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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Shiva - Discussion Part 1 Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Shiva - Discussion Part 1  (currently 7092 views)
mcornetto
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
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Nicely done Julio and Sandra,

A slightly revealing look at Leona during the dream.  And the three caballeros finally get together.  What's waiting for them at the next stop?

And what's going to happen for the Detroit crew?  Only Ripley can answer that and he's up next.

EDIT: Tracksheet is updated.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
mcornetto  -  December 23rd, 2008, 6:55pm
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Mr.Ripley
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 6:45pm Report to Moderator
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Everyone's dead by me. lol. Joke. I got my work cut out for me.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Orange
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 7:12pm Report to Moderator
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*shakes fist at Ripley* You better not lol. Good work guys, and as usual Lurvely dream sequence Sandra.
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MBCgirl
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 10:59pm Report to Moderator
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Some things are better left to the imagination!

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Hmmm...very good posts...but not sure how I like that the main "Right and Wrong" of this story has become the dreams...I do love the dream sequences.

I do have a problem with the insinuation that Samantha is now a liar and that is her character flaw...not what I believed for her character...as she works from "sight" to help others.  

Oh well...what can I say

Great job Julio and Sandra.


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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mcornetto
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 11:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MBCgirl
Hmmm...very good posts...but not sure how I like that the main "Right and Wrong" of this story has become the dreams...I do love the dream sequences.


I would suggest, and this is only truly a suggestion because the dreams are Sandra's domain, that the dreams concentrate more on reasons to meet Shiva rather than examine characters and try to explain the story.  This is simply because the story is the domain of everyone else.

Cheers and Merry Christmas all.
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MBCgirl
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 11:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mcornetto


I would suggest, and this is only truly a suggestion because the dreams are Sandra's domain, that the dreams concentrate more on reasons to meet Shiva rather than examine characters and try to explain the story.  This is simply because the story is the domain of everyone else.

Cheers and Merry Christmas all.


I whole heartedly agree.  No worries though...I'm busy doing holiday baking...the flour on my face hides my wounded spirit


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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Dreamscale
Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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Merry Christmas everyone!!  May God bless us all on this very special time of the year.

I have to agree with MBC, cause I didn't see her character as a liar in any way shape or form.  But..this is truly  something that we all chime in on, and each input is what it is, and we all have the ability to shape each and evey character.

Nice job you guys!  This is truly cool shit!!!!
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 24th, 2008, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from MBCgirl
Hmmm...very good posts...but not sure how I like that the main "Right and Wrong" of this story has become the dreams...I do love the dream sequences.

I do have a problem with the insinuation that Samantha is now a liar and that is her character flaw...not what I believed for her character...as she works from "sight" to help others.  

Oh well...what can I say

Great job Julio and Sandra.


I'm trying to do character work, but nothing is written in stone. I wasn't painting Samantha as a liar, but as a protector.

Consider:

If you were given the choice to tell someone they are going to meet with some horrible fate, would you tell them? Would Samantha tell them?

It's a point of Samantha's character.

If she would tell them, then we need to adjust the scene to reflect that.

To me, it's all about character and shifting things as we move along. It's the work.

Any input is greatly appreciated and I'll be happy to change the dreams to suit your feelings.

Because we're all going in cold, it's hard because we're working from our perspectives and we often don't have a clear feeling until after the fact.

This is an excellent point though. Would she? Wouldn't she? It's such a good point that a whole scene could be developed on this premise alone and it would be fantastic to watch.

This is why it's so exciting working together. Everyone brings something different to the table.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 24th, 2008, 12:40am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Merry Christmas everyone!!  May God bless us all on this very special time of the year.

I have to agree with MBC, cause I didn't see her character as a liar in any way shape or form.  But..this is truly  something that we all chime in on, and each input is what it is, and we all have the ability to shape each and evey character.

Nice job you guys!  This is truly cool shit!!!!


What we do with this is entirely up to us, but what I'm realizing with Jeff's post here is that:

"I didn't see her character as a liar in any way shape or form"

is an excellent driving force to a revealing dream scene like this if it were pursued.

The "Dirty Little Secrets" theme is being played out here. The point is to delve into the characters and what makes them tick.

To discover the "bad side" of good characters makes for excellent storytelling. It's real.

The work we are faced with is defining the "true" dirty little secrets appropriate to a character.

When we know what they are, then we can edit and use subtexting from the very beginning.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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MBCgirl
Posted: December 24th, 2008, 2:24am Report to Moderator
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Hey Sandra - I go to someone for a yearly reading...(I know I'm a weirdo-lol) My experience is that it is confirmation of what is going on in my life...things I probably know...or guidance if you will.  I don't base my life around it, but I have had some very "insightful, right on" readings...most times they are of a positive nature...especially after my mother died.  (She passed on Christmas Eve...way to go mom...the woman LOVED CHristmas!)

If "She" as in Samantha were to "see" some impending danger...would she share it...and if she doesn't...then I don't consider it a lie.  If it is for protection sake of that individual to withhold information...then I don't think that falls into the "dirty little secret" category as you suggest...or a lie.  

I believe you are "leading" the story as to its outcome...(like a very fine lawyer would do a strategic witness I might add ...portraying SHIVA as a GOD...do we believe in it or not...that is a good question and since the story is still being written...the jury is still out on that.    

I thought this was supposed to play out in character development with each individual...it may be that Samantha will now need to reconcile her feelings Question her motives in helping others by what she sees.  I'm down with that for sure...and I believe she will...as she carries something deep inside of her that shakes her foundation...something she fears on a personal level. I've thought about "her" a lot.

Anyway, that's my two cents for the night *wink

You know I love your writing Sandra and I hail you as a magical, wonderful writer who writes imagery significant to us all.

Blessings...it's almost Christmas and I do LOVE this time of year!!

I'm not irrated...just want to share my feelings since we are all contributors to this exciting new tale.  How we respond to this being and it's call is the story...good, bad or indifferent.


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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Mr.Ripley
Posted: December 24th, 2008, 10:53pm Report to Moderator
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Merry Christmas crew. I'm not making guarantees but I'm going to see if I can have my work posted by tomorrow. I'm editing at the moment, but I still need to send the work to Julio to give his opinion on the revision. A little Christmas present to you all. And it's going to be a shocker especially for tomorrow.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Mr.Ripley
Posted: December 25th, 2008, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
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Hope you guys enjoy it. This was difficult. lol. especially for today. But all in the name of fun and practice.

I wanted to give a purpose to why Michael hates this god, show how he responds to other people (and vice versa), and show his gift. I think I accomplished that. The scene that started this whole thing was the last one. I liked writing that one. lol. For me it's scary. lol.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Dreamscale
Posted: December 25th, 2008, 4:03pm Report to Moderator
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A nice, unexpected Christmas gift, indeed.  Good job!
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 25th, 2008, 4:53pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from MBCgirl


If "She" as in Samantha were to "see" some impending danger...would she share it...and if she doesn't...then I don't consider it a lie.  If it is for protection sake of that individual to withhold information...then I don't think that falls into the "dirty little secret" category as you suggest...or a lie.  

I thought this was supposed to play out in character development with each individual...it may be that Samantha will now need to reconcile her feelings Question her motives in helping others by what she sees.  I'm down with that for sure...and I believe she will...as she carries something deep inside of her that shakes her foundation...something she fears on a personal level. I've thought about "her" a lot.



Me too. I've been thinking a lot about her character and some of the other ones too-- probably too much.

The idea of the secrets came from working with Dana and I thought, "Everyone has things they are not proud of." This is where I began relating the idea of Shiva's premise to the characters themselves.

As individuals, these characters are going to determine whether they hate Shiva and hold vengeance or are more neutral. In the respect that they judge Shiva, they might also be judging others that cause them grief in any way.

When I was asked to work on Shiva, I wanted to bring Shiva down to earth. I didn't want to just be writing an impersonal monster or God, however one might expect. I wanted it real and because I was compelled by Julio's character, Cordelia, she seemed the perfect choice to express Shiva through besides the multi-armed depiction that we hold.

I've done research and Shiva is much more complicated than our Western society typically understands. Because of this, I wanted to do Shiva more justice. I wanted to do the characters more justice.

It seemed the perfect route to go after working with Dana and finding out Leona's secret. By exposing the characters as real people neither sinner or saint, I figured the movie stands a greater chance of being successful as both a supernatural thriller type, with action elements, romance and with a psychological appeal.

I'll sign off on this post now and respond to Gabriel's post.

Again, Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

Sandra






A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: December 25th, 2008, 5:13pm Report to Moderator
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Well done Gabe.  I liked how you used the red leashed dog again and sort of gave him character status.  

Tracksheet is updated.  I have Jayrex's post in my inbox and I just have to give it a squizz and edit.  Then I will post it.

Cheers,

Michael
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