Journey To Death: Chapter Two by R.E.Freak - Horror, Drama - The world as we know it has ended. Death fills the streets as the reanimated bodies of the dead hunt the last remaining survivors. Nowhere is safe, nowhere is free of the undead threat. Jack, Jessie, and Filla make their way to the cabin, joining up with a group of drifters who agree to go with them, hoping it will provide them with a safe haven amidst the chaos. On their way they encounter a rogue military General and his splinter faction, hell bent on finding a way to wipe out the undead, even if it means killing all those who come across them. Meanwhile, David and Kelly find themselves in the middle of a mass exodus as survivors make their way to the mountains. As the numbers of refugees increases, they find themselves facing the threat of the undead. This is the 186 page draft, which turned out far better than I had hoped. - html format.


Journey To Death: Chapter Two by R.E.Freak - Horror, Drama - The world as we know it has ended. Death fills the streets as the reanimated bodies of the dead hunt the last remaining survivors. Nowhere is safe, nowhere is free of the undead threat. Jack, Jessie, and Filla make their way to the cabin, joining up with a group of drifters who agree to go with them, hoping it will provide them with a safe haven amidst the chaos. On their way they encounter a rogue military General and his splinter faction, hell bent on finding a way to wipe out the undead, even if it means killing all those who come across them. Meanwhile, David and Kelly find themselves in the middle of a mass exodus as survivors make their way to the mountains. As the numbers of refugees increases, they find themselves facing the threat of the undead. This is the 186 page draft, which turned out far better than I had hoped. - html format.

I read it.  This morning, in one sitting, with those annoying little sleepy things blocking most of my vision, i still read the second one.  I think it's great!  It is da bomb, i really have to say it's what i was expecting, and then some.  Freidrich was one of my favorite characters.  What a crappy way for Hillard to die, almost as bad as Johnny Depp getting used as a human shield in 'Platoon'.  I liked how you showed the presence of the military more in this one.  You know, in the first i realize that was hard to do because simply of the fact that it was in a small tow, but what was up with that last scene?  Like, you faded out on the dead people, i didn't get that at all.  Also, why did Jack say Because.  It sounded good, but I don't necessarily get the meaning.  Well, earlier i posted that thing about how the scripts reminded me of when I was a twelve year old boy skipping school to see dawn  of the dead, this script did just that, I really have to commend you, especially since you took less than five years to do it .

How do you write so fast?  I have to know, I'm like on page three of my script, and at the same point in time into it you were like on page 50.

Great, I'll read it right now.

I just know what I'm going to write. I basically say that this is going to happen at a certain point, so that's the outcome. Then I just write with that in mind, and it takes me no time.

As for the 'because'  and the fading out on the dead people, I wanted to end on a much more down note in this one. The first one was hopeful, this one I wanted it to seem like the characters are royally screwed. I thought that having the bodies and having Jack say 'because' was sort of a fitting way to end it. Here's the bodied, this is how most people will end up, and it's just because.

Though I was probably more than a little tripped out at this point.

And, if you liked the first two, the third will blow you away. It's going to be big, though I won't start writing it for a while. Needless to say, I need some rest. It will finish off the parallel stories, with the cabin and everyone captured by Winters. There'll be a lot more of the experimenting. I've always wanted to do that, but I've never been able to. Well, now I can.

I see... yeah, i just didn't understand, i mean, people remember the ending, and so people are putting on their coats, and they're like gee, you ended it on the dead people.  but i get what you mean.

Hey i am gonna read it soon. Btw check out my script i just submitted called Zombie Apocalypse its at the bottom of the unpro page thanks
Andrew

Well, here is the inevitable sequel. And although it is faithful to the first part, which is always key to a good sequel, it is still a sequel. I despise sequels in all their forms. Very few sequels ever seem to make it (e.g. Reloaded, Revolutions and Spider-Man 2). People always accuse me of hating Spider-Man 2, but I think its the worst movie ever made, not that the first one was any good either. But it's a sequel and they never seem to work, except in a few cases like the Hannibal Lecter trilogy or Terminator 2 (of course!).

I'm not chewing you out or anything, I just really, really, really hate sequels. I can't say how much I really hate sequels. They're just annoying and I feel if they're not good enough, they spoil what the original film had. Mainly because Hollywood is so showy and sequels are only made because the first film was successful. But I still kinda liked some of the ideas in this script, and it really did something new with the story, not just another flashy, showy sequel. And if it works, it works. And this works so, keep it up.

Although I'm against it, I'm looking forward to reading Journey To Death Part Three or something. Juat keep doing what you're doing.  

My trilogy isn't like The Matrix. I didn't write the first one, find people liked it, then decided to write two more. I hate it when a sequel is made simply based on how well the first movie did. I, much like you, very much hate sequels. In this case, I had one simple story to tell that took me three screenplays to tell it in. That's why I called them chapters. They're not so much sequels as just one big story that would be ten hours long if it were one movie. I like long movies and all, but Jesus.

But yes, once Three is done, that's JTD. For good. It doesn't matter if I actually make them and make billions, there will be NO CHAPTER FOUR. And none of this prequel crap either. That's ruined Star Wars for me (haven't touched a SW book in two years).

And I will keep doing what I'm doing. I don't intend to do anything differently. If's it not broken, why fix it?

Though I may whack it with a hammer a few times, just to make it interesting.

Follow ups only bother me when they loose the DNA of the 1st movie -- I.E. EVIL DEAD, NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, FRIDAY THE 13TH, you know the drill... so forth and so on and so on and so forth.

I like a good trilogy only if the 1st movie doesn't end.  By this I mean, that the three movies are more like 1 part of a whole picture and neither of the three can stand on their own without the other movie.  I think that is what I mean...

Do you get what i'm tryin' to say?

J.D.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I like the same sort of trilogy.

Ok, I tried things differently. I read the second one only. I think most people here interested in your work read them by chronological order, and I figured it might be helpfull if I wrote a review for the second one as a stand alone.

I think you do a great job in the writing department, everything is vivid and can be easly visualised.

Some problems:
- You take the dynamic out of the movie by having two establishing shots of empty streets and then a zombie moving. Both in the beginning and somewhat later on when we get (re) introduced to Jack. Really takes the edge of from it

- Your female characters are practically slaves. Esspecially Kelly. Poor woman.

- There is a good conflict when the group gets caught and an even better suspension builder as we see the zombies getting smarter

- I dont know how a Zombie can be a super marksman with their bodies rotting away. I'm not so sure why all zombies can snipe. I think you should cut their professionalism down drastically.

- How can Winters observe how the Zombie 'learns' when they just give him a weapon. From what is the zombie learning then? He has no example, there is no reason to think the zombie oculdn't do this previously, there's even no need for bait. I know the guy is insane, but the experiments make no sense. They aren't even experiments, why the characters (besides Winters) don't figure out the 'experiments' make no sense is beyond me. I hope you get what I am trying to say here because it's hard to put in words. But no conclusion can be drawn from a zombie wielding a knife.

- There's no final conclusion. I know you are saving this for part three, but there CAN be a conclusion AND still have a cliff hanger. This is just absurd, the whole movie builds up to nothing. No character has learned, nobody has developped and nothing has been solved (not even personal drama).

I dont like the ending at all.

Your writing skills are amazing, truly the good stuff. And I'd love to read more from you, but this part is in my oppinion unfinished and could be so much better. You got the material, you just need a bit of tweaking. So take nothing I said personal, I applaud your work since it's zombie script supreme, but I know you can make this better.

In Defense of R. E. Freak

Looks like i'm a have to take up for R.E, here.

There is nothing wrong with the female characters, they are not SLAVES.  They are important to the plot.  Jessie is important, she's the most emotional of the group of survivors, and Jack and Filla want to protect her, they feel a need to in many instances, would they if she was a slave?  

Kelly is important too.  Yeah, she had to get coffee a lot, but, she was resourceful with her medical training and such, and without her their would be no story.

"How can Winters observe how the Zombie 'learns' when they just give him a weapon. From what is the zombie learning then? He has no example, there is no reason to think the zombie oculdn't do this previously, there's even no need for bait. I know the guy is insane, but the experiments make no sense. They aren't even experiments, why the characters (besides Winters) don't figure out the 'experiments' make no sense is beyond me. I hope you get what I am trying to say here because it's hard to put in words. But no conclusion can be drawn from a zombie wielding a knife."

He can learn from them because of the zombies not knowing how to use a knife.  His super military technology shows how they can learn to use the knife, and their strategies in defeating the humans.

"- There's no final conclusion. I know you are saving this for part three, but there CAN be a conclusion AND still have a cliff hanger. This is just absurd, the whole movie builds up to nothing. No character has learned, nobody has developped and nothing has been solved (not even personal drama)."

The movie builds up to nothing is a false statement, the characters all have some sort of growth, and death is growth, even if it's not exactly for the better.  The characters have learned, too, go back, Frank started out as a traveler fending for himself, and he was going to leave but decided to stay and help out David and Kelly.  That sounds like growth to me.  Developing has happened too.  

You did the wrong thing in reviewing it.  Journey to death isn't like most movies out today, where sequels are invented because the first one was popular.  It is like Lord of the Rings, it is telling a much larger story, and look at The Two Towers, there wasn't too much growth either, just development, and the story moved forward to prep us for the final act.  The Two Towers is a classic.  

The Zombies learning and being super marksman is a fact of life.  Man has learned, you think we learned how to build huge skyscrapers and build weapons and make fire and stuff happened on instant?  No, we adapted to our environment, and got better and better overtime.  

Read the first one, then come back and read this one.

Well, many thanks to you sheepdogg.

The second movie in a trilogy is always the worst, as it's picking up the story from the first one and leaving off for the next one. I knew that there would be problems with this one, but like sheepdogg says there are problems with The Two Towers. It just sort of ends. . .

And don't worry Hypnos, I don't take anything said about my scripts personally. I like it when people do point out errors like those, because now I can go back and I'll be able to fix them.

Now halfway through reading it, looks good so far.

R.E. FREAK is a stand up guy, isn't he?  I think everyone one this board needs to take a closer look at his raw talent and his attitude on the board aswell.  If I didn't already boost your rep, I'd do it now or if I could do it again... I would!

Here's to you R.E.!!!!

Well, thanks Glass. Don't quite know what to say.

I am glad you take it so well RE Freak. I just want to help to make the script better, I dont want to shit on it, I just point out some errors.

The females are stereotypes, I went overboard with the slaves thing, but they are definately stereotypes.

The Super Military Technology that can somehow register how a zombie learns is technobabble. The movie tries to stay 'realistic' at all times, within it's own world. Experiments were great if they actually led to a conclusion. A zombie wielding a knife (even though he couldn't do that before) says nothing about how he learns, how other zombies learn or how they adapt to other examples.

My idea is to go for the 'recall'. Zombies RECALL how they could use such devices from their past lives. They see the humans do it and it cues part of their brain to recall such activities without emotion.
Seeing how the zombie loses his emotion complex, motoric features etc, it's very doubtfull that a zombie could learn.

Or be a perfect marksman. I say you should have some zombies that can't shoot at all, or miss greatly. I was esspecially suprised how a zombie (rotting away) could aim an arrow perfectly through the woods, while his Occipital Brain part would have probably been rotting away, destroying most of his aim. Not realistic within the movie (if you get my point).

It's quite low in the character development actually. I'm sure RE could crank that up, he definately got the skills. Their flaws should slowly fade away, their bonds strengthen and such things can only occur when you bring the sub chars more to the foreground.

I love to read the next draft and I will read the first one as well. As I stated before Freak is a great writer. I'm trying to throw some of my cents his way to help him out.

As for the Trilogy that needs a second part for development, no subconclusion nor subshowdown is not perfect in my books. A second part can still provide the development, have a conclusion and build up to a bigger conclusion for part 3. See Star Wars for such thing. Nice round out, but still you know there is more to come.

And I dislike Lord of the Rings. It's extremely overrated IMO.

Quoted Text The females are stereotypes, I went overboard with the slaves thing, but they are definately stereotypes.

That's much better in Chapter 3. It focuses a lot more on the cabin, and Kelly.

Quoted Text The Super Military Technology that can somehow register how a zombie learns is technobabble. The movie tries to stay 'realistic' at all times, within it's own world. Experiments were great if they actually led to a conclusion. A zombie wielding a knife (even though he couldn't do that before) says nothing about how he learns, how other zombies learn or how they adapt to other examples.

In this case, they really don't care (the soldiers, I mean). Winters is really just labeling cheap entertainment as 'research' in the hopes that maybe they'll notice something. In this case, the zombies have never used knives before. When they drop in a knife and the zombie uses it, it shows just how fast these undead buggers can turn our own weapons against us.

Quoted Text My idea is to go for the 'recall'. Zombies RECALL how they could use such devices from their past lives. They see the humans do it and it cues part of their brain to recall such activities without emotion. Seeing how the zombie loses his emotion complex, motoric features etc, it's very doubtfull that a zombie could learn.

In this case, they aren't so much learning as mimicking the humans they hunt. This is why most zombies are still just shuffling around. They don't remember anything, and they won't 'learn' anything unless a human or another 'educated' zombie comes along.

Quoted Text Or be a perfect marksman. I say you should have some zombies that can't shoot at all, or miss greatly. I was esspecially suprised how a zombie (rotting away) could aim an arrow perfectly through the woods, while his Occipital Brain part would have probably been rotting away, destroying most of his aim. Not realistic within the movie (if you get my point).

. . .  

Quoted Text It's quite low in the character development actually. I'm sure RE could crank that up, he definately got the skills. Their flaws should slowly fade away, their bonds strengthen and such things can only occur when you bring the sub chars more to the foreground.

Oh yeah. No question there. This follows the same pattern as most of my stuff: the first draft is action, the second is character.

You don't like Lord of the rings?  How dare you!

Well, finally got around to reading the first part! I'm slow, I know... doh! I've gotta say, like I did before, I'm no zombie fan. Sorry. But I can say that the opening of JTD really hooked me. It was the doom... I love doom... and death. I do admit to skimming some bits though, I just really wanted to get through it!

You obviously have talent, RE, as stated by many others on here -- I'm just looking forward to another genre from you, which I'm sure won't be too long.

But anyway, I will be reading the second in your JTD trilogy, because I actually enjoyed reading the first chapter.

[And for the record: I don't like Lord of the Rings. I had to watch the first one about five times cos I kept falling asleep... and what was that ending all about? Eh.. but hey, just my opinion. I did read the books though... mind you, that was years ago!]

Keep in mind, the second one is just a first draft. The new draft is already ten pages longer.

Give me a few days... I've been writing and reading so much I'm actually dreaming of a blinking cursor..  

I haven't yet read the Journey series,  what order do they go in?  I have, however, read your Resident Evil scripts and I really liked them.  They should have filmed those instead of Paul Anderson's crap...(I used to like him until he screwed up AVP).  Anyway, I look forward to reading the Journey series.  All the best.

I really liked this even better than the oringal second one that came out. I have the a feeling that Journey To Death Chapter Three will be the most awsome!!!

No question there. I've got some big things planned. Let's just say, it will be a bittersweet ending. And a lot more talking (if that's possible) than the first two. The second one was really lacking in the characterization, no worries about that in Chapter Three.

Oh, and to give you a bit of a teaser for chapter three: In Chapter Two a survivor from one of the groups sent out into the forest says 'Not all dead.'

He wasn't referring to David. . .

It must be me!!! No just kidding.

Now, I know you dont really want to give anything away about Chapter Three, but you GOTTA answer this one question:

WILL THERE BE A HUGE TWIST???

I love huge twists at the end of things, especially when you think they're going very linear and are pretty straightforward. It is my dream to one day make a twist SO HUGE that it just leaves everyone breathless. I think they just add so much tension and so much emotion to a story and they make the story itself a lot stronger in most cases (i.e. "I am your father..." in Empire Strikes Back). So... my question stands:

WILL THERE BE A HUGE TWIST???

Yes.  

Will there be the same ending as the first drafts of chapter three?

No, completely different. I won't be using any of that little tidbit of my past. Urgh,

That's all ur gonna say isn't it? Just yes?