Quoted from Anon Reading other posts, people are trying to improve your writing. But criticism is only constructive if the writer takes it on board. My advice ... be inspired by the criticism, not angered by it. Use it to hone your craft. Go through your screenplay again and again until no one can say shit about the writing. Then you'll get reads - and people will concentrate on the story.

There's a shitload of flaws. Yep.

Honestly I still don't know if what I uploaded here was a draft, or not. It might be a fuck up on my part.

There was a problem with the script.. it jumped too fast over many years, and it broke my project. So when I get to the drag racing scene.. it caused problems.

I had to rewrite the first 3 scenes.. and relegate the skateboard scene, the car stealing  the follow-on scenes to midway of my work as a flashback. Daniel dies, and Blue flashbacks to the first time he met the kid, and was adopted by Daniel's family.

I had to develop Blue and Daniel's main older characters first. I had to make them have a brotherly relationship at the beginning of my screenplay. Characters had to develop with the audience as people first.

The way I had it written was just too jarring.

And yeah.. I'll do the fleshwork when I get the spine right.

Thank you for reading and providing excellent feedback. I really appreciated it.

The alterations (8 pages) to my script's beginning.. before the long street racing scene: https://www.dropbox.com/s/v36b1phvanm7r3v/Burn%20Excerpt%281%29.pdf?dl=0

The first scenes of the copy I submitted are relegated to flashbacks.

Above everything else the script must work when it's made into finished product.

I don't like wasting time and energy working on something that ultimately will not work out for me.