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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Whatever It Takes Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: December 6th, 2014, 10:50am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Whatever It Takes by Anthony Brooks - Drama - A music producer who risks his career for love trying to save his longtime girlfriend whose been kidnapped by well know gangsters. 114 pages - pdf, format


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GreenGecko
Posted: December 6th, 2014, 1:46pm Report to Moderator
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I'm going to lay it on hard, man.

You have numerous grammatical and formatting errors in the first pages. It doesn't matter if you have the best story in the entire world because every time a reader catches one of these errors, it stops them and gives them reason to put the script down.

Get some legit software for writing scripts. I'd check out writerduet.com. It's free and easy to use and will correct about half the mistakes you're making just by using it.
If you want to go the extra mile (and you do if you really want to be a screenwriter), get The Screenwriter's Bible by Trottier. Go to the library or something and skim it.

CAPITALIZE every time you introduce a NEW CHARACTER. The BOY, MICHAEL (tell us his age and describe him jsut a bit), and SHARON.

Proofread. Read it over many times to see if it makes sense. Learn how to use commas.
Example:
Stairs is actually stares.
Sharon getS up.


I can tell you put a lot of hard work into this, and congratulations on finishing it! I rarely finish anything. But you got some work to do to make it better. Keep it up!  


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