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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Office -- "The Package" Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Office -- "The Package"  (currently 2071 views)
Don
Posted: February 7th, 2006, 10:41pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Office -- "The Package" by John Manson - Comedy - A fan version of the American adaption. I this episode, the office recieves a suspicious package.  - pdf, format


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cmill216
Posted: February 8th, 2006, 7:59pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, that was actually pretty good. Some really funny stuff in there, and I am a big fan of the show. You really did a great job of capturing the characters as well.
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Marshall Turner
Posted: February 9th, 2006, 11:38am Report to Moderator
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That was hilarious! I'm pretty sure you've considered becoming a freelance writer for "The Office", right?
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Jdawg2006
Posted: February 13th, 2007, 12:10am Report to Moderator
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I thought this was... decent. It just seemed a little out of character for some... mostly Michael, the most important character to get. Everyone seemed far to afraid of the box, even though many of them were joking. Dwight should have been the first and the only to really take the bomb threat seriously. You didn't give Michael enough credit. He isn't that paranoid. Jim, no offense, was boring, and his flirting with Pam was too strong, same for her.

It was a one story go, nothing else. Everything scene was centered around this package. It got really tiring after a while. Everyone knew the package wasn't a bomb, so Michael and Dwight became annoying by act two with their persistancy.

I'd give it a 2 out of 5. It had some lines that made me smile. It also just wasn't funny enough for an Office episode. I've read actual Office scripts on line and just reading them makes me laugh out loud. You seem like a humorous guy, you just didn't find the right jokes.

I feel like I'm being a little harsh. I dont' think a 2 our of 5 is bad. It's definitely decent. You had nice formatting, by the way.


this space for rent. $9.94 a day <--- doesn't get any better than that!
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