I really liked how this scene wasn't as action-heavy as most of the previous ones. And the inclusion of the snakes was pretty sweet, too.

I don't know about the others, but personally, I enjoyed how you handled my character (Cordelia) even though she had no dialogue.

My only complaint (no offense meant, obviously) is that I expected Heide to be a little more spunky than she was here, perhaps even a little bitchy. At least, that's how I pictured her when reading her bio.

Plus, I don't think Innocence would scream at the sight of snakes. She's too bad-ass for that But then again, a fear of snakes might add more layers to her character.

I really don't want to kill anyone now. Most of the characters are too developed by this point. Killing them seems like a waste but we'll all have to do it sooner or later.

And at last, we meet Shiva (or Dream Shiva at least)!

Good job everybody.

--Julio

Quoted from ReaperCreeper I really liked how this scene wasn't as action-heavy as most of the previous ones. And the inclusion of the snakes was pretty sweet, too. ... I really don't want to kill anyone now. Most of the characters are too developed by this point. Killing them seems like a waste but we'll all have to do it sooner or later. And at last, we meet Shiva (or Dream Shiva at least)! Good job everybody. --Julio --Julio

"
Me too. I don't want to kill anyone either. I think that Albert's kill was brilliant because he had a reason to want to die and so it was bittersweet. I wonder if we could generate this same bitter sweetness in the coming deaths.

I was wary about how soon to reveal more of Shiva-- for Shiva to disclose: "I am!" (In the game at least. It was the right time.)

I think Dana did an excellent job with Heidi's character and as I told her, I don't give false praise, (although I am very optimistic on a variety of points of view) however, the comic edge that she's bringing with the Bruce/Heidi relationship makes the dark elements even darker; so that's excellent.

I didn't see Heidi as bitchy, but as fiesty and very strong willed. And when she declares, "I swear!" In the dream, her willfulness is laid out plain.

Heidi is a force and hopefully, this is clear here. If not, we need to fix it.

Additionally, Bruce has become an extremely interesting character-- at least in our minds. But it just goes to show you how different people grab hold of different elements.

I honestly don't think we could have done much better, except with more time and experience-- we're moving on with more of that each day; so it's all good.

It seems we're coming close to a scene involving all the tribes together-- one where they're making discernments-- taking sides: For Shiva, against Shiva. And who the hell is Circe?

Are the snakes producing an antidote for the virus? Is their venom an antidote?

If that's the case and a person was bit and lived, then they'd have the antibodies and the "strength of overcoming the obstacle" -- a wisdom of sorts, and they'd be survivors in the greatest sense of the word.

Sandra

Tracksheet is updated.

Quoted from mcornetto I would like for the snakes to be eating the dogs and other rabid animals (making the snakes larger and larger) and I would like for there to be a notifiable absence of dogs. I would like to see the occasional mysterious truck heading toward Niagara Falls from all directions.   If we at least make mention of those few of things we should be able to bring this to a close with a story that makes sense.   Michael

I think I messed with the snakes vs. dogs element in the dream.

I opened it up some saying:

At first it looks like the snakes are after the dogs, but then they're running as a pack.

What can this possibly mean?

Perhaps that neither snake nor dog is bad in the sense we were thinking? If "they're" both on the same side, then what side are we on?

Hence: Both Sides Now.

So, um, yeah, I think my scene's a tad long...

What was the character count again? Maybe I can trim a little...

You can go a little longer this game.  We relaxed the rules on that matter.  But try not to be longer than a post and a half.

Cheers

Hm, a post and a half... We'll see what happens. I sent it to Sandra for dreaming and  Orange for proofing, so I might have the pre-dream sequence up as early as tomorrow but we'll see.

Georgio...just post it!    I think it's right around 7500.  

I want to make a couple comments on the post...Good job everyone!  I do have a few things to add so I'll get to it.

First off...I'm having a hard time with Cordelia being treated as if she were 6 or 7.  She's had a rough go in life and much of that makes her interesting...but she is 13 and I believe she would want to make decisions and not be led around.  Just my perspective of 13 year olds.   I do understand that she has never felt like she belonged, etc.  so this explains the relationship she has with Innocense, but I still feel that she would be feeling a little grown up having been through what she has in life.  

It was mentioned in an earlier post that it seemed Heidi's character would have more attitude based on her description and introduction to us.  I agree with that...I think that actually she is very much used to getting her way and doesn't really care who gets in her way...she'll just mow them down and step over.  I think if Bruce weren't doing all the looting...she would be and that's why it worked when she gave him a little "shit" about it originally when he found her in the car.

Overall - I think it's great, the dream and the post...we are heading in a good direction...but I do think we all need to work diligently on character development using the tools provided in the initial descriptions and introductions and involvement so far.

Morgan

Quoted from MBCgirl First off...I'm having a hard time with Cordelia being treated as if she were 6 or 7.  She's had a rough go in life and much of that makes her interesting...but she is 13 and I believe she would want to make decisions and not be led around.  Just my perspective of 13 year olds.   I do understand that she has never felt like she belonged, etc.  so this explains the relationship she has with Innocense, but I still feel that she would be feeling a little grown up having been through what she has in life.   It was mentioned in an earlier post that it seemed Heidi's character would have more attitude based on her description and introduction to us.  I agree with that...I think that actually she is very much used to getting her way and doesn't really care who gets in her way...she'll just mow them down and step over.  I think if Bruce weren't doing all the looting...she would be and that's why it worked when she gave him a little "shit" about it originally when he found her in the car. Overall - I think it's great, the dream and the post...we are heading in a good direction...but I do think we all need to work diligently on character development using the tools provided in the initial descriptions and introductions and involvement so far. Morgan

Morgan, it's good that you speak about this so these aspects can be discussed. First, I'll respond to the work with Heidi's character and her relationship with Bruce.

She's "pulling his chain" as Dana put so well. And from Dana's perspective, he's not just looting, but actually, he holds a fascination for the items of dead people. It's not just purely the fact that he might be grabbing something here or there.

Dana's taken his rummaging and made it really interesting. When "we" see him doing all this rummaging, and Heidi makes cracks about it, it is good writing and also provides relief from the serious elements.

Regarding Cordelia's character:

First off, I should say that Pia had problems in one of her script because people were saying the girl was "too mature" for her age. It might be a matter of clarifying that this is "indeed" how she wants it to be. Not an accident.

So here too, I think it needs to be clarified either way.

Here's my take on Cordelia:

She's definitely being portrayed in fact, as much younger. We know her age, but she's no ordinary girl. The fact that she retains the qualities of a child could be a significant element in creating interesting shots and working with her hair and make-up.

From the age of 11-13 an enormous amount of change is happening in any girl. How the girl responds to these changes will tell a lot about her. It feels to me that Cordelia walks a tightrope between childhood and her physical age. She either purposely or not uses her child-self to her advantage.

From Julio's intro:

She is now a shell of the girl she once was, mentally-unbalanced after her family's death. She is now deceptive and uses her soft-spoken and intelligent demeanor to hide her rage and anger.

She's clearly intelligent; so why would she have a problem getting the goodies that come when you're 13, but can pass for 11 with a little bit of work. Or, she's not trying to pass off anything, she just loves her child and won't give it up. Maybe she's determined not to grow up.

The fact she's getting led around is a good thing. She's been written up as quite silent, except for in the dreams and that's a good thing: We watch this little big girl and we can only wonder what's brewing under the surface.

I hope that at least sheds some light on my take on the matter.

Sandra

I completely understand what you are saying Sandra...and my thoughts are not written to fall negatively on the story...but she does have a rage she tries to keep hidden with her soft deameanor.  It's obvious we have not explored her various layers yet...except perhaps her high pitched scream.   

I would like to see her devloped more...she is tenacious, lonely, lost...but she is in a changed world where everyone has lost someone now...it's all she knows.  She's a great character with a lot of levels...I'd just like her to not be so passive.

~m~

Quoted from MBCgirl I completely understand what you are saying Sandra...and my thoughts are not written to fall negatively on the story...but she does have a rage she tries to keep hidden with her soft deameanor.  It's obvious we have not explored her various layers yet...except perhaps her high pitched scream.    I would like to see her devloped more...she is tenacious, lonely, lost...but she is in a changed world where everyone has lost someone now...it's all she knows.  She's a great character with a lot of levels...I'd just like her to not be so passive. ~m~

Thanks so much for this Morgon. I think we can use this because that's exactly how the audience would be feeling too.

I think they'd be waiting for her to actually say something outside of the dreams.

And this can be used to our advantage in the development aspects of the story.

We're all waiting for a change. Always and in everything. Of course it would be no different in the movies.

Your insight is really appreciated and I don't ever think your comments are negative, but quality thinking.

Sandra

I posted the dream sequence setup in my scene so Sandra can do the dream thing next. I'll post the meat of my sequence once hers is done.

Ok, we're close to done here. We'll post as soon as we finalize.

Sandra

George and I have decided we are going to reveal the next installment of Shiva at a very specific time tomorrow.

Consider Eastern Standard time when you think of it-- since we're talking Niagara Falls.

You'll find out its significance when it comes. The ooooh factor cometh.

Sandra

Ooooohhhhh!!!!!  Exciting!