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Life Forgotten by Lisa Gibson/Samantha Sperling - Drama - Unread letters from the past surface revealing a dying mother's final wishes for her children; causing each to contemplate what they could have been as opposed to what they've become. - pdf, format
Heya... First this is my first review and post on this board and I was looking for anohter newbie whose script I could review and as fate would have it I picked yours.
You only have two posts though so I dont know if I'm talking to nothing but air here, but I have read up to the end of page 15, around the time the mother funerals take place. And so far I dont think there is enough dramatic potential in the beginning that gives me a reason to read on anticapating something dramatic would happen the letters arent enough.
pg.15 - Daniels (clipped tone) "Its been hard on all of us." His cliche response to me is how alot of the dialogue reads, character where saying every cliche line in the book. And some of the scenes are too blunt like Eric comes in says he's quitting school then is out the door the father response "He sounds upset" its like, his mom is dying, duh.
And father has several scenes that dont reveal anything new about how he feels, and too much time is spent on the nurses and people saying sorry, rather then time on the family.
And I was also wondering if the story is how the kids respond to the mothers letters, then I would thing you would show how all three of the kids while Deb is in the hospital so we can see how they where before she died, changes after her death, so we can see & compare if their changing for the better or worse.
I hope I dont sound to mean or harsh or anything, not my intentions trust me! I just hope you take something from what I said into youse guys later works.