I'm bad at loglines, does this even make sense?

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking.

Quoted from Steven I'm bad at loglines, does this even make sense? American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking.

That isn't too bad.  I think I'd go on and explain what type of cooking.  Right now it reads like a comedy.
Good luck
Dan

Quoted from DanC That isn't too bad.  I think I'd go on and explain what type of cooking.  Right now it reads like a comedy. Good luck Dan

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking an exotic cut of beef.

I dunno, doesn't matter. My submission is based on Patrick Bateman so nothing will ever come of this.

'Too much gluten can be hazardous to your health.'

Kinda lame but it makes sense when you read it.

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, a business man tries his hand at cooking.

Change this to an a. Unless it's a known character, you generally steer clear of mentioning specific people in a logline. But I think this works well enough. We know he's a murder and businessman and he's going to start cooking. The only question though is why is he? Or what is the obstacle in his way?

Quoted from CameronD American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, a business man tries his hand at cooking. Change this to an a. Unless it's a known character, you generally steer clear of mentioning specific people in a logline. But I think this works well enough. We know he's a murder and businessman and he's going to start cooking. The only question though is why is he? Or what is the obstacle in his way?

I've already said this is based on Patrick Bateman, so whatever. He tells his buddies from work about this new, exotic diet he's trying out and offers to cook them a meal that night. So, they come over and have dinner. I wanted it to be funny in the same way American Psycho was.