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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  The Wind That Grabs The Water Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Wind That Grabs The Water  (currently 1174 views)
Don
Posted: June 24th, 2008, 10:49am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Wind That Grabs The Water by Angel M. Sanchez & Johnny M. Sanchez - Drama - The story begins in Hartsdale, New York when Mark Hopkins, a young odd job laborer, lands a permanent employment opportunity at a mini-chain supermarket called Morton’s”. Getting ready for the first day of his permanent employment, Mark finds a neglected infant left on his doorstep. When Hopkins reports the neglected infant to the police, Detective Barbara Burnham helps in aid to investigate and track down the parents responsible for the neglected infant. Meanwhile, Mark builds a profound relationship with Burnham and a nosy co-worker, Laura Raines. When the clues regarding the parents involved begin to be unraveled, everyone Hopkins knows becomes a causality of suspicion including Hopkins’ boss, Larry Benkins, whose connection to the whole conspiracy runs far more than one would expect causing Raines to question the outcome. The actions taken by Raines and others involved including Detective Burnham challenge the veracity of love and decisive sacrifice. In a world  where the unexpected happens and the truth hurts every moment and every character involved in this conspiracy behind the life of a neglected infant shape a story of moral discernment and audacious behavior that defines and underlines the elegance of the human spirit. 148 pages - pdf, format


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garbagemen
Posted: August 7th, 2008, 8:43am Report to Moderator
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The story is good, but you guys should do with half of the description and less than half of the details. Same with the synoses - by the time I'm halfway trhough, I have such an omelet of names that I don't know who's doing what anymore. Keep in mind that trimming down saves trees.
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