Phil did not write this one, but lets not start guessing just yet. Usually we wait a week.  

The story is nice and very well written.

A lot of background story was conveyed through dialog though.

My only gripe is - I don't know who to root for from the very beginning, actually none of them is very relatable. The drama is not there, the horror is. I'd like it more if it had both. You had both but for me I couldn't feel for them - thus couldn't feel the drama.

Best one I've read so far, by a wide margin.
Strong narrative, distinct characters with clear goals.
Vibrant dialogue, economical and effective action description.

Gulley is introduced as "GULLLEY", unless the third "L" was intentional.

My only story complaint is a minor quip over no one to root for.
But the script is a good rollercoaster ride, it matters little.

This one's a keeper.

E.D.

I like this very much, was pleased with the ending -- I think it's got a good shot at being filmed by somebody and being a rousing good film.

SPOILERS
It seems a waste not to have a character that can (with magic) speak for those who can't speak for themselves but not speak for the mute fellow.  Of course, he's really not mute and he just keeps his mouth shut to hide his teeth, but always?  Nobody's ever seen him eat?  or yawn?

Them That's Dead               
               
CRITERIA               
Horror ***
Low budget     ***
Powerful  > A touch above
Original > esp the turning points
Celtic Myth > Shapechanger  (?),  gypsy witch
Visually interesting > Pirates and witches
Memorable characters > Brocc, Rhiannon, Gulley
Unique ending > oh, the shark bites
Standout moments > The opening of the chest, the sharing  of secrets from the grave
               
LIMITATIONS > SFX
               
*** average impact/no specific comments               

As Brett correctly points out, this is easily the best of the bunch so far, and it stands head and shoulders above the rest of the mostly dreck I've come across.

The dialogue is good, but not great.  It's tough to write authentic dialogue in only a week's (or less) time, so this definitely works and is appreciated very much.  Some extra time and reads could make the dialogue really sing out.

The story is also well put together and thought out.  It works, it's interesting, and it's engaging.

The characters are all well done.  Again, all interesting, engaging, with a unique voice all their own.  Even their motivations are clear and make sense.

Problems for me are the fact that this isn't horror, really.  Lots of Goonies and even Indiana Jones feel to it, and again, although there are elements of some horror, this is pretty tame PG 13 stuff in both what takes place as well as tone.  Even the dialogue has an almost humorous quality to it...like it's played for laughs almost.

It wouldn't surprise me greatly if this is actually something written earlier that was changed up a bit to fit this challenge...but, I don't think it really does fit the challenge.  I guess you can say the fact that one of the characters is a witch makes it fit, but I don't know.  The lack of horror and overall theme kind of missed the mark in terms of what Rick was looking for, IMO.

I like the twist at the end and think it was well planned and well executed, but it's also the kind of twist that when you think about it...for even a minute, it becomes clear that it really doesn't make sense, as another poster pointed out.

All in all, very well done.  Hope there are many more of this quality!  Congrats on this entry!

This was a nice story, uncluttered. I believe it accomplished its task mostly; however, the ending didn't feel right to me.

I don't know what Brocc had against Rhiannon. For that matter, don't really know what Gulley had against her. My question is: How is it that she has all this power, but she's taking orders from this idiot?

It would be nice to see you do more with Brocc, because he felt like too much of a silent character.   Ha-ha! Just made a funny! Seriously though, if you could draw him up more, giving a few small clues, it might be more of an interesting beginning.

Sandra

This was an enjoyable read.  I enjoyed the characters more than anything else.  They were colorful enough to keep me going.

I think the descriptions went on a bit at times.  Rhiannon in the grave could be tightened a bit.

All things given, I can see this one being produced.  It's very low budget and easily filmable.

Good luck with it.


Phil

*Some Spoilers **

LOVE the title (and the subtitle.)  Also loved the pirate banter...though it could be called cliche, it works well in the context of this script, and is downright fun to read.  I also liked the twist with Brocc.  Nice touch.

For me, this worked until the very end.  Because if I considered anyone the protagonist in the story, it was Rhiannon.  I would liked to have seen her win in the end, and turn the tables on the pirates completely.

Overall, still a fun read.   Congrats on the script!

--WV

Keep the conversation about the script or stay out!!



[bert's edit:  Go, Mod Me, Go!  I deleted all that stuff, and second what "Mad Mod Me" is telling you guys.]

I was totally lost in this story right off the bat.  Awesome dialog and atmosphere.  Very cool tale...interesting characters and great writing.  

LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!

This was thought out, fleshed out, and nothing felt incomplete. This is, in my opinion, what a script under ten pages should be.

I normally dont like to say things as crass as this, but this is the best of the first batch. Congratulations!

Unless it's a great coincidence, there's a secret message hidden in here that only I would understand and yes - I lol'd.  

I thought this was good, though a bit underwhelming for my preference.  Good use of the mythological elements and story revelation - I enjoyed those parts.  What lacked for me, I think, is that this felt like an ending to a much larger story that I would have liked to see/read/hear/whatever.  Of course, keeping them wanting more is good so perhaps that can be considered that's a wash.  Still - a lot of thought went into this for accuracy and authenticity, so for that it wins and it's still one of the better ones I've read so far.

Nice job.  

Greg

Pros

Lovely visuals. You can practically feel the gloss already.

Interesting and colourful characters.

Obvious effort gone into the dialogue.

Shark Tooth was a good character.

The Necromancy felt well in keeping with the setting.

Wonderful style.

Cons

Feel bad for saying this, but the story is a little basic, with few nuances.

It lacks thematic content and modern relevance.


Great effort though. Doubt there will be many scripts as polished as this.

This was a smooth read, really enjoyed it.  Definitely fun and entertaining.  However, In my opinion I felt it lacks any real emotional grit or lasting impact, i agree with one of the posters that said it was hard to relate to the characters or to know whom to root for.