Stevie, this is your script, I know your writing.

I thought there was some funny lines in here, and I understand it was just making fun of the challenge, but we aren't grading it on whether it did a good job of making fun of the challenge, we are grading it on whether it meets the challenge.

So yeah, not much else to say.

Obviously this isn't meant to be taken too seriously and is just taking the piss, so with that in mind I found it entertaining. Even the title of the script made me laugh once I read the story. At first I was like, WTF? Someone actually called their entry The Dark? But after reading the story it just added to the comedy IMO.

In terms of meeting the challenge, obviously it doesn't but it's clear the author didn't intend to. Personally I enjoy the one or two scripts that show up every OWC that are meant to be entertaining, not taken seriously.

Some funny lines in here, the pubic hair bit was classic.

I was looking forward to seeing how the story would end though, because there was actually some suspense built up throughout. But then you went in a different direction. Not sure if that was your intention from the start or a result of the time constraint and you couldn't think of a proper way to end the story. Either way, I enjoyed this one for what it was meant to be and didn't expect it to deliver any more than that.

Cheers,
Tim.

Heh-Heh...Fully expected the guy from the Darkness to make an appearence (Justin "Nuts in a Vice" Hawkins) and the boys...Audience asides are usually a no go, but since this was pretty much an inside joke sort of piece, it works. I hope you submitted something else in addition, though.

Well I'm as irreverent as they come, but IMO, this was not the place for it. When you're given an assignment, you do the assignment.

Reason? Because serious scripts are going to get half the reads that this one gets.

And because this was a really nice opportunity that Don and MCornetto gave everyone. I only hope this author also has a "serious" entry.

Beyond that, I started skimming it once the product placement of props started. And I didn't laugh. This one was a miss for me - sorry.

Ah, so Darcy's a guy. That would have been useful to know for the OS part which was actually more of a voiceover. It's a black sceen.

Anyway, ok, that was just goofy. I enjoyed it because I get a kick out of that sort of comedy, but it was just goofy. I love that the script acknowledged itself though. That's my favorite on screen gag.

What do I say? Anything? Do I care? Nah, it amused me, which was the point.

It wasn't dark though. It needed the Dark Expansion of Magic: the Gathering, and then I would have accepted it, but without the Wizards of the Coast, it's just not Dark enough...

While it's always good to have a little fun once in a while, I just don't think using the OWC for it is the right way to go about it. Yeah, if you stretch it - I mean, really really strecth it - then, sure, it fits the theme. But you really gonna have to want it to. As for the genre? Nah, not even close.

Veiwing the script for what it is...hmm, I found it to be somewhat boring. You start out with two talking heads, then later it becomes four. Talk talk talk. These guys just won't shut up. It's like Del Griffith from Planes, Trains & Automobiles - except not funny. The end was, well, stupid in my opinion because it's taking a shit on the reader.

I'm sorry, it did nothing for me.

This wasn't what I was expecting to read, but I thought it was a cute "spoof" of the "darkness".

Fantasy? No. I don't think so, but it was entertaining for a OWC. Him being afraid of the dark...

You confused me at first with Darcy. I had always thought that was a girl's name. Everytime I read it, I had a hard time thinking of him as a him. Maybe that was your intention. Him being a scaredy cat.  

You used a lot of props, so that was good.

I think it should have more oomph to the comedy though.

Push that funny over the top, and let me know if you do a rewrite. I'd like to read it.

Cindy

Hi guys. Thanks to all who read my script. I know a few people weren't about it so thought I 'd give the back story behind the writing of it.

When the theme and genre were announced, I wasn't online, so arranged for TommyP to text me. When I read, 'the Dark, horror, sci-fi, fantasy, etc', i was stoked to be able to have a crack at a new type of script for me. I started brainstorming immediately, and had some good ideas cooking. Later, online, i found out about the machima part of things. Initially, I was annoyed at this, as I felt it made the OWC too confininf with too many requirements. I had a whinge on the thread, then other people whinged about my whinging, blah, blah, etc.
So i decided to channel my frustration and wrote the pisstake! I thought. 'I'll get this done then see how much time I have to do a 'proper' one. I started a horror one(which I've finished and will be posting in Shorts any day now) but I was sick for the last 2 days of the challenge, so passed on it.

Anyway, I was pretty happy with 'The Dark'. some siad it didn't fulfill the requirements, but it was fantasy(?) and did use the props listed(all of them actually). Hardly any of the other scripts used hardly any of the props, and only a handful were either horror or scifi.
i understand people disliking what I did, but I hotly refute being labelled 'lazy' and 'uninspired'! i searched through a baby name book to find character names that pertained to 'the dark';
I still had to come up with funny lines to make it work(i admit it could have been funnier);
I used the props in the order of how Michael listed them(except the shotgun, I think), so there was nothing lazy about that.
How can it be uninspired when I was inspired to write it?

Anyway, thanks again! Congrats to all who entered, and if I missed yours, I'll get to it soon.
Cheers stevie

Stevie, you lazy, old, unispired goat, you!

What, BTW does "pisstake" mean?

You're funny, dude!

when I saw Dreamscale had posted, i though(gulp), crumbs, I'm knackered! Ol' buddy Jeff is gonna smash me with words!
But i got off lightly...

Pisstake? Yeah, i spose it is an Aussie saying. It means a parody or spoof!

It comes from the expression "Taking the piss out of (someone or something)".

Ha, gotcha.  Funny...you pissers!!!!!

Yeah, thanks Michael, that explains it better. I'm struggling with a bad cold and am off with the fairies today.

Jeff, can u tell me your thoughts on my short, instead of lolling about this thread, being lazy and uninspired?!!

Yeah, I'll E-mail you, but I'm watching the skiing on het Olympics now.

Watched UFC live from the Acer last night!!!!

I'll admit I thought this had some funny moments. I laughed at the pubic hair line, plus a few others. but that was it really.

Everyone else has covered everything. Nothing else to add.

Congratulations on completing the challenge, even if it was more comedic than dark.

Brian