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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Axe Mutilation Moderators: bert
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  Author    Axe Mutilation  (currently 4850 views)
Don
Posted: April 26th, 2004, 1:05pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Axe Mutilation by Casey Wrenn - Horror - A group of friends are returning home from a Graduation Party, when they give out of gas. They are stranded alone in the middle of no where. Soon, they are hunted down one by one by a Axe murdering pyshco. - doc format.


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Coronaguy17
Posted: April 29th, 2004, 4:42pm Report to Moderator
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Hey everyone, please give me some comments on this script good or bad. If anyone did like this, please tell me here. Later on, I might decide to do a Axe Mutilation 2.


Casey
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clever_name
Posted: April 29th, 2004, 11:51pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Casey.

Grammar is sort of an issue in this script (ie. "fifteen bodies was found in the house’s basement, fifteen more was found" both was's should be were) which can kind of get on a reader's nerves.

Plus there were some parts that didn't even make sense: "We now that this is Amy, she looks to be about in her early or late teens." - - how can you look like you are both a young and old teen?

The dialogue is very monosyllabic, which is good if used sparingly, but when every line is either "Yeah man"  or "Shut up ass" it tends to get boring fast.

You also say this is inspired by Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and just because you change the setting doesn't mean you've mad an entirely new concept now.  This is essentially Montana Axe Massacre, with the location and weapon being the only thing seperating the two screenplays.  This is a poor man's TCM, and I beg of you not to make a second one.

Plus you don't seem to understand the concepts of action placement.  You have a big build-up for the first act, second act is all of the caveman dialogue I didn't like, and the third is about nine pages of action - - all of it very poor.

I'm sorry but this script isn't up to par, and to be honest, doesn't show much potential.


Jesus Christ Timmy!  Do not float above me while I'm dying in the abyss!
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Coronaguy17
Posted: April 30th, 2004, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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The only parts that were based on Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the beginning of the Narrarator speaking, and the end with the Narrarator speaking. Everything else was my own stuff.

And if i want to do a sequel, I can. I don't have to listen to you, saying "i beg of you, don't do a second". Please. And I do plan to do a sequel later this summer or next year, when I am done with other projects. But there is a 95% chance, that there won't be one anyway, beacuse the way I wanted to end.

I wanted people to think, I wonder if Jr. is going to to ever find Erin, and kill her, or what is going to to happen since they got the wrong man.

I do thank you for having a comment on this though, thank you for that. But if I can get an idea together, that is good, I will write a Axe Mutilation 2



Casey
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Kyle V.
Posted: April 30th, 2004, 5:57pm Report to Moderator
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Freeze Sucka!

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Base Axe Mutilation 2 on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, just because I wanna see this jr. dude stick the axe between his crotch and make sexual gestures with it.

From what I read of this script, I saw many of your very own cliche's used. You had the usual college students, usual woman heroine and the usual killer. It seems like most of your scripts are based on the same plotm over and over again only with different characters, different settings and different weapons to kill. The only script that kind of seprated from your cliches was Night of the living dead 4, and that still did have the woman heroine and the college students.

There is something that I acknowledge. I acknowledge the fact that you said it was based on the Texas Chainsaw instead of some certain scripts I read who basically plageurized entire scripts and rearranged a few elements to make it seem original *cough*thesilhouette*cough*




I used to wear Spiderman PJ's to bed every night, then I woke up one morning and said to myself "Self, your to old for this spiderman bull." So I went to target the next day and picked up some Wolverine PJs cause man, that guy stabs people. C. Walken
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Maxwell
Posted: April 30th, 2004, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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I persoanlly think it was boring. I scanned it but I don't get how someone can get hit with an axe once and die and you call that horror. t wasn't very scary and predictable.
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Coronaguy17
Posted: May 1st, 2004, 10:31pm Report to Moderator
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Anyone else want to share any more good or bad comments?


Casey
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: May 2nd, 2004, 12:00am Report to Moderator
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I haven't had the time to read it yet but you told me a lot about it while you were writing it so I'll probably find some time although I do distain horror I can still watch and read the stuff that branches out from the genre

I think horror needs a new standard, definition if you will

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is one of the most annoying movies ever made because of that girl who scream for 50% of the film, that's smart dialogue right there (No not really) But it is on the other hand a well done B movie in all other aspects.

I wonder what is horror to you, whoever is reading this?

Maybe it is zombies craving brains, maybe it's the inbred family from Wrong Turn, or maybe it's a flesh eating virus that kills all the teens


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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Coronaguy17
Posted: May 4th, 2004, 5:57pm Report to Moderator
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All these commenst are good, thanks a lot guys! All this great comments make me want to write 2 more just to get on yall's nerves (not included Wesley). I'm just not seeing how yall critize something when some of your scripts freaking boreing and even stupider than mine. I worked hard to get Axe Mutilation like I wanted it, so just annoy yall, Ther just might be a Axe Mutilation 2 and Axe Mutilation 3.

Any way, R.E. Freak, what do you think of it?


Casey
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clever_name
Posted: May 4th, 2004, 6:26pm Report to Moderator
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1. I really don't see how you making another Axe Mutilation scripts is going to annoy anyone... I'll simply choose not to read it.

2. Don't get all worked up just because some people didn't like your script.  You should be proud of yourself for working hard enough to get it the way you like it...but that doesn't mean that just cause you worked hard automatically everyone is going to like your work.

3. If you don't want people to criticize your work - - don't post it.  Also don't beg for comments if you can't take the criticism.

4. Stupider is not a word.


Jesus Christ Timmy!  Do not float above me while I'm dying in the abyss!
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Coronaguy17
Posted: May 5th, 2004, 2:42pm Report to Moderator
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No one asked for your little comment on that little message.

Yes, I worked hard getting this the way i wanted it.

Sometimes i w don't to post stuff on here, cause some people who just can't come up with a story, think it will be okay to take some one elses script and make it thiers.

But anyway, i was just kiding about the two sequels. The first one took me like a month in a half to do, so I'm not going to another one, unless my computer decides it can work right.


Casey
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: May 5th, 2004, 4:20pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah my computer keeps getting a serious error and resetting on me so i just haven't written anything in a week or so but that doesn't stop me from using paper to get things done on

With that I could just scan it, but than not many people can read my writing because it's tiny


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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clever_name
Posted: May 5th, 2004, 6:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Coronaguy17, posted May 5th, 2004, 2:42pm at here
No one asked for your little comment on that little message.


Correct me if I am incorrect, but is this not a message board?  Are we not supposed to make comments?  Cause I may be missing something here...


Jesus Christ Timmy!  Do not float above me while I'm dying in the abyss!
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Maxwell
Posted: May 16th, 2004, 12:08pm Report to Moderator
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Casey can't right scripts so he comes here asks for comments, then complains when someone tells him the truth.
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Coronaguy17
Posted: May 16th, 2004, 12:49pm Report to Moderator
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Let's see you write a script. Ooh and your grammer is bad, it's WRITE, not RIGHT.


Casey
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