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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Martian Mayhem (Killer Game Discussion Thread) Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Martian Mayhem (Killer Game Discussion Thread)  (currently 22868 views)
mcornetto
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 11:16pm Report to Moderator
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This is the discussion thread for the Martian Mayhem (Killer game).  

To view the game thread click here.

ReneC is the Master Killer.

Map


Tracking

Revision History (50 edits; 1 reasons shown)
mcornetto  -  October 3rd, 2012, 9:06pm
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mcornetto
Posted: August 31st, 2012, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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THE RULES

The object of this game is to end up as the sole survivor.  

THE PREMISE

Due to the dangerous conditions, isolation and hardship involved building Mars base, it has been decided hardcore convicts will be provided a chance for early release by serving their time building the base.   In the past, things have gone smoothly - it seems like this approach might be an effective means of rehabilitation.  

Several politicians have built their careers along with the base and it's time for them to visit.  Unbeknownst to them, on their way to the planet a series of murders has taken place on the base.  The killer is unknown.

YOUR TURN

When it is your turn I will send an email stating that it is your turn.   I will also post that it is your turn in this discussion thread.  Refer to the discussion thread to get information you will need for your turn.  

You must kill one player character that has already been introduced.

In your email, I will provide the name of characters you may not kill.  One of these characters is the killer, so you can and should implicate one of these characters in the murder.  You may also be provided with additional instructions which you will need to follow.

You may move two characters from the room they are in.  The rest have to stay where they are.  Once you move a character though, you can move them as many times and places as you want in that one turn.  If you accidentally go over then don't panic - it's ok but don't abuse it.

For new concepts and terms you may only use what's in the lexicon.  Don't start creating technology, slang, or history - use what's available.  Again, if you accidentally break this rule then don't panic - it's ok but don't abuse it.

You will write a scene and post it in the game thread.  

You have 24 hours to acknowledge my email. If you do not acknowledge then your turn will be postphoned or cancelled.

You have 48 hrs to write your scene + or - a few hours.  It is recommended that you choose one of the other players to read your scene post before you post it.  

Please tell me as soon as you can if you will not make your turn so we can keep the game moving. Don't be afraid to communicate your scheduling needs.  

A player still continues to write even after their characters are dead.  They just write about other characters.

FIRST TURN

During your first turn, you will introduce your second character.   Please send me the new character's information and history so that can post it.  You can PM it, email it, or post it in the discussion thread.

FIRST ROUND

There will be a resurrecution of one player's character at the end of the first round.  

WHO IS THE KILLER

I will pick the current killer randomly from the introduced characters.  I will post a poll every few turns with all the characters that are still alive and you will vote on who you think the killer is.  If the majority gets it correct, then I will randomly choose another character as the killer.

GENERAL SCENE GUIDELINES

Keep it real.

You may create incidental characters but please try to stick to the player characters.  You may also kill incidental characters you create or that other people create and leave lying around.

These incidental characters should be genrically named: CONVICT, POLITICIAN, GUARD.

Or may be referred to in groups: CONVICTS, POLITICIANS, GUARDS.

A scene can be no longer than one post in a thread.  If you use Word then this is somewhere around 7,850 characters including spaces and lines.

All formatting will be left aligned (see game thread for example).  All locations slugs should be in bold. [ b ]slug[ / b ] <- like that without the spaces.

You may have more than one location in your scene.  

Don't assume the general areas specified on the map are all one big room.  They each can have many rooms, nooks and crannies.  Just specify on your slug if you're somewhere special.

If you introduce another character please consider the bio given by the player.

As well as killing off a character, develop "story" during your turn.   This means having characters interact with each other.  However, your character doesn't need to interact with every other character.  Limit the character's relationships to just a few other characters each.  This will make storylines more pronounced.

Make the reading interesting and move the "story" forward.  

I'm putting story in quotes here because there really isn't much of a story here, because more than likely there will be many fragments of stories, after all this is a game.

Good luck and let the thread know if you have any questions (I edited this rather quickly so you probably will).Martian Mayhem (Killer game)

Revision History (1 edits)
mcornetto  -  August 31st, 2012, 11:57pm
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 12:13am Report to Moderator
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Chaos isn't a pit, it's a ladder.

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Nice start michael. you have more writing talent in your pinky finger than i do. you may want to resize the map again like the other thread.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 1:19am Report to Moderator
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lol.

The map should set it's size to whatever size your browser is.  Is it causing you to scroll sideways?
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 2:38am Report to Moderator
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Chaos isn't a pit, it's a ladder.

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yeah, at full screen im having to scroll sideways quite a bit.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 9:43am Report to Moderator
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It shouldn't be wider than your page - it's actually impossible for it to be wider than your page.  Are you using your phone?  What browser are you using?  

Is anyone else having this problem?

EDIT:  Ah! You must be using IE.   Looking into it.

EDIT:  There's not much that can be done with the image in IE because it's determining the size differently than all other browsers.  I made the picture a bit smaller for the time being - but will see if I can find a better solution.   Would suggest using a different browser if you can because IE is a piece of crap.    

Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
mcornetto  -  September 1st, 2012, 10:46am
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 3:15pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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True, but I really, really don't like Firefox. I'll just deal.


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grademan
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 6:33pm Report to Moderator
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Nicely done Michael!

I mistakenly spelled my character's first name with one L. You have it correct in your scene as Elliot. Could you correct the character list? Thanks.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 8:17pm Report to Moderator
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The best alternative to IE is Chrome.   Much faster.  

I can make the image smaller still but it's going to start to get hard to see.  

Fixed Elliot but you won't see it until after Blonde goes and I update things.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 1st, 2012, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
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Ok. Best I can think of to do.  

Both the map and tracking are at 50%.

When you move the mouse over them they expand to 100%.

When you move the mouse off of them then the go back down to 50%.

Hope that works for everyone.
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 4:34am Report to Moderator
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Good job Michael, you set things up pretty nice. Interested in seeing where this goes,


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 11:00am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Michael,

Can you skip my turn, please? Today's just been a fucking mess. Thanks.


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alffy
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 3:00pm Report to Moderator
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Is it me or is this sounding awfully complicated?  I bet I'm the first to break the rules. lol


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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M.Alexander
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I have a sneaking suspicion Alan the computer is somehow linked to the killings.  Kind of a play on HAl from 2001; Space Oddyssey.  
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mcornetto
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 4:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Michael,

Can you skip my turn, please? Today's just been a fucking mess. Thanks.


I'll postpone your turn.

However, you should let me know if you want to postpone within 24 hours.  It doesn't only affect me when you change the schedule - it affects everyone playing.  

Thanks.  
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mcornetto
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 4:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
Is it me or is this sounding awfully complicated?  I bet I'm the first to break the rules. lol


I was the first to break the rules... so you don't have anything to worry about.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from mcornetto
I'll postpone your turn.

However, you should let me know if you want to postpone within 24 hours.  It doesn't only affect me when you change the schedule - it affects everyone playing.


I apologize for that, Michael. I had it written last night but then had those questions for you which required me to re-write then today was completely fucked and I was hardly on the computer today. My bad. Won't happen again.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 7:14pm Report to Moderator
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No worries.  Hope everything gets sorted.  

I did want to take this moment and address those that think it's complex.   There's really only three rules to follow each turn.


Kill an introduced player character

We need this rule because we need to end up with only one player character surviving at the end.  

Why will I send you a list of characters not to kill?

To allow for certain storylines and suspicion to develop.

Only move two characters from the room they start in during your turn

In the original Killer game there was a rule like this - however it was more restrictive because it only allowed you to move one.  I relaxed this rule for later games but ended up with people moving crowds around.   Not only is this difficult for me to keep track of, it's annoying to read.

Only use the terms and history provided.  Don't create new ones.

This rule is here because certain people who've played this game in the past like to go off on tangents and introduce all sorts of new concepts in the middle of a game.   This is annoying to those who are playing and have to try to both understand and continue these concepts.  

In addition, you must introduce your second player character on your first turn

Because there's kills every turn characters are going to be leaving us rather quickly.  This is to keep the gene pool fresh at the start.

Anyway, hope this helps.

And remember, this is a game, the rules are there to structure the game fairly and make it a more enjoyable experience for all involved.  
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 7:25pm Report to Moderator
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I guess that makes it my turn.

I'll get right on it.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 7:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matt Chisholm
I guess that makes it my turn.

I'll get right on it.


Did you get my email?
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 7:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mcornetto


Did you get my email?


I got it, thanks.

Seems like I have a fair amount to do.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 2nd, 2012, 7:43pm Report to Moderator
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If you have any questions or need some help.   Let me know.  I should be around my email all day.
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 1:43am Report to Moderator
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Just posted the second scene. Hope it's to your liking.

Thanks to Michael for helping with the clean-up.

Enjoy!


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 2:02am Report to Moderator
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Excellent work Matt.  

I especially like how you used the FMD and left a piece of it around as a clue.

Penoyer79 is up next.  

I'll update things and send an email when I get home from work -- so in a couple of hours.

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mcornetto
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 5:34am Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated - email is sent.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 5:40am Report to Moderator
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Oh and Blonde is now between The boy who could fly and alffy
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 7:36am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Okay. That should be better, hopefully. Thank you.

EDIT: That was good stuff, Matt. Somebody's using an FMD to kill people... *cue dramatic music*


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grademan
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Matt,

Damn fine job! Seamless.

Gary
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mcornetto
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 7:32pm Report to Moderator
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Penoyer's entry is on it's way.  

Here's his character...

LEON NAPIER (28 ) Captain of the Guards

Speaks with a thick French accent. In peak physical condition. Flamboyant. Wears a perfectly trimmed Hitler-style mustache. Loves expensive wine and Opera.

Son of wealthy French businessman, Bernard Napier. Bernard is the chief financial backer of the Mars Colony. He is not an official Politician, but his checkbook has virtually every meaningful politician deep in his pocket. Bernard is seen by many as the world’s next rising global tyrant in the vein of Hitler, Caesar, and Napoleon. Bernard threatened to pull funding on Mars when he learned that Prisoners would make up the work force. Bernard eventually relented on the condition that his son -Leon- would run and personally oversee the Prisoner Workforce.

Unfortunately for the prisoners, this apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Leon himself is a dangerous sociopath with a Machiavellian mind/lust for power. With his father’s political clout and Commander Farthing’s mutual contempt for PIGs (and unwillingness to rock the Napier boat)… Leon is allowed to run rampant, abusing both his authority and his workforce with diabolical impunity.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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I'd say he's like Clancy Brown in "Shawshank" except Bob Gunton still pulled the strings. An interesting sort of fella...


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 3rd, 2012, 11:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I'd say he's like Clancy Brown in "Shawshank" except Bob Gunton still pulled the strings. An interesting sort of fella...


Bob Gunton was The Man on Shawshank. there was no disbute there. Nothing happened on Warden Norton's watch that he didnt approve of or know about. Captain Hadley was simply an Enforcer.

On Mars... the line is much more blury and complicated.

Farthing - runs the facility....he's a man of ambition and accomplishment...but as michael wrote in his bio - he boils down to a glorified 'yes man' because he's afraid of conflict and afraid to get his hands dirty.

i think he smells the winds of change back on earth... and the best way to continue his meteoric rise to the top - is to use this job - and Leon - to get in good with Bernard.

of course the rub in all this is the murders . Farthing could very well be responsible. if he is.. i see it as he's finally snapped...and is now making some sort of power play.

and if Farthing is not behind the murders.... either way he's looking at a very serious showdown with Bernard Napier - who will not be happy with Farthing when he learns of all this chaos and bloodshed going down on his multi-billion dollar pet-project...all of it happening on Farthing's watch. With Leon now on board Mars... Farthing is well aware he has become both expendable, and the perfect fall guy.

this gives both men a very powerful motive.

Revision History (1 edits)
Penoyer79  -  September 3rd, 2012, 11:34pm
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mcornetto
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 12:29am Report to Moderator
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Good going, Penoyer!  So, I guess Connie bit the dust this time.   Be sure to clean up the rest of your �

You can avoid this problem by doing a reply to the thread rather than a quick reply from the text box at the bottom of the thread.  Also, always use full edit because quick edit will change certain symbols.

Or

You can paste your post to a simple text editor (like Notepad - I use Notepad ++ which is free and provides some additional functionality) and then copy it from there.    

Nawazm is up next.    I'll update and send an email after I'm through with the rest of my work day.  
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 12:46am Report to Moderator
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haha yeah...poor matt has no one but himself to blame. i couldn't believe how beautifully he set his own character up to die.

and poor Dash... i dont think he'll ever get over this one.  

i think i got all the symbols cleaned up... let me know if you see anymore.
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Matt Chisholm
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Quoted from Penoyer79
poor matt has no one but himself to blame. i couldn't believe how beautifully he set his own character up to die.


I had an inkling she wouldn't last long. The black guys never do in these scenarios.

Nice scene though. You set Leon up pretty nicely.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 3:54am Report to Moderator
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All updated.  Email sent.

Preparing poll.
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 5:47am Report to Moderator
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nice work everyone! People are dropping like flies. I wonder if any martians are gonna show up!  


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mcornetto
Posted: September 4th, 2012, 5:55am Report to Moderator
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nawazm11
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Hmm, looks like everyone has been introduced. Guess that gives me a little less freedom.
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Penoyer79
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Sen Warren is actually in the Commons... or heading to the Commons...
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nawazm11
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Quoted from Penoyer79
Sen Warren is actually in the Commons... or heading to the Commons...


Noted.

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mcornetto
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 12:26am Report to Moderator
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To the new folks...

Just because you have 48 hours to post, doesn't mean you should wait 48 hours before posting.  

We kind of like to keep the game moving at a brisk pace if we can.  You can help with that by posting as quick as possible.  


Thanks.
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nawazm11
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Sorry everyone for taking so long. Jeremy Graves' bio is coming in the next hour but I thought I should post the scene to avoid any more delays.
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nawazm11
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Jeremy Graves, 29.


Born in one of the worst slums in New York, Jeremy Graves lived in a large warehouse with two thousand other people for most of his life.

As a child, he was always interested in mechanics and computers, searching every dump in the city to find spare parts for the gizmos he was working on. Although he made many interesting gadgets, no one dared to look at anything made by some rat from the slums.

His big break came at the age of eighteen, when he stumbled across an old motherboard from a used IBM 5100. From there, using his years of experience, he designed one of the most advanced robotic systems known to man. A computer with a faster processing time than any normal human being. It could interact and see all, even developing feelings if told to. With that, he was hired by Microsoft immediately.

For years, he was never credited for the design, eventually bursting and leaving his job. He then began working on his next project, ALAN, a computer that can run whole bases and buildings with no aid from a human. When he finally finished, he discovered that the US government was building a base on Mars and were looking for expert programmers. After hearing that, the first thing he did was reveal his design. The funders were amazed, offering him one of the highest paid jobs on the base which he happily accepted.

He moved to Mars Base when construction ended, working with many of the staff to perfect ALAN's duties. When alone, even though he seems happy, Jeremy hides a terrible secret about ALAN. One that no one but him must know, only at gun point will he reveal it to anyone...
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mcornetto
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 7:07am Report to Moderator
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Good job nawazm.   I like that sneeze is red (I added that to the Lexicon).


Everything is updated (I hope I got it all right) and email is sent.  


The boy who could fly is up next.


Couple of things that came up....

1.  Always include the map location on your slug.  It might be a bathroom but you should slug it as INT. COMMONS - BATHROOM because I have to keep track of this stuff and it's confusing if you don't include the map location.  

2.  Try to spread people around a bit more.  The thing about these games is that people seem to want to bring everyone to the same location.   Try to avoid that.  Smaller groups -  different locations will make the reading much more interesting and easier to follow.  Plus it gives you more time for story development for the characters involved.

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The boy who could fly
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Oh Jeebus, my turn is next, kinda confused as to what to do since everyone is pretty much clumped together no one can really be the killer since everyone is with someone, this is gonna be a challenge!


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Mr. Blonde
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Whatever you do, try and make it easier for me when I go in after you. Lol. I'm just kidding. Make it as hard as possible. =)


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The boy who could fly
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I'm gonna have to break one of the rules in a big way to get some things straightened out. I  suggest that from now on, before and right after a kill all characters should be alone, that will make everyone a suspect, I do have an idea, but i am going to have to break some rules, but i think it will make it easier from this point on.


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George Willson
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 8:34am Report to Moderator
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What? Rule breaking? You can't break the rules! That's against the rules!


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alffy
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 12:41pm Report to Moderator
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I think my turn is coming up and I've hardly read any of it yet..oops.  Best get this thing read and keep track of what is going on.  I knew this would happen, game starts and suddenly I'm mega busy doh!


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 2:23pm Report to Moderator
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jeez nawazm tried to off both my guys in 1 turn....even after he said how much he liked them
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nawazm11
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Quoted from Penoyer79
jeez nawazm tried to off both my guys in 1 turn....even after he said how much he liked them


The problem here was that there were too many characters with other characters. I should've tried to fix that on my turn. I actually really liked Andrew's back story, I wanted to see where it would go but I had no choice .
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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Michael, is there any possibility we could drop the stipulation that we can move "X" amount of people "X" amount of times? If so, it'd certainly open things up a bit more.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 9:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Michael, is there any possibility we could drop the stipulation that we can move "X" amount of people "X" amount of times? If so, it'd certainly open things up a bit more.


No.  It gets too crazy and hard to read if I allow that.    What I will say is that you can accidentally break the rule and I won't complain - unless you abuse it.


And actually the rule is you can move two characters any number of times.   That's almost 1/4th of the cast.  

PS: If you want to see how crazy it gets with unlimited movement - go read Murder on the Simply Express.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 10:46pm Report to Moderator
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I loved how that one went, though. That was my favorite of them to read (I wonder if participating had some effect on that). I read Lake Simply and wasn't too partial to that one. S.S. Craven was just a disaster. I thought we really (okay, not really, but close) got into a rhythm with "Murder".


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mcornetto
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 10:52pm Report to Moderator
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We did,  and overall I found that game enjoyable, but the crowds moving together had to go.  This is the only way I can think of to prevent it but still give people some creative freedom.    
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 11:01pm Report to Moderator
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I think it would've worked better if you switched them. "Murder" was much more contained which made it better to restrict movement, whereas "Mayhem" is so wide open, we'll never be able to explore everything you built. Just saying, though. =)


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mcornetto
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 11:02pm Report to Moderator
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Well, like I said.  If you accidentally break the rule about two people - and you don't abuse it, then I won't complain.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 6th, 2012, 11:12pm Report to Moderator
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I may have to make double sure I don't "break" that rule when my turn shows up... =)


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 1:47am Report to Moderator
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as far as character movement is concerned. maybe the writers can pitch in by keeping track of character movement in their own scenes....

then along with submitting their scene - they  simply email michael a list of who has moved where...

then all michael has to do is edit the map.

FOR EXAMPLE - USING MY SCENE...
Senater Warren --> corridor between Common and Guest Quarters
Jenna Drast-->Guest Quarters
Leon Napier -->Guest Quarters  (New character)
Connie - Corridor outside Medical (Dead)
Dash --->Corridor outside medical
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mcornetto
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 1:52am Report to Moderator
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Though it does make it easier on me if fewer characters move - that isn't the reason for the rule.   I'm fairly certain it will make a more readable script.
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The boy who could fly
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Okay, I'm pretty much done, but I'm tired so I will finish it when I get up. I got most people seperated so it's not one big clump, so it should be easy for the next person, but I did have to break a rule, but I think from now on it will be pretty easy to manage. And yes, this entry will be pretty digusting and depraved, I should get my ass to church!


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 9:28am Report to Moderator
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And, I have to be the one that goes after you? Whenever I write, my characters are very subdued! Damn you! Lol. =)


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Penoyer79
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i cant help but wonder how this would have turned out if it were Martians killing the crew memebers

i think a "Survivor" aspect would be an interesting tweak to this format. everyone creates a character they hope will be the last one standing.  but intead of killing eachother... its an x-factor killing them off....
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The boy who could fly
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Valentina Santiago, late thirties.

She is the multi billionaire financing the mars project. Born into a wealthy family, her father owned and ran a science research company in her home town of Zaragoza Spain called "Descubrimiento"

Her mother died during child birth and was raised soley by her father who got her into science and business.

By the time she was fifteen the company was worth over one hundred billion dollars, mostly due to discovering the cure for aids. By the time she was twenty the company was worth almost five hundred billion dollars, and when her father died six years later in a mysterious boating accident, she became head of Descubrimiento.

Known to be vicious and cold, she is a true business woman who never takes no for an answer and always gets what she wants and has the money and power to destroy anyone who gets in her way. She cares more about profit than a cause.

She is also known for her sexual exploits taking on many lovers of both genders, she is also heavy into sadomastic sexual activities including bondage and mutilation. Some of her physical alterations are having her tongue forked like a snake and her eyes dyed yellow.

She financed the mars project in secret, only a select few know of her involvment, and even fewer know the real reason why she is doing this.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 6:59pm Report to Moderator
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Well, that was quite an entry, a few typos but it made me jump a bit at the end.  

The plot thickens....

Blonde is up.

I'm about to head out for a few, I'll update things when I get back in a few hours.  
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Penoyer79
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I have a feeling Valentina may know the Napier family quite well.
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
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Interesting entry. And by interesting I mean WTF, dude?


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 8:34pm Report to Moderator
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How the fuck do I compete with this? Dialogue is what I do best and I have to do better than literal forked tongues, ripping still-beating hearts out of people's chests? Come on, now... That said, the new girl is certainly an interesting addition and a complete wacko... but different and exciting are good times.

EDIT: I think I may have cracked this one but I need to create five different documents to keep track of this. May have it up tonight. May not.



Revision History (1 edits)
Mr. Blonde  -  September 7th, 2012, 8:52pm
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The boy who could fly
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I wanted to take things down a darker path, make it a little more sinister and I thought Valentina would add a more sadistic and Immoral tone to the story, and also I thought we needed reason for this mission. I think there are a lot of possibilites, curious to see where it will go from here.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 7th, 2012, 9:01pm Report to Moderator
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Well, I'm going to continue to take things down a darker path with my new character and we're about to go into lockdown. I just hope I can make it stick.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 12:30am Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated.

Everyone pretty much seems to be in the Crew and Guest Quarters.  

This is why you should use the Map Location in your slug, so you know if you're mixing it up or not.

(and btw I allowed a lot of additional moves for that turn so please don't try to convince me that allowing additional moves will spread people out)

Looking forward to reading what Blonde writes.
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nawazm11
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WTF???

Oh, wow. I should've killed Jenna myself to avoid her having such a gruesome death... I'm still so bummed that she's gone...

Blonde, you must avenge me!
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 1:16pm Report to Moderator
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Made the cuts. If anyone is interested in proofreading this for me, I'd appreciate it. If not, I'll post it right now.


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Mr. Blonde
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Burt Bell - Guard

As the guard who can get it for you, Bell operates like any profitable business should. He finds a group of people willing to buy and sell products at a price they're willing to pay. In the case of the prisoners, he trafficks in drugs of all kinds and charges as much as ten times the street value.

Of course, price gouging like this does not go unnoticed as Leon demands 40% of Bell's business just to operate. This was merely the final nail in the coffin for Bell who knows he should've been Captain of the Guards but was passed over for the promotion (and salary) for the rotten bastard Bernard Napier's son, Leon.

That said, being around drugs that much, the temptation was always there for Bell who broke the cardinal rule in a moment of weakness, "Never get high on your own supply". As a raging cocaine addict with an anti-Napoleon Complex (picking on people smaller than him because he knows he can beat them), he never was one for feeling anything genuine for another human being until he found Constance Harris. It was never made official to anyone but rumors swirled that he liked her, in one way or another, but hid behind his hulking 6'7", 286 physique of solid muscle. Thing is, no one knew for sure if he actually cared about her or if he just saw her as another untapped customer base.


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grademan
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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I can proofread it. Send it to my email.

Gary
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
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Up. Thank you, Gary, for helping me out. You spotted some good things I didn't even notice. Hopefully, it's to your guys' liking.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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Good stuff, Blonde.  Quite dense but interesting nonetheless.  

Just woke up here, so I'll update things once I have a cuppa.  

It's alffy's turn.  
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mcornetto
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Everything is updated.  Email is sent.  

Looking forward to seeing where alffy takes us next.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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Just a heads up, Michael. Burt Bell is 46. Nothing that has to be altered this second, though. =)


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 8th, 2012, 8:35pm Report to Moderator
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Well done sir.
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nawazm11
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Oh, man... Both my characters dead.

I quite liked this one actually. Really opens it up for the next person.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 9th, 2012, 5:22pm Report to Moderator
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No word from alffy yet and his 24 hrs is nearly up.   ReneC should get ready because it might be his turn a bit early.  
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mcornetto
Posted: September 9th, 2012, 9:50pm Report to Moderator
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ReneC is up.   Apparently, alffy is lost in space.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 8:43am Report to Moderator
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Oh, I see what you did there, Michael... =)

Alffy did say that he hadn't actually caught up with the story yet. It probably takes the whole 48 hours just to figure out what the hell is going on in this crazy Mars colony.


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alffy
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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Okay guys sorry for the silence but I'm currently dying with 'Man Flu'.  I gather I've missed my turn so do I get to go after ReneC?

I'll read through everything and work on my next character, Michael.  I won't do my part yet as I'm not sure if I'm still next or not.  With the way I'm feeling I reckon I'll be pulling a sickie tomorrow so I could defo get a bit done then.

Anyway, let me know if you can Michael and sorry again.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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alffy
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 10:27am Report to Moderator
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Right I've read through it and....Jez! What the hell is with the crazy bondage chick Valentino! lol.  One wonders what goes on in Jordan's (the boy who could fly) head?

I've had to make some notes as it's getting a bit hard to follow with some writers suggesting a few sneaky sub-plots.

Liking it so far though and hopefully I'll pull through this flu to see the end lol.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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George Willson
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 11:00am Report to Moderator
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I'm casually reading it through until I actually to deal with it, myself since I get to go last. Figure there's little point in sorting out much of anything until it is my turn to try to make sense of it.


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ReneC
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Working on my pages now.


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George Willson
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 12:31pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Michael, I finally had a good look at the map, and for the first time, noticed you had the names of the deceased hiding out in the background. Further study revealed you have lines pointing to the places where they were made to be deceased. Useful info, I would say, for tracking purposes. If I may be so bold as to suggest, you should use a different color for them. Red on red is rather unfriendly and makes their lines somewhat difficult to trace at a glance. Just saying.


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ReneC
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PATRICIA HEMSWORTH (44, Mess Cook)

Born in Iceland to immensely rich parents, Patricia never wanted for anything while growing up. She lived the Richie Rich lifestyle, buying and investing on a whim but with the heart and conscience her older brother, Oliver, never exhibited. She tried to get along with Oliver and always looked out for him, but it was like mixing oil and vinegar. Worse, she was the clear favourite of her parents.

When she was 30, her parents were killed by a devastating volcanic eruption in the Phillipines. Despite their will leaving the majority of the estate to Patricia, as the eldest heir her brother used his power and political connections to wrest the entire estate away from her, including her own assets and accounts. Worse, he ruined her reputation, burning every political connection she had.

Penniless and thoroughly cut off from her former life, Patricia was forced to start fresh with a menial job as a school cafeteria cook. She excelled, as she did in everything, and soon was running her own catering business in the US. But just as success seemed imminent, her brother once again took it all away from her, buying or sabotaging whatever he could of her business.

Around that time, an opportunity for a mess cook opened up on Mars. She jumped at the chance, hoping her brother's reach would not extend to another planet, and has spent the last two years keeping a low profile in the Mars Colony.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 10th, 2012, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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Cool.  Looking forward to seeing what you come up with, Rene.  

George,  The last known room of each character is on the character tracking sheet - if you have questions about where they died.    I can try to tweak the color on the map but my purpose was to give a ghostly feeling for the character names visually - kind of a memorial - rather than for tracking.  Originally my plan was to remove them from the map entirely because they clutter up what you really need to see but since I can keep them there in a unobtrusive way, I decided to leave them on the map.

alffy, hope you're feeling better.  If you think you'll be well enough to take your turn after Rene, let me know.

Michael

  


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alffy
Posted: September 11th, 2012, 2:20am Report to Moderator
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Michael, I'm dying but it might brighten my day to have my go


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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ReneC
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Done and posted. Enjoy!


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George Willson
Posted: September 11th, 2012, 2:53pm Report to Moderator
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Hm. You killed off the one I wanted to kill off. I'll have to pick a new target.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 11th, 2012, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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I think this one had an interesting way to it. Our leader is officially down and... "melonized". Now, ALAN is fucked up and the facility has been breached. What's going to happen next?

One thing, though. You had "Smithers" as Patricia's last name at one point. Just a heads up.


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George Willson
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
One thing, though. You had "Smithers" as Patricia's last name at one point. Just a heads up.


I just figured it was an alias.


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ReneC
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Quoted from George Willson


I just figured it was an alias.


Yup, it's an alias.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 11th, 2012, 4:25pm Report to Moderator
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Excellent work Rene.  

Alffy's  up.  Will send him an email but can't update things until I get home from work tonight.

EDIT: Ok.  Email sent.

EDIT:  And btw, Rene, did I mention that I get to kill two characters during my second turn?

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Mr. Blonde
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I should've figured it was because you seemed to have put a good amount of thought. But, I didn't want to gloss over it and have it be a mistake. I'd rather look stupid (perfectionist at work...).

And, Michael, I'm praying you don't kill both of mine. I know you're strongly considering it. I know how you operate... =)


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Penoyer79
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uh-oh... Farthing's gone....

who's going to stop Valentina and Leon from running amuck?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 5:10am Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated (I hope correctly) and alffy has confirmed that he will be posting.  Looking forward to seeing what twists and turns things will take.
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The boy who could fly
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The main character is dead!!!! Things are gonna get crazy i bet!


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Mr. Blonde
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Yeah. "U" lasted a lot long in "Murder", as I recall. You were one of the last four or five. Seems people aren't as down with your leadership abilities this time around...


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LESTER MARLEY (35) OPEA – Off Planet Enforcer Agency.

From a working class background and proud of it, Lester joined the Army from school and worked his way up to the rank of Lieutenant during the War of the Middle East conflict.  It was during a stint in Syria that Lester earned his reputation as a ruthless soldier.  Outnumbered and outgunned, Lester led his platoon in to the city of Damascus and freed the captured Greek Politician, Dimitris Pritas.

Little is known of Lester’s background and this suited the OPEA who recruited him after the war.  Keeping to himself and with a no nonsense attitude he’s not a man to be crossed.

His main duties with the OPEA are to oversee and protect politicians on Mars.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 10:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
His main duties with the OPEA are to oversee and protect politicians on Mars.


Good ol' Senator Andrew Warren may have a few things to say about Lester's ability to protect the politicians.

However, I do like the sound of an... almost mercenary-type (or private security, either way) coming into play.

We're getting some nice, solid characters into the mix, here. =)


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alffy
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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He might not have been sent to protect everyone?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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alffy
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 2:45pm Report to Moderator
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Okay so I've wrote my bit but I don't think it's as big as most, is this a problem?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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George Willson
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 3:00pm Report to Moderator
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As long as it gets the job done, the rule of screenwriting is "less is more" right?


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mcornetto
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
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How's it going, alffy?
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alffy
Posted: September 13th, 2012, 4:18am Report to Moderator
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I'm done but just going to give it a once over.  Be posted today, Michael.  

Sorry if it seems a long wait but due to time zones I receive your emails in the middle of the night lol.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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alffy
Posted: September 13th, 2012, 4:51am Report to Moderator
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Okay posted.  Like I said, it's a bit on the short side but I didn't want to move too many people about.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 13th, 2012, 5:08am Report to Moderator
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Dang, now both my characters are dead.

Not a bad entry, alffy. Nice work on that kill.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 13th, 2012, 6:04am Report to Moderator
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alffy, Character Description????


and guys...the list of characters I give you in the email  are characters that can be the Killer.  You are not supposed to kill these characters.  

Revision History (1 edits)
Mr. Blonde  -  September 13th, 2012, 6:15am
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mcornetto
Posted: September 13th, 2012, 6:37am Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated.  Grademan is up next.
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grademan
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I'm on it guys!
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alffy
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 3:49am Report to Moderator
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Seems I fucked up twice lol.  Thought  I'd posted my character description and now I've deleted it.  Best write it again.  Sorry, Michael, I thought it was a list of possible victims.  Hope I haven't killed the killer?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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alffy
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LESTER MARLEY  (35) works for the OPEA. (Off Planet Enforcement Agency)

A large stocky man with skills in firearms and hand to hand combat.  He is a veteran of the War of the Middle East.

Proud of working class background, Lester Joined the army from school and worked his way up to the rank of Lieutenant.  Posted in Syria during the War of the Middle East conflict he showed his courage.  He led his platoon in to the City of Damascus and rescued the captured Greek Politician Nickos Selphandidis.  After which he was officially posted home but sources suggest he was hand picked to lead secret rescue missions inside Taliban held countries.

After the conflict he was appraoched by the OPEA and offered employment and became an Off Planet Enforcer.  His role is to protect Politician's during their visits to Mars.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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mcornetto
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 4:48am Report to Moderator
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Three times.  You invented a term, OPEA.  

But who's counting.
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alffy
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 5:11am Report to Moderator
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Oopsie lol.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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grademan
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 9:22am Report to Moderator
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Hey guys! It's in review, hopefully this afternoon.

Here's my second character.

Franklin Ford, 30s, Liaison to Special Envoy Cantrell

A short muscular man with dark skin.

A native of New York’s urban decay. His mother abandoned him early and he never knew his father. He wandered the city until he found refuge in a shelter run by Elliot Cantrell (during his one year sabbatical in the slums of New York) and was enthralled at Elliot’s passion for saving Earth. Elliot realized the worth of Franklin and hired him as a liaison which included training for valet, communications, protocols and bodyguard duties. When Elliot needs something, he provides it without question.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 2:27pm Report to Moderator
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That was an intriguing one, Gary. I mean, hell, Elliot must've died happy if he died by sneezing.

And, what's up with ALAN? We have ourselves a violent computer controlling the entire facility.

Good times, overall.


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alffy
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 4:15pm Report to Moderator
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Seems everyone is thinking of killing everyone?  

A nose orgasm? lol.

Shaping up now....


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 7:31pm Report to Moderator
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Things are sure heating up, man, everyone's head seems to be exploding!  


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mcornetto
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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Good work, Gary.   Pulled in lots of story lines.   Surprised you offed one of your own characters, however.

George is up next.   He has been notified and everything is now updated.  Good luck George.  

There's going to be a poll during Georges turn asking who we should resurrect.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 7:38pm Report to Moderator
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Oh, so George is last? Are we wrapping around (like in "Murder") or continuing in the same order as the first round?


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mcornetto
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 7:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Oh, so George is last? Are we wrapping around (like in "Murder") or continuing in the same order as the first round?


Not sure yet.  Probably same order but maybe a bit different.  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 7:47pm Report to Moderator
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Always trying to throw a wrench in there, huh, Michael? Damn you and your neverending cleverness. Can I steal some of yours?


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
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so we've got 5 of the original 10 characters left..... Quinn, worth, evans, dasher, and devlin  

and of course ALAN who makes Hal 9000 look like C-3P0
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 11:31pm Report to Moderator
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I was glad to see a new scene up this morning. Anything to distract me from this miserable hangover.

Pretty good entry, Gary. I thought the kill at the end was particularly nifty. It'll be interesting to see if George does something special for the end of round one.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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George Willson
Posted: September 14th, 2012, 11:51pm Report to Moderator
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My character #2:

Marty James, 43, Politician, Starting Location: Spaceport

Doctor & Professor Martin S James, PhD (but known as Marty James to allow people to relate better to him) came literally out of no where to be appointed by the President as Head of Homeland Security at the age of 33. From there, he relaxed the politicies that drew so much fire from the public since he believed that people were inherently good and punishing all the good people for the actions of a few evil ones were detrimental to the greater good. The public loved him, and he used this goodwill to grow closer to the presidents who were elected after the one who appointed him, making him one of very few cabinet members to ever retain his position through a presidential change when the president's party changed. The buzz is that Mr. James is on the right track to become President. His past is exemplary with the cleanest record any one has ever seen.

Suspiciously clean, some might say.

He acquired his high school diploma at 15 and acquired a Master's in Forensic Science at the University of Central Oklahoma by the time he was 19 while simultaneously and subsequently taking a variety of classes in business, law, music, engineering and political sciences. He notes that had he focused on just Forensics like his classmates, he would have finished quicker. He has since acquired PhDs in engineering, astrophysics, and political science. He became a Professor of Engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology at the age of 27 and unintentionally revolutionized security at the campus which led political leaders to him when it came to security of the nation. He owns several patents which has made his ridiculously rich, and as such, he works for the government without pay -- another point which has also served to endear him to the public for a future presidency. He refuses to run in his 40's, however, as he has noted that Presidents in their 40's rarely tend to do well. He always had a knack for reading people, and knows what the say to whom to achieve whatever it is he needs to achieve. It is extremely likely he was able to indentify the killer on sight, but neglected to say anything before acquiring enough evidence to convince the common person (as he tends to think of anyone whose IQ rests lower than his....which is everyone).

He didn't leave the ship with everyone else because he just didn't feel like associating with the rabble and listening to the inane questions they would lie about the answer to anyway. Of course, this is not to say he has remained on the ship this whole time. That would be lame.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 16th, 2012, 4:35pm Report to Moderator
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How's it going, George?  

And a reminder to everyone else - if you haven't voted in the resurrection poll then please do.  

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-collaborate/m-1347670404/
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George Willson
Posted: September 16th, 2012, 8:37pm Report to Moderator
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I'm going to get it done tonight. Rotten luck that my turn fell on a weekend when I am the busiest. I have a plan. Just need to write it out.


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George Willson
Posted: September 16th, 2012, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
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And there. While neither good nor bad, it provides a new character, carries on a couple of questions to deepen a plot I had nothign to do with creating and does something so dead obvious, I'm sure I just created a couple of targets.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 16th, 2012, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
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Nicely played, George.  And...



Quoted from George Willson
carries on a couple of questions to deepen a plot I had nothign to do with creating


That is the essence of collaboration.  So you get a ++ for that.


I'm up next.  Uh oh.  

I'll update things when I get home from work.  
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 16th, 2012, 11:37pm Report to Moderator
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ahh Dash... i had plans for him if he made it back to me..... oh well
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 12:48am Report to Moderator
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I have absolutely zero ideas for my next turn.

I'm counting on Michael doing something really easy to follow up.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 1:00am Report to Moderator
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The order of turns will change.  I won't know the order until it's your turn.  There will be a slight rule change as well.  I'll let you in on the specifics after my turn.   Suffice to say, it should make game play quite interesting indeed.  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 5:48am Report to Moderator
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Michael, stop throwing monkeys into the wrench. You're making it impossible to keep up... and, by impossible, I mean simple compared to the story that's actually being created! =)


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mcornetto
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 6:02am Report to Moderator
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You'll like the changes.  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 6:12am Report to Moderator
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You meaning me or you meaning us? Me? I get nervous when people make surprise changes. But, I will trust the Cornetto to see this Mars facility through to its ultimate destruction... =)


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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 7:22am Report to Moderator
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Seems safe to assume that from here on out things will get less and less complicated.

Unless we're introducing more new characters in round two?


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 7:39am Report to Moderator
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No new characters in round 2.
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grademan
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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George,

Good turn. I especially liked the way you got a shot in at UNIX - these near future settings are great for poking fun at today's world. Good dialog. Everything is blowing up!

Gary
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ReneC
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 1:53pm Report to Moderator
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Awesome kill, George. Dash would have appreciated it. Over quick, before the bleeding starts.


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grademan
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 4:10pm Report to Moderator
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Hey guys!

Having trouble with the story line? Moving the action forward? Me too. Here’s what I learned on my turn:

-- Pick two plot lines and develop them to longer scenes. They can be anything really as long as you make it interesting. Yes, that means plot lines will exist for just one episode or cover several episodes. Kind of like a character. When you try to develop
all the plotlines it gets messy in a hurry.

-- Pick a title for your episode that works for you. You don’t tell us officially. For example, my episode was “dome madness”

-- If you can’t move the action forward don’t waste effort, move on to one you can.

-- It doesn’t have to be max length but give it a try.  

-- Ask the players for help. This is key!

Probably obvious but it helped me have a milder panic attack when it was my turn.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 4:45pm Report to Moderator
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You know, Gary, I wish I had that checklist when it was my turn. I was so overwhelmed because The Boy Who Could Fly is so different in style than I am so picking up after that was a disaster. I think I had about six plotlines going on and actually had to cut it so it would even fit into one SS comment. I may have to try going by that li'l list on my next turn. Good call.


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 5:58pm Report to Moderator
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lol i think you guys need to take some anti-acids and just have fun.

this is a game not a contest.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 7:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Penoyer79
this is...not a contest.


Definitely up for debate, Penoyer. I mean, certainly none of will ever get paid for our participation in this but I like standing by my writing as the best I can do (given said guidelines and time contraints).

I absolutely have fun while participating, though, if that's what you mean. =)


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mcornetto
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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Ok. all is updated and Matt is notified.

Here's the new rules.

You have to kill one player character.  You can do this anyway you want.

However, that character must have been alone at the start of your turn.

In the event that there isn't a character alone at the start of your turn, you may kill any character.

You may move any number of characters as many times as you want during your turn.

The author of the character killed will go next.   In the event that author has taken a second turn then another author will be chosen.

Revision History (1 edits)
Mr. Blonde  -  September 17th, 2012, 8:31pm
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 8:47pm Report to Moderator
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Got the e-mail. Will get to work ASAP.

Nice entry, Michael. So is the killer dead? And if so, who's the killer now?


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 17th, 2012, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, Henry was the killer for the entire first round.   Now, it's mayhem.  I'm not picking a killer this round, it's every man or woman for themselves.  

And by alone, I mean the only character in a dome section.
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George Willson
Posted: September 18th, 2012, 7:50am Report to Moderator
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The way I approached my turn was to 1) figure out if I could do something different, 2) kill off a character of a player who still had 2 living, and of course 3) figure out a clever way to introduce my character as well as exploit my first character. Hence, I blew up part of the base, connected this idea to the guy standing outside, and connected this to Lester already going outside as well as having Lester be the guard of my new character. Then I just used the new artifact plot as filler while avoiding mentioning most of the characters Michael said not to kill.


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ReneC
Posted: September 18th, 2012, 10:11am Report to Moderator
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Interesting twist, Michael. I like it. Let the mayhem ensue.


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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 3:14am Report to Moderator
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Just a little update for those waiting on me.

I've got the basic idea for mine, though I'm not sure how much further it progresses the plot. Except for a small bit at the beginning there's basically only two characters. But it falls within the new rules, so hopefully it'll turn out okay.

Should be up some time tomorrow morning (my time).


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 3:34am Report to Moderator
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C'mon Matt, get that cock out of your mouth and post it!


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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 3:42am Report to Moderator
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Maybe if you would hurry up and finish it wouldn't be taking this long!


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 4:21am Report to Moderator
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How did I know you'd say something like that, now hurry up and swallow or people are gonna think you're straight!


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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 5:02am Report to Moderator
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I don't have time for your filthy nonsense, as sensual and alluring as it may be!

I've basically done my scene, just waiting for Flyboy up there to give it a once over, make sure everything is ship shape. Will let it marinate overnight, see what the harsh light of day does for it. Then I'll post.

Thanks for waiting, guys.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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alffy
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 10:14am Report to Moderator
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What the fudge?

Things have gone a bit crazy, Michael and I'm struggling to keep up with who's dead, alive and seemingly dead but actually alive.  Thank God for your tracker sheet.  Oh and Lester has bought it already, darn it!


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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George Willson
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 10:36am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
What the fudge?

Things have gone a bit crazy, Michael and I'm struggling to keep up with who's dead, alive and seemingly dead but actually alive.  Thank God for your tracker sheet.  Oh and Lester has bought it already, darn it!


Which is why Marty told him only to engage the killer if he has not killed yet. He predicted that if Lester tried to engage after the killer took out Dash (which he felt was obvious) then the killer would be on an adrenaline high from the murder and Lester wouldn't stand a chance. Oh well. He was a good bodyguard. Kept Marty under wraps the whole first half of the story. Marty always found him a bit impulsive though.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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Good work, Matt.  Everything is updated and George is up.

However, I did say the character you kill needed to be alone in a dome at the start of the turn and Adam wasn't.     I'll let it stand (Much to De Sean Quinn's relief) and use it as a chance to reinforce the instructions.  


Kill a character alone in a dome at the start of your turn.   You can look at the map to see this - but just in case it's not obvious I will be including who you can kill in future emails.

The reason this is done is because the player who goes before you can restrict the possible victims by leaving them alone in rooms.    And please note:  The rooms characters are in at the start of your turn are the last known rooms.   This means the last room they were in that had a slug.  Saying a character is going to another room does not put that character in the other room.  

Also the killer does not have to be an unknown figure.   Any character can kill or accidents can happen.  You are not restricted to having an unknown killer any longer.          
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mcornetto
I'll let it stand (Much to De Sean Quinn's relief)


I read this first, before Matt's entry, and thought to myself, "Please, god, tell me Matt didn't kill him."

That was an interesting entry, though. It seems as though Jenna and Valentina have a, um... history as well as Jenna and Adam. Kind of cool that with her resurrection, she's actually being utilized instead of just being killed off again. Good stuff.

I did have a problem with the unknown figure as well, though. Even if you didn't want to say who it was, you can kind of tell if it's a man or woman. That would add another layer of mystery as giving an idea without actually spelling it out.


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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the feedback, guys!

Michael, sorry about the mix-up. I must've read the e-mail wrong. I thought the dead character just had to be alone. My bad.

Blondie, that ending was actually Jordan's idea. I originally just had Jenna shoot Adam in the head and that was the end. It was Jordan's suggestion that an unknown person shows up behind him and blows him away before Jenna gets a chance to. I actually like it better this way.

I'd also like to apologise to George for making him go again so soon after his first turn. I just really wanted to kill Adam.  


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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George Willson
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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I was a little thrown off when I got the email. I had looked this morning and figured I wouldn't be up since both of my characters were hanging out together. Oh well. I do like his ending, but he would never have made a comparison to a "prom queen's virgin cunny." He was my Bond contribution, and Bond was never so crass.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 19th, 2012, 9:37pm Report to Moderator
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That's not Mr. Bond's style. Him and his white jacket and black pants. Bleh. Although, I can slightly imagine Timothy Dalton saying something similar in his heydey... =)


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grademan
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Hey Matt,

That was good. When Adam the only person to offer a way out is blown away and ALAN is offline, things are looking like mayhem! Ain't nobody leaving. Nope.

Give her a go, George!

Gary
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nawazm11
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Nicely done, I like where this is going. Jenna and Valentina? Was not expecting that from my own character. Hopefully George spares her...
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George Willson
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Action, too much exposition, and not a nice way to go from my end. Deeper and deeper goes the rabbit hole. I went early enough this time around to give everyone something interesting.


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ReneC
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Solid contribution, George. The curtain's pulled all the way back now...or is it?


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Mr. Blonde
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You weren't kidding about too much exposition, George, but it was definitely a good set-up for The Boy.

I like the ground-to-death death. Reminds me of the newspaper guy death from "Tomorrow Never Dies". Not Jonathan Pryce, but one of the lackey guys.

Anyway, good stuff and are there any sections of this Mars facility that aren't completely fucked at the moment? It seems like every section has been completely destroyed. Good times. =)


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Penoyer79
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Nice addition George..

love the subtle Fempiror plug.



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George Willson
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Quoted from Penoyer79
Nice addition George..

love the subtle Fempiror plug.





Well, I figured it is the grand unanswered Fempiror question, so why not? For what it's worth, I also ref Star Trek and Dr. Who. Of course, there's a Who reference is there that is exceptionally subtle and not in the laundry list of article titles. Kudos to whoever catches it. And then, of course, there's the deliberate aside that comments on the lack of contribution of Patricia and Bernard to the overall plot.


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grademan
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Okay. I get it. If you want a character to live, keep someone close at the end. Likewise, if you want somebody dead have them wander off by himself.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 20th, 2012, 3:24pm Report to Moderator
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Excellent entry, George.  

I have to rush out this morning to a very important meeting - so I can't update things immediately or send a email.  

The boy who can fly is up next.   Will send email and update when I get back in a few hours.
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Matt Chisholm
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Nice entry, George!

Flyboy's sure got his work cut out for him following that up.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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The boy who could fly
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I'm at work, won't be able to start till I get home, things will go beyond crazy I can tell you thAt


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 20th, 2012, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
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I swear to god, if you kill one of my characters (If you do, kill Burt. Lol) and force me to go after you AGAIN...


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The boy who could fly
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It will be bat shit crazy, like if the Texas chainsaw massacre, natural born killers and from dusk till dawn convinced a child, then had an abortion but the abortion survived and is now pissed off and is ready to unleash hell !!


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mcornetto
Posted: September 20th, 2012, 10:49pm Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated.  Flyboy has been notified.
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Mr. Blonde
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Anybody happen to have a running list of which areas have been destroyed and which ones haven't?


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mcornetto
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 12:05am Report to Moderator
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The only Dome that's been destroyed is Research/Medical and also the passageway between it and Engineering.  Is there anywhere else?
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Matt Chisholm
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 1:08am Report to Moderator
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That's it at the moment. But it might be useful to start keeping track of it somehow. Especially if Jordan's going next.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 1:18am Report to Moderator
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Do you think we need a rule about how much of the building you can destroy in one turn?
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Matt Chisholm
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Couldn't hurt, I guess. One dome per turn, something like that.

I mean that it might be helpful to keep track of which parts are destroyed and which parts aren't, especially if more of it is going to get blown to hell.


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 2:07am Report to Moderator
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Fair enough,

Consider that a rule.  If you feel you must destroy a dome, then you can only destroy one during your turn.

We'll worry about keeping track if it becomes an issue.
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The boy who could fly
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My  God, what have I done here, I will apolgize in advance to whoever has to follow me. I haven't even got to the kill yet, and, oh Jeez, Probably the craziest thing I have written.


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George Willson
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The hallway between Commons and Command took a hit by me as well. Theoretically, it is still there, but has been damaged to the point that there's no atmosphere in it, so it might as well be destroyed. In addition, the door from Command to that hallway is jacked up, and the emergency system sealed the door to the Commons from what's left of that hallway.


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The boy who could fly
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Submited, did a total genre switch, things are now in complete chaos, I have no idea what came over me Hope this doesn't piss anyone off.


Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I swear to god, if you kill one of my characters (If you do, kill Burt. Lol) and force me to go after you AGAIN...


I didn't, your character even gets to kick some demonic ass!


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mcornetto
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 8:21pm Report to Moderator
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So you did a Sandra on us.  


I would prefer it if you change it to be the correct genre but I suppose we'll live with it.  It better not derail the game.


Alffy is up next.  I'll update and send emails soon.    

Revision History (1 edits)
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Penoyer79
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
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GAME CHANGER!

it didnt derail the game.... its just gone from "who done it" to "survivor"

This one is all about Last Man Standing now.
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Mr. Blonde
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I didn't, your character even gets to kick some demonic ass!


Thank you, god, for not forcing me to go directly after this one. You just moved up in my Cool People-O-Meter for that one. And, I pity Alffy in the worst way right now. Good fucking luck figuring this one out, man. I feel for you.


Quoted from Penoyer79
This one is all about Last Man Standing now.


I don't know how any of us truly stand a chance against the Devil, his slave and those evil, little Imp bastards, now. It's going to be quite a toughie. And, Penoyer, you hit the nail on the head. We haven't had a true Game Changer to this point. This one was it.


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Matt Chisholm
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Jordan gave me a sneak peak at his entry last night and I was pretty excited to see how some of the other plays would react. I'm glad no one's too pissed off.  

Crazy entry, dude. I hope alffy's up to following you!


I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue bloods with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?
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mcornetto
Posted: September 21st, 2012, 10:49pm Report to Moderator
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Everything is updated.   alffy is emailed.  

Personally, I don't think flyboy's entry meets the spirit of this collaboration but if three of you (who still have a turn left) think it does and are willing to follow up on it then that's half of the remaining players so I guess it probably works.

alffy's up.  He was a bit like a frightened rabbit last time and it took all the energy I could muster to coax him out of his rabbit den - so everyone be encouraging this time and hope that he thinks flyboy's entry is "cool" too.      
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from mcornetto
Personally, I don't think flyboy's entry meets the spirit of this collaboration but if three of you (who still have a turn left) think it does and are willing to follow up on it then that's half of the remaining players so I guess it probably works.

alffy's up.  He was a bit like a frightened rabbit last time and it took all the energy I could muster to coax him out of his rabbit den - so everyone be encouraging this time and hope that he thinks flyboy's entry is "cool" too.


It definitely fucks things up (in good ways and bad. After all, some people have just been hanging out the last few go-arounds) but I wouldn't say it goes against the spirit of the game. Like you said, he "Sandra'ed". I think he tried hard on something that was either going to work or it wasn't. I'd say that I'd prefer if it were less supernatural-y but I wouldn't ask him to re-write it. It's his story.

However, I don't envy Alffy for a second. I mean, working off that is going to be hell. but there are always Deus Ex Machina workarounds to be had and maybe he'll find an appropriate one.


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mcornetto
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I didn't say it went against the spirit of the game, the game is a game and ultimately you take it where you want,  but it definitely went against the spirit of this collaboration.

The genre was most obviously sci-fi.  Changing genres in the middle of a collaboration is a no-no unless everyone agrees.  Otherwise, you end up with people who are suddenly writing a genre they didn't count on.  It makes people unhappy with the result.   I think that will be in the rules the next time we play because I see it needs to be spelled out.

Secondly, not a single term from the lexicon was used in that entry.  An obvious clue that the universe created by everyone here was not even considered by that entry.

But if everyone is ok with it, I'm not going to make a fuss about it.    

    
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Mr. Blonde
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Another thing that I think should be kept up with in the next one is a running list of plot notes. Some entries, things get brought up that are never heard about again. At some point, there's got to be some kind of consistency.

That's my take, though.


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Penoyer79
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with jenna now a lapdog of satan.... Desean Quinn is now the sole surviving "original" character

Michael,
adding some kind of markers/indicators on the map as to which sections of the base have been ruptured or are uninhabitable would be helpful


FYI:
if anyone passes on their turn.... i'll gladly volunteer to jump in.
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mcornetto
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Quoted from Penoyer79

Michael,
adding some kind of markers/indicators on the map as to which sections of the base have been ruptured or are uninhabitable would be helpful


Not as easy as it sounds.  

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Penoyer79
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you can do it like the characters? but instead of the name just have the word BREACH or RUPTURE pointing to the damaged area
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mcornetto
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I can but it's getting tough to read.
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grademan
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What's next? High School Musical?

Jordan, an exciting episode but when do we need imps and ohm San Tan ohm to do our killing for us?
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alffy
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So I have to follow Jordan...Jesus! lol.

A quick question to everyone; it says Imran is alive but I thought I killed him off with the devil's eyes?  Have I missed something?

I've also got two characters in the same location but apparently don't know each other are there?  Patricia and Franklin are both in Command?

My heads fried and I haven't written a word yet lol.

Will get this up tomorrow.....


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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mcornetto
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If the complete line is greyed out the character is deceased.  I just forgot to put a yes in the column.  
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mcornetto
Posted: September 23rd, 2012, 4:42pm Report to Moderator
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Good entry alffy, even though it's apparent you don't like to follow emailed instructions.  

So in a surprise move Jenna is dead, I think, which would mean nawazm11 is next.   So there's no confusion - he needs to kill Marty who is the only character alone at the start of his turn.  

I have to head out to work, so I can't update things until I get back home.  

Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Mr. Blonde  -  September 24th, 2012, 4:56am
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The boy who could fly
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Grear entry allfy, some good ass kicking in there! Excited to see where things go from here,!


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nawazm11
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Oh, man. WTF happened while I was away ? I really think the story shouldn't have swayed in this direction but people seem to be fine with it so I won't say anything.

I'll get on my turn tonight and make it more fucked up than it already is, a lot of fun on my turn.
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Penoyer79
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LOL... apparently we arent above "jumping the shark" on this board.
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mcornetto
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All updated.  Only six characters left to go.  
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George Willson
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What...the...hell...?

So when I left this on Friday, I was the last one to have gone, and the story was flowing pretty well. How did all hell break loose? For the record, I would have objected to the demonic twist. It doesn't make any sense in the context of the story. Was I surprised? Oh yes. Did I expect it? Not at all. Know why? Because I also don't expect a demonic horde to explode from the bottom of the parking garage as I walk to my car. Might as well have Mr. Bean show up with a vacuum cleaner to clear up the blood and have Darth Vader defeat Satan in an epic lightsaber battle and then have Mother Theresa drop down in in the Tardis to bless the planet. It would make as much sense at this point as what we've got going on.

Yeah, it jumped the shark, and I'm not above saying something.

It was going so well, too.


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alffy
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 8:11am Report to Moderator
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I never said Jenna was dead, did I?  I think I haven't made it too clear that I killed off DeSean and not Jenna?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Mr. Blonde
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I wonder at this point if it's possible that Michael could reset the game two turns? Technically, all that would need to happen is we determine where everyone was on George's turn and hopefully Michael kept the image from that one.

I will say that I wasn't thrilled with The Boy's choice of where the story went (and, if I had my way, we wouldn't have gone down that route) but he did appear to work hard on it and Alffy was just building off what The Boy did.

It's kind of one of those things. Do we ask them both to do another story in its place or just keep it and finish up?

P.S. I'm pretty sure DeSean Quinn was also killed in Alffy's section and, to be honest, if you were going to kill me, just let the Imps do it. Otherwise, I went out like a complete pussy. =)


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alffy
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 8:12am Report to Moderator
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Just read over my part and I can see why Michael thinks I broke the rules...again.  I should have stated that DeSean was dead and that Jenna, despite slumping, was still breathing.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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nawazm11
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 8:33am Report to Moderator
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Hmm, I'll hold off writing anything for now as there seems to be a little confusion and wait for Michael to decide. I also think we should reset the turn back if Alf and Boy Who Could Fly don't mind?
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alffy
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 8:49am Report to Moderator
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I'm on the fence about going back and getting Jordan to write his again.  Surely we have to accept what the previous writer does and continue?

Just to state again, I did kill off DeSean and not Jenna.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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George Willson
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 9:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
I'm on the fence about going back and getting Jordan to write his again.  Surely we have to accept what the previous writer does and continue?


Well, it's all a matter of the game and the rules. We set up a scenario and some rules to follow while writing just like playing Monopoly. If someone goes outside the rules down their own path, that would be like them getting annoyed with the length of the Monopoly game, taking all your money money and properties and declaring himself the winner. Dungeons & Dragons is probably a better comparison here, where you have a dungeon master with a scenario that all the players have to follow. Unless the rules of the game state that you can carry a bazooka, my orc is not allowed to kill your elf with one, even if I can produce the reasoning that he would even have one.

A satanic uprising in the midst of a science fiction story (without some sort of pre-established reasoning within the framework of the story) is grossly illogical. Science Fiction stories have gone down the road of demons, yes, but they always do so within the narrative and it always makes sense...ok, mostly makes sense. Suffice to say, it never catches you off guard.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 9:18am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
Just to state again, I did kill off DeSean and not Jenna.


And I hate you for it. However, I knew whoever wrote after The Boy was going to be the one to do it. Lol. =)


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alffy
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 9:45am Report to Moderator
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Actually I had no choice as DeSean was the only character on their own so his number was up. Sorry.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 10:12am Report to Moderator
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Actually, there were three people by themselves, but I understand what you mean. =)

I'm just trying to figure out in my head how, if we're able to, kill this monster demon thing. I see that as being quite the challenge... Where's that damn Deus Ex Machina when we need it?


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ReneC
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I would have preferred sticking within the established genre, but I'm flexible and will write to just about anything. A good lesson here, though, that one should never switch genres mid-story. You can combine genres, but that has to be established at the start to set up proper expectations of where the story will lead.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Ok.  If alffy says DeSean is dead and not Jenna then that means it's Blonde's turn (sorry again, nawazm11).  Franklin, I think, is the only character alone.    I'm up for a minute in the middle of the night here - so I'll update this when I get up it the morning.    Please make it very clear when a character is dead, thanks.

  
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alffy
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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I just added a few lines to my post so it is clear who is dead and who isn't.  Apologies for the confusion.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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grademan
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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Guys,

No reason to reset. If you want sci fi, have Franklin (he's slated for killing this coming episode) destroy whatever you want to change.
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George Willson
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 4:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from grademan
Guys,

No reason to reset. If you want sci fi, have Franklin (he's slated for killing this coming episode) destroy whatever you want to change.


That's right. It's actually a dreaded dream sequence where a series of accidents have actually killed some people while the person slept. Or maybe someone is on an acid trip and THOUGHT they saw the demonic stuff. You never know with sci-fi, apparently.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 5:30pm Report to Moderator
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All is updated and emails are sent.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 24th, 2012, 5:47pm Report to Moderator
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We'll see what I can come up with, but I'm not feeling nearly as confident about this entry as my last one.


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alffy
Posted: September 25th, 2012, 1:59am Report to Moderator
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I hope we don't see the dreaded 'it was all a dream' scenario.

If anything I agree with Gary's idea.

Maybe next time Michael will include, don't change genre to the list of don'ts lol.

On a serious note I don't have any problems with where Jordan went.  Collaboration scripts like this are surely a writing exercise and having to follow a new direction is a challenge, isn't it.  I agree it's gone off in a direction that most wouldn't have done but at the end of the day it's just a bit of fun.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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mcornetto
Posted: September 25th, 2012, 2:29am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from alffy
Collaboration scripts like this are surely a writing exercise and having to follow a new direction is a challenge, isn't it.  I agree it's gone off in a direction that most wouldn't have done but at the end of the day it's just a bit of fun.


But part of the game's exercise is collaboration and when you don't do that I would say that is probably the closest you can come to losing in this game.
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alffy
Posted: September 25th, 2012, 2:49am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mcornetto


But part of the game's exercise is collaboration and when you don't do that I would say that is probably the closest you can come to losing in this game.


Fair point, Michael.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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George Willson
Posted: September 25th, 2012, 7:15am Report to Moderator
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I suppose I should be comforted by the fact that my character has become the strongest one in the game... I don't think I would get a third turn anyway, but this pretty well secures that.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 25th, 2012, 11:59pm Report to Moderator
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How's things going, Blonde?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 26th, 2012, 8:32am Report to Moderator
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Yeah, I know I didn't respond back but it was because I had school last night but I was aware of your E-mail. I'm still working on it, but having a little trouble with the plot. It might be a shorter entry, but I should have it ready in time.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 26th, 2012, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
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Over twelve hours since I posted my last message and I've finally got some semblance of a plot. I have no idea how I'm going to not kill two or three people with this entry so the writing's going to be bad when it does eventually show up. Just preparing you all.


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Mr. Blonde
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Finally done. I slaved over this thing for the last five hours or so and I am so disappointed with it. Just had to get it done, though. Enjoy.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 2:58am Report to Moderator
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Good entry, Blonde.   You did very well - all things considered.  


Grademan is up next - he's emailed and everything is updated.
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grademan
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I'm on it.
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 8:16am Report to Moderator
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Pretty sweet entry! I don't know who is gonna survive this mayhem!!!


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ReneC
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You did a great job, Blonde.


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alffy
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 1:25pm Report to Moderator
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Good job, Sean.  Not many left now.  I'm trying to work out who's going to be bumped off next?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Mr. Blonde
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I wanted to give you a choice. Michael's rules said for anyone to be killed if nobody was by their lonesome, so I grouped them in two and three. =)

P.S. For anybody trying to think of a way to kill Marty, best of luck. I sat here for two hours yesterday racking my brain, trying to think of how he could be killed by someone. I've got nothing...


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George Willson
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
P.S. For anybody trying to think of a way to kill Marty, best of luck. I sat here for two hours yesterday racking my brain, trying to think of how he could be killed by someone. I've got nothing...


Gotta think outside the box a bit for that one. Guns and knives won't do it. It'll take something more creative than that, I think.



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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That's why I threw the final scene in there. Mars' atmosphere is nothing to him, either... That said, I'm not a very out-of-the-box type guy.


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ReneC
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Oh, I know what to do with him.  


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 3:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
Oh, I know what to do with him.  


If it's not him choking to death on a peanut, I'm going to be very disappointed... =)


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grademan
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There we go folks. Thanks George for the review.

Gary
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mcornetto
Posted: September 27th, 2012, 5:13pm Report to Moderator
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Well done, Gary.  I liked that you tried to bring a little bit of the original universe back.  

nawazm11 is up next,  I believe everyone is in the same dome - someone correct me if i'm wrong.  

Will update when I'm done with my work day.    
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Penoyer79
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never would have guessed Patricia would turn into Sigourney Weaver....

so its down to the final 4.... Rene, Blonde, George, and myself with characters still alive.
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Penoyer79
never would have guessed Patricia would turn into Sigourney Weaver....


That ended up happening with a female character when we did "Murder on the Simply Express", too... =)

EDIT: Good times, Gary, and a very quick turnaround. =)


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grademan
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Much easier to write the second time. My words just flowed once I thought of Patricia as getting in touch with her inner bitch. The ALAN thing is there if you want. I figured if Jenna died, Marty would be after Patricia like a horny dog. The big thing is they cooperated for the first time - looking back that may not have been wise. I left them together in the same dome accidentally. So your choice on the kill! I wanted Marty dead but figured killing Jenna would get to him.

Good luck with the last episodes!
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Penoyer79
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Marty has turned into the main antag... killing him there would have been a mistake.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: September 28th, 2012, 3:42pm Report to Moderator
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I've noticed that as this game has gone along (and all of them for that matter), we've actually begun to develop some kind of a narrative, ridiculous as it is. A few more of these games and some writers here may be fit for TV. Lol.


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mcornetto
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Everything is updated.   The last known dome for all the characters is the Spaceport, so nawazm11 gets to decide who gets it next.  I notified him last night.  
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nawazm11
Posted: September 28th, 2012, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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I'll probably have it finished by tonight, guys.
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Penoyer79
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I've noticed that as this game has gone along (and all of them for that matter), we've actually begun to develop some kind of a narrative, ridiculous as it is. A few more of these games and some writers here may be fit for TV. Lol.


its too bad we didnt think of "The Artifact" to begin with,
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Penoyer79
its too bad we didnt think of "The Artifact" to begin with,


My favorite part is that each character has their own style and motivation (in a way). If each character's reactions were written by the person who created them, they'd all have some kind of an arc and certainly enough backstory to be interesting. That's probably the coolest part of this game.

Although I will say that if there's a next Killer game down the line, it would be interesting if kill were not allowed during round 1 so each character really gets a chance to become developed.


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alffy
Posted: September 29th, 2012, 1:53pm Report to Moderator
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Just read your entry Gary.  Very good action and loved the spiders.  Very Alien like.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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The boy who could fly
Posted: September 29th, 2012, 7:41pm Report to Moderator
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Getting pretty action packed which I like, funny seeing how this is going, has a lot of creativity going on now.


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Penoyer79
Posted: September 29th, 2012, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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yeah but Leon Napier didnt turn out as sleezy and tyranical as i had envisioned him...he's actually turned out to be slightly heroic and helpful.

i had all sorts of nasty things planned for him until michael changed the batting order.... now i wont get to write until he's dead...
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Penoyer79
yeah but Leon Napier didnt turn out as sleezy and tyranical as i had envisioned him...he's actually turned out to be slightly heroic and helpful.

i had all sorts of nasty things planned for him until michael changed the batting order.... now i wont get to write until he's dead...


That's nothing. I created Burt Bell with the sole arc to kill Leon. But, since I was painted into a corner on my turn and I HAD to kill Franklin, I couldn't complete his arc because now they have to work together to kill Marty. My turn was the last time that would actually be possible, before they all knew about his powers.


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mcornetto
Posted: September 29th, 2012, 10:49pm Report to Moderator
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How's it going, nawazm11?
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nawazm11
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I should be finishing it up in the next few hours .
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Mr. Blonde
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Looks like I'll have to wait until the morning to see who the final three left alive are... *cue dramatic music*


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Penoyer79
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


That's nothing. I created Burt Bell with the sole arc to kill Leon. But, since I was painted into a corner on my turn and I HAD to kill Franklin, I couldn't complete his arc because now they have to work together to kill Marty. My turn was the last time that would actually be possible, before they all knew about his powers.


no shit? oh the irony. that's pretty funny actually.
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Penoyer79
no shit? oh the irony. that's pretty funny actually.


Oh, yeah. In Burt's description and the first scene of my second turn, that's what I was setting up and I would have done it but Michael threw a monkey into the wrench (by forcing us to kill who's alone) and killed it. Not his fault, though. That's an interesting way to write, although if you get painted into that corner, it makes your scene highly predictable. Can't please everyone. =)


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nawazm11
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Hey, guys. I'm finished, anyone want to give it a read before I send it in?
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nawazm11
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Thanks Michael for the read. It's up, guys. Hopefully nobody is angry with what I did.
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mcornetto
Posted: September 30th, 2012, 2:51am Report to Moderator
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Good job, nawazm11!   Alan has returned....

Penoyer79 is up next. He doesn't have a choice about which character to kill - though he has a difficult one to get rid of.  

He will be followed directly by ReneC who is fortunate enough to write our conclusion.  
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grademan
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M Nawaz,

Grittier than mine, I like it. Interesting stuff-- Jenna was the power? -- cool. Looks like Marty's viagra wore off and Patricia's PMS seem to be over. Good to see ALAN back.

Nice.

T minus 10 minutes.
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Mr. Blonde
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Well, Burt completed his arc which means he can go ahead and die now (after Marty, of course). I did like the emergency escape pod DEM but I was sad about all subtlety disappearing. Lol.

Good stuff, though, and now each character is on a level playing field. =)


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alffy
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Hey Mohammad, good entry.  I liked the tension before Leon lost his head, so to speak.

3 fight for 1 space in the pod then?


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Penoyer79
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Quoted from nawazm11
Thanks Michael for the read. It's up, guys. Hopefully nobody is angry with what I did.



you killed both my characters focker!  Jk lol

but at least you left me an easy lay-up for my entry.

i should have this done by tonight... barring Football doesnt consume me.
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Mr. Blonde
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I'm curious how you're going to kill our resident super-villain. More than that, I'm curious why Burt or Patricia would kill one another once he is dead... Lol.


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Penoyer79
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i'm working on mine now.... sorry i got tripped up trying to figure out a plausible and non-anti-climatic way of killing a seemingly invincible villain....
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mcornetto
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 1:09am Report to Moderator
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Um... it should probably be a climax.   There's only one more turn left after this one.
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Mr. Blonde
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Non-anti-climactic = double negative. Apparently, he meant climactic without saying it directly. Ah, the wonders of double negatives.

P.S. From Nawazm's version part 2, I'm worried that good ol' Burt is turning into a complete asshat and is destined to be disposed of by the more benevolent and (much) better done Patricia.

P.P.S. Michael, one thing to consider whenever we have our next game would be to drop the "kill the alone character" stipulation when there's only four people left, so that it's more a mystery of who's going to get killed. Just my opinion.


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George Willson
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:10am Report to Moderator
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Er, as a point of fact, I noted that in the script, it says that both Patricia and Marty are both present to see the pod. How is it that Marty is alone in the spaceport when he is with Patricia looking at the pod? Did I miss something?


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:17am Report to Moderator
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I'm not sure. The way I understood it, all three of them were in the hallway outside. Who knows?


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mcornetto
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:24am Report to Moderator
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Originally when I read it I thought all three were in the same place.  Then I read it again and thought it was just Patricia and Burt who were there.  On a third read, I find they are all in the same place.  

So, I must have gotten it wrong.  They are all in the same place.  

But, you know, it's pretty easy for you guys to look and make sure things are updated accurately and let me know if they aren't.  Thanks.
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nawazm11
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:26am Report to Moderator
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. I should have been a little more clearer. I wrote that Marty gets up after he speaks to Patricia and we cut to Farthing's Office. Later on, we see both Patricia and Marty there as they must've heard them fighting and decided to check what was happening. They were together in the spaceport before. Sorry about the confusion.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:29am Report to Moderator
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Actually, I think you confused me even more, although that's not exactly difficult. I blame pronouns.

Am I to understand that Patricia is the only one by herself now or is Burt the only one alone now? Or, are you saying they're all together?


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mcornetto
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 7:37am Report to Moderator
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I believe they are all together.
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George Willson
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Quoted from mcornetto
I believe they are all together.


I second that...and not because it is my character either. I suspect the end will go down in that office.


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nawazm11
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Quoted from George Willson
I second that...and not because it is my character either. I suspect the end will go down in that office.



Quoted from mcornetto
I believe they are all together.


Yes, correct. Sorry about the confusion, Blonde.
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Penoyer79
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does this mean i have creative freedom to kill whoever?
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mcornetto
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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You can kill whomever.  Though you should have it written already.
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Penoyer79
does this mean i have creative freedom to kill whoever?


That's code for "I'm going to kill Burt "The Scumbag" Bell. Probably.

First of all, he's a third wheel because that would leave us with one woman and one man, one good and one evil and... just because he became a tool. =)


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Penoyer79
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to be fair... Leon was the tool.


and dont get your panties in a twist...im almost done.
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Penoyer79
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Posted.

That worked much better than my other draft.

I tried not to be too predictable, but at some point you have to let these things just write themselves.
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mcornetto
Posted: October 1st, 2012, 10:47pm Report to Moderator
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Good work Penoyer79.  Just thought the last sentence wasn't clear.  Who has the artifact?

ReneC is up next.  Everything is updated and he's been emailed.
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Marty has the artifact...i believe there is a line that states this after Alan is summoned.
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ReneC
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I'm on it. Or will be, tomorrow. It's late. I know what I'm going to do, just need to write it (while pretending to work).


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George Willson
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Ooooh, so how will Rene handle it? Will Patricia triumph to give us the victorious good ending? Or will Marty win so we get the sequel worthy ending where Marty goes to earth to wreak eternal havoc? Find out next time...


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grademan
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Good one Penoyer79! Those imps are nasty and Burt died with action hero cool. And nice use of the spiders. Marty is certainly fired up. It's time to end the mayhem.
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The boy who could fly
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I'm rooting for Marty, I always like it when the bad guy wins!


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George Willson
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I'm rooting for Marty, I always like it when the bad guy wins!


Me too. Moriarty, I mean, Marty deserves a good win.


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Mr. Blonde
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I'm not so guys. I only like bad guys winning when they deserve to win. You know, when they're been smarter the whole time. Marty hasn't been smarter as much as he's been tougher.

My vote is for Patricia to find a way to take him down. Although, I would like to say that it would be cool to have the escape pod damaged and not allow whoever lives to get back to Earth, to have them stranded on Mars.


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ReneC
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Posted. Rush job, but I'm happy with it.


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Dude that was awesome.
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Quoted from Penoyer79
Dude that was awesome.


Yeah, me too.
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mcornetto
Posted: October 2nd, 2012, 7:40pm Report to Moderator
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Excellently done, Rene.  A conclusion worthy of the newest Master Killer.  Congratulations.

I'll tally up the Lexicon after work but it looks like Alan came up as the clear winner there.

Well done, everyone.  Now go and OWC.  
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That was good times, Rene. Very fun and an ending that somehow... fit (is that the right word?) into the story and offered a satisfying conclusion. =)


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George Willson
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Nice ending, Rene. Very well done.


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The boy who could fly
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Great ending to a crazy game. Seemed to go pretty well with a lot of energy and creativity!


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Thanks, everyone. I wanted to bring it all together and leave it with that satisfying feeling, so I'm glad you all liked what I did. I had the idea about Alan and the artifact since the genre-switch, so really I just let the story come out of that.

Good game, it was fun.


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mcornetto
Posted: October 3rd, 2012, 9:08pm Report to Moderator
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It's all updated.  Thanks again for sticking in there and finishing, all.
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took us just over a month to complete.  
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nawazm11
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Nice job, everyone. I thought this went pretty well. This should be somewhere around 70 pages, I'd think? So really, we all just wrote a short feature.
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George Willson
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A rough cut and paste of the text into word with a conversion to the proper font and pt size gives us 133 pages. Bit longer than a short. That's a feature that includes the deleted scenes. The last one I played was the Shiva game, and it was of mini-series proportions clocking in at 266 pages. I think they tried to make my second character part of the dark side in that one too.


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Penoyer79
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133 and we didnt even use the library! way longer tha i expected. thats 6.6 pages per entry on average.
not the most cohesive story...sort of a weird situation where the more upfront your character - the bigger the target they were for getting killed
we ended up with mostly under the radar characters at the end.

but there's some pretty good ideas in here...
.
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alffy
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Well it had some ups and downs, and some direction changes but we got there in the end.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Mr. Blonde
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Maybe next year when we (hopefully) do another one, we can go back to the old idea Michael brought up back in 2010, before we realized no one had any interest in it?

It was basically a bunch of killers who are travelling on an airplane and zombies attack. I think it would work better without the zombies and just have the Killer but who knows? Admittedly, it sounds like "Murder on the Simply Express" but I still think the idea had merit.

Anyway, just thinking out loud (for the future as we have an OWC and, for all I know, a 7WC coming up) because the Killer games usually turn out being good times and a fun way to waste a month.


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mcornetto
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
a fun way to waste a month.


Not a waste at all.  You get to exercise both your creativity and flexibility in a fairly unique way.    
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Mr. Blonde
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Waste was meant in a positive way. I always talk equate waste with spend. But, I do understand what you mean. =)


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the possibilities are limitless with this format.
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