Hey Guys,

Looks like it's questionable whether or not Blakkwolfe is going to take his turn.  Neither I nor Sandra have heard from him in the two days since he's been notified that it was his turn.  And since his turn is a dream turn, you would expect that Sandra would have heard from him by now.  The funny thing is that I heard from him after I gave him his heads up and told him to start writing and he said he was "on it".  But  I sent him an email yesterday checking on his status and still haven't gotten a response.  

So, the big question is do I wait until tomorrow and then make alternate plans or do I do that right now.  I'm voting for right now. Because this is the last turn of the round there is no one to switch his turn with.  As a matter of fact, the last three have been unswitchable because they were the last turn of the round for each tribe.  

Someone will have to take this turn for him.  Anyone volunteer?  I would do it myself (and may still end up doing it myself) but I did the last turn and I don't want to usurp the story.

Cheers,

Michael    

Whatever you decide Michael is good. We'll work with it.

Sandra

Who is Blakkwolf's character?

Quoted from Dreamscale Who is Blakkwolf's character?

Heidi.

Sandra

Hey everyone,

Orange is going to stand in for Blakkwolfe on this last turn of the round.  Thanks Orange!  Blakkwolfe has been emailed.  

Cheers,

Michael

Dang. I would have volunteered had I known about it sooner : (

Oh well.

I do think we should postpone the turns as originally planned though. Having people "play" others' characters goes against the point of the whole game IMO.

Maybe Blakkwolfe has already written his scene and just got caught up in something. Whatever. I don't think anyone should take anyone's turn. I don't think the characters are developed enough for that yet. We need to let their respective creators take their first steps into their shoes, specially if we're talking about Heidi seeing as she's just been introduced.

--Julio
  

IF we do postpone it, how long can we postpone? And will people be interested in the story after postponing? I think it should continue as is. It's all in good practice and fun. Besides, writing in a different characters shoes is a good training.

I would normally postpone the turn but it's tough at the end of round to do that because there isn't anyone to switch them with.  Since this is structured with them on their way to Niagara falls it becomes even more difficult because each of these locations sort of needs to be played out for things to flow.

We agreed in the beginning that there was a certain amount of time we had to contact the moderator, then post.  I know Blackwolfe did get in contact with Cornetto (as mentioned) but then nothing, so something must have come up.  

Cornetto is the Moderator and he keeps us moving forward, so of course, I would like Blackwolfe to write their scene, but without Cornetto hearing anything...the story must go on.

It's not an easy task to keep this flowing and on track, so MC's efforts are appreciated.

I think Orange has a good "feel" for Heidi's character, so I think she will do an excellent job!  

Well, for what it's worth, mine should be done on time when the time come for it. I've already done a quick treatment for it, and I hope you like my kill....

I'm out of the loop for the moment on what the time frame is for the end of the current turn.

I need to leave for Calgary and see my son off because he's heading back east for his posting at the Greenwood base; so I'll be gone for the rest of the day and I need to research this wild pick for the OWC.

I've never seen the movie; so I have to see it before I can do anything on it; so that cramps things for this turn.

I'll check in to see what's happening tomorrow.

Sandra

Which movie Sandra?

Just cleaned out the thread this morning the old stuff can be found at

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-collaborate/m-1228394559/

Also heard from Blakkwolfe today.  He was away with his family.  He said that he thinks Orange will do a stellar job but notes and this is important --

"that reptiles do not carry rabies...therefore that rattler could have been a good weapon as well as threat"

Quoted from mcornetto Which movie Sandra? Just cleaned out the thread this morning the old stuff can be found at http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-collaborate/m-1228394559/ Also heard from Blakkwolfe today.  He was away with his family.  He said that he thinks Orange will do a stellar job but notes and this is important -- "that reptiles do not carry rabies...therefore that rattler could have been a good weapon as well as threat"

I'm sorry Michael, I was again moving between tabs in my browser. Two simplyscripts and one for the OWC and I was referring to my watching Solent Green because it came up in that thread.

Sandra

So what kind of dream do you want to see next?

We've got sea monsters, cougars, animals escaped from the zoo, lots of dogs, a little goth girl with a scream repellent, and snakes.

We need lots of snakes in the coming dream.

How would you like to see it focused?

Sandra

You asking me?  Or everyone?  I don't mind if you are asking everyone.  I would like to hear what they say about them.  But I would like to see the dreams focus more on Shiva, maybe with some snake stuff because the second half of things seems to be going to the snakes.

In the next couple of real turns (not dreams) I would like to witness a snake devouring a dog.  And see mysterious trucks on the road that are filled with what looks like dead dogs.  I would like the absence of dogs to be noticed and I would like no more dog attacks.    

  

Quoted from mcornetto You asking me?  Or everyone?  I don't mind if you are asking everyone.  I would like to hear what they say about them.  But I would like to see the dreams focus more on Shiva, maybe with some snake stuff because the second half of things seems to be going to the snakes. In the next couple of real turns (not dreams) I would like to witness a snake devouring a dog.  And see mysterious trucks on the road that are filled with what looks like dead dogs.  I would like the absence of dogs to be noticed and I would like no more dog attacks.

I was asking everyone.

Sandra

Wow!  Looks like the reigns are coming in.  Sounds to me like Mr. Cornetto has some ideas here.

Cool with me.

As for the dreams...as I told Sandra in my dream scene, I absolutely loved teh original dream scene.  So dream-like, for lack of a better phrase.  I'd like to see them go back to this, with no or very little actual dialogue.  More visual, imagery-thick...and just downright cool!

Interesting to hear what others have to say...

I'll throw my thoughts into this...I LOVE Sandra's "dreamy" dreams...fractured with the imagery she is so good at writing... Things that don't really make any sense but DO seem to have some hidden meaning...something like when we have a dream where we think of it all day or for a couple of days...a dream that sticks with us.

Hm, no dog attacks. Are you reigning in all animal attacks or just dogs? Anything in particular you would like to see in regards to an attack? I'm gathering options for my kill. I have the general idea at this point, but I'm working to nail down the details.

What I mean is that the animal attacks got a bit old after the 10th or so.  So, what I would like to do is phase them out in the second round and have you guys put on your creative hats and do something different.  I would like for the second round to be more about snakes.  

I would like for the snakes to be eating the dogs and other rabid animals (making the snakes larger and larger) and I would like for there to be a notifiable absence of dogs. I would like to see the occasional mysterious truck heading toward Niagara Falls from all directions.   If we at least make mention of those few of things we should be able to bring this to a close with a story that makes sense.  

The trucks will come into play when we get to Niagara.  Once there we will meet a tribe called the Followers (though one of the reincarnated characters may be a Follower so we may meet them a bit sooner).  They have been clearing out the rabid animals and our interactions with them will predominate the last act.

I will tell you guys more about the Followers when we encounter them.   And anything you all would like to add to this would be appreciated.

Remember that if we take the next step with this game script then anyone who is interested can give it a rewrite.  We will pick the best of the rewrites.  But we won't be doing that with this script if we don't have a good main storyline going.  I'm trying to push us in that direction - it might but it isn't likely to happen without communication.

Cheers,

Michael  

Fascinating. You really have put a lot of thought into this, haven't you? Throwing in some of those subtleties (and even some of the overtness) should be fairly easy for what I had in mind for my part. I'm hoping it will actually fit a single post, though I fear I might break the one post rule. I promise it'll be interesting enough though.

Quoted from mcornetto What I mean is that the animal attacks got a bit old after the 10th or so.  So, what I would like to do is phase them out in the second round and have you guys put on your creative hats and do something different.  I would like for the second round to be more about snakes.

I agree with the dog attacks getting old.

I'm just waiting for Dana and then I'll begin with the dream.

Or do you think I should just write it now?

Sandra

Quoted from MBCgirl I'll throw my thoughts into this...I LOVE Sandra's "dreamy" dreams...fractured with the imagery she is so good at writing... Things that don't really make any sense but DO seem to have some hidden meaning...something like when we have a dream where we think of it all day or for a couple of days...a dream that sticks with us.

The trouble with my writing is that it often makes perfect sense to me, but I need to learn to make it more explicit for others.

Thanks MBC, I appreciate it. We're at a difficult point right now in the script. I think it's a critical point; so hopefully, the next few posts will force a lot of suspense and also be more revealing.

Sandra

Quoted from mcornetto I would like for the snakes to be eating the dogs and other rabid animals (making the snakes larger and larger)...

I think I have an idea.

Okay, Sandra and I are almost done with collaboration. Our posts should be up tomorrow, sometime.

Cool. Thanks for letting us know.  Looking forward to reading it.

Posted. I hope i didn't crap on anyone's character too badly.

I thought you did a great job with the characters Orange, and you too Sandra.

I'll update the tracksheet when I get home from work.

Thanks again Orange for taking this impromptu turn.  

George it up next, starting round 2, and he has to use his kill.  Matter of fact everyone is going to be using their kill in their next turn.  

Quoted from mcornetto I thought you did a great job with the characters Orange, and you too Sandra. I'll update the tracksheet when I get home from work. Thanks again Orange for taking this impromptu turn.   George it up next, starting round 2, and he has to use his kill.  Matter of fact everyone is going to be using their kill in their next turn.

The characters are growing on me. They feel like family and I hate to see anyone die. Ah well... two more shoots to look forward to.

Sandra

Nice one Orange, you did a great job.

I really liked how this scene wasn't as action-heavy as most of the previous ones. And the inclusion of the snakes was pretty sweet, too.

I don't know about the others, but personally, I enjoyed how you handled my character (Cordelia) even though she had no dialogue.

My only complaint (no offense meant, obviously) is that I expected Heide to be a little more spunky than she was here, perhaps even a little bitchy. At least, that's how I pictured her when reading her bio.

Plus, I don't think Innocence would scream at the sight of snakes. She's too bad-ass for that But then again, a fear of snakes might add more layers to her character.

I really don't want to kill anyone now. Most of the characters are too developed by this point. Killing them seems like a waste but we'll all have to do it sooner or later.

And at last, we meet Shiva (or Dream Shiva at least)!

Good job everybody.

--Julio

Quoted from ReaperCreeper I really liked how this scene wasn't as action-heavy as most of the previous ones. And the inclusion of the snakes was pretty sweet, too. ... I really don't want to kill anyone now. Most of the characters are too developed by this point. Killing them seems like a waste but we'll all have to do it sooner or later. And at last, we meet Shiva (or Dream Shiva at least)! Good job everybody. --Julio --Julio

"
Me too. I don't want to kill anyone either. I think that Albert's kill was brilliant because he had a reason to want to die and so it was bittersweet. I wonder if we could generate this same bitter sweetness in the coming deaths.

I was wary about how soon to reveal more of Shiva-- for Shiva to disclose: "I am!" (In the game at least. It was the right time.)

I think Dana did an excellent job with Heidi's character and as I told her, I don't give false praise, (although I am very optimistic on a variety of points of view) however, the comic edge that she's bringing with the Bruce/Heidi relationship makes the dark elements even darker; so that's excellent.

I didn't see Heidi as bitchy, but as fiesty and very strong willed. And when she declares, "I swear!" In the dream, her willfulness is laid out plain.

Heidi is a force and hopefully, this is clear here. If not, we need to fix it.

Additionally, Bruce has become an extremely interesting character-- at least in our minds. But it just goes to show you how different people grab hold of different elements.

I honestly don't think we could have done much better, except with more time and experience-- we're moving on with more of that each day; so it's all good.

It seems we're coming close to a scene involving all the tribes together-- one where they're making discernments-- taking sides: For Shiva, against Shiva. And who the hell is Circe?

Are the snakes producing an antidote for the virus? Is their venom an antidote?

If that's the case and a person was bit and lived, then they'd have the antibodies and the "strength of overcoming the obstacle" -- a wisdom of sorts, and they'd be survivors in the greatest sense of the word.

Sandra

Tracksheet is updated.

Quoted from mcornetto I would like for the snakes to be eating the dogs and other rabid animals (making the snakes larger and larger) and I would like for there to be a notifiable absence of dogs. I would like to see the occasional mysterious truck heading toward Niagara Falls from all directions.   If we at least make mention of those few of things we should be able to bring this to a close with a story that makes sense.   Michael

I think I messed with the snakes vs. dogs element in the dream.

I opened it up some saying:

At first it looks like the snakes are after the dogs, but then they're running as a pack.

What can this possibly mean?

Perhaps that neither snake nor dog is bad in the sense we were thinking? If "they're" both on the same side, then what side are we on?

Hence: Both Sides Now.

So, um, yeah, I think my scene's a tad long...

What was the character count again? Maybe I can trim a little...

You can go a little longer this game.  We relaxed the rules on that matter.  But try not to be longer than a post and a half.

Cheers

Hm, a post and a half... We'll see what happens. I sent it to Sandra for dreaming and  Orange for proofing, so I might have the pre-dream sequence up as early as tomorrow but we'll see.

Georgio...just post it!    I think it's right around 7500.  

I want to make a couple comments on the post...Good job everyone!  I do have a few things to add so I'll get to it.

First off...I'm having a hard time with Cordelia being treated as if she were 6 or 7.  She's had a rough go in life and much of that makes her interesting...but she is 13 and I believe she would want to make decisions and not be led around.  Just my perspective of 13 year olds.   I do understand that she has never felt like she belonged, etc.  so this explains the relationship she has with Innocense, but I still feel that she would be feeling a little grown up having been through what she has in life.  

It was mentioned in an earlier post that it seemed Heidi's character would have more attitude based on her description and introduction to us.  I agree with that...I think that actually she is very much used to getting her way and doesn't really care who gets in her way...she'll just mow them down and step over.  I think if Bruce weren't doing all the looting...she would be and that's why it worked when she gave him a little "shit" about it originally when he found her in the car.

Overall - I think it's great, the dream and the post...we are heading in a good direction...but I do think we all need to work diligently on character development using the tools provided in the initial descriptions and introductions and involvement so far.

Morgan

Quoted from MBCgirl First off...I'm having a hard time with Cordelia being treated as if she were 6 or 7.  She's had a rough go in life and much of that makes her interesting...but she is 13 and I believe she would want to make decisions and not be led around.  Just my perspective of 13 year olds.   I do understand that she has never felt like she belonged, etc.  so this explains the relationship she has with Innocense, but I still feel that she would be feeling a little grown up having been through what she has in life.   It was mentioned in an earlier post that it seemed Heidi's character would have more attitude based on her description and introduction to us.  I agree with that...I think that actually she is very much used to getting her way and doesn't really care who gets in her way...she'll just mow them down and step over.  I think if Bruce weren't doing all the looting...she would be and that's why it worked when she gave him a little "shit" about it originally when he found her in the car. Overall - I think it's great, the dream and the post...we are heading in a good direction...but I do think we all need to work diligently on character development using the tools provided in the initial descriptions and introductions and involvement so far. Morgan

Morgan, it's good that you speak about this so these aspects can be discussed. First, I'll respond to the work with Heidi's character and her relationship with Bruce.

She's "pulling his chain" as Dana put so well. And from Dana's perspective, he's not just looting, but actually, he holds a fascination for the items of dead people. It's not just purely the fact that he might be grabbing something here or there.

Dana's taken his rummaging and made it really interesting. When "we" see him doing all this rummaging, and Heidi makes cracks about it, it is good writing and also provides relief from the serious elements.

Regarding Cordelia's character:

First off, I should say that Pia had problems in one of her script because people were saying the girl was "too mature" for her age. It might be a matter of clarifying that this is "indeed" how she wants it to be. Not an accident.

So here too, I think it needs to be clarified either way.

Here's my take on Cordelia:

She's definitely being portrayed in fact, as much younger. We know her age, but she's no ordinary girl. The fact that she retains the qualities of a child could be a significant element in creating interesting shots and working with her hair and make-up.

From the age of 11-13 an enormous amount of change is happening in any girl. How the girl responds to these changes will tell a lot about her. It feels to me that Cordelia walks a tightrope between childhood and her physical age. She either purposely or not uses her child-self to her advantage.

From Julio's intro:

She is now a shell of the girl she once was, mentally-unbalanced after her family's death. She is now deceptive and uses her soft-spoken and intelligent demeanor to hide her rage and anger.

She's clearly intelligent; so why would she have a problem getting the goodies that come when you're 13, but can pass for 11 with a little bit of work. Or, she's not trying to pass off anything, she just loves her child and won't give it up. Maybe she's determined not to grow up.

The fact she's getting led around is a good thing. She's been written up as quite silent, except for in the dreams and that's a good thing: We watch this little big girl and we can only wonder what's brewing under the surface.

I hope that at least sheds some light on my take on the matter.

Sandra

I completely understand what you are saying Sandra...and my thoughts are not written to fall negatively on the story...but she does have a rage she tries to keep hidden with her soft deameanor.  It's obvious we have not explored her various layers yet...except perhaps her high pitched scream.   

I would like to see her devloped more...she is tenacious, lonely, lost...but she is in a changed world where everyone has lost someone now...it's all she knows.  She's a great character with a lot of levels...I'd just like her to not be so passive.

~m~

Quoted from MBCgirl I completely understand what you are saying Sandra...and my thoughts are not written to fall negatively on the story...but she does have a rage she tries to keep hidden with her soft deameanor.  It's obvious we have not explored her various layers yet...except perhaps her high pitched scream.    I would like to see her devloped more...she is tenacious, lonely, lost...but she is in a changed world where everyone has lost someone now...it's all she knows.  She's a great character with a lot of levels...I'd just like her to not be so passive. ~m~

Thanks so much for this Morgon. I think we can use this because that's exactly how the audience would be feeling too.

I think they'd be waiting for her to actually say something outside of the dreams.

And this can be used to our advantage in the development aspects of the story.

We're all waiting for a change. Always and in everything. Of course it would be no different in the movies.

Your insight is really appreciated and I don't ever think your comments are negative, but quality thinking.

Sandra

I posted the dream sequence setup in my scene so Sandra can do the dream thing next. I'll post the meat of my sequence once hers is done.

Ok, we're close to done here. We'll post as soon as we finalize.

Sandra

George and I have decided we are going to reveal the next installment of Shiva at a very specific time tomorrow.

Consider Eastern Standard time when you think of it-- since we're talking Niagara Falls.

You'll find out its significance when it comes. The ooooh factor cometh.

Sandra

Ooooohhhhh!!!!!  Exciting!

And it's all up. Hope you enjoy my little twist.

I absolutely loved your scene George and I'm glad you didn't cut it down.

James is a fascinating character and I really enjoyed working with the dream. I tried to make it seem muted and create a scene depicting his coldness and calculations.

He wanted more power and was driven to get the big time weaponry, I think their was a definite reason for that, not just the "just in case" reason he supplied on the surface.

He was serious and he meant business. It's not everyday one gets to look in a mirror like that, and whatever James saw, it led him straight to some serious action.

More to mention later, but I've got some work to do.

Sandra

Nicely done you two. I thought that was exciting to read.  And George decided to off his own character.  RIP James.  

But actually that was kind of smart on George's part because he knew he would get another chance at life.  He gets to reincarnate - the last one to get to do that.  So send me your new character George.

One other thing though, I always thought EMPs did electronic damage but not structural damage.

Dreamscale is up next and I'm sure he's already fretting about how he's going to use his kill.

I just woke up so I might not be all that coherent, so after my mind wakes up more I'll update the tracksheet.

A pure EMP blast only affects electronics, but there are pulse weapons at least rumored to be in development (and one rumored used in Iraq to devastating effect, but little stock can be put in that, to be honest, except to reference it to make up a future weapon in a story like this) that have the effect that James stated. Basically the way it works is that the pulse is so concentrated that it can physically impact its target causing a rather significant explosion, but as opposed to a bullet or bomb, it's a pulse.

And yeah, I'd been thinking about my next character. I knew. I've got something clever cooking.

haha! I had also thought about killing my own character at least once when the game started. But you beat me to it. Bummer.

It was a nice litle scene (well, more like the largest one in the entire game.LOL). But could please, PLEASE confirm to me who James wanted to kill? I have my suspicions but I'm itching to know. x0

It can't be Shiva. Shiva is an "it", not a "she". But then you did refer to it as an "it" so I'm confused.

And I don't think the snakes would've been that hard to outrun, not hard enough to warrant a character sacrifice anyway :/

Good job regardless.


--Julio

Different characters' viewpoints on the same thing. Michael, in my opinion anyway, considers Shiva a female where Leona is more uncertain and only calls Shiva it. But yes, James was taking actions against Shiva "just in case."

Regular snakes would be easy to outrun, but these aren't regular snakes. These critters are manufactured and can do whatever their master says. If that means move at an unnatural speed, then so be it. And James would have been able to outrun them if he had not injured himself trying to slow them down.

Turns out they probably don't even exist.

Tracksheet is updated and two new characters have been added.

That's an interesting take especially on my character. But I guess the passage of time will explain that. Interesting in deed. I wonder where we will meet up with the other characters. Only time will tell.

Are there any character backgrounds for the 2 new characters?  I don't see them anywhere.

I'm doing my best to get my post completed today.  I've been sick since Thursday, so it's been rough going.  I will deliver though, so stay tuned...

There are character backgrounds for the two new characters but I won't post them until the turn where the characters are going to be introduced.

Sounds like it's been a tough turn for you Jeff, cheers for sticking with it and I hope you feel better soon.

Jeff,

I'm starting to get what you've got. I think the flu's been going around like wildfire.

Take your time. Don't rush it if you're sick.

I'm making chicken soup.

Hopefully someone can make you some and give you lots of pampering.

Sandra

Michael,

I love the interesting work you're doing with the characters on the tracksheet. AND...

I love your avatar!!!!

Sandra

Sorry everyone, but I'm going to be a number of hours late.  I feel like shit, but I'm half way done.  Early tomorrow.  Sorry.

No worries Jeff, thanks for letting us know. Just as a note, I start a new job tomorrow so I have no idea if I'll have access to the internet much less the ability to visit Simply Scripts.  So I won't be able to update the tracksheet when Jeff goes and I probably won't even be able to update this thread.  I'll take care of it when I'm home which may be a bit on the late-ish side.

Good luck with tomorrow Michael.

Quoted from mcornetto No worries Jeff, thanks for letting us know. Just as a note, I start a new job tomorrow so I have no idea if I'll have access to the internet much less the ability to visit Simply Scripts.  So I won't be able to update the tracksheet when Jeff goes and I probably won't even be able to update this thread.  I'll take care of it when I'm home which may be a bit on the late-ish side.

Don't worry, we'll keep the home fires burning.

Sandra

Sorry for being late with this you guys.  I still feel like crap, but I've got it done.  Just checking it over now and trying to "bold" the headings.  It should be up in less than an hour.

Ok Jeff,

I'm excited to read the next scene. Remember: Lots of fluids.

Sandra

OK, it's up!  I'm not thrilled with it, but I got it done.  I feel like crap, and writing wasn't easy (amazing how many mistakes I was making...like every single workd had to be retyped!).  Guess I'm a bit loopy at the moment.

Hope you guys like it.

I don't know what else to say but "perfect"!!!

This scene brings us down from up in the clouds somewhere, shows us the mysterious dogs being hauled off and generates some sympathy and future dreams of a happy ending out of Jack.

Jack's enjoyment of golf green despite the gruesome circumstances, the idea of his thoughts entertaining a honeymoon in Niagara-- it all meshes perfectly with the great serpent that "ruins" his game and slides out of the water.

If I were to call a scene perfect, this would have to be it. The flu certainly didn't hurt this whatsoever!!!

Seriously, kudos and more Jeff!

Way to go!

Sandra

Wow, I'm glad you liked it Sandra.  I was worried, as things just weren't coming to me very well.  It may have been the vodka on an emty stomach plus the flu that helped...who knows?

Well Mister Bush!  You have a couple of fans...myself being one of them! I think the golfing is so true to Jack Stone's personna.

I loved how you went back and tied in the relationship with Albert through the CB and Eddy's sinister self answers...

I too liked the silly/harmless connection between Sam and Jack...nice, friendly banter back and forth...

Sorry that you took yourself out though  ;(  Not to worry...I will remember you!

Fantastic work...whitty, fun, real and "cheesy good", all at the same time!!  

You may have had a stuffy head...but you didn't have a stuffy mind! *wink*  

I have been up in Washington State for the past 4 days and am just now getting caught up with all the additions on the site.  (Sitting at the airport at present) Sandra and George...marvelous job and also kudos with the collaboration...it shows!  

Nice tie into the 3:00 in his dream...and what a whickedly awesome dream!  My applause for all of the last 3 posts!  VERY NICELY DONE!!!

~m~

I've been thinking about Jeff's scene and I want to add some reason to why I think it's goes deep.

First, we can wonder: Why does Jack want to go and play some golf at a time like this. But why does anyone do anything? And what's that first stage of grief? Denial?

I think that this is a really good "psychological" example of "dealing" during these times.

Jack starts dreaming and talking about honeymoons almost like he "knows" the end is near. He can probably feel it in his very bones.

And now, I can't help but think about the correlation with Citizen Kane. How? The encapsulation of good times and memories is all wrapped up inside "the sled". It doesn't matter what "the thing" is.

For Jack Stone, it's golf. To just go out and have that experience despite everything-- that's what he wants and even if he dies, he's gonna do that. And he does.

Because of that, I consider Jack Stone's character a complete success. Again, a bittersweet ending.

It brings this script above any gore factor or normal (stupid word to use) kind of horror and I appreciate that work a lot.

Sandra

Very nice scene Dreamscale. Short and sweet. Things are really getting intense now. It's funny how most of the initial scenes were long sequences with lots of action, and yet these more dialogue-oriented posts are much stronger.

Sad that Jack had to go. Swallowed by a snake *shudders* :S Why's everyone killing their own characters, anyway?

--Julio

Quoted from ReaperCreeper Very nice scene Dreamscale. Short and sweet. Things are really getting intense now. It's funny how most of the initial scenes were long sequences with lots of action, and yet these more dialogue-oriented posts are much stronger. Sad that Jack had to go. Swallowed by a snake *shudders* :S Why's everyone killing their own characters, anyway? --Julio

Lots of reasons.

Save the others, kill yourself.

Make sure your character has an interesting death.

or just dont want to kill off someone elses character

Glad everyone seems to like my post.  It was difficult for me as I've been sick for a week now and my computer has been on the fritz.  I just replaced my 7 year old cable modem (normal life expectancy is 2 years).  I'm back up and running adn everythign seems to be working again.  I'm still under the weather but feeling a bit better.

Looking forward to how this will all play out.

Quoted from ReaperCreeper Sad that Jack had to go. Swallowed by a snake *shudders* :S Why's everyone killing their own characters, anyway?

I wanted to go for something more heroic for Dr. Fleming, so I wanted to write it myself. I also knew I could create another one if I did, and you better believe I won't kill Wolf (or Timber) off. I will miss James, though. I liked him.

I'm dying to know what this "Wolf" and "Timber" thing is?  They sound like dogs to me.  Do tell...

*evil laugh* Just throwing another monkeywrench into what we believe the world to be. After all, the real world is unpredictable, so this one should be too. I'll let them be revealed in due time.

Just put my part up.

Gotta hand it to you. Not what I expected at all. Different, for sure.

Interesting turn Yohn, out of curiousity who was killed?

I have to run off to work so I can't update the tracksheet for a few more hours. Orange is up next I think and she has Wolf and Timber to introduce.   They are Georges new character.  

I think I forgot to send her the character information, so I'll put it in the next post.

No kill? That's odd. But the scene was good,

Was there supposed to eb a kill?  If so, I'd say it needs to be added in.

We finally get teh Wolf and Timber intro.  Very funny...and interesting.  I route for Timber to be the lone survivor!!!!!

So is that my Challenge Cornetto? To introduce Wolf and Timber?

I don't think I got a challenge for you from George -  You can get one from him if you want otherwise you can just introduce Wolf and timber.   Wolf and Timber are considered one character - when one goes so does the other.

Though the last turn was good, there will need to be a double kill at some point.  I'll be sure to provide it in someone's special instructions.

Okay, this is going to be my longest entry, but I swear it's not too long and all of it is important.  I wanted to have a really cool, action oriented death that had some tears in it and love and all that good stuff...so..yeah. I'm sending it to George now.

wow! that was pdq. I'm looking forward to seeing it. Long and all!

Yeah I had most of the scene already written out from when you gave me the heads up. The introduction of Wolf and Timber added some interesting things i had to explore thats why it's so long.

Yohn that was fabulous!!!

The inner struggle being played out in John also demonstrates what's happening in the big scheme of things.

I was glad to see/hear Cordelia's scream reappearing again at this critical moment.

You've made a tough scene to write seem easy, the mark of talent.

And Piscovirus, staring up at the sky, laughing and talking about love. This is really a scene for an actor to grab hold of.

Way to go!!!

Sandra

Is there some special meaning to the name, Piscovirus?  I can't help but laugh every time I read that name/word.  Funny stuff...  

Agkistrodon Piscivorus is the water moccasin snake or cottonmouth found in the eastern US.

Ah...very good...very good.  The old cottonmouth...funny, I could name myslef that then I guess, I get cotten mouth quite often...

I guess I missed the instruction for a challenge associated with the new character. And I thought at least some of you would get a kick out of there being a non-rabid animal in the mix.

Quoted from mcornetto Interesting turn Yohn, out of curiousity who was killed?

In your original email to me, you said my scene was to be a build scene and I had to use my kill... but then you sent a follow up email, saying my scene was chaging to an introduction scene... I misinterpreted the email and thought that meant I wasn't to do a kill in my scene, that it was purely introduction.  My apologies.  I can re-write if you like, or you'd you'd rather pass the kill to the next person that's fine also.

Good job Yohn...love the inner struggle as well...

I am excited to write my part after Dana...just waiting to see if I need to use any tie in there.

Looks like the snakes are appearing and Cordelia's shrill scream still has an affect.   Cool!

Quoted from Pard In your original email to me, you said my scene was to be a build scene and I had to use my kill... but then you sent a follow up email, saying my scene was chaging to an introduction scene... I misinterpreted the email and thought that meant I wasn't to do a kill in my scene, that it was purely introduction.  My apologies.  I can re-write if you like, or you'd you'd rather pass the kill to the next person that's fine also.

No worries. Your email was full of massive information and lots of twists and turns.  As long as you aren't unhappy that you missed the kill, then you don't need to update it.    We can make up the body count later.  

On the other hand if you want to take the kill and update it you can.  So, let me know and I'll hold off on giving the heads up to the next person in your tribe until you finish making your changes.      

I've added the kill in if that's cool with everyone.

Wow. Bye-bye Bruce. Wish we'd have gotten to know him better.

Nicely done Yohn.  I was sort of waiting for Orange to post before I updated the tracksheet.  I'll wait until later today and if she hasn't posted by then I'll update it.

I'm going to post within the next hour. Sorry it's taken so long...

edit: Okay, I just posted. Sorry it's so long again, hope everyone likes it.

edit again: Also ,I meant to post this earlier but I couldn't find a good link so, i finally ended up going onto youtube. Just in case I got the whole dun nuh's wrong in the scene I posted, here is the song that Michael is humming. Again, sorry about ths video but this is the only thing i could find close to what i was looking for because i dont know what the actual tune is called or if it even has a name..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6MG1DI6d9U

That was positively lovely orange.  Well done.  Poor Father Holmes - we knew him well.  MBC is up next and I'll have the tracksheet updated in a few.