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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion  (currently 33241 views)
Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 18th, 2011, 10:12pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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I'm sorry, Jeff. In the way I had it originally planned, it wasn't you that was going to die. It just ended up that way... =)


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Grandma Bear
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:20am Report to Moderator
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Great work Sean!

Sorry I wasn't around to read it yesterday.

I see that my "Ripley" Rebekah didn't go over well and had to be taken down right away!!  


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darrentomalin
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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At least you didn't get drowned in a frickin' toilet lol


http://darrentomalin.webs.com/index.htm

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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Well, that's the thing. I (get it? Ha ha funny...) thought she was great and would probably do a good job, but the macho asshole-dom was bound to take over in really short order.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:29am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from darrentomalin
At least you didn't get drowned in a frickin' toilet lol


To quote Eddie Murphy in 'Beverly Hills Cop', "I got thrown out of a window!"


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:16pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Can someone answer this question?

This train that we're on heading to Union Station... How fast does it travel? How long would it take for it to travel 50 miles?

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Zanej
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:44pm Report to Moderator
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I would say approx 30 mph so roughly 2 hrs remaining till arrival in union station
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 10:58pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Zanej
I would say approx 30 mph so roughly 2 hrs remaining till arrival in union station


Thank you so very much, Zane. I'm working very hard with your character by the way, as well as others including my very loved "E". I'm having a hard time because I actually did get used to the letters and some I could interchange readily, but a few gave me the shift.

So yes, I'm working very hard. Whoever wants to help me, just let me know and tomorrow I'll send you what I've got. I truly believe it really works and I'd love for fresh eyes to see what might not be evident or clear enough. I'm very excited about the studies I've done on this script, what I've learned, and the whole thing in general.  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Zanej
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 11:07pm Report to Moderator
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You can send it over to me for a read b4 posting id you want. The end is coming like the way it worked with people dying leaving 1 person to sleeper car no one can monitor adother.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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I'd be completely open to reading whatever you send, Sandra. That is, if whatever you've done is sent within the next hour or so. Time restrictions... =(

If not, I'll read it along with everyone else as the game nears its conclusion. *cue dramatic music*


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darrentomalin
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 11:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


To quote Eddie Murphy in 'Beverly Hills Cop', "I got thrown out of a window!"


haha - at least "I"put up a good fight, the room was trashed!


http://darrentomalin.webs.com/index.htm

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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 11:39pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I'd be completely open to reading whatever you send, Sandra. That is, if whatever you've done is sent within the next hour or so. Time restrictions... =(

If not, I'll read it along with everyone else as the game nears its conclusion. *cue dramatic music*


I will send it over. Please make whatever cuts you know are needed.  

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 19th, 2011, 11:42pm Report to Moderator
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There aren't likely to be many. You and I have very different styles of writing, Sandra. But, I'll be happy to help where I can.

And, Darren, you wrote the scene so you know best. I always figured that I could kill anybody so I must've been rushed, tossed out of the train, then the stuff got ransacked with the free time. Crazy thoughts. And, a line from 'The Usual Suspects' keeps coming to mind, "But you didn't see him die." =)


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 12:02am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
There aren't likely to be many. You and I have very different styles of writing, Sandra. But, I'll be happy to help where I can.

And, Darren, you wrote the scene so you know best. I always figured that I could kill anybody so I must've been rushed, tossed out of the train, then the stuff got ransacked with the free time. Crazy thoughts. And, a line from 'The Usual Suspects' keeps coming to mind, "But you didn't see him die." =)


Thank you so much! I didn't even expect to hear from anyone tonight. It's in very rough shape right now, but I need a pair of fresh eyes. I spent a lot of time studying the script last night and wanted to try and balance character, intrigue, yes ...and fun and especially logic with why this was taking place.

I'd like to see the train in serious danger before we enter the next scene-- where if it doesn't stop, the Third Party wins so to speak.

Thank you so much for your help!   I'm spent.

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 12:04am Report to Moderator
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Just a heads up, Sandra. You explained your intentions in the E-mail, but you didn't actually send your scene. That is, unless you sent it separately or are waiting. But, whenever you send it, you're welcome. =)


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