hey lesmort666, if this is your first script read here, I'm truly sorry!  There are some really good scripts around here. I think we're just trying to help usaking to better the craft of screenwriting.  

ok but their was no reason for your narrator to say those things, it made no sense to drug people in your house and have sex with them, you went into explicit detail about this for no reason at all and i didn't feel i reading a screenplay anymore but a confession of maybe a daily routine of yours.
usaking i am sorry i hurt your feelings.

and i apologize to everybody in the simplyscripts community and will resign form having opinions and comments, clearly i missed the point.
sorry again.

lesmort - I do forgive you for your comments. You are new, so I am not angry with you.

Most of my previous scripts are very similar to this one. They are dark, surreal, disgusting at times, and seem to not be liked by most people. You should try reading my second script posted on this site called "V". It's located in the Comedy section of SS and, as I remember, most people thought it was good.

Quoted from lesmort666 and i apologize to everybody in the simplyscripts community and will resign form having opinions and comments, clearly i missed the point. sorry again.

Don't be silly!! We love opinions from all people!  

i really did enjoy the beginning of the screenplay, i thought it was crazy but crazy funny.
take the narrator out dont be lazy lose the character dialog writer references and i would be on bored.
ciao

Josh,

I kept my word and read this.  Most of it anyway.  I think the only surreal thing about this script is that it managed to make it to 90 pages.

Quoted from usaking Greg - The first thing on my mind when writing a script is NOT the audience, and it never will be. That's the most absurd thing I have ever heard.

I actually said "when you're writing a script to present to the world" you should very much think of who your audience is.  I could go into a whole shpeal about this but...

...by page 30 it became evident that you could give two shits about your audience.  Literally.  The characters said it and I'm pretty sure at some point they were playing with shit.  Or piss.  Or cum.  Or vaginal diarrhea.  The first 10 pages actually had some form of a story.  It was bizarre, unfilmable, and pervertedly disgusting, but there was a story if that counts for anything.  By page 30 I started to just skim when all of the characters kept repeating how this is a shitty story and the reader is an idiot for continuing.  So 30 pages later of a narrator glorifying rape, pedophilia, and other nasty dogshitting activities, I just quickly scrolled to the end.  I dunno, I saw the names of Civil Rights leaders who had been assassinated but didn't read what they said, then at the end I didn't bother to read what those guys were talking about.  And even Osama made an appearance early on.

Uh what?

Honestly, what is this?  It was like a puppet show and you were talking to your characters in your mind, put it on paper, and decided to show it to the world.  This isn't a comedy.  This isn't even a shock piece.  Hell, this isn't even your everyday porno.  It's more like some bizarre fetish script for cum-guzzling pedophiles.  It's unfilmmable and for the most part it's unreadable.  

Quoted from usaking ...but that is what is so great about storytelling. In stories, people can make incest and pedophilia funny. Of course I don't agree with both of these subject matters, but I believe that I could make them funny.

There is absolutely nothing funny about pedophilia.  Period.

The weird thing is that you're probably the most normal guy in real life, right?  So, like, dude, what's going on here?  Why is this up here?  What is it?

The title is good.  The first part of the logline is okay (A little girl and her grandma go on an adventure to get her tampons back from the guy who stole them).  It doesn't really make sense but I'll go with it.  From that moment on it's in a world that no one would ever want to go to.  

You said your other scripts are a lot like this.  I'm very curious to know how you conceived this and what you're hoping to accomplish with it and what your thought processes were.  I am actually genuinely interested to know.  Otherwise, Trojan said it best; this is like a big "fuck you" to the reader.  

I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote from one of the characters, too.

Greg

There's nothing that funny about WW2 either. Estimates vary from 50 - 75 million. Depending on who you believe. Either way - biggest loss of life ever. And there is nothing worse. Not even pedos and their deeds.

The Jews lost 6 million people. The Russians lost approx 25 million people.

Don't believe me? Check for yourselves.

However QT did write and direct a recently rather successful drama comedy about it recently. Best Actor at Cannes too.

Comedy isn't really easily pigeonholed. We can laugh at anything. If it's funny.

"'Allo 'Allo!" anyone?

Comedy is one of the best devices we have to deal with tragedy.

I'm an ex Catholic. How do you think I feel about the current antics of my former Church who can't even apologise for the acts commited. Those in the know tell me it will get far worse for the Vatican. As if it isn't bad enough already.

Just cos the pedo thing is the present hot potato in media and minds doesn't mean everyone apart from the chosen few can write about it. Everyone, anyone is entitled to their opinion.

Land of the Free. Home of the Brave. Free speech for all.

What's that phrase Bill Hicks was so fond of. Oh Yes....

Quoted from Bill Hicks RIP You are free America! Free! Free to do what we tell you. Go back to sleep. Here is six hours of American Gladiators... Go back to sleep. Your government has figured it all out. Go back to sleep...

yes, yes glorifying rape and pedophelia is not o.k. so don't bring it up because honestly this should not be tolerated, on a public domained website, because their may be some young writers and this could de sensitizing to some because of your miscreants, you miscreant, young people are very suggestible.
take it off and think of the people before you of your generation and how you will affect them, as far as i can tell from your profile you are 18 yrs old, which mean that you are considered an full grown adult, take responsibility and move on from childish things.
so stop it, STOP IT, YOU should be ashamed of yourself.

i did read about ten pages of "V" although weird again i thought is was funny, and plan on finishing it soon. as far as i can tell their does to be some outrageous story and character development that could possibly be made into a comic but nothing else but i do have to finish the rest for my full opinion.

V does seem to have some qualities to be produced into a "underground" comic maybe, but i can't exactley say until i read it in its entirety.

but this script again is filth and can't get over it, it has honestly has left me disdained and will never be produced by anyone and probably should be deleted from history so that if you do want to have a possible career in the cinema industry no one can ever use this against you and tarnish your name.    

WHOA!!!!!!

Quoted from rendevous However QT did write and direct a recently rather successful drama comedy about recently. Comedy isn't really easily pigeonholed.

Inglourious Basterds was a film that punished the people who committed the atrocities of WWII.  It was a drama that happened to have humor.  Nowhere in that film did it make light of or make jokes about the Holocaust or 50 million people dying or that war is funny.

Quoted Text on a public domained website, because their may be some young writers and this could de sensitizing to some because of your miscreants, you miscreant, young people are very suggestible.

It's the Internet.  There's far more desensitizing things out there than text in a word document.

like what? i have browsed the internet for this past decade and this is the only i came across this vile and disgusting.

I don't think you have read the "narrator" in the whole script, i don't think know one has who argues with me. read it.

I haven't read this particular script, but I'm not a stranger to usaking's scripts so I feel I don't need to read this one to get an idea what it is. I can tell you though that I've read and seen some really bad things on the web. It's out there. I seriously doubt that a lot of "kids" are going to come to this site and read this particular script. Lastly, this is Don's site and if he wants it posted, he can post it. It's not for you to decide.

Quoted from lesmort666 but this script again is filth and can't get over it, it has honestly has left me disdained and will never be produced by anyone and probably should be deleted from history so that if you do want to have a possible career in the cinema industry no one can ever use this against you and tarnish your name.

Too late... mauaahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah -  Oh, wait.  It's not worth keeping on my hard drive that long.  Then again, I think people arguing over this bit is a bit of a waste of time, to be honest.  Let the dude write what he wants.  

I personally don't like seeing people get fucked up and mutilated but you still see people going to Rotten.com, don't you?  

I personally don't like pedophilia myself... But the reality of the situation is, it happens.  And nothing is safe from parody.  Certainly not the truth.  Not saying this script has anything grounded in truth but there is a reason the guy wrote it... He probably used it as an exercise and is probably loving all the attention he's getting from it.

I'm sorry you're traumatized by it... Hell, I kinda am too.  But this one time I seen a guy get his head blown clean off at the jaw bone by an inflatable raft.  It upset me a great deal but as long as I let it bother me... I bet me talking about it bothered more people.  

Basically, just shut the fuck up and let it go.  And, if you look on the sunny side of the calico cats ass here... The script sucked so bad no one impressionable will want to read past 5 pages.  Rest easy.

Quoted from lesmort666 like what? i have browsed the internet for this past decade and this is the only i came across this vile and disgusting.

You've never been to efukt.com, have you?

so don is an advocate of pedophilia and date rapist how too's , i'm not kidding this is not a script or a screenplay past 30 pgs to like 60 to the 70th pg. its a mockery of the art screenplay writing, its a big bitch slap to face who take this medium seriously.

freedom of speech is ok, and so is mine.
and so is common sense and reason honestly take a look at this.

and being rick rolled is horrendous. lol