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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Looking for some help... maybe a partner?? Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Looking for some help... maybe a partner??  (currently 1141 views)
DavidBrown
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 10:06am Report to Moderator
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I am brand new to this wonderful world of writing. Im a police officer by trade but enjoy writing. I have a script I have "finished", Id like to have someone help me polish it up, make changes, tell me what stinks and help me make it great!!! If your interested in a collaboration let me know. Take a look and see if you like the story Ive come up with and see if you can help me make it a sucess.
Im shooting in the dark here to see if anyone is interested.
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irish eyes
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 11:06am Report to Moderator
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To say your a cop , then tell us your shooting in the dark.....
Ill leave it there...

Where did you post it and whats it about?

Mark


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DavidBrown
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 11:22am Report to Moderator
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OK so that was a poor choice of words...it is posted on this site. It is "A. Lincoln"
I loved writing the story. It is about a history professor who receives a previously unknown manuscript of an interview with President Lincoln, days before his death. This manuscript was written by his G-G-Grandfather. Lincoln tells of his personal thoughts, feelings and heartaches during the CivilWar. A real feel of what this man was going through and the wieght on his shoulders.
I think the stroy is sound but as I have never done this before, I dont know how to really make it flow in the way it should so people will go "WOW"!!! Thats what Im hoping someone would like to do. Come in with me, read my script make changes to make it great.
What do you think??
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DavidBrown
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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Sorry for the typing...its been an long week and I cant spell worth a crap today...
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Felipe
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 12:01pm Report to Moderator
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You got me intrigued, but the your "logline" suddenly ended. What's the actual story you're telling? What repercussions does this manscript have on the present world, or at least the main character's world?


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
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DavidBrown
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 12:42pm Report to Moderator
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In a nutshell it is Lincoln's story, from his mouth, of what he felt, personally, during the events of the War. He spills out everything in this interview that is documented by the journal's author. Then, some 150 years later, the authors G-G-Grandson gets the journal. Once he reads it, hears Lincoln speak of all he went through, he has a new understanding of Lincoln, even as a history professor. No one, since it was written, had known of the journals existence or that this interview had even taken place.  In the end of the story, the professor must then decide what to do with the journal, keep it..donate it...
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 4:15pm Report to Moderator
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David

Welcome to SS.

Anybody who is keen to write and read is welcome here, but as you probably know by now it is a case of earning your way forward. You read people's scripts, they read yours back etc

I like your idea, I immediately thought of issues, barriers to this being interesting, lots of challenges, yet full of potential. Who is the protga,what is "their" story, rather than lincolns etc etc but I'm not in the mood to read a feature just like that.

As it happens, and of course this is very different, you may wish to check out scriptshadow.com, where he reviews a recent script about George washington, if only for his comments on historical scripts and their challenges.

In terms of format read and review scripts here, start in the shorts section ( oh and use the poetal icon) and you will learn a lot, not directly with your story, but as your experience developers you will realise what needs to be changed.

All the best.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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DavidBrown
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 8:16am Report to Moderator
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Thank you very much for your comments. As I said i am new to all this and any guidance anyone can give is well welcome.
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rc1107
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 8:45am Report to Moderator
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Hey David.

Is this a script you're just writing for fun, or are you going to actually try and sell it to a studio or company?

If you are going to try to sell it, it might be extremely tough to get somebody to bite on it.  Any studio will have trouble marketing it, mainly because Steven Spielberg's biopic about Lincoln (he's spent years working on it), will be arriving very soon, and of course, any Lincoln-story made after that will just be accused of latching on to Spielberg's movie's coat-tails and try to finish riding out that wave.

Your story actually sounds like an interesting idea, but unless there's something very different going on in Lincoln's life that Spielberg & Co. missed, it's going to be an extremely tough script to sell, unless you sit on it for another 15 or 20 years.

But if you're writing it just for fun and to learn, that sounds like a good way to start learning the craft.  My guess is by your final draft, you'll have the flashback format down pat.

- Mark


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DavidBrown
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 9:32am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Mark
It is different that Spielberg's in that mine is a fictional story based on actual events. I am a big fan of Spielberg and was a bit bummed when I learned of his progect. (not to mention the "Abraham Lincoln Vampire killer" what the _ _ _ _ anyway. It started out as just for fun but I liked the story. I hope someone see this post and maybe is intersted in helping out. Who knows what might happen right???
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