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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  The Timeskinner of Thornapple Road Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Timeskinner of Thornapple Road  (currently 2151 views)
Don
Posted: March 18th, 2008, 11:11pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Timeskinner of Thornapple Road by Paul A. Martin (SpottyGroundfogg) - Sci Fi - A lovesick loser changes his past and gets the life he always wanted, but unwittingly devastates his family and best friend.  Now, his only hope is to return to the past and stop himself from going back in the first place. 119 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (11 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  November 2nd, 2015, 6:15pm
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hawkinsfilms
Posted: August 7th, 2008, 12:16pm Report to Moderator
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Would it be possible to get more of a log line?  This one doesn't really tell us what the story is about.  It's just (in appearance) the first couple of sentences of a paragraph.  
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sniper
Posted: August 7th, 2008, 12:50pm Report to Moderator
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I wouldn't count on it. SpottyGroundfogg has not posted anything on these boards so I doubt he's around.


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Shelton
Posted: August 7th, 2008, 1:22pm Report to Moderator
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The "logline" is pretty much the very beginning of the story.

16 year old Billy, turns into 36 year old Billy and his life is in shambles.  He gets the opportunity to go back in time and reverse his fortune.  Think along the lines of Mr. Destiny.

Not too bad from what I skimmed of the first half, but an odd structure and a little lengthy in spots.


Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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spottygroundfogg
Posted: August 31st, 2008, 12:13am Report to Moderator
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I apologize for not following up.  I just found out about the discussion boards tonight by accident.  As for the logline, it was actually the first few sentences of the synopsis.  The actual logline is "When a young man screws up his future, he decides to reinvent his past, no matter who he hurts in the present."  I'm not sure how to change it on the website, though.  [bert's edit:  fixed it] I have also greatly revised the script since it was posted here, hopefully addressing the problems with wordiness that Shelton referred to.

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bert  -  August 31st, 2008, 9:50am
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spottygroundfogg
Posted: January 25th, 2009, 6:58pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks to its listing on this website, I have been contacted by a producer who is interested in making a film of The Timeskinner.  He has produced some short films and this would be his first feature length project.  Thank you, Simply Scripts, for opening the door!
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