The Guiding Light by Luke Mepham - Drama, Fantasy - A husband finds himself with a condition that makes him die at random times. But there is something more sinister  about his condition. 97 pages - pdf, format

i see you used a couple of "WE SEE or "WE HEAR" try to stay away from those. No camera directions also. stay away from using ING words for your action....rubbing ect...

EXT. MUDDY/STONY/DIRT-TRACK - DAY --- i dont understand why you put so much here just to explain the track. why not move it into your description.

RICHARD
(off screen)
Hi there I need an ambulance.

when richard said this i kinda chuckled. if im on the phone with the ambulances i wont say "Hi There" it just seems so causal. Iono it's just a thought

after Michael gets up from being dead why did Jessica go get dinner ready. it seemed odd. if i was her i would be nagging Michael to get an answer onto why he just came back alive instead of worry about dinner.

its weird five years they been married and she never seen his condition. that threw me off a little.

A glimpse of Michael’s dream is shown. -- this needs to be a slugline. like flashback or vision or something. you cant just put that there.

all in all there are some other things that needs to be worked on but the story is actually a good one. good luck with the rewrite. i actually enjoyed it.

Ugo