Well done Jeff! So noble to kill your character and spare the lady Samantha.  

And it Yohn's turn and we get a new character for

jayrex

Piscivorus

Male (25)

Johnny Bauman, was a police officer in the Niagra Falls PD when things changed.  Then came the reports of the monster in the river, which always seemed shrouded in mist these days.  Some people seemed changed by their experience of seeing the monster, they become unearthly calm. Those changed called it being reborn, those not changed called it being bitten.  Never having seen an actual bite, Johnny thought the claims were hysteria brought about by the collapse of the world as everyone knew it.  But he investigated anyway.

Now Johnny is know only as Piscivorus, which is short for Agkistrodon Piscivorus.  None of what he was, matters.  He has been reborn by the greatest of all. That which he follows. That which has no name but some call Shiva. His part is to scout and return information to the rhumba.  And he has some very important information he must return with, he has found the one.  The one that is both a danger and salvation.

Wolf and Timber

A man of the mountains, Wolf decided to forego his name and life when the chaos began and live in the wilderness. He'd already possessed a keen hunting instinct as well as a full beard, so adopting the life wasn't difficult for him. He carries a backpack with everything one would need for survival as well as a hunting rifle with plenty of shells and clips.

Accompanying Wolf is an unusual sight in this new world: a pet Timberwolf that Wolf just calls Timber so their names will compliment each (and he thought it would be silly to call the wolf "wolf"). Timber is completely obedient to Wolf and strangely completely unaffected by the madness that affected his species, just as our survivors are unaffected by the disease.

Wolf doesn't dream (at least not that he can remember), so he's never seen Shiva. He is willing to divulge that he has been on medication for night terrors since he was a small child and in his full backpack, he maintains that medication to prevent those terrors from returning. His main fear is dreaming anything that he could remember, since he was so affected by his childhood traumas. Despite the lack of dreams, he is still inexplicably drawn to Niagra Falls, and it is on the road with that destination in mind that others will find him and his pet.

All he will say is that he came from the Appalachian Mountains and had been traveling North for awhile. He'd had a vehicle for a little bit, but he'd left it shortly before he is discovered. He is very friendly and willing to share his supplies with anyone almost to a fault. He's not stupid by any means, but he can be taken advantage of. But under no circumstances will he allow harm to come to Timber and will defend his companion like a child.

Quoted from mcornetto Wolf and Timber A man of the mountains, Wolf decided to forego his name and life when the chaos began and live in the wilderness. He'd already possessed a keen hunting instinct as well as a full beard, so adopting the life wasn't difficult for him. He carries a backpack with everything one would need for survival as well as a hunting rifle with plenty of shells and clips. Accompanying Wolf is an unusual sight in this new world: a pet Timberwolf that Wolf just calls Timber so their names will compliment each (and he thought it would be silly to call the wolf "wolf"). Timber is completely obedient to Wolf and strangely completely unaffected by the madness that affected his species, just as our survivors are unaffected by the disease. Wolf doesn't dream (at least not that he can remember), so he's never seen Shiva. He is willing to divulge that he has been on medication for night terrors since he was a small child and in his full backpack, he maintains that medication to prevent those terrors from returning. His main fear is dreaming anything that he could remember, since he was so affected by his childhood traumas. Despite the lack of dreams, he is still inexplicably drawn to Niagra Falls, and it is on the road with that destination in mind that others will find him and his pet. All he will say is that he came from the Appalachian Mountains and had been traveling North for awhile. He'd had a vehicle for a little bit, but he'd left it shortly before he is discovered. He is very friendly and willing to share his supplies with anyone almost to a fault. He's not stupid by any means, but he can be taken advantage of. But under no circumstances will he allow harm to come to Timber and will defend his companion like a child.

Wolf and Timber must be based on my brother, Randy. He really does live in the wilderness. When he first moved out to the bush to live wild, he didn't even have power. He still doesn't have running water. Well, he runs and gets it-- from the creek.

Sandra

I know you'll do it Ste.  I have complete faith in you.  

And a quick note.  The Rainbow Bridge is off limits until the Finale.  At this point, and not before this point, the two remaining characters - one from each tribe - will meet in the middle of the bridge.  It is there that they will meet Shiva.

The Rainbow Bridge should be painted as mist enshrouded.  The centre of the bridge should not be visible.

I hear ya George...I really do.  As I said to Sandra earlier, of teh 3, I think it was an easy decision, but only because, as you said, no one even knew the Wolfster.

Also, as you said, his death was strange, and I think it would have been better if he died doing something, as opposed to just having snakes start popping out of his eyeballs.

I'm afraid Timber is going to bite it also, but I will guarrantee you this...Timber will not go down without a fight, and he'll do Wolf proud.

Here's what's going to happen when we are done writing this.  

1.  I'll set up a post mortem thread for Shiva where we can discuss what we thought worked and what we thought didn't.

2.  During the post mortem, I'll try to get the script into as close to formatted as I can and put it into an rtf file.  This will allow probably everyone to import it into their normal screenwriting program.

3. I will start a thread - Shiva Rewrite Challenge -  and provide a link to the file.  Anyone, not just the participants, will be allowed to download the file and take a stab at a Shiva rewrite.  

4. The rewrite phase will last for three months.  At the end of three months all of the rewrites will be gathered together and posted.  We can then vote for the best rewrite and carry that forward as the script.

Cheers,

Michael  

EDIT: I split off another thread so this thread isn't so unmanagable.  I tried to leave some information around that people might need, but it looks like I left a few other posts too.

Michael, if it helps on that, I copied all the posts into Final Draft last night, and reformatted it already, so I could send you the rtf once it's all done unless you've got a running file already.

I've got it in Final Draft, but with the excess leftover from the thread that I still have to go back and delete.

Lots of work to work with that's for certain.

Michael, the work never ends does it? All your programing work and you come home to this? Oh my goodness gracious me.

Sandra

Quoted from George Willson Michael, if it helps on that, I copied all the posts into Final Draft last night, and reformatted it already, so I could send you the rtf once it's all done unless you've got a running file already.

Sure George, that would be helpful. How long is it in FD BTW?

I think George said it was 209 pages!!!

Just wanted to chip in to show my existence and interest in this project. Started a new job so been with that lately.  I'm up for the rewrite.  I'm close to finishing the rewrite guys. Sorry for the wait. It's just that the extended time one has away from a project sometimes helps the writer write better scenes. In this case it has. Hopefully it'll be a shocker to you guys except for my character's death. lol. I'll soon have it posted.  

Indeed, it was 209 pages. Once I got all the weirdness out of it from stuff that got confused when it imported and screwed itself into the wrong format, it went back and forth between 208 and 209 but finally settled back to 209.

It appears that once Ripley is done with this tweak, I'll need to re-snag his scene and import it back in. No biggie though. If anyone else tweaks a scene going forward, please post that you've done so, so I can make sure and grab the revision.

My post is almost done.  I'll forward it over to my partner, and I should be ready to post in a couple hours.

Quoted from George If anyone else tweaks a scene going forward, please post that you've done so, so I can make sure and grab the revision.

I've tweaked my scene a little. Just to clarify some locations for Jeff. No major changes, just sluglines and a few of the descriptions.

OK guys and gals, here it is.  Hope you like it.

I read every single post involving Sam and Leona, and found that they were both actually very strong characters, who were more than capable of kicking some ass.  In later posts, they were for some reason made out to be total wimps, and I don't think that's who they really are...so I let them loose on the Primitives.

We're almost at the final conflict...how exciting!!!!!

Well done Dreamscale.

Tracksheet is updated.  It's George's turn.  Only four characters left.  Two from each tribe.  George can work with both tribes at this point so any one of them can go.

Stay tuned.

Should we be posting our comments here or on the discussion board that is 22 pages long?

You should be posting your comments here.  The other discussion board is locked.

Gottcha   

Cheers to Dreamscale for bringing some "action and strength" into the female characters in this scene of the game.  I'm so glad you used Sam's Rugers and Leona's shotgun!

I love Leona's final statement...and that you left it there.  

From what I had read about the Primitives they seemed to be based in chaos...waterfall going the wrong direction...killing Wolf and yellow eyes...and those snakes...aside from the fact that they really don't seem to be protecting what we seek - SHIVA.

Our path is now clear to meet those that remain from the other tribe...Cordelia and Piscceeeee   

We have life coursing through our veins!!!

Well done Dreamscale!

Glad you liked it.  I wasn't sure what you'd say when I sent it over to you.  I kind of knew that you'd like Sam's badass side, but wanted to hear what you thought about what others will think.  I guess we still have to wait and see.

Girl Power, huh?????????

I'm not sure what others will think...it's hard to tell.  I do like that you inserted the fact that Sam had a feeling about where the Primitives were taking them.  

Not sure how all of this will play out, before I am able to write my next post...so Sam could be gone in the next post...but at least she and Leona had a moment. A part of me wants to stop and put water from the falls on Leona's leg and watch it heal

Time will tell how this all plays out and works together for the ending

Oh...I just checked...George is up next and then Cornetto and then vote...so I've had my two turns   Oh well I will just sit back and read!

Hello Jeff,

I've just read your scene after listening to a three hour vacuum cleaner sales pitch. On the upside I really thought the sales guy was such a sweet young man and did a fantastic presentation, but my head is going "la-la-la-la" right now. Or is it, "da-da-da-da".

Anyways, first off, I like how you gave the leader a name: Yellow Eyes. Good job with that.

I'm not sure whether these particular Primitives are Blasphemers or not, but that's another story.

The action sequence was well done IMHO. The only problem I have with it, (but again, it's nothing that can't be fixed) is that it's very out of the blue. But Ste had that same problem with his kill. It's just plain hard right now.

I almost feel like these two ladies could be a couple of super heroes. The high power is really good if it's set up that one was in the military or cadets or something growing up and the other has martial arts training, but since they were with a rather large group of Primitives, I don't think they could take them all down without special training. They could take some down with the firepower, but I don't think all.

Perhaps it might have been more discreet. Perhaps, one of them might have seduced them with a little hanky panky behind the main camp under the sound of a crackling fire? A sneak attack?

Maybe the two lead males even had that in mind when they captured them? What kind of male Primitive wouldn't look upon such a couple of fine Godesses as a perfect opportunity to sow some seed?

Just a thought.

The scene worked well otherwise I think. Especially from an action standpoint. And you worked hard with the locations and the new bridge versus the old bridge.

I'm wondering about The Primitives though: Whatever they were protecting... as Yellow Eyes had mocked: "What we protect." We'll never know.

Lots to think about here that's for sure.

Sandra

I was wondering where my shotgun was in all this. I was also wondeirng when the leg would be mentioned. Good job with tying those things in.

Anyway...this is random, I know...but
I think trying to put what we have into a more cohesive body of work will present us with major complications in terms of character and story flow but that can be discussed once everything is said and done and the game has ended...but i just thought I would put that out there.

You know, I'm not sure that Timber counts as the kill since he's part of Wolf who was killed in the last turn. I liked the scene. Don't get me wrong. But I think you cheated on the kill meaning I would have to double up on the next turn.

Does that sound right?

Once anyone gets to rewrite this they can pretty much decide how to approach it. Though built into the exercise is a very natural way of doing so.  Each of the storylines is isolated, at least until now, and they could very easily be split off into their own film.

There's three different films in here just waiting to be plucked out.  More if you use different combinations of story threads.  

George,  Alffy's kill was used in his first turn.  There are only two kills left in the game.  One for you and one for me.

Quoted from mcornetto George,  Alffy's kill was used in his first turn.  There are only two kills left in the game.  One for you and one for me.

Ah, fair enough. Missed that one.

I would still take the mini-series approach and split it into a few parts about 90 pages each. Don't know if I'd subdivide the parts into acts at this stage or not.

And was there a challenge or any special instructions for me at this stage? It's just me and you, buddy.

Get us closer to the Rainbow bridge.  

Wait, I'm confused. I had a guy named Yellow Eyes in my last scene, but he got killed. Why would you write another Yellow Eyes?  lol. Minor point.

We're already nearing the end!

--Julio

There was a Yellow Eyes in your last post?  There was also one in Ste's last post.

LOL! I can't believe it. Three different Yellow Eyes.

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. Hello Jeff, I'm not sure whether these particular Primitives are Blasphemers or not, but that's another story. The action sequence was well done IMHO. The only problem I have with it, (but again, it's nothing that can't be fixed) is that it's very out of the blue. But Ste had that same problem with his kill. It's just plain hard right now. I almost feel like these two ladies could be a couple of super heroes. The high power is really good if it's set up that one was in the military or cadets or something growing up and the other has martial arts training, but since they were with a rather large group of Primitives, I don't think they could take them all down without special training. They could take some down with the firepower, but I don't think all. Perhaps it might have been more discreet. Perhaps, one of them might have seduced them with a little hanky panky behind the main camp under the sound of a crackling fire? A sneak attack? Maybe the two lead males even had that in mind when they captured them? What kind of male Primitive wouldn't look upon such a couple of fine Godesses as a perfect opportunity to sow some seed? Just a thought. I'm wondering about The Primitives though: Whatever they were protecting... as Yellow Eyes had mocked: "What we protect." We'll never know.

Sandra...this isn't about sterotyping...if a person felt their life was threatened...a person can do things beyond their normal inclination...all one needs is will power.  

As far as turning it into some saucy "sowing of seed" opportunity for the Primitives...I'm rather glad that Leona and Sam just blasted away and got rid of the nasty beasts!   Yellow eyes had devastating breath!  eck!

As far as the Primitives protecting...they weren't protecting...as mentioned in your dream...I think they wanted to bring about something more for their future...which wouldn't necessarily play into SHIVA...but as we all know...most of that is just a quess...since we still don't truly know what SHIVA is....Cornetto should shed some light on that shortly.   

Looking forward to the reveal...

Hey George and Michael, Sam and Leona are only a number of feet from the Rainbow Bridge.  I would have ended my post with them walking onto it, but Michael told me that no one could enter the bridge yet...that's why they're not quite there.

Sandra, sorry you don't like this scene.  I had a feeling some would not, but I wanted to get some action and excitement in here, as I feel it has been sorely lacking lately.  Yeah, I know Sam and Leona come off as super heroes in a way, but consider this.  Leona has a shotgun that had been forgoten for some reason.  Sam had 2 Ruger 9mm pistols, which each holding a clip of 17 rounds, they had the advantage of surprise, and they also had Timber.  Taking out 9 Primitives with that firepower wouldn't be that big of a deal, as Primitives are exactly what their name says...primitive, stupid, etc.

I was hoping you guys would like how I ended things, brnging God into the mix, but no one other than my partner even mentioned it.

Oh well, I went for it.

Julio, the Yellow Eyes in this post is the lader of the Primitives, who was introduced by Ste in his last post.  So I guess if you had a Yellow Eyes also, that would be a total of 2 then.

The yellow eyes have been mentioned a number of times...especially having to do with the snake take over. Even Cordelia's eyes have gone yellow if I'm not mistaken...maybe I am.  I will go back and read some more to confirm.

I have a plan for my scene. I have four choices to kill, and I have reviewed them all very, very carefully. I've read what amounts to the last 100 or so pages to get all caught up with everyone and everything they've been through.

As I understand it, Sam and Leona crossed a new Rainbow Bridge and are now in the United States. The heading says Rainbow Park and while Google doesn't specify a Rainbow Park, there is a place just south of the Rainbow Bridge that looks like in forty years it could be a park. Cordelia and Piscivorus were on Three Sisters Island, still some distance from Rainbow Bridge, but they would have to travel with their posse to Rainbow Bridge still after the detour. So either in my scene or Michael's scene the two groups would have to run into each other prior to getting to Rainbow Bridge. Would that be a correct assessment?

I ask because I know exactly what to do with such a meeting before everyone hits Rainbow Bridge together.

That sounds correct to me George.  I do not recall Cordelia or Piscivorus leaving that area in any of the recent posts.

George, here's the deal...the New Rainbow Bridge is north of the current Rainbow Bridge.  Sam and Leona were coming from the east, meaning they were travelling south east over the bridge, (when the Primitives grabbed them).  After killing them, they went back (north west) to where they originally were. Rainbow Park is made up (as is the New Rainbow Bridge), but it's the area just north of the actual Rainbow Bridge, and its on the Canadian side.

Does that make sense?  They would have started onto the actual Rainbow Bridge, but again, Cornetto made it very clear that he didn't want them on the bridge yet.  They could be on the bridge in a few minutes of walkiing though.

Hope this helps.

Quoted from George Willson I have a plan for my scene. I have four choices to kill, and I have reviewed them all very, very carefully. I've read what amounts to the last 100 or so pages to get all caught up with everyone and everything they've been through. As I understand it, Sam and Leona crossed a new Rainbow Bridge and are now in the United States. The heading says Rainbow Park and while Google doesn't specify a Rainbow Park, there is a place just south of the Rainbow Bridge that looks like in forty years it could be a park. Cordelia and Piscivorus were on Three Sisters Island, still some distance from Rainbow Bridge, but they would have to travel with their posse to Rainbow Bridge still after the detour. So either in my scene or Michael's scene the two groups would have to run into each other prior to getting to Rainbow Bridge. Would that be a correct assessment? I ask because I know exactly what to do with such a meeting before everyone hits Rainbow Bridge together.

I thought we'd be in Canada as:

"Twelve around once,
Twelve around twice,
Round at the place where the maple leaf falls,
This is good advice."

But this was Colin's Dream and he's dead; so that information died with him.

Sandra

Quoted from MBCgirl Sandra...this isn't about sterotyping...if a person felt their life was threatened...a person can do things beyond their normal inclination...all one needs is will power.   As far as turning it into some saucy "sowing of seed" opportunity for the Primitives...I'm rather glad that Leona and Sam just blasted away and got rid of the nasty beasts!   Yellow eyes had devastating breath!  eck!

I was only giving Jeff my honest opinion so he would know that I had some of that impression. (That the ladies' power came on perhaps a little too strong.)

As far as stereotyping, I don't have any problem with it at all. It's very useful because like it or not, people are often very stereotypical even with their uniqueness.

The point I raised, is not against a "superhero" stereotype, but that the power of these ladies in this scene might come off a little bit too out of the blue. That's not to say that people can't do miraculous things. They can and they do. We've all heard the stories of women lifting cars that their children were trapped under.

Again, and we've said this before. It's often not the scene itself that's a problem, but the connections and set-ups.

Sandra

Okay, at the top of stebrown's scene, he says the sun is casting shadows ahead of them. We know it's morning because the last real scene happened at night with Cordelia and her troop. This would indicate they're walking west (rather impossibly, as River Road runs N-S). And sure enough, Jeff says "they struggle back the way they came."

Hm, that places them about 2 or 3 miles from each other (as the Nazgul flies). It also means that since the intent is Rainbow Bridge, and Sam and Leona are right on top of it and won't meet up with Cordelia and Piscivorus, my scene plan must be scrapped and something new figured out.

It's a shame too. Nobody would have seen that coming. That means I am left with two choices and all that group has to do is travel. Thinking of something else...

George, there were numerous geographical mistakes in prior posts.  Ste was confused by the mention of Highway 83, which neither of us has a clue where it may be, or why it was mentioned.  He told me he did his best and found River Road, and had the group walking south along it, toward Rainbow Bridge.

Since his post ended with the group being taken over "a" bridge, I turned it into this New Rainbow Bridge and Rainbow Park.  I thought the kills were done, but I guess not. I was hoping that we'd have a shodown with 2 from the good side, and 2 from the bad.

Looks like it won't be a fair fight one way or another...

They might as well meet up then.  

No, actually I've got it figured out where one group is on one side, and one group is on the other with the same basic results as my other idea. They can't meet up without crossing the bridge, and you wanted that privilege Michael. I will have one group on one side and one group on the other (or what amounts to 2 on one side and 1 on the other). You can take them onto the bridge as you wished. I'm very curious to a) see what you have in mind and b) see what you'll do with the twist I'm going to leave you with.

As has been mentioned George...since we left Cordelia and Piscivoros at night...they could have moved anywhere since we left them and an intro to that movement could shore that up, bringing then to the opposite side of the bridge?  

I have written my scene. Sending it to Orange. With any luck, it'll be up tomorrow.

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. I was only giving Jeff my honest opinion so he would know that I had some of that impression. (That the ladies' power came on perhaps a little too strong.) As far as stereotyping, I don't have any problem with it at all. It's very useful because like it or not, people are often very stereotypical even with their uniqueness. The point I raised, is not against a "superhero" stereotype, but that the power of these ladies in this scene might come off a little bit too out of the blue. That's not to say that people can't do miraculous things. They can and they do. We've all heard the stories of women lifting cars that their children were trapped under. Again, and we've said this before. It's often not the scene itself that's a problem, but the connections and set-ups. Sandra

I agree Sandra...Leona and Sam's weakness came about in some of the posts, but that wasn't what these two women were...I'm sure that will be shored up in the rewrite process...and as you have commented above...it is the set up that creates that disconnect.

That was very cool Mr. Willson. I loved it.  Though of course it leaves me with an interesting set up.

I'm up next and it ain't going to start until I'm done with work.  This is the next to the last scene all.  You've all done so well and I'm very proud of you.

Very interesting, George!  Very ambiguous, also, and in this case, maybe too ambiguous...not sure exactly how I feel about it yet.  I'm glad Sam is still kickin', but I'm also very confused by this turn of events.  It seemed that Cordie was definitely on the evil side, and our Sammy, clearly on the good side.  Not sure what to make of this, so I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

As to all the chanting in whatever language, and the "translations", I'd say it needs to be written differently...with a super, if you really want that to show onscreen, or just without the translations, as I doubt it really matters that we know what they're chanting.  Know what I mean?

Good job though, brother!

Georgio!  WOW!  Very interesting turn of events...the child amoung us is gone...

"The closeness of death provides its own salvation..."

I'm a bit confused about Sam turning to the thing she hated in Eddy...I felt that it signified the bad side of things...but Cornetto only knows the answer to that...

Time to see what happens next...I will say it is very exciting.  I really liked the dialogue between Leona and Sam...lots of stuff to work with there

Overall...fantastic job George!!!

I went to check the plural of vortex and thought that vortices could be wrong...I guess it's up to the writer but I did find this explanation:
The Sedona Energy Vortexes

No, it’s not vortices. In Sedona the plural of vortex is usually vortexes. So what is a vortex, anyway? Well you see them in everyday life. The turbulent flow of water makes vortices. If you have ever seen a whirlpool in a river or watched water going down the drain in the bath tub and have witnessed the tornado like glassiness of spinning water, you have seen a vortex. A vortex is created from spiraling motion of air or liquid around a center of rotation. If you have ever witnessed a dust devil kick up in the desert, you have seen a vortex.

In Sedona vortexes are created, not by wind or water, but from spiraling spiritual energy. The vortexes of Sedona are named because they are believed to be spiritual locations where the energy is right to facilitate prayer, mediation and healing. Vortex sites are believed to be locations having energy flow that exists on multiple dimensions. The energy of the vortexes interacts with a person’s inner self. It is not easily explained. Obviously it must be experienced.

Wow...interesting stuff on vortexes...and vortices.

Good job, Morgan!

Quoted from MBCgirl I went to check the plural of vortex and thought that vortices could be wrong...I guess it's up to the writer but I did find this explanation: The Sedona Energy Vortexes No, it’s not vortices. In Sedona the plural of vortex is usually vortexes. So what is a vortex, anyway? Well you see them in everyday life. The turbulent flow of water makes vortices. If you have ever seen a whirlpool in a river or watched water going down the drain in the bath tub and have witnessed the tornado like glassiness of spinning water, you have seen a vortex. A vortex is created from spiraling motion of air or liquid around a center of rotation. If you have ever witnessed a dust devil kick up in the desert, you have seen a vortex. In Sedona vortexes are created, not by wind or water, but from spiraling spiritual energy. The vortexes of Sedona are named because they are believed to be spiritual locations where the energy is right to facilitate prayer, mediation and healing. Vortex sites are believed to be locations having energy flow that exists on multiple dimensions. The energy of the vortexes interacts with a person’s inner self. It is not easily explained. Obviously it must be experienced.

Oh yeah! Those!!! They're like the Disney Land of the Spiritual!!!  

Quoted from Dreamscale Very interesting, George!  Very ambiguous, also, and in this case, maybe too ambiguous...not sure exactly how I feel about it yet.  I'm glad Sam is still kickin', but I'm also very confused by this turn of events.  It seemed that Cordie was definitely on the evil side, and our Sammy, clearly on the good side.  Not sure what to make of this, so I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

Strange how you thought Cordelia was evil. I never thought that.

Sandra

Huh?  How could you not find Cordilia evil?  Did I miss something here?

Vortices is the "proper" plural of vortex while vortexes is commonly accepted, though technically misspelled. It's pronounced vor-tiss-eez.

As for good versus evil, can it be said that the thing they seek is truly evil? Could it be that Sam knew the path of enlightenment and Eddy was not within the path she saw that should be taken. It has never been said whether Shiva is good or evil. Cults always spring up and misplace themselves in evil ways while believing they are doing the will of the god they follow (the crusades, anyone?). Sam despised Eddy, but it is never said that she despised Shiva (or at least, I don't think so).

This journey has been to find out what Shiva is and why it draws them. The followers on the other side did something to Cordelia and Sam knew what it was, but at the end of the scene, she only answered the question, but didn't clarify whether these followers did the right thing or not. People only do what they believe is right.

Cordelia was deep in the counsel of Shiva. That much is true, but her judgement, being as young as she was, was clouded by those around her, and she went along with whatever she fell into since she didn't know whether it was right or wrong.

Sam, by contrast, is older and would be able to understand what is going on much better, and as such, stayed clear of the counsels of the dark side and quietly made her way to where she needed to go. I can't see her feeling like Cordelia needed to die, but only step down. Piscivorus represents the darker side to me, and yet he only understands his sect of the Shiva worship, and seeing Sam, he understood, at least, that Sam was the one they were waiting for and Cordelia was an imposter. Cordelia had always resisted being "the one", and had she been Sam's age, she might have understood better. When Piscivorus talked her into embracing "that side," she fell, but deep within herself, she knew it wasn't her they wanted. She had wisdom beyond her years, and when Piscivorus returned, she knew what he would do to her. It's also conceivable that Wolf represented the "other" side, hence that dream argument.

It's possible that Cordelia knew who Sam was this entire time without knowing "who" she was, but knowing and understanding are two different things. That's my take on it anyway. Yes, it comes off as ambiguous, but I had thought it through before writing it down.

EDIT: And saying all this, I don't find Cordelia evil. She was thirteen and simply fell into the wrong crowd.

George,

I liked how you moved the two locations back and forth. It's interesting the way you ended this scene.

I think Cordelia's very happy to move on. It seemed to be her destiny. She served her purpose in this world and now she goes back from whence she came.

Sandra

Very interesting take on all of this. George you are correct in that none of us knows if SHIVA is good or evil...although the SHIVA God as we know it has both sides present...at least in todays understanding of it.

I didn't take vortises as being wrong...I took that info from a Sedona website.

Cordelia had a vortex experience in an earlier scene...

Interesting information and I am excited to see what Cornetto writes since he is the mastermind of this effort.  Should be very interesting indeed!!  

I haven't read the newest scene yet, but lemme just chime in on the Cordelia thing here -- so far, she's taken a rather passive role, even though she's now with The Followers (again, I've not read the newest scene). But I do not envision Cordelia  as evil at all. We do not even know if Shiva is benevolent or not, despite all the cults running around.

You will pay for this, George. I swear it!! >=0

I wanted to "complete" Innocence's arch before Cordie bit the dust

Well, keep that in mind for the rewrite, Reaper. This isn't the end. This is just the first draft here.

Quoted from ReaperCreeper You will pay for this, George. I swear it!! >=0

And I knew someone would feel that way. Bwahahahahaha!

Ok, first off I need to take a deep breath as I figure how to explain my take on it.

Well, after that, I've decided that the depth I'd go into is far too much for one post; so I'll just skim the surface and maybe come back to more later.

Jeff, regarding your thinking that Cordelia was evil, first off I need to explain that I didn't think of anyone being evil in this except for The Blasphemers, those very dark magicians that Julio created in his post and those that had thrown Colin into the pit of snakes. They were as I mentioned before "the third element". The two sides which some might interpret as "bad and good" are neither bad nor good.

The Followers =  Piscivorus & The Serpentians

These creatures are extremely wise, use their intellect and too much of this creates an imbalance in nature as we have seen in our own world with our technologies.

The Primitives = Wolf & The Primitives (Note those you saw killing Wolf I had interpreted as Blasphemers as I had mentioned in the dream, some individuals from both sides had turned into Blasphemers.)

Although Piscivorus and Wolf were on different sides of the coin. Wild/Tame, I tried to depict them as essentially human, they had reincarnated over aeons, always fighting the good fight. Sometimes Piscivorus would get the upper hand, sometimes Wolf, but always, the balance would continue and the cycles would perpetuate much like they do in nature like with the wolf and deer population or weather cycles, warming and cooling trends-- always, the struggle is for the struggle and for the balance together.

Struggle = Opportunities = Growth = Consciousness = Goodness

Shiva and all his/her aspects male/female, destroyer, healer (Rudra)

In Hinduism there is the trinity just like in Christianity. Brahma might be considered the Father (Creator). Consider: Creator, Sustainer, Destroyer

So. Neither Wolf nor Piscivorus I had seen as evil. Only the Blasphemers, who I imagined to be lustful for a kind of high they received from tormenting people and things. Not for balance or any kind of cycle, but for their twisted natures.

Cordelia, I imagined to have been married to Piscivorus in a past life and Piscivorus had a hard time with that because now, she was a child. That's why in the dream he offered her the cigarette, but she refused and continued sucking on her lolly. The fact that she had a replacement was meant to show that one vice or one need/perceived need is always replaced by something else. Cordelia was very much a women inside of a child's body. This created part of her mental instability.

She had the ability to mirror people's negative sides. (Note I'm saying negative; not evil.)

When I worked with all of the characters, I worked on the premise that "you have to have darkness in order to see the light".

It was a great challenge to write the dream for Father Holmes because I was essentially writing for a dead man. I really spent a lot of time with a great weight on my heart for this and I can tell you, that I cried when I was finished that dream.

I had went firmly back to that parking lot, that lamppost where Father Holmes lay propped up and it was not only a striking visual, it touched my deeply.

I don't know what is the future of "Shiva" the movie or "Shiva" the mini series or "Shiva" something that only lives on in our hearts... What I do know is that the thing that is Shiva is both chilling and warming at the same time. It's the ultimate paradox and it's ours to keep.

Sandra

Thanks for the back story explanation Sandra...I'm going to have to say this as I know you put a LOT of thought into all of this, and as you mentioned only grazed the surface of your explanation.  

The question then is this...If this were made into a series or movie someday...based on just the scenes we have, the way it has played out...would the general viewer know all the information yo provided?

It is a deep explanation and unfortunately...people in general don't delve so far into their thoughts to come up with all of this when watching a movie...although I think a strong Christopher Reed voice over could tell us the story as we watch the chaos in the beginning of this... it could give more information about the followers, primitives and blasphemers...that might better set the stage for what we experience in the scenes.

I've been a part of this post and even I don't have it down...as I was not privy to your thoughts until just now.

I myself did not think that Cordelia was evil...but I felt she was on another side...that she had chosen that side...mainly because she changed...left Innocence behind and received yellow eyes.  There again, it was my interpretation of this literary piece.  

Maybe I take it at more face value...I completely understand that SHIVA is a dual force...and in the beginning we had to be "for or against" so it appears the waters have muddied some...in my mind though...I have been against it...against its struggle to corrupt itself from the very beginning. The yellow snake eyes to me symbolized a crossing over to the side I was against...since I had to state my side in the beginning.

I thought of Wolf and Piscovorous as warrying brothers who had been in this for decades (after your dream) sort of like Cain and Able.

In my mind it is if even SHIVA is warrying with itself...the good versus bad, which is so much a part of human nature. (Romans Chapter 7 a pure example)  

I see it very differently than you do I think...but isn't that also the beauty of art, literature and the movies?

Cornetto will fill in the blanks and then the final scene will be written...I hope I am the one to tell it...but it may be a different tale than most would expect....we shall see.

Who's Chistopher Reed?

Who is Christopher Reed?
Who are the last two standing?
These questions and more will be answered in the next installment.

Coming soon to a Simply Scripts near you.

As soon as GM gets back to me.

Now that's some funny shit!!  LOL for some reason...

Looking forward to seeing how it all plays out and whether or not the trucks with all teh dog carcasses are actually going to come into play.

Maybe Christopher Reed will turn out to be 1 of the last 2 standing?  

The scene is up.  Tracksheet is updated.

Anyone can vote

You don’t need to be a player/character.

Send me an private message with the subject “Shiva Vote”  and inside the message choose the character you want to confront Shiva.

Either:

LEONA or SAM

You have 48 hours to vote.

I will tally the votes and let the player who is the last survivor know.  The vote will be kept secret. So if you are not the last survivor, don’t let anyone know.  The last survivor will submit the finale to me – without a check from their buddy.  I will post the last scene.

Cheers.   And once again, well done everyone.

Interesting...very interesting!  Not sure what to think...

What was with the trucks and dead dogs?

When will Christopher Reed come into play?

Is Timber actually dead?  Maybe he survived his plunge into the river?

Did any of Eddy's "special" cigs survive?

How many more clips of ammo does Sam have on her?

What happened to all those occultists?

Questions...

CORNETTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What??????  I thought you were going to disclose more about SHIVA

Whewwwwww...I almost bit the dust!  Can't say that I'm sorry Pisceeeee is gone (character only not the writer)  

I wish that both Leona and I could write an ending and then vote on which ending we like the best.  

Okay...huge mistake on Christopher Reed...should be Christopher Lee...now adjust the voice in your head and think of that voice   What can I say...I'm a goofy chick sometimes! lalalalalaaaa

Thanks Dreamscale for all your pirvate emails giving me shit on Christopher Reed!  It helped........

Oh, I already know how it will end:

INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - DAY

Sam snaps awake. She runs to the window and looks out onto her provincial neighborhood with children, families, and people walking their calm dogs. Sam's breathes a sigh of relief.

SAM
Oh, it was just a dream.

No it won't end that way because I'll be reviewing it before I post it.

According to the second result on Google image search, this is Christopher Reed:



The internet is stupid.

And George, stop being silly.  We all know this is Leona's dream.

That's Christopher Reeves!!!!!  I think she actually meant Robert Reed, doing a Mr. Brady V.O.

Hey, maybe Mike Lookinland could play 1 of the characters.  I think we definitely need Kirk Douglass to reprise his role as "Spur" from "Man from Snowy River" to play Wolf.  Oh shit, I'm laughing right now. That's how I envision Wolf though...funny...

Quoted from Dreamscale That's Christopher Reeve!!!!!

Allow me to assist you.

Wolf =

Wow Michael, you've done an amazing job with this last scene!!!! Really loved it!!!!

Holy guacamole and macaroni too. Yes Jeff, we do have tons of questions don't we. Yes indeedee.

Now, after all this, we have to vote!!!!!!!

Ahhhh shucks!!!!!!!! Well, maybe we can have Sam and Leona be the female counterparts to the Wolf/Piscivorus thing that was going on for aeons. Maybe they never knew that females would take up the sword in this age of ??? Aquarius?!   No, not Aquarius... Year of The Tiger?!!! No... That's the year I was born in... Ah... Well, Age of Something-or-Another...

And maybe... just maybe they shall not have died(as I had thought) for good this time, but instead, they carry on their life in the center of their cozy little vortices in the Eternal Woods where they can eat and drink  and have sex in lavish amounts with their Blessed Ones until the sun sets on another cycle.

But I still have to vote. Gee whiz.

Sandra

Shelton, your pic looks so completely differnt from those beard adn stache pics!  Unreal.

Hey, how do you import pics like that?  Throw in a pic of Spur and Grizzley Adams...please...

Quoted from Shelton Allow me to assist you. Wolf =

Very good one Mike. That's pretty much how my brother the wild mountaineer looked in his younger days-- well, not quite. He was not so big and didn't have the long hair. He had a big beard though and had the ruggedness going on.

Sandra

Georgie...I hate to dash your idea of what I would write as an ending...but it would be ANYTHING but that!! lol  

You might even be impressed...but the jury is out...so we'll just have to wait and see.

Good gravy guys!  Who would ave thunk that you could have so much fun with a wrong name.

WOLF...darling...I love a BIG burly man...with hair everywhere!  Oh baby!!! Shit it got in my mouth! lol

Quoted from Dreamscale Shelton, your pic looks so completely differnt from those beard adn stache pics!  Unreal.

That's just me "bein' sexy with my eyes".

No good pics of Spur, but here's Grizzly.

Quoted from MBCGirl Good gravy guys!  Who would ave thunk that you could have so much fun with a wrong name.

Are you kidding?  I could write an 8 page short around that.

Mikee...you are SO CREATIVE!   How do you post a picture in a post???

Quoted from MBCgirl Mikee...you are SO CREATIVE!   How do you post a picture in a post???

Go to Google image, find a pic you want, click on it, then click on see full size image.

Copy the url of the image, paste it here, and enclose it with [img] [/img]

Here's Sam   Hope this works...

MBCGirl, that has helped me make my decision, cheers

Although I always had Sam Fox in my head when picturing Sam...



*That is the only pic I could find with clothes on!

Well she's definitely a FOX    I like the welling chest....Sam will do a lot of heavy breathing in the last scene!  

Happy Friday night and here's to the imagination running wild! tee hee *wink

Come on shelton!!!!

That's sooooo turnof'ish

Shelton, is that you???

Oh my... is all i can say about the last...20 posts in this thread...

Also, I am a BIG fan of that underworld image...interesting movie.

The mustached woman though..that's...slightly disturbing.

Also, I am surprised that my character made it this far, regardless of the way this game ends I think you all did a great job with your writings. Fun stuff.

Quoted from Murphy Shelton, is that you???

No, it's my sister.

Yeah Baby...that's what I'm talking about!

Pia I love the its so tunafish!   I'm going to start saying that...for real.

Quoted from Shelton No, it's my sister.

She's hot, wish you had told me you had a sister. You should get her onto Skype sometime.

Quoted from Murphy She's hot, wish you had told me you had a sister. You should get her onto Skype sometime.

I'll try, but she's a bit on the timid side.  Don't tell anyone, but she's got a bit of a hairy lip and she's self-conscious about it.

I got a lead on who can play Timber   His name is "wolf"   That will make Jeff happy

Quoted from Shelton I'll try, but she's a bit on the timid side.  Don't tell anyone, but she's got a bit of a hairy lip and she's self-conscious about it.

Is she Brazilian?