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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    Scarefest Script Club  ›  SSC2WC What's your logline? Moderators: Zack
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  Author    SSC2WC What's your logline?  (currently 1523 views)
Zack
Posted: February 16th, 2017, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Pitch your story with one sentence. For many readers, this is your first chance to hook them. What's your logline?

~Zack~
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 16th, 2017, 8:16pm Report to Moderator
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The great force that is Ian Pitt teams with Dr. Smith to hunt down the remaining cannibals outside Baltimore, and put an end to the 1,000's of deaths caused by the hermit cannibal, Elijah.
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Zack
Posted: February 16th, 2017, 8:31pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
The great force that is Ian Pitt teams with Dr. Smith to hunt down the remaining cannibals outside Baltimore, and put an end to the 1,000's of deaths caused by the hermit cannibal, Elijah.


Pure gold.  

~Zack~
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Pure gold.  

~Zack~


I may add something about Helen.

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CameronD
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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Kosher - Late night munchies for a young couple at a deli turns deadly when the kitchen runs outs of pastrami.



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Zack
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 1:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from CameronD
Kosher - Late night munchies for a young couple at a deli turns deadly when the kitchen runs outs of pastrami.


You've got my attention.

~Zack~
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ChrisBodily
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 2:36pm Report to Moderator
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A Cut Above the Rest - A food critic uncovers the dark truth about a burger joint that has never gotten one bad review... or else.

Sound tasty?


FADE IN:
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DanC
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 4:07pm Report to Moderator
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As a child, Fred accidentally imprisoned a creature, drawing its enmity.  Now, it's free and wants revenge by destroying every aspect of Fred's life.

Is it okay to put that in 2 sentences, or should I go for a seemingly near run-on sentence?

lmk

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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2 sentences is fine.
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Grandma Bear
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 7:19pm Report to Moderator
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Going to try to write something this weekend, but it depends if a baby decides to come or not!

I suck at loglines, so I don't have that yet, but I have two stories in mind. One monster and one cannibal. Roach Motel and Eat Me.  


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Zack
Posted: February 17th, 2017, 10:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear

Roach Motel and Eat Me.  


Both sound very promising. Lol

And good luck with the new baby!
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Digitaldecayfilms
Posted: February 18th, 2017, 5:51pm Report to Moderator
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The Feasting House - A young man inherits his grandfather's farmhouse, but the kindly townsfolk aren't quite what they seem.


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 18th, 2017, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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In the Genes - Celebrity organ cloning is all the rage with the Hollywood elite but when the organs start to go missing it's down to the lab's under fire boss to root out the culprit.

Finally an idea!  


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Female Gaze
Posted: February 18th, 2017, 7:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
In the Genes - Celebrity organ cloning is all the rage with the Hollywood elite but when the organs start to go missing it's down to the lab's under fire boss to root out the culprit.

Finally an idea!  




That sounds awesome!!!!!
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Conz
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 11:15am Report to Moderator
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This logline is not good.

Demon in the Sack - A frazzled man recounts the events of a terrifying date to his immature co-workers.

(scarrrrry!!!!)


I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
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Steven
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 11:19am Report to Moderator
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I'm bad at loglines, does this even make sense?

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking.
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DanC
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 12:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven
I'm bad at loglines, does this even make sense?

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking.


That isn't too bad.  I think I'd go on and explain what type of cooking.  Right now it reads like a comedy.
Good luck
Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Steven
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 12:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC


That isn't too bad.  I think I'd go on and explain what type of cooking.  Right now it reads like a comedy.
Good luck
Dan

American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking an exotic cut of beef.

I dunno, doesn't matter. My submission is based on Patrick Bateman so nothing will ever come of this.

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JEStaats
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 3:10pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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'Too much gluten can be hazardous to your health.'

Kinda lame but it makes sense when you read it.
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CameronD
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 3:50pm Report to Moderator
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American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, a business man tries his hand at cooking.

Change this to an a. Unless it's a known character, you generally steer clear of mentioning specific people in a logline. But I think this works well enough. We know he's a murder and businessman and he's going to start cooking. The only question though is why is he? Or what is the obstacle in his way?


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Steven
Posted: February 22nd, 2017, 3:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from CameronD
American Cannibal - After getting away with a series of murders, a business man tries his hand at cooking.

Change this to an a. Unless it's a known character, you generally steer clear of mentioning specific people in a logline. But I think this works well enough. We know he's a murder and businessman and he's going to start cooking. The only question though is why is he? Or what is the obstacle in his way?


I've already said this is based on Patrick Bateman, so whatever. He tells his buddies from work about this new, exotic diet he's trying out and offers to cook them a meal that night. So, they come over and have dinner. I wanted it to be funny in the same way American Psycho was.
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