautiful you are lately?
ORANGE Two people in fact.
PATRICK Oh? and where are they now?
Orange doesnt answer. Patrick looks at her oddly and shifts uncomfortably on his feet.
PATRICK Maybe you can tell me about it over a drink?
Orange reaches into her jacket for...She pauses. She looks down and then turns to look around the gymnasium.
ORANGE Have you seen my jacket?
Patrick looks around and then turns back to Orange.
PATRICK When was the last place you saw it?
ORANGE I don't remember.
PATRICK It's been one of THOSE nights, huh? Well, what about that drink? Of course, not saying that alcohol can fix everything, but-
Patrick turns his head towards the door, revealing his neck. Orange eyes it as almost an instinct. Patrick's voice begins to fade out slowly and all she can hear is the sound of his heart beating and his blood flowing through his veins.
She looks back up at him to see he is looking away, still talking. She looks back to his neck, the giant vein beneath his skin seems to pulsate, calling and tempting her. Dana blacks out, quite literally, as her eyes roll back into her head momentarily only to come back dark as the night.
PATRICK'S POV
Patrick stares at the gymnasium doors.
PATRICK But yeah, we better get out of here soon and get back to the crowd. Weird things are happening on this boat. Weird things in-
He turns to Dana to see her eyes are completely black and fangs have protruded from her mouth. His eyes go wide and his hearts stops momentarily She hisses at him and SPRINGS onto his neck, sinking her fangs into his jugular.
He lets out a blood curdling scream as he slowly is pushed to the ground with Dana's inhuman strength as she sucks every drop of blood from his body.
CAMERA POV
When she is done, she POPS her fangs out from his neck, sending his body completely collapsing to the floor. She stands there for a moment, staring down at his body before, without any warning, she BOLTS towards the gymnasium doors and SLAMS into them. They swing open and she exits, leaving Patrick's Blood drained corpse on the gymnasium floor.
INT. CABIN 402 Zadora paces in her cabin. She smells the air and turns to the door to see shadows passing beneath it. A wicked smile comes to her face as she heads for the door. She steps on something.
She looks down to see Dana's olive jacket almost hidden beneath the bed as if it accidently had fallen. She leans down and picks it up. She sniffs it. A white piece of paper on the side of the jacket catches her eyes and she opens the jacket up.
She reaches into the inside pocket of the jacket and pulls out a small polaroid photo. She looks at it and her eyes widen. There, on the photo, is an image of Zadora looking much more...alive.
She is smiling with her arm around a young girl around the age of seven. The young girl is wearing the olive jacket that looks a little to big for her and she is also smiling as wide as she can.
Zadora looks confused. She goes to put the picture back when she notices a small white tag inside the hidden pocket. There, in hand sewn black thread, is the name Zadora. Zadora drops the jacket and moves away from it.
ZADORA No...
In one full sweep, memories buried long ago by the lust for blood come rushing back to Zadora.
INT. CELLAR-NIGHT
Zadora sits holding onto a young Dana Orange, known then as Johanna, in the cellar of their house. Two puncture wounds are visible on her neck, oozing with blood. Dana is crying and Zadora's eyes are planted on the stairway leading up to the first floor. Ghastly screams can be heard as well as shuffeling and loud, ungodly hisses. Dana turns to Zadora.
DANA Mommy, what's going on?
ZADORA (whispering) Shh, they'll hear us.
A loud THUD is heard on the floor until all is silent. Zadora turns to Dana and smiles.
ZADORA (whispering) Mommy will be right back okay? I'm just going to make sure daddy is okay.
Zadora takes off her jacket and wraps it around Dana.
ZADORA (CONTINUED) You stay here and don't come up until mommy says it is okay, alright?
Dana nods. Zadora kisses her on the forehead and stands up.
ZADORA Mommy loves you.
Zadora slowly climbs the steps towards the first floor door. A bright light shines from beneath it. She stares down past the stairwell to see Dana's scared brown eyes staring back up at her. She continues up the steps until she can't see Dana anymore then turns to the door. She turns the doorknob and the door opens wide into a bright shining light.
INT. BAR
DANA'S POV
Ste shines a light into Dana's open eyes. Bush and Yohn stand over her.
BUSH'S POV
She looks at them suspiciously.
ORANGE This isn't going to turn into one of those lifetime movie specials is it?
DANA'S POV
Bush turns to Yohn.
YOHN Don't look at me like that, you're the one that moved.
BUSH Let's just help her up okay?
CAMERA'S POV
Bush and Yohn help Dana up onto her feet. She rubs her head. Orange turns to Yohn.
ORANGE You're not dead...
YOHN And you owe me a tape recorder.
ORANGE What happened?
STE (O.C.) You charged bush from behind...
They all turn to Ste, who sits behind them at the bar, sipping on whiskey. Yohn chuckles.
YOHN That's what she said.
STE (continuing) He moved out of the way before you got to him and you nearly fell into that hole.
DANA What hole?
Bush moves out of Dana's direct line of sight and points to the big hole in the floor.
BUSH That hole.
Dana peeps down into the hole to see Cornetto rolling around on the floor with his eyes closed.
ORANGE what is he doing down there?
BUSH Beats me.
YOHN Looks like he's tripping on acid.
Orange rubs her head and walks over to the bar to have a seat. Ste looks at her.
STE You okay?
ORANGE Yeah, I just...I just keep blacking out.
STE Yeah? What's the last thing you remember.
Orange thinks.
ORANGE You and I were heading for the bar
Ste nods.
STE Weird.
Ste notices the marks on her neck that are starting to turn purple and bruise He tilts his head curiously.
STE Looks like you got bit.
ORANGE what?
Orange takes a metallic ash try from nearby and holds it up like a mirror. She looks at the bites and her eyes go wide. She pauses momentarily before she angrily SLAMS the ash try down onto the bar with a force so great that it leaves a dent in the now permanantly warped wood of the bar. Bush, Yohn and Ste all look at her oddly.
BUSH This is way too fucked up! What the Hell is going on?
Orange glares back at him, her eyes changing color to obsidian black. She stands up, wobbles away from the bar like a puppet on a string. Her movements are strained…and odd.
All eyes follow her.
STE This ain’t good mates.
Ste stands up, a nervous look in his eyes. Yohn’s also at full attention as he backs away from Orange. T Joe is still fast asleep on the floor.
BUSH I don’t know what’s going on here or who to trust, but I do know one thing…
STE Yeah? What’s that, mate?
BUSH The only fucking vampires I like hangin’ with are dead fucking vampires!
Orange lashes out at Bush, fangs bared. He moves quickly, avoids Orange’s clumsy charge. He grabs the flattened ashtray off the bar, and in one spinning motion, slices Orange’s throat wide open. Deep red blood shoots out like a geyser, as she falls backward.
Yohn covers his face and spins around.
YOHN Holy fuck!
Ste’s eyes go wide, as he drops his glass in shock.
Bush’s knee goes out again and he falls backward, against the bar.
The blood geyser hits Yohn in the back. It quickly vaporizes his shirt and burns into his skin. He shrieks in pain, pulling at what’s left of his tattered shirt.
Bush rights himself, grabs the bottle of Wild Turkey and douses Yohn’s back.
STE No! Not my last bottle of Turkey!
BUSH What did I tell you about drinking that shit? Don’t worry, when this is over, I’ll make you the best martini you’ve ever tasted. Trust me, it’s time for a change my friend…come over to the light!
T Joe stands up…stretches…looks around.
T JOE What the…
BUSH T Dawg! Glad you joined us, brother. We need you. Quick, get Yohn’s clothes off and throw him into the pool. Be fast, man!
Ste seems frozen in place, staring down at Orange’s convulsing body in a pool of bubbling blood.
STE What abut her? Is she…dead?
BUSH I doubt it; don’t we need to ram a stake through her heart or something?
They both look around the room for anything that might do the job. T Joe strips off Yohn’s clothes and helps him up.
A faint ray of sunlight peeks in through the wall to ceiling glass. Bush’s eyes light up.
BUSH Ste, let’s get her outside in the sunlight, and dump her blood sucking ass in the ocean. C’mon.
Ste comes out from behind the bar…slowly…eyes on Orange.
STE I don’t want that acid-shit on me, mate. No fucking way…it’ll eat right through us.
BUSH Yeah…you’re right. Let’s take off our clothes and we can kinda wrap up her neck for protection.
Ste looks uneasy.
STE Huh?
Bush strips off his clothes, wraps them around Orange’s neck and abdomen.
BUSH Jesus Christ, man, no time to be bashful. Let’s go. She could come to any second. Get ‘em off and around her.
T Joe leaves with Yohn in tow, as Ste begins taking off his clothes.
Bush stands up, butt naked. Ste’s eyes drop down to Bush’s crotch.
STE Damn…you Yanks really pack a wallop, huh?
BUSH Don’t even tell me you’re…
STE No, no…definitely not…just kind of…hard…not to notice, mate.
BUSH Well, truth be told, I froze my nads in the avalanche that killed my ex-wife…and needed some reconstructive surgery. So I figured, why not go big? Ya know?
STE I see…
Bush and Ste, both buck naked and magnificent, carry Orange out of the bar area, toward the exit.
EXT. DECK
With a heave, they throw Orange overboard, into the strangely still water below.
She hits and slowly disappears from sight.
BUSH C’mon, let’s get up to the upper deck and see if Yohn’s OK.
STE I’ll tell you what, mate, in my wildest fucking dreams, I never thought I’d be running around butt naked with a martini sippin’ Yank on this cruise. What a time to run out of Wild Turkey…
EXT. OCEAN
Ripples form on the water as Orange sinks out of sight. The still water starts to churn, and a dorsal fin, followed by a massive crescent shaped tail break the surface.
The water bubbles and foams, turning crimson in the early morning light.
EXT. UPPER DECK – JACUZZI AREA
Yohn and T Joe, both sit in the Jacuzzi, butt-ass naked.
T JOE How ya doin’ Yohn? Are you gonna make it?
Yohn has a pained look on his face.
YOHN Yeah, I think I’m OK. I owe you, man. You’re a life saver alright.
Bush and Ste (still magnificently naked)) approach from the stairway. They both seem strangely at ease.
T JOE Everything go OK guys? Is she dead?
STE I sure hope so. We tossed her ass overboard.
BUSH You two look comfortable. Mind if we join you? How’s Yohn doing?
Ste looks unsure.
STE Speak for yourself, mate. No sausage fests for me, thank you. We gotta figure out where everyone else is, and get some help.
YOHN I’m OK guys. My back’s a bit hot, but I think I’ll make it.
Bush’s eyes go wide. He grabs Ste and jumps back.
BUSH Look out! Get out of the pool…
T Joe turns to see a fifteen foot Mako shark jump clear out of the water. It lands on the deck, a few feet from the Jacuzzi. Its bloody maw filled with wicked dagger-like teeth doesn’t look quite right…something is wrong. Its front teeth are wildly elongated, and the mouth itself is much bigger than it should be, almost resembling the impossible grin of a rotting Jack O Lantern.
T JOE What the…
T Joe jumps from the pool, landing in a pile on the decking. He scrambles to right himself and get away.
Yohn isn’t as quick to react. The vampire shark lunges, using its great tail to propel it forward, teeth gnashing together so furiously, sparks actually fly out. A human arm is expelled in a torrent of blood. It hits Yohn in the head and knocks him down.
Yohn makes a last ditch effort to get away, but slips. The massive shark lunges forward again and grabs Yohn’s head.
CRUNCH! SPLAT!
He’s decapitated in a single bite…blood sprays out like a broken water hydrant, soaking the other three, as they distance themselves from the grisly scene of carnage.
STE And now we have a vampire shark to deal with? Are you fucking kidding me? No more cruises for me, mates!
A loud SCREAM! Bush awakes to see Ste butt naked, two hands covering his front.
STE I'm naked!
Bush notcies he's naked as well.
STE (O.S.) What type of trip is this!? I just wanted to drink and play cards!
Looking to the side, Bush finds the reason.
Zadora sits calmly in a chair, naked.
ZADORA We all came into this world nude. So might as well perish the same way. You killed my daughter. Normally, I will make you eat your own testicales for that,
STE Ahh!
BUSH (getting to a fighting stance) Try it!
ZADORA But I was unaware of my relationship with her. Nevertheless, knowing that knowledge made me realize something: it's not that bad having a family. I want to share my experience with someone.
BUSH You're crazy if you think...
ZADORA Quite on the contrary, one of you will be making out of this fight alive and that person I'm going to retrieve a specimen sample from.
BUSH You don't frighten me.
Zadora holds out T. Joe's severed head.
STE Crap!
BUSH He was narcoleptic. That's nothing!
He moves closer to her.
BUSH Ste.
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Ste and Bush groan as they lay amidst piles of empty liquor bottles. Thankfully, white guest towels are now wrapped around their waists.
Ste staggers to his feet. Bottles clink as he sways, looking for balance.
BUSH Where the hell you going?
Ste nods to the Men’s room across the bar.
STE I got a serious code yellow I need to handle.
Bush nods knowingly.
BUSH Ah...got to free Willy, eh?
Ste chuckles as he stumbles forward. He calls back to Bush over his shoulder.
STE Yeah. Got to shake the dew off the ol'...AIEE!
And the besotted Ste steps right into empty air -- as he plunges through the gaping hole in the center of the Saloon floor -- dropping into the Engine Room below.
Bush rushes to the edge. Looks down.
BUSH Hey! You alright?
INT. ENGINE ROOM
Ste staggers to his feet, shaky from the fall.
STE Aye. Nasty tumble, though, mate. Got a right crack on me head.
Still addle-brained, Ste steps over to the mammoth, glowing collection of steel piping and crystal pillars that stand before him like a Byzantine temple -- THE ENGINE -- the pulsating heart of the SS Craven.
STE Weirdest damn urinal I've ever seen.
He burps. Then loosens his towel and begins to relieve himself.
BUSH (O.S.) Hey, Ste! Are you sure that is such a good idea?
As Ste's stream falls upon the engine a tremendous SHOWER OF SPARKS burst forth, followed by the loud WHOOP of an ALARM SIREN and brilliant FLASHING LIGHTS.
Ste begins to tremble as electricity courses through his body. Smoke shoots from his ears. His entire body begins to blacken and char.
Finally, his eyes burst from his skull as he collapses into a crispy, smoldering heap.
INT. SALOON
Bush is aghast. He pulls back from the hole and salutes his fallen comrade.
BUSH Hell of a piss...
He then takes in his own situation -- panicked -- as SMOKE pours from the engine room and distant EXPLOSIONS rock the ship.
BUSH Hmm...I think it's about time for ol' Bushie-boy to exit...stage left!
Bush races for the deck. But then he pauses.
He runs back to the bar and grabs a few bottles of Jägermeister. THEN he runs back to the deck.
But he stops dead in his tracks as he finds that the swirling pyramid -- now GIANT SIZE -- blocks his path.
BUSH You know, I wondered what happened to that thing.
Sandra's voice again emanates from the spinning device.
SANDRA'S VOICE Test concluded. Acquisition sequence begins now. Prepare for uptake!
BUSH Well, that doesn't sound good.
Bush races off in the opposite direction.
EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT
The clouds above the SS Craven begin to roil and swirl -- then they part -- as a MAMMOTH ALIEN SPACESHIP descends from the heavens.
EXT. DECK
Bush bursts onto the deck, buffeted by EXPLOSIONS and assailed by the incessant WAILING of the alarm.
And he is suddenly YANKED INTO THE SKY!
And all that remains is his towel, which flutters softly onto the deck.
EXT. NIGHT SKY
Bush screams as he finds himself trapped in a milky, white tractor beam -- pulled inexorably skyward -- towards a dark opening in the belly of the ship.
INT. ALIEN SHIP
Bush is unceremoniously plopped naked into the sterile confines of a cold metal room.
He stands shivering, and is startled by an ALIEN VOICE that booms from unseen speakers.
ALIEN VOICE (O.S.) The test is concluded. As the sole survivor of the SS Craven, you, Jeff Bush, have been deemed the most fit. And the most worthy.
Bush sucks in his tummy and thrusts out his chest.
BUSH That's me, baby.
A steel door slides open -- and Bush shrinks as a HORRID ALIEN slithers inside.
The alien is a six-foot mound of slimy tentacles that pulsate and glisten. Some of the tentacles are purple, some are green. Broccoli-shaped tumors sprout from random locations.
It speaks through a metal voice box attached to what must be its mouth -- but it looks more like a bubbling bowl of brown porridge.
ALIEN We have been observing your planet for some time. The testing aboard the SS Craven was our final observation, and as the fittest of your species, you have been chosen to accompany us on our fifty-year journey home!
BUSH Fifty years!? What the heck do you need me for?
ALIEN Sexual contact is strictly forbidden amongst our crew. For 100 years we have suffered chaste. But our scans have revealed that your orifices are deemed a suitable surrogate to satisfy all of our alien desires.
The alien begins waving its tentacles wildly.
ALIEN This is a time of great celebration for our kind!
EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT
With a ROAR of powerful engines, the alien ship rises into the night sky -- as the last of the burning wreckage of the SS Craven slowly sinks into the inky black waters of the ocean.
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Author
S.S. Craven – Killer Game
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