I like it. I think it flowed really well. I don't see how the descriptions were too wordy. The only little thing I don't know about was Rayne and Ginger. I see how Caine was a part of Nylon's personality, but how where Rayne and Ginger? While they added different voices, I'm not sure if they fit.

Didn't see the "limbo" angle coming. I actually thought Caine was going to be the reall person and everyone else figment's of his imagination. Nice curveball.

Good show.

I liked this one.  Theme and genre were used well and the idea itself was interesting.  I think the descriptions were well done, it gave a lot to visualize.  I also liked how all these different personalities were different, from Caine to Rayne to Ginger.  The twist at the end also works.  It moved quickly and the story was unique.  Good job on this one.

this was a good entry, i have to echo everyone else. my only complaint was Caine's end rant was a little long and excessive but that's not a big deal. good story, excellent formatting, great work.

It sure is a repetiton, a repition to always re-read again. Enjoyed this very much espiecially the ending, a very Memento moment. I also like Caine's dialgoue where he went and back forth as Caine and Nylon. I think that was the final touch in bringing him to life. This reminded me of Phil's Dreams and Dust and Marble And J Gomez's tale (I forgot what it was called now, lol,) in all the characters you created. Not much to write about as negative. Another good work.  

Hope this helps,
Gabe

Not much more I can say, other than this was an interesting read. Nice work, very creative. You are very talented, keep this up!

-Michael K. Snyder

I really enjoyed this one too.

Only thing I can say is I didn't care for the little bit when he explains that they are simply bits of his imagination. We already know that and don't need him to tell us it, it's as if you don't think the reader is smart enough to pick up on this. You need to trust your readers.

I have no idea who wrote this yet at the same time it has a certain vague familiarity to it.  I'll be interested to know who it was.  I have a possible suspect in mind but it's purely a guess at this point.

This one was unconventional to say the least and definately reasonates more than any of the other entries I've read so far.  I could sort of see where this was going though and the ending was more of a downer than anything.  Maybe I was just hoping for a little redemption here.  

Who do Cain, Ginger and Rayne represent?  Are they each a different aspect of his psyche?  Are they simply his demons?  This might have been a little too cryptic for me to figure out.

My feelings are all over the map with this one.  Whoever you are you have one wild imagination.

-Mike

Although you used the theme well, I see this as being more horror than drama, due to the supernatural element. I had a little trouble feeling empathy for Nylon after what he did, even if he did feel bad about it. But all in all it was an interesting story with a satisfying ending.

This short was like a nylon rope in a kinky fashion... I just loved that line so much i had to use it in some way.

I liked it. The script was pointless and unintentionally funny and over the top with violence.

OWC rules blah blah blah sure it wasn't exactly a drama but who cares? If that's all you read for go someplace else.

The wife was a fairly unbelievable character. Her dialogue scene leaves a lot to be desired.

I felt that the story got a little weird when Caine begins talking as himself and Nylon and it never really explains why his name is nylon other than the fact that he killed his family that way and I don't remember too many famous killers nicknamed for what weapon they used.

Not a big deal. This was a fairly fun short and had moments but ultimately I was left wondering and confused? He relives eleven minutes for eternity? In one day he does the same thing over 200 times and unlike other stories following a similar criteria (Not on SS but ones made for tv and film) it's usually a longer period of time.

I think it is better when more happens.

This is of course my opinion and not an opinion shared by or associated with the moderators union.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley OWC rules blah blah blah sure it wasn't exactly a drama but who cares? If that's all you read for go someplace else.

As a person who pointed out that this wasn't a drama I feel compelled to reply to that comment. The point of the challenge was to try and write a new script within the designated genre, page number and theme, in one week. It makes sense that people would point it out if it didn't. Of course that doesn't mean that the script is a failure in its own right, it just means that it breached the criteria of the challenge. I also had a crack at writing for this challenge, but a few days out from the deadline my script had blown out to 16 pages and still wasn't finished, so I accepted that I'd failed the challenge. But I'll still finish the script and submit it to the short board at a later date.

Quoted from Takeshi As a person who pointed out that this wasn't a drama I feel compelled to reply to that comment. The point of the challenge was to try and write a new script within the designated genre, page number and theme, in one week. It makes sense that people would point it out if it didn't. Of course that doesn't mean that the script is a failure in its own right, it just means that it breached the criteria of the challenge. I also had a crack at writing for this challenge, but a few days out from the deadline my script had blown out to 16 pages and still wasn't finished, so I accepted that I'd failed the challenge. But I'll still finish the script and submit it to the short board at a later date.

The only thing I would say to this is that there may be some confusion as to what Drama is. Now I have always believed Drama not to be a genre, If I were to name a few Drama movies I could say.. FARGO, BE KIND REWIND, EVIL DEAD, BAMBI etc...

Drama is not a genre, Drama is the dramatization of a written piece, whether it is a play, a TV show or a movie, drama is just Drama. So Evil Dead is a horror Drama, Fargo is a thriller Drama etc..  Have a look at wikipedia.

So anyway, on to my review...

Not exactly my cup of tea but I still really enjoyed it, so that must mean it was written really well. The dialogue was really great, your characters really shone through and it got to the point where you did not need character headings anymore because it was obvious who was speaking. Really well done on that.

So all in all despite a style of story I never really enjoy I really enjoyed this, very clever and I can see this being produced in some way (probably toned down a little though).

I have already said in the 'who wrote what' thread who I think this is, If I am wrong would be really interested to see who did write this.

Very good job.

along with GM, i think Drama is a kind of vague 'genre' and includes lots of little sub-genres. I feel the same about Comedy, Horror and Action. This script may walk the thin line between horror and drama but it has plenty of dramatic elements to comply with the genre of the challenge.

I am very surprised by the amount of raves this script is getting. Certainly, it is original, but I knew since I saw the title what the twist ending was going to be.

I have to say, the idea of Rayne, a business man with knife-hands, seems like a twisted Agent Smith-Edward Scissorhands love child. When he wiped the tears away, and ended up slicing his cheeks, I actually had a "holy crap, this screenwriter is one sick son-of-a-gun," and that was before the machete even became involved.

The special effects capabilities and requirements this material calls for would make this the most disturbing short I ever watched. I'm NOT interested in seeing Caine's face put to film; I think I would probably vomit.

In the end, yes, I found it original. But I certainly don't place it on my favorites list. The dialogue works, the scene descriptions work fine, but consider a title change, simply because everyone I've asked guessed the ending correctly just by seeing it.

Hey everyone, Sean, the author, here:

Thanks, everyone, for taking time into reading my script and your criticism is greatly appreciated. I'm glad most of you enjoyed it.

For the descriptions being wordy, that's just a habit I have. Hard to break it.

For those a bit confused for why Caine, Rayne, and Ginger are in this...Caine, he's pretty much a demon, but can also be viewed as Nylon's sadistic/anger personality. Rayne is Nylon's sympathetic personality, and Ginger is Nylon's bravery/tough personality (even though it's female. I thought it'd give it some...how you say...pizazz?). And as for Nylon's name...obviously it's not his real name, but yeh, it's just his nickname (and you can tell why).

This whole deal about drama being a genre...I don't see how it can't be one, considering every single movie ever made has drama in it. You can't have horror, comedy, suspense, thriller, action, or romance without drama, and you can't have drama without the genres listed above (come on, we all know that if the guy cheats on the girl, it's "horrific" or horror ).

And sorry for the graphic scenes. With me being a horror buff, it's sort of a habit to have at least some gore in a script....maybe.

Thanks again for reading everyone!

Sean