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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Save Yourself... Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 11:34am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Save Yourself... by Jahzid Johnson - Drama, Romantic Drama - A friendship is tested when a life-altering experience in prison comes between two best friends.… 403 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 10:01pm Report to Moderator
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@Writer

Well, I say this to anyone's work i read... I don't take for granted the time and effort one puts into a screenplay. It's a piece of writing that you've invested yourself in, and I appreciate that part of it no matter what.

EDIT:  If this is a stage play, I would suggest you have it moved to the appropriate section.  And second, familiarize yourself with the correct format.

Good luck

Ghostie



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ghost and_ghostie gal  -  April 30th, 2018, 9:54pm
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Patrick
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 10:07pm Report to Moderator
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Major formatting issues, script is way too long 403mins or 6.7hrs. Way too long. 1 page equals 1 minute of screen time. Most specs are around 90-100 pages. Get some books on screenwritting, read a lot of scripts, take some classes if you need to. Screenwriting software is a must have. 6hours would only work as TV mini-series, that is 6 one hour episodes.


Patrick J Gillespie
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ajr
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 5:09pm Report to Moderator
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Not formatted correctly, but I like the dialogue. And it's mostly dialogue. Reads more like a play. A bit on the nose in spots however otherwise it reads pretty naturally, and I was drawn in by Devaughn and Malachi's first conversation.


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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