Congrats, James!  You're on a roll and deserve a drink!!!

I think I deserve a drink as well for voting for your script.

Cheers, Mike. Thanks for running the challenge for us all. Great job.

Hey Kevin,

Thanks for the writing compliments. Steve can be a ghost or not a ghost - his real purpose here is that he's the been the driving force of Charlie's insecurity and planting the seed of his inadequacies. Yeah, it was actually an experiment. I was writing drama but couldn't really get it working as I wanted, so I bashed this out in an hour and then made a few edits. Jimmy and Charlie are not brothers. Abbie is under the desk 'cos she's a hypocrite. She wants to inhibit Charlie (like his father) but also eat her cake. The unfortunate thing for Charlie is that he's attracted to what he's most repulsed by.

Hey Ryan,

I'll touch on the Ollie bit in my next reply... but yeah, that Yeats quote is so true. Well, it's open-ended as to what has happened with Charlie's cock - perhaps he did get a huge schlong or maybe he's now a freak show with a badly disfigured member. But he does use the kit - I just ran out of space to concentrate on it more and thought we could all do without the imagery. On reflection, I could've written something quite funny with that and maybe I'll rewrite that to include it.

Hey Lib,

Danke. Glad to have raised a smile for you. And I will be looking forward to your script this week.

Hey Brett,

Again, blame will be attached below for the Ollie thing... but thanks for reading. Will get onto your script this week.

Hey Mark,

You sly dog, you! Yeah, Ollie and Alistair are recurring names I like to use. After reading you picking that up from Cruiseaholics, I decided to change Ollie but left the first one in - so I blame this thrashing entirely on you, punk. Nah, thanks for reading but any thoughts on it?!

Hey Darren,

We're very fond of tea in the Allen household but we'll get you some coffee if you come across for cream cakes! Cheers for reading.

Hey Gary,

Now I come to think about it, I wish I had played up the Janitor angle in a nod to the legendary Janitor. Glad to give you a chuckle or two there, mate.

And for Jeff and Pia, I feel it's appropriate to quote Alfred Hitchcock to simply say: "Thank you".

And congrats to James. Great work, mate and I'll look forward to what you and Libby will serve up for us later this week.

Names were revealed just as I was reading.  Simply put --- B got my vote though at the end of the day Walter's thinking doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense especially in a legal environment, A started okay but descended downward until I didn't really follow what was going on.  C was okay, a little garbled in the middle, dialogue was just eh, but the ending I kind of liked.

Quoted from Andrew And for Jeff and Pia, I feel it's appropriate to quote Alfred Hitchcock to simply say: "Thank you".

Was I being harsh? I didn't think I was. Nor did I intend to be.

Congrats James!!

Who wrote C?

Me neither, damnit!  

I wroteC

thanks for doing this Cornie.

Thanks to all who read and voted. Lightning struck for me when I read this logline, I've gotta admit, I think this is one of the better shorts I've ever done. Its definitely going up on the site in proper format. I won't change much, maybe make them a little older.

Alot of you didn't like Walter's "I'm still in love with you." line. I really just wanted to show some vulnerability to his character. Plus, maybe a reason why he would still stay with Terry eventhough she's such a bitch. He couldn't help it in away.

I enjoyed reading Andrew's and Gary's entries as well. There were alot of different ways to go with this logline. I thought we all did pretty good. Thanks again...

James

Quoted from screenrider Hundreds of members and only 12 votes?  What's wrong with this picture? Good job, J.

Yeah, tis funny that. Is not like it's hard to read a five-pager. Still, I like a low profile so I won't be complaining... and I look forward to going up against the reigning champ, J! Just let me know when, Mc.

Next Wednesday Libby (though Thursday for you).

Quoted from mcornetto Next Wednesday Libby (though Thursday for you).

Gotcha!

Quoted from Andrew I blame this thrashing entirely on you, punk

Lol.  It's funny.  If I wouldn't have read Cruisaholics that morning, I probably wouldn't have remembered Ollie because he had such a small part in EMD.

It started out pretty interesting, with all the porn things going on, very good insights into what kind of person Oll- I mean Charlie, was.

What really threw me a curve and lost me was Steve appearing and disappearing and even when he was there, saying weird things.  It's cool how you were taking the comedic route with this logline, but that scene threw me offbalance and I couldn't take my mind off of that for the rest of the story for some reason.

Lol.  Sorry again for stealing your focus.  I was wondering if I should've mentioned anything or not.

Good job to all who entered and congrats, James.

Hey Mark,

Thanks for the thoughts there, mate. Always appreciated. Yeah, I put Steve in there 'cos I thought it was important to show why Olharlie was so insecure how the size of his piece and the reasoning isn't down to the actual size, but actually because he himself feels small. After he started working as a cleaner in the porn offices, and seeing the beautiful girls, he thought he needed to boost himself and that's why he ordered the package. Really, this story is about quite simply about dealing with your insecurities and the lengths (pun intended) we'll go to better ourselves, or at least our image of ourselves.

Yeah, I see what you're saying about the shift. I was quite happy with this and despite its flat reception, I'm quite fond of this script.

Anyway, thanks again and I'll get to some reading later this week.