Okay I have read a little bit more of your script. It's hard to tell what page I'm up to cause there are no pages.

So the middle act is made up with the characters trapped in buildings. The intercutting between scenes is still compeling Your plotting is still top notch and exciting. The whole trapped segment of story seems a little bit long. I really dig the message that come up on computer, that is very cool.

But we got all thses demon monster thing rampaging outisde and the characters are stuck in building. It seems like you are dragging your story out a bit but than again I could be wrong cause I don't know what the outcome will be yet. ( I haven't read that far.) The kooky cult dudes have borded up the building and have drugged the characters. Why? There must be a reason. See what I mean by your plot being intriguing and keeps the reader turning the page.

I did glance over other reviews and noticed some people say Tom is a bit of  weak action hero. Is not very active. I have to disagree. I feel this script is not about a hero. Yoru characters react like how real people would act in this kind of nightmarish situation. Hell, I would be dazed and confuse and round around in circles freaking out too if it happened to me.

Hopefully I will finsih the rest and conclude my review.

Whew. I have finally finished the script. It was an enjoyable read.

the more i read the quicker I got over my first intial reaction to Witch, goblin & Skull. They sort of blended into story more. And besides if this script was to made into a movie it is obvious that a team of artist would work on creature design. So the more I read I just imagined what sort of design would be made for demons. Scary stuff.

I love the idea of the tunnel with the hudreds of children handchuffed to the iron rail or whatever that runs down the length of the tunnel wall. An amazing and nightmarish visual that would be intense of film.

Now that I have read the entire script I must say that the story you have does not warrent a 150 page epic. There is no need for it to be so long. The middle with the buildings being boarded up and everyone trapped inside grinds the story to a halt. Remove that part and I don't think your story will miss a beat. You could just have scene where enter building, see weird stuff on computer than cut to explosion and mayhem. The flow of the story will be much better.

It's funny, I came to this script because I was tired of reading micro scripts that where 90 pages and had no room to fully develope a story. And yet I find with your script that there is a bit of middle filler and it could be trimmed. But the way I see it,  you only need to go over the 120 page limit if you have a complex story with multiple plots and character arcs. In other words a pretty dense story.  

Also I still agree with what I said about the opening scene and planet hell. dump it as it ruins the tension and mystery for the set up and build up in the first act. Plus what are they? demons or aliens? You have a bit of a confused contradiction happening with the supernatural and Sci-fi. For me it doesn't mesh.

But I noticed up above a lot of people comment in their reviews that they liked the planet hell idea. so I am a minority on this and guess that means overruled. In the end it is your story and that is what you want than that is fine. Though I might not agree with it but I am willing to go along with it when reading your script.

all in all a great script, I enjoyed it. It was a pleasure.