Quoted from Shelton I never would have thought to take an existing script and tweak it like this.  Nice work.

Thanks. I've toyed with parodies before, but I've never actually finished any of them since they were mostly for my own amusement. Probably one of the funnier ones was one I title The Sesamatrix where I put all the Sesame Street Muppets into the Matrix storyline. I never did any detail work on it, but it was still kind of funny thinking about it.

Okay, finished.

This was a very time consuming read but I enjoyed it nevertheless. Even more so than I did the Godfather.

A few things that stood out for me...

- The restaurant scene actually seemed very similar to that of the original film, which was great. I'm glad you decided not to play it for laughs. Was the veal hanging from the Goose's mouth from the original script or did you add it yourself? It was a nice touch.

- SimplyTown. Excellent!

- SimplyVilla! Ha! Also excellent.

- Nice cameo by Angel.

- I enjoyed Rapture's name switching every scene.

- Again, the scene in which Alan lies to his wife has the same feel as in the original film. Good job.

All in all, an excellent read. Not only have you managed to blend the Simply Scripts world seemlessly with that of the Godfather, you've also showed that the SS script trend isn't dead yet. I'll have to write one myself at some point. Good job with this one, George.

Quoted from James McClung - The restaurant scene actually seemed very similar to that of the original film, which was great. I'm glad you decided not to play it for laughs. Was the veal hanging from the Goose's mouth from the original script or did you add it yourself? It was a nice touch.

Thank you James. Sorry you just got to be the nurse. But hey, even the little roles are important. I'm very happy you enjoyed it.

The veal hanging from Goose's mouth also hung from McCloskey's...at least in the draft I adapted. To be honest, most of the laughs were intended to be incidental based on the ridiculousness of crossing the situations. I think one of the reasons it feels so seamless is I didn't play most of the scenes for laughs; I just made some minor changes to what was there, and it came out funny.

One of my favorites was Bigwhoop describing his "idea" near the beginning. In the original, the man is begging for his son-in-law not to be deported to Sicily. I thought for a long time on what to do with this since it didn't make sense in my new world. Then I hit on the whole random idea thing, and made the story a new plot. The Act of Congress line was already there for me, but the situation change made that line downright hilarious to me. I still laugh. Nearly every laugh here fit into that category.

In the restaurant scene, they discuss little of what I changed, but merely the character of the film. That's why that one played mostly as it was in the original. Same deal with Alan and Banana compared to Michael and Kay at the end. It wasn't about the scripts or the mobs; it was about them.

Thanks again.

My debut as a character in a Simply Scripts based story, why thank you George. I'm snowed under at the moment with my own short script which I want to submit ASAP, and I've also printed about four Simply Scripts shorts to review. Once all that is cleared, I'll get on to this.  

George - what a gas..

Loved reading Simply The Godfather, you did a good job fitting members from these boards into the screenplay characters and molding dialogue which gave the impression of what people say on these boards but without deviating from the original story-line established by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola's original..

Some of the references through dialogue were very funny, I laughed out loud on quiet a few occasions..

I waited, I read, I waited and then I popped up as the Hitman/bodyguard at the end of the screenplay, hey, clever casting and this also gave me a giggle or two, lol!

Really well done George, a pleasure to read...

Thanks Kevan. Appreciate the read and comments. Yeah, some people have smaller roles than others and some don't come in until very late in the story (myself included), but look at the bright side: at least you live through it.

Why do you use my last name instead of just Breanne?

And why does Don yell at Mike and tell him to ACT LIKE A MAN! -- and then Mike can’t stop laughing? Wouldn’t that make the Godfather a little upset?

Quoted from Breanne Mattson Why do you use my last name instead of just Breanne? And why does Don yell at Mike and tell him to ACT LIKE A MAN! -- and then Mike can’t stop laughing? Wouldn’t that make the Godfather a little upset?

Sorry about the whore thing. To clarify...some people are not represented entirely accurately.    Andrew Romance gave me a hard time over beating Andy, too. Oh, well. All in good fun, right?

As to your last name. I think you were one of the earlier picks and at the time I was using first and last names for people, if possible, even though some were a combination of their real name and screen name. (i.e. Don Admin, Steven Wesley, Phil Dogglebe, Alan Holman, Ziggy Topher) I changed up some of the characters several times trying to find a balance of who's here and who's not. I dug through stuff looking for people's full names too, and eventually I just decided to go with the single screen names for some people, but if I knew the last name, I went with it. That's why you have your last name.

As for the laughing, that's what they did in the original script when Don Corleone spoke a variation of that line. I gathered it was intended as a joke, so I changed the final Italian word to the name of one of Mike's scripts.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest. As for your part, I think Tomson's a bit upset at you...  

I am not upset and I wouldn't mind switching with Breanne.
Her appearance may have been breef, but at least she got something out of it.

I use everyone.  Deal with it.

Truth to tell, I don't read these Simply scripts.  No offense to anyone here, but I just don't think we know anyone enough to properly portray them in these scripts.


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe Truth to tell, I don't read these Simply scripts.  No offense to anyone here, but I just don't think we know anyone enough to properly portray them in these scripts.

This one was not so much concerned with portraying everyone properly, but more in placing everyone in a particular, somewhat ridiculous at times, situation. Sometimes this one attempts to be dramatic, but it's too ridiculous to be serious. However, knowing you don't read these (since entertaining those we include is part of the fun), I'll be sure and keep that in mind in the event that I ever write another.

This script is so relaxing and cathartic.  I still read parts of it over-and-over sometimes.  But when you consider which role I've got, I wonder if that's a good thing that I enjoy it so much ... hehehehehe

It's probably the part where he's having dinner with Banana Chan...you know, a private dinner in a hotel room.

haha, I'm mentioned, lol.

I read 35 pages so far, and I'm enjoying it! This is a fun read so far.

ET

This took me awhile! Since I'm such a slow reader I did print this out and I made it my bedtime read (sorry Vince Flynn) rather than read it off of the pc. It worked out well since this was good enough to be something to take to bed with you,

I want to start out by saying, though it was very funny to read all the "characters" from Simply Scripts, I did not for a second take any of the characters personas in the script as an indication of how you might perceive us in real life (even if just online). If I had you would have received a complaint from me for making me such a bore.

It's been a very long time since I saw The Godfather and after reading this I have decided that I absolutely should by the DVD, maybe even the script. That leads me to an off topic question, but maybe you'd know the answer. I know a lot of the produced scripts here at SS are transcripts, my question is, when you by them are they actual copies of the real scripts? I hope so, because I've bought a bunch of them over the years. I'd like to think that I'm reading something the way the author actually penned it.

You did an amazing job here weaving your story into the original. Very clever and funny too. I'm totally blown away that it only took you one month (I think I read somewhere).
You continue to impress me and I must admit that instead of just one pedestal with my favorite unproduced writer I now have two. The first one has a picture of Breanne on it. Sadly the only picture I have of her, she's got this strange look of Chuck Norris on her. The pedestal next to hers is yours. The only picture I have of you is a mugshot of Ted Kazcynski, oh well..

Someone once told me that to become successful yourself, you should surround yourself with successful people. Their success will rub off on you. I am becoming more and more convinced that I should read more of the really great stuff that is out there than reading things like "The Cabin". I will not hesitate to read anything of yours, if I'm lucky something good might rub off on me.

Excellent!