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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Hitman Moderators: bert
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  Author    Hitman  (currently 2658 views)
Don
Posted: September 19th, 2005, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Hitman by Fechete Paul-Cristian - Comedy - Two step brothers start their hitmen career in the worse possible moment and soon find out that killing a man is no walk in the park. - pdf, format


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DOM
Posted: May 13th, 2006, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
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This is good. I'd say 4/5.
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ALIEN MAN
Posted: May 14th, 2006, 10:18am Report to Moderator
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I bileive in the paranormal

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Could you post it in some other format instead of PDF

Thanks. By the story it looks good.


Writing an action movie. EVery other script I was making got deleted and my PC crashed. MY action movie will be completed in about two weeks.
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Braksnen
Posted: May 28th, 2006, 9:36pm Report to Moderator
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I think it was pretty good, but there are a few mistakes. Like on page 2, you had:

                                 MiKE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                     Is this is it?...

Shouldn't it be, 'Is this it?'

Also on page 7 you had:

...Two huge TWIN GUYS, black suits, black glasses also, get off from the Cadillac...

It should be, ''...get out of...'

I'm too lazy to read on, so that ends my criticism.


I am an ex-con who has grown over the past several years. I hope it shows.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Braksnen  -  May 28th, 2006, 9:51pm
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Shelton
Posted: May 28th, 2006, 10:03pm Report to Moderator
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I don't think this guy is anywhere in site anyway.  Dom just revived an old thread.


Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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cristianfechete
Posted: June 2nd, 2006, 9:22am Report to Moderator
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Well, this is quite a surprise . I posted this script here a while ago and I just couldn't remember where I put it. Thank you for reading it, and thank you for your opinions. To tell you something about it, this is the first draft. I wrote it based on some ideas I had while I was under alcohol altered state of mind. I wrote two more drafts meanwhile, I'm still working on the last one, that is very different from what I posted here. I'll put it here too, once I finish it. Thank you again.


Produced screenwriter.
IMDB link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7521287/?ref_=fn_al_nm_3
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