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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Home Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: October 19th, 2014, 4:22pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Home by Matthew Orobko - Drama - Young author Joel Miller has just published his first novel to unexpected success. His publisher and fans pressure him into a follow-up as he receives word that his brother has committed suicide. Upon arriving back to his hometown he reconnects with his family as well as his past friends in hopes to better understand his brother's actions as well as his own.  79 pages - pdf, format


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DustinBowcot
Posted: October 20th, 2014, 2:48am Report to Moderator
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The logline needs serious work. At the moment it seems like you've told the whole story and not a lot really happens. 79 pages is also very short for a drama.

If you're around, I may even open the script and destroy your soul with a one action block technical review. At the moment though, I'm not feeling encouraged at all. Which is probably a good thing. Sometimes it really is far better to live in ignorance.
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