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So, this damned pandemic has kept me and Dena from making any films lately. Last one we did was Call On Me in 2019. Then came the pandemic and both our families had some unexpected Covid related illnesses since then, but now we're ready to start again. We have two, possibly three short films we'll shoot in the spring of 2023. One will be Coulrophobia 2. It's my most downloaded script (almost daily) and most commented on film. This is where you peeps come in. We are going to shoot this one in a movie theater. We have a woman, same one as the one in the first film, who's going to meet with a friend to watch a romantic comedy. Her friend doesn't show up, but she decides to see the film on her own. She finds herself alone in the theater. Spooky... Then a guy comes in. He takes a seat in the back. To her disappointment, the movie turns out to be a film with clowns. Becoming increasingly uncomfortable, she looks over her shoulder at the guy. He now has a clown face. Unnerved, she checks again and now he's closer. After a moment she checks again and now there are two of them and they are closing in. They multiply and get closer and eventually she can't stand it anymore and flees the theater in terror. This is where we need help. We need a clever, funny, cute or otherwise fitting and satisfying ending. If you have the idea we end up using, you will get shared writers credit.
We are also doing a sequel to Them That's Dead. It will be called Them That's Undead. I know Bert is busy, but I so wish he would give us a hand here. We just ain't got the skills do write this one as well as the first one. That's a hint, btw...
Thanks Libby! And, anyone else who might be trying to come up with something. I've been scratching my head on this one. I have one way it could end, but I like it to have a little bit stronger finish than just peeter out lol. So I'm looking for suggestions for anything. Twist, funny, clever, anything...
We've been wanting to do Them That's Undead for years, we just can't write like that dude that wrote Them That's Dead. we would shoot this at Fort Matanzas rather than Castillo de San Marcos. Smaller, but easier because there's not so much tourists there. I also love doing films where I have to get costumes and props and such. Also, I want to make a better film than the first one. I have a little more experience now, so hopefully it would be much better.
Hmmm….what if, when she runs out of the theater, there are even more clowns outside. The nice, funny ones - juggling, handing out balloons and candy to kids and maybe a bus parked (more clowns in there too) with a large sign “Welcome National Clown Convention”. That would also explain the clown movie being shown. It was all perfectly innocent. The terror was only in her mind. Whew!
IDK, too cheesy?
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Hmmm….what if, when she runs out of the theater, there are even more clowns outside. The nice, funny ones - juggling, handing out balloons and candy to kids and maybe a bus parked (more clowns in there too) with a large sign “Welcome National Clown Convention”. That would also explain the clown movie being shown. It was all perfectly innocent. The terror was only in her mind. Whew!
IDK, too cheesy?
This is funny, and super cute. Love this idea.
I was thinking the movie theater could be just a tiny little box, and all of these clowns start pouring out of it like a clown car. But that's just a little gag, not a sufficient ending, unlike Kathy's.
...The friend who stood her up is actually the clown! Playing a trick because the protag insulted them somehow. Friend watches the movie smiling but then BOOM, a creepy-looking doll appears, multiplies, gets closer and he runs off because he has pediophobia. or...
... She runs through the door but into the movie as one of the clowns! she watches herself in the theatre (through the other side of the screen) as clowns appear again and scares her through the door, then BOOM, another copy of her appears in the movie next to her... she looks around and there are a shit-load of clowns and they are all copies of her, scared. she looks back into the theatre and another copy is there. a weird loop. or....
... She stops herself from fleeing, confronts the clowns, faces her fears, and shouts at them that they are not real, she will not be controlled by her fear. Closes her eyes, opens, the clowns are gone. even though there are clowns in the movie, she sits down to watch. Fear conquered. (Alternative ending: she confronts them, opens her eyes, the clowns are still there and slit her throat, she dead. Moral of the story is don't be ridiculous and confront your fears, they are fears for a reason!) or...
...Wakes up in a hospital bed - it was all a coma-induced dream.
How about she doesn’t escape, and she is absorbed by the theater of the insane, that being… she becomes one of them, that’s why there’s so many (Clowns). In the final scene she could see something like “Welcome Home Clarice” on the screen (of course Clarice is replaced with the character’s name here). Then… ‘Cut to Black’
Fade In:
… other patrons are seated in the theater, and another (different woman who has coulrophobia) starts to see the same thing (Clowns), but this time, she also sees Claire dressed as a sinister clown staring back at her… the theater absorbs those who have coulrophobia into the madhouse. A madhouse which they can never leave. Kind of like Jack Torrance in the Shining, the hotel absorbs them forever. Just a thought.
**Update** Just read your post again and saw that it should be clever, funny, cute or otherwise fitting and satisfying ending... this idea might be way too dark, I initially heard clowns and thought creepy stuff, lol.
I'll respond individually later today, but just wanted to pop in and say I dig some of these ideas. I might write a short script and see if I can incorporate some or any of them. They might be tweaked a bit, but spitballing always help. If you have more ideas, keep them coming. I won't forget.
I have a suggestion. Suddenly, the lights are off.When the lights are on, the clown disappears. She is relieved.When she turns to the screen, she sees the clown standing in front of it, holding an axe, walking up to her.
or.... The clowns get closer, she turns around to them and THEY scream, because they are in fact afraid of normal people (anthropophobia) who are not clowns. or/and...
The clown wakes up, it was all a dream. But he wakes up in a world where everyone is a clown, and a normal person is actually a comic entertainer at kids' parties and a popular horror trope.
Hmmm….what if, when she runs out of the theater, there are even more clowns outside. The nice, funny ones - juggling, handing out balloons and candy to kids and maybe a bus parked (more clowns in there too) with a large sign “Welcome National Clown Convention”. That would also explain the clown movie being shown. It was all perfectly innocent. The terror was only in her mind. Whew!
IDK, too cheesy?
Thanks Kathy. Not a bad idea. I do try to keep things fairly tame, even if not necessarilyG rated. I do like the idea of there being clowns outside too, but it would have to be of the more sinister kind. At least a little bit.
I was thinking the movie theater could be just a tiny little box, and all of these clowns start pouring out of it like a clown car. But that's just a little gag, not a sufficient ending, unlike Kathy's.
What if she left the theater, but the theater is just a tiny stop motion set piece and she's in someone's miniature town and that someone is a HUGE clown. Now she's stuck in his evil world?
...The friend who stood her up is actually the clown! Playing a trick because the protag insulted them somehow. Friend watches the movie smiling but then BOOM, a creepy-looking doll appears, multiplies, gets closer and he runs off because he has pediophobia. or...
... She runs through the door but into the movie as one of the clowns! she watches herself in the theatre (through the other side of the screen) as clowns appear again and scares her through the door, then BOOM, another copy of her appears in the movie next to her... she looks around and there are a shit-load of clowns and they are all copies of her, scared. she looks back into the theatre and another copy is there. a weird loop. or....
... She stops herself from fleeing, confronts the clowns, faces her fears, and shouts at them that they are not real, she will not be controlled by her fear. Closes her eyes, opens, the clowns are gone. even though there are clowns in the movie, she sits down to watch. Fear conquered. (Alternative ending: she confronts them, opens her eyes, the clowns are still there and slit her throat, she dead. Moral of the story is don't be ridiculous and confront your fears, they are fears for a reason!) or...
...Wakes up in a hospital bed - it was all a coma-induced dream.
Not bad, but I'm not a huge fan of, it was all a dream type thing. I like the idea of working the friend in there somehow.
How about she doesn’t escape, and she is absorbed by the theater of the insane, that being… she becomes one of them, that’s why there’s so many (Clowns). In the final scene she could see something like “Welcome Home Clarice” on the screen (of course Clarice is replaced with the character’s name here). Then… ‘Cut to Black’
Fade In:
… other patrons are seated in the theater, and another (different woman who has coulrophobia) starts to see the same thing (Clowns), but this time, she also sees Claire dressed as a sinister clown staring back at her… the theater absorbs those who have coulrophobia into the madhouse. A madhouse which they can never leave. Kind of like Jack Torrance in the Shining, the hotel absorbs them forever. Just a thought.
**Update** Just read your post again and saw that it should be clever, funny, cute or otherwise fitting and satisfying ending... this idea might be way too dark, I initially heard clowns and thought creepy stuff, lol.
Not too dark at all! I like your thinking. You baked in a lot of my favorite stuff there. Silence is one of my all time favorites as well as The Shining and I super love the idea of Theater of the insane! Am I able to pull that off? Now that's a different matter all together.
I have a suggestion. Suddenly, the lights are off.When the lights are on, the clown disappears. She is relieved.When she turns to the screen, she sees the clown standing in front of it, holding an axe, walking up to her.
Could work, but since it's called Coulrophobia, it should kind of all just be in her head. Other than that, you can never go wrong with an axe!
or.... The clowns get closer, she turns around to them and THEY scream, because they are in fact afraid of normal people (anthropophobia) who are not clowns. or/and...
The clown wakes up, it was all a dream. But he wakes up in a world where everyone is a clown, and a normal person is actually a comic entertainer at kids' parties and a popular horror trope.
I like that, but it's a little too similar to the Pumpkin Nightmare films Dena and I have made. Great minds think alike!
Going to the theater to watch a Rom-com with her friend. I think the friend thing is a bit of a wasted opportunity. How about instead, she is going to meet a dude she connected with via an on-line dating service or something – i.e., this is going to be their first real-world meeting. So it would go like:
Brief Opening.
Set up that she is going to meet her date at the movie theater. Maybe she is telling a bestie about it. Anyway, this could be a blind date, someone she found on-line – whatever. Maybe the friend gives her a warning about meeting strangers or something. Doesn’t matter - the point being she is going to meet this dude for the first time at the theater.
On the way there – she gets a text from him. He’s running late – He texts - Sorry. Just go in the theater and I’ll meet you there. Although annoyed/perplexed – she agrees.
Then she’s in the theater just like you have it. Maybe checking her phone for text updates from this dude – finding none. Then she here’s a noise behind her thinking it must be him, looks behind her with great expectation and – eeesh – it’s that clown.
Then another and another just as you have it now.
One last frantic text – WHERE ARE YOU!!????
He replies – in the rest room – only be a minute.
A sinister clown touches her shoulder or caresses her hair – whatever – she’s creeped out and bolts from the theater – hits the lobby – spots the male restroom.
She bursts in the restroom – YOU IN HERE?
From a closed stall – “JUST A MINUTE.
A moment of relief…. Until she looks down and sees two large clown shoes underneath the stall door.
From him from the stall: Did my friends show up….?
The door opens – she’s wide-eyed in panic as she sees him clad in macabre clown gear. Him: (Sinister) “I told them all about you… It felt selfish to keep you all to myself.”
CUT BACK TO THE THEATER – the CLOWNS are heading out to the lobby as we hear SCREAMS from our heroine.
eldave, for “not a horror guy” this is really good and pretty darn creepy! Of course this is the opinion of “and they all lived happily ever after” girl who is also non-horror, but I really like your idea FWIW.
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eldave, for “not a horror guy” this is really good and pretty darn creepy! Of course this is the opinion of “and they all lived happily ever after” girl who is also non-horror, but I really like your idea FWIW.
Thanks all for your input. I went with Dave's suggestion and wrote a short today. Attached link in case anyone is interested in how it turned out. We will probably tweak it some before we shoot.
Dave's idea, and your subsequent opener, great idea. Love the Carnie-type ticket woman! Not sure I'd quibble over anything but will read again later just in case.
Btw, care to share how are you managing to shoot in a movie theatre? Is it closed down?
Thanks all for your input. I went with Dave's suggestion and wrote a short today. Attached link in case anyone is interested in how it turned out. We will probably tweak it some before we shoot.
Libby, as far as the theater itself goes, I have no idea about the rest of the world, but here where I live in Florida, people just aren't going to the theaters like they used to. Most of the theaters are now available for rent for parties and such. I figured we'd be able to rent one of the auditoriums for a day for a reasonable amount.
Also, since there's not a lot of people going anymore, the ticket windows are rarely used. You just buy your ticket at the same counter you buy your nachos and beer, and popcorn, and Twizzlers.
In a pinch, I figured I'd save some money by playing the Old Woman myself!
Libby, as far as the theater itself goes, I have no idea about the rest of the world, but here where I live in Florida, people just aren't going to the theaters like they used to. Most of the theaters are now available for rent for parties and such. I figured we'd be able to rent one of the auditoriums for a day for a reasonable amount.
Also, since there's not a lot of people going anymore, the ticket windows are rarely used. You just buy your ticket at the same counter you buy your nachos and beer, and popcorn, and Twizzlers.
In a pinch, I figured I'd save some money by playing the Old Woman myself!
Sounds great! Yep, some of our theatres are the same but we kinda enjoy a private viewing when we get lucky at certain times of the day.
Haha! You do not qualify for 'old woman', but now I am looking forward to seeing your cameo.