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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Shiva - Discussion Part 1 Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Shiva - Discussion Part 1  (currently 7085 views)
Pard
Posted: December 14th, 2008, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks mcornetto, and I'm really sorry about any inconvienice guys.
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jayrex
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 3:37pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Hi Sandra & Dreamscale,

Great work.

I don't know how you do it Sandra but your dreams are cool.  I hazard a guess at what my attempt of a dream would look like.

Dreamscale, excellent work on my character, and excellent posts.  I can only hope to carry the baton just as well.

I'm definitely looking up to you guys.

Michael, any ideas how long this game is going to run for?

wow.


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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 3:53pm Report to Moderator
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I'm guessing the game continues until there is only one survivor and he/she confronts Shiva.
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mcornetto
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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I think the original estimate for this game is going to be stretched.  We are looking for more quality of story this time, so I'm inclined to be a bit lenient on the time limits and size limits.  I can tell you right now, it might seem like an easy task to write these short little scenes with  story in mind but it's definitely a challenge, harder than the Killer game was.  So I can totally relate to people having a difficult time.  

But you never know how fast these things will go.  Last time we played after a slowish start things speeded up phenomenally.    

The thing to do here is that if you know you aren't going to be able to make your turn because of your schedule then please let us know as soon as possible.  

In Yohn's case we had invested so much time in waiting for Yohn's scene that even if I scheduled another person it would take just as long to get the scene posted.  Not to say that it wasn't appreciated that Yohn came forward about his delay.  He has a tough scene, I can relate.

As far as the holidays go, I will try to accommodate your schedule as best as I can.   If you're not going to be around for a while then let me know and I will try to schedule your turns appropriately.

Cheers
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Pard
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 7:56pm Report to Moderator
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My scene is up.

I'm really sorry for the dely everyone.  Hope it satisfies.
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mcornetto
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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That was good Yohn.  I thought the action was well written and I really like how the characters are shaping up.

Orange is up next, she already has the details. I won't be able to update the tracksheet or send out emails until I get home from work.  
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 9:16pm Report to Moderator
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Really nicely done Yohn! Don't worry about the delay. This truly is a challenge, but I know that we all have good intentions here and hopefully we will be able to work to the best of our ability.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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George Willson
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 9:37pm Report to Moderator
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This is definitely an action flick. We're setting the bar rather high from the get go, it seems, with a quick character scene followed by an action sequence. I'll bet the actual deaths are going to be a trip.


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Dreamscale
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:05pm Report to Moderator
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Yohn and everyone else - PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY...OK?

Question - Why is there a wild boar, a snow leopard, and a white rhino in NYC?  Where in the world did they come from?  This is merely a question I would ask if I was reading this script from scratch or if I was watching it a a theater.

As far as I knew, this disease just hit...people are just now starting to die out.  In my scene, which appears to be a "continuous" scene, just a different locale, 2 days earlier, TV, cell phone, and E-mail were still working,..electricity is still flowing.  LIfe was going on like it always did, only people were dying from this disease.  Now, it seems like exotic animals from Africa and Asia are running wild in the streets of NYC.

Why are cars everywhere, blocking the streets?  If people just died while they were driving, they'd still be in their cars, as well as keys.  And if cars are indeed blocking the streets, how in the world could anyone get through the Lincoln Tunnel, of all places.  NYC is a frickin' nutcase place as it is, in terms of driving.  Youc an barely get through city streets on a normal day at 2:00 in the morning.

If these are escaped animals from the zoo, how did they get out?

I honestly don't want to be critical and bitchy, but I'm always a stickler for details, and this just kinda hit me like, WTF?

I do like that you wrote some good action and it is interesting, so kudos for that.

If I shouldn't be questioning anything and just saying "Great job!" whether or not I mean it, I apologize, but I feel that I have to ask these quesitons.

Also, Michael, can we get the instructions that each person gets, after their post is up, so we know what they had to work with, and maybe why they went where they did?  I think that would be really interesting and enlightening as well.

Again, I mean no ill will with these comments, Yohn.  Cool?
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:11pm Report to Moderator
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My first thought was the zoo. These animals are rabid. They'd have killed their jailors and broken out.

Anyway, I got the impression that the outbreak has been around for a while now when I read Mcornetto's scene. If anything, it was your scene that cofused me a little bit.

You seem to be placing the cause of all the death on the virus slowly killing humans, but I figure the animals to be the cause of all the crashed cars and stuff.

But still, you would think the rate of infection would be different in Ottawa or Detroit  than it is in New York.

--Julio
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:23pm Report to Moderator
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Aditionally, look at our characters and their stories--the rest of the outbreak's victims all had stories too, and God knows most of them were crazy enough that Rhinos ended up on the streets of NY. Maybe some idiot hippy busted them out of the zoo--whatever. The point of this is Shiva and our characters, NOT why the world is the way it is.

This is essentially a role-playing game. If you were stuck in this post-apocalyptic world, you would not be wondering why the hell there are leopards in the streets, you would be trying to stay alive.
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Dreamscale
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:24pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, I guess that's the only answer.  I just wanted to get a little insight from the actual writer...somehting that we don't get to do all that often.

Again, this is just the way I am, so I hope no one is offended or PO'd.

Personally, I don't see how these zoo animals would be breaking out, as zoos (especially a zoo (or zoos) in NYC) are pretty well put together to keep animals in.

Guess I'm just being a bit critical tonight.  My Fantasy Football team just got eliminated with the loss of Heiden and McNabb's INT...I'm a bit upset, so again, my aplogies fro bringing it in here...
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:29pm Report to Moderator
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I do not think anybody is offended because of your post.

You brought up some interesting questions (I for one was ready to write a dog-attack scene considering how they're the most common animals in New York--truth be told, I was a bit surprised when I read all these scenes with exotic animals).

But seeing as how this is a collaborative effort, we are supposed to cover the story bit by bit. This thing isn't over yet. No questions have been answered. I say, give it time.
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Dreamscale
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:39pm Report to Moderator
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That's cool.

I actually looked up all the wild life in and around Ottawa.  I also looked up the locale I used as my setting and because it was not a remote locale, I decided against using anything like bears, etc.

You're right...anything goes.  I am an inquisitive type though, so I felt like I had to ask.

Looking good so far everyone.  I'm onboard and will do my best not be a complete A-Hole.
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Shelton
Posted: December 15th, 2008, 10:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReaperCreeper

(I for one was ready to write a dog-attack scene considering how they're the most common animals in New York--truth be told


Nope...it's rats


Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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