wow, good addition Mr. Ripley. Can't say much else to that than just wow. I do agree with Sandra though, the internal dialogue you created for Michael's character is an intriguing thing. It makes one wonder about his character and what he is capable of, especially considering the dog flashback. good good.

Thanks guys. I was frightened in how you guys were going to take it. But, all is well. I want to explain a couple of things people mentioned.

I don't see Sandra's post about Michael's internal dialogue but I was reluctant to do it. What changed my mind was actually Sk's book. He creates characters that have this inner voice which for me brings them to life. In addition, the fact that my character feels alone, he needs to communicate with someone. I guess it was the right decision.

The dog thing was itmightbeorange's scene at the end. Thanks, itmightbeorange. She introduced the dog so I wanted to complete it especially give some sort of explanation on why the dog didn't kill the characters at that moment on the boat but instead help them sail off.

As always, I leave the interpretations for my crew mates and the readers to figure out. lol.

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Thanks guys. I was frightened in how you guys were going to take it. But, all is well. I want to explain a couple of things people mentioned. I don't see Sandra's post about Michael's internal dialogue but I was reluctant to do it. What changed my mind was actually Sk's book. He creates characters that have this inner voice which for me brings them to life. In addition, the fact that my character feels alone, he needs to communicate with someone. I guess it was the right decision. The dog thing was itmightbeorange's scene at the end. Thanks, itmightbeorange. She introduced the dog so I wanted to complete it especially give some sort of explanation on why the dog didn't kill the characters at that moment on the boat but instead help them sail off. As always, I leave the interpretations for my crew mates and the readers to figure out. lol. Gabe

Gabriel, I just checked, and for some reason, my post regarding your scene has disappeared.

Suffice it to say that I loved your work with Michael's character. I keep thinking, that perhaps he might snap. The dialogue: "Always the other guy." is excellent.

Gee wiz. I guess I should start backing up my posts too. But that would get too long for comments.

Anyways, I remember I also commented on how you provided more work with Dana's red leashed dog and that's really good. Also, the fact that nature is fighting back with the dogs is a good flash back scene showing some of what's been going on.

Also, the father's verse at the end resonates with me because it's one of my favorites.

Thank so much Gabriel!!

Sandra

Thanks, Sandra. But credit should also go to you guys and gals since none of this would have happened without your input.

I liked that verse to. I'm curious on how ste would take it.

Nonetheless, I find it good that improving on these scenes. Now, all I have to do is apply it to my scripts. lol.

Sandra, I could be off here, but I think the reason your post disappeared was because you posted it in the game thread instead of the discussion thread.

Ok. I posted Jayrex's entry for him.   Well, it's got a bit of me in it too - I hope he doesn't mind the changes I made.  And I hope you all enjoy it.


Will update the tracksheet soon.


And yes Sandra, your post was deleted because it was in the game thread.

EDIT: Tracksheet is updated.

Quoted from Orange Sandra, I could be off here, but I think the reason your post disappeared was because you posted it in the game thread instead of the discussion thread.

Thanks Dana! That's exactly what must have happened. I've done that before and then fixed it.

I often work with several tabs open in my browser. I've been checking in a bit, but mostly I've been away for Christmas.

Mystery solved!

Sandra

I enjoyed the work with Eddy's character straight off. He's still got that smoke thing going on.

The fact that Eddy has a supernatural connection going on with his utterances is excellent. To complicate things, the wolves are attacking and Samantha is trying desperately to deal with Eddy in the back seat.

The addition of the serpent in this adds an exotic and fantastic element that I think is much needed because yes, we've seen dogs and hippos and rabid squirrels, but nothing so gigantic as a sea monster.

The only trouble I had with this really is that I feel Samantha's character is off.

When she says:

SAMANTHA
And what are we going to do with “the prophet” here?  I think we should dump him.

It sounds completely out of character.

She's A VISIONARY. Why would she comment like this?

This could be explained however. Colin already did something he didn't seem capable of; so why not Samantha? Is the dark side infiltrating and becoming pronounced?

If this is the case, then I think it's excellent and if the characters become aware of it themselves, then they'll need to figure out how to truly take control of their egoistic instincts.

The conflict in this scene is amazing!!! I'd love to see more of this.

Sandra

Merry Christmas to all   Hope everyone has had a fantastic day   

Ripley...really liked your post and throw in my agreement at how you developed the dog with the red leash and gave it more meaning to the story.  I like Michael's character and how alone he feels in the world at present...and his "blow the house up" scene would have me on the edge of my seat at the theater.

Quoted from Ripley The dog thing was itmightbeorange's scene at the end. Thanks, itmightbeorange. She introduced the dog so I wanted to complete it especially give some sort of explanation on why the dog didn't kill the characters at that moment on the boat but instead help them sail off.

Just one question about the above statement...Maybe I'm wrong...but I believe the dog with the red leash died when it landed in the boat???  Correct?

Cornetto/Jayrex
Sorry to be such a pest...but when I left Eddy and the other three at the end of my post, I implied that Eddy had his own rig and was stocking up...that's why he stopped at the Outdoor Outfitters...he wouldn't do that if he was walking.  Also Albert made sure he was set up with a CB...so I was a bit confused that he walked off looking for a car with keys in it...



  

Quoted from MBCgirl I implied that Eddy had his own rig and was stocking up...that's why he stopped at the Outdoor Outfitters...he wouldn't do that if he was walking.  Also Albert made sure he was set up with a CB...so I was a bit confused that he walked off looking for a car with keys in it...

Perhaps you didn't imply it enough for jayrex to pick up on it?  This is basically jayrex's post - besides some cosmetic changes my editing of it changed the ending because his ending was a bit much (like "an eye in the sky" a bit much).

  

Cornetto you're awesome!


I just went back to figure out how to put Ripley's Statement in quotes and when I came back his quote was already fixed   lol  You work FAST dude!

I think it's implied enough...but I suppose there will be disconnects from time to time.   

I do believe when we follow the last sequenced post in our tribe...we should work from that post so that the story connects.  I felt like my post was long so I didn't labor too much with information about Eddy's Rig.   ext time I will be more clear.

Sorry.

No need to be sorry.  This kind of stuff is going to happen.  It's not like it's a huge disconnect and would be easily fixed in another draft.  

Quoted from mcornetto No need to be sorry.  This kind of stuff is going to happen.  It's not like it's a huge disconnect and would be easily fixed in another draft.

And also, sometimes mistakes or missing links can be instrumental in the development of new ideas.

Sandra

I personally don't like the serpent thing.  It's too "out there" and I feel the tone we had going has been lost.  But that's how these things go...no single person is in control and as Sandra said, sometimes that opens doors that wouldn't otherwise be opened to us.

Looking forward to seeing which direction we'll be heading.

Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Christmas!!!!