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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Angle of Deflection Moderators: bert
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  Author    Angle of Deflection  (currently 2021 views)
Don
Posted: July 27th, 2011, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Angle of Deflection by Randy Oliver - Drama, Crime, Suspense -  Lori, a single mother with a violent, shady past engages the police and a smart criminal in a dangerous, twisting game when she seeks to avenge her daughter. As her game proceeeds and the stakes rise, her past influences her as she is forced to make horrific choices and risks everything in a zero sum end where the winner gets it all and failure means death. 106 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  September 7th, 2011, 6:19pm
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vancety
Posted: July 28th, 2011, 4:10pm Report to Moderator
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Hello Randy,

I've read 30 pages. Like your story until now. How do you Americans say, an easy read. Crispy and realistic -- plot serving  -- dialog. Good formatting.

You introduce a lott of caracters. I have a slight problem with that. But probably that's because I have the short time memory of a strawberry.

My only real problem (until now) is that there is to much PIPE. I hope the action will start soon.

Regards,

Rutger
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Sulla
Posted: November 21st, 2011, 3:03pm Report to Moderator
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Rutger,

I apprecitate the comments and also the fact that you are reading the story, lol. The intro of many characters at the start has been commented by more than one reader. I have revised the story a bit to try to make that a bit less confusing.

Sorry it took so long to respond, but I haven't been on here since I posted the story. My had had a heart a stroke and then rehab and all that fun stuff.

Anyway, if you have finished it, please tell me what you think. If you bailed on it, please tell me why. Its the only way I can do better.

Randy
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