Nicky's Place by Shawn M Decker - Dramedy - Tired of living paycheck to paycheck and enduring sexual harassment from all sides, a young woman decides, "if you can't beat 'em, take their stupid money," leaving her corporate job to become an erotic dancer. 32 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hello writer(s),
  Enjoyed reading this. Main drawback was the dialog. Was a bit pedestrian and didn't push the story forward. A lot of it read like bad sitcom talk. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Dialog can be hard, and it's not like I've ever written any great speeches or quotable lines myself.
  The scenes in Bella's apartment, where Lindsey wakes up there. That dialog felt like it was telling us information that should have/could have been shown. Felt the same about most of the talking throughout. However, there was one line in the strip club which I found truly hilarious. Great bit.
  As for the story/premise, it was funny and by the end I was trying to picture a 'Sex in the City' type playout.
  Biggest question: The title page credits this to two writers. What was it like collaborating? Did one write the action and one write the dialog. Did one type while the other dictated? How did the co-writing thing work out.

Er, lastly, sorry for another tick mark, but when there was a (beat) in the dialog, it should have its own line and not included in the text space.

~A