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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Shiva - Discussion Part 3 Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Shiva - Discussion Part 3  (currently 5384 views)
mcornetto
Posted: January 13th, 2009, 3:13am Report to Moderator
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Well done Jeff! So noble to kill your character and spare the lady Samantha.  

And it Yohn's turn and we get a new character for

jayrex

Piscivorus

Male (25)

Johnny Bauman, was a police officer in the Niagra Falls PD when things changed.  Then came the reports of the monster in the river, which always seemed shrouded in mist these days.  Some people seemed changed by their experience of seeing the monster, they become unearthly calm. Those changed called it being reborn, those not changed called it being bitten.  Never having seen an actual bite, Johnny thought the claims were hysteria brought about by the collapse of the world as everyone knew it.  But he investigated anyway.

Now Johnny is know only as Piscivorus, which is short for Agkistrodon Piscivorus.  None of what he was, matters.  He has been reborn by the greatest of all. That which he follows. That which has no name but some call Shiva. His part is to scout and return information to the rhumba.  And he has some very important information he must return with, he has found the one.  The one that is both a danger and salvation.
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mcornetto
Posted: January 15th, 2009, 3:21pm Report to Moderator
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Wolf and Timber

A man of the mountains, Wolf decided to forego his name and life when the chaos began and live in the wilderness. He'd already possessed a keen hunting instinct as well as a full beard, so adopting the life wasn't difficult for him. He carries a backpack with everything one would need for survival as well as a hunting rifle with plenty of shells and clips.

Accompanying Wolf is an unusual sight in this new world: a pet Timberwolf that Wolf just calls Timber so their names will compliment each (and he thought it would be silly to call the wolf "wolf"). Timber is completely obedient to Wolf and strangely completely unaffected by the madness that affected his species, just as our survivors are unaffected by the disease.

Wolf doesn't dream (at least not that he can remember), so he's never seen Shiva. He is willing to divulge that he has been on medication for night terrors since he was a small child and in his full backpack, he maintains that medication to prevent those terrors from returning. His main fear is dreaming anything that he could remember, since he was so affected by his childhood traumas. Despite the lack of dreams, he is still inexplicably drawn to Niagra Falls, and it is on the road with that destination in mind that others will find him and his pet.

All he will say is that he came from the Appalachian Mountains and had been traveling North for awhile. He'd had a vehicle for a little bit, but he'd left it shortly before he is discovered. He is very friendly and willing to share his supplies with anyone almost to a fault. He's not stupid by any means, but he can be taken advantage of. But under no circumstances will he allow harm to come to Timber and will defend his companion like a child.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: January 16th, 2009, 1:46am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from mcornetto
Wolf and Timber

A man of the mountains, Wolf decided to forego his name and life when the chaos began and live in the wilderness. He'd already possessed a keen hunting instinct as well as a full beard, so adopting the life wasn't difficult for him. He carries a backpack with everything one would need for survival as well as a hunting rifle with plenty of shells and clips.

Accompanying Wolf is an unusual sight in this new world: a pet Timberwolf that Wolf just calls Timber so their names will compliment each (and he thought it would be silly to call the wolf "wolf"). Timber is completely obedient to Wolf and strangely completely unaffected by the madness that affected his species, just as our survivors are unaffected by the disease.

Wolf doesn't dream (at least not that he can remember), so he's never seen Shiva. He is willing to divulge that he has been on medication for night terrors since he was a small child and in his full backpack, he maintains that medication to prevent those terrors from returning. His main fear is dreaming anything that he could remember, since he was so affected by his childhood traumas. Despite the lack of dreams, he is still inexplicably drawn to Niagra Falls, and it is on the road with that destination in mind that others will find him and his pet.

All he will say is that he came from the Appalachian Mountains and had been traveling North for awhile. He'd had a vehicle for a little bit, but he'd left it shortly before he is discovered. He is very friendly and willing to share his supplies with anyone almost to a fault. He's not stupid by any means, but he can be taken advantage of. But under no circumstances will he allow harm to come to Timber and will defend his companion like a child.


Wolf and Timber must be based on my brother, Randy. He really does live in the wilderness. When he first moved out to the bush to live wild, he didn't even have power. He still doesn't have running water. Well, he runs and gets it-- from the creek.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: January 31st, 2009, 9:13pm Report to Moderator
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I know you'll do it Ste.  I have complete faith in you.  

And a quick note.  The Rainbow Bridge is off limits until the Finale.  At this point, and not before this point, the two remaining characters - one from each tribe - will meet in the middle of the bridge.  It is there that they will meet Shiva.

The Rainbow Bridge should be painted as mist enshrouded.  The centre of the bridge should not be visible.
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 3rd, 2009, 10:33am Report to Moderator
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I hear ya George...I really do.  As I said to Sandra earlier, of teh 3, I think it was an easy decision, but only because, as you said, no one even knew the Wolfster.

Also, as you said, his death was strange, and I think it would have been better if he died doing something, as opposed to just having snakes start popping out of his eyeballs.

I'm afraid Timber is going to bite it also, but I will guarrantee you this...Timber will not go down without a fight, and he'll do Wolf proud.
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mcornetto
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 3:36am Report to Moderator
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Here's what's going to happen when we are done writing this.  

1.  I'll set up a post mortem thread for Shiva where we can discuss what we thought worked and what we thought didn't.

2.  During the post mortem, I'll try to get the script into as close to formatted as I can and put it into an rtf file.  This will allow probably everyone to import it into their normal screenwriting program.

3. I will start a thread - Shiva Rewrite Challenge -  and provide a link to the file.  Anyone, not just the participants, will be allowed to download the file and take a stab at a Shiva rewrite.  

4. The rewrite phase will last for three months.  At the end of three months all of the rewrites will be gathered together and posted.  We can then vote for the best rewrite and carry that forward as the script.

Cheers,

Michael  

EDIT: I split off another thread so this thread isn't so unmanagable.  I tried to leave some information around that people might need, but it looks like I left a few other posts too.

Revision History (1 edits)
mcornetto  -  February 4th, 2009, 4:04am
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George Willson
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 11:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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Michael, if it helps on that, I copied all the posts into Final Draft last night, and reformatted it already, so I could send you the rtf once it's all done unless you've got a running file already.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 2:00pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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I've got it in Final Draft, but with the excess leftover from the thread that I still have to go back and delete.

Lots of work to work with that's for certain.

Michael, the work never ends does it? All your programing work and you come home to this? Oh my goodness gracious me.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 3:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from George Willson
Michael, if it helps on that, I copied all the posts into Final Draft last night, and reformatted it already, so I could send you the rtf once it's all done unless you've got a running file already.


Sure George, that would be helpful. How long is it in FD BTW?
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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I think George said it was 209 pages!!!
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Mr.Ripley
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 4:56pm Report to Moderator
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Just wanted to chip in to show my existence and interest in this project. Started a new job so been with that lately.  I'm up for the rewrite.  I'm close to finishing the rewrite guys. Sorry for the wait. It's just that the extended time one has away from a project sometimes helps the writer write better scenes. In this case it has. Hopefully it'll be a shocker to you guys except for my character's death. lol. I'll soon have it posted.  


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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George Willson
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 5:42pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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Indeed, it was 209 pages. Once I got all the weirdness out of it from stuff that got confused when it imported and screwed itself into the wrong format, it went back and forth between 208 and 209 but finally settled back to 209.

It appears that once Ripley is done with this tweak, I'll need to re-snag his scene and import it back in. No biggie though. If anyone else tweaks a scene going forward, please post that you've done so, so I can make sure and grab the revision.


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 5:44pm Report to Moderator
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My post is almost done.  I'll forward it over to my partner, and I should be ready to post in a couple hours.
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stebrown
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from George
If anyone else tweaks a scene going forward, please post that you've done so, so I can make sure and grab the revision.


I've tweaked my scene a little. Just to clarify some locations for Jeff. No major changes, just sluglines and a few of the descriptions.


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2009, 7:40pm Report to Moderator
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OK guys and gals, here it is.  Hope you like it.

I read every single post involving Sam and Leona, and found that they were both actually very strong characters, who were more than capable of kicking some ass.  In later posts, they were for some reason made out to be total wimps, and I don't think that's who they really are...so I let them loose on the Primitives.

We're almost at the final conflict...how exciting!!!!!
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