This script has a strong beginning. My question is, is this your first draft? Reason why, because I think you should try some more re-writing. The script in my opinion needs more story and emotion, which you done quite well with the character Terry, but most of his dialogue from middle to end is unnecessary. I would definitely work on that. Louise’s character was also kind of vague from the middle as well. Definitely would like to see more character development from her. |