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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  True Criminals Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 6th, 2022, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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True Criminals by Robert Bryce Milburn and Richard Adrian - Comedy, Crime - Two farce criminals take the fall for a celebrity's death in order to profit off of a Hollywood buyout. 149 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Stoneyscripts
Posted: September 11th, 2022, 1:42pm Report to Moderator
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Just read the first ten and loved it! Greatly scripted thus far and the characters are amusing.


My Screenplays
Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
The Blue Room
No Time For Love
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring
The Bigger The Storm
Before She Died

And many many more...
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screenwriter
Posted: January 31st, 2023, 11:11am Report to Moderator
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I Like it a lot. in fact I'm going to read it again.  I also have a series of shorts on two characters from my 8-book Dan Marlowe/Hampton Beach, NH Crime Series.  Eddie Hoar & Derwood Doller are two bumbling, low-life beach hustlers.I don't like farce in  yourlog line, though.  How about blundering, bumbling or other, instead?  I'll let you know any other thoughts after 2nd read through. later today or tomorrow.
Best,
jed Power
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eldave1
Posted: January 31st, 2023, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
INT. POLICE BREAK ROOM - NIGHT

Two grubby redneck brothers, DARYL (3 and DAX (35), sit
beside each other at a table. Quiet. Unmoving.

A cigarette hangs from Daryl’s lips. Dax fondles a zippo.

Detectives, Glenn (45) and Kelley (44), sit opposite.
Documents surround their space. Kelley presses record and
slides his tape recorder to the center of the table.

Daryl takes a puff and leans in--



You need to CAP GLEN and KELLY when first intro'd.

Are these there first or last names?

Are they male or female?


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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RodriguezFruitbat
Posted: June 3rd, 2023, 7:09pm Report to Moderator
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Well, this never got made as a movie, but we did end up writing it into a novel!

https://www.goodreads.com/book.....rPlK4ab7&rank=22
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