Motel Hell by Bruce W. Durbin - Horror - Nine of the most notorious and violent serial killers are scheduled for a simultaneous execution.    As the nine killers stand on the gallows, spectators recount the horrific atrocities and unbelievably gruesome murders committed by each condemned killer.   There is comfort in the belief that not just one, but all of these killers will soon be executed and forever banished into the depths of hell. - doc, format

Before I even try to read this.... Is this a remake of MOTEL HELL?

Quoted from Balt Before I even try to read this.... Is this a remake of MOTEL HELL?

it doesn't sound like it is. wasn't Motel Hell about people who own a motel,that kill people to make beef jerkey from them?

Quoted from theprodigalson it doesn't sound like it is. wasn't Motel Hell about people who own a motel,that kill people to make beef jerkey from them?

Farmer Vincent's smoked meats!

The people buried in the ground like cabbages who are forced to look at the psychedelic "hypno" light, and the ending when he has the giant pig head on are classic.

I have this on a midnight classics double feature dvd with 'Deranged'.  Both good movies.  

I don't think this script is anything like the other Motel Hell, but it does sound interesting and I'll try to give it a look see when I have a chance.

Deranged was so funny... I have the same thing you got, but I also have the old VHS of MOTEL HELL... Anyways, Deranged was supposed to be the ED-GEIN story, but they didn't have the money for the rights so they had to change all the names and stuff around... classic, cheese ball movie.

How does the title fit in with the plot?


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe How does the title fit in with the plot? Phil

Phil,

The entire script takes place at a motel.


Bruce,

I just finished scanning through this, and I liked the story on the whole, nice little twist at the end, but I don't think the synopsis does a very good job of accurately explaining the story.  Has anyone else has had a chance to look at this?  Agree?  Disagree?

Also, by my count, your "Notorious Nine" is more of a "Terrible Ten"

1. Czar
2. Black Horse
3. Mad Hat
4. Morgan
5. Song Lee
6. Private Tom
7. Cowboy Bob
8. Prince Albert
9. Pepe
10. Crow

Like I said before, I liked the story, but these two things REALLY need to be fixed.

Gotta agree with Mike.  The synopsis doesn't give a fair accounting of this story, which details a single, horrific night at the titular motel.  And I found 10 killers as well, in addition to the following comments:

(SPOILERS)

*  You have a decent idea for a story here, but it tends to get repetitive after a while.  People check in, they sign (or refuse to sign) the register (a point that is always mentioned, for some reason), they find their rooms, and then -- they meet one of our gruesome friends.  This works to a point, but loses its shock by the third or fourth time, as we come to realize that the fates of these guests are a forgone conclusion.  Perhaps nine (or ten) killers is a few too many.
*  Song Lee was by far my favorite killer.  A bit of a stereotype (as were several of these), but I was chuckling at his insane dialogue nevertheless.  And the entrance of Sally managed to surprise me, even though five or six killings had preceded her.  She makes the best "entrance" by far.
*  The ending is kind of cool, but most horror fans will see it coming.  I did like the big junkyard, though, which made it a little unique.

For those who might be interested, this story will not remind you of the original "Motel Hell". This is a different story altogether, perhaps a little more akin to "13 Ghosts".  At any rate, it's a heck of alot better than "Jason vs Ash".

Bruce -- Perhaps you could circumvent these inevitable comparisons to "Motel Hell" by calling your story "Hell Motel".  For "Motel Hell", the motel was called "Motel Hello", and the burned-out letter "o" gave the film its name.  You have "Shell Motel", with a burned-out "s", so "Hell Motel" is not only different, but it makes more sense, too.  Not an ideal fix, but a suggestion.

Quoted from bert (SPOILERS) *  Song Lee was by far my favorite killer.  A bit of a stereotype (as were several of these), but I was chuckling at his insane dialogue nevertheless.

It reminded me of that old joke, where the people in the hotel room keep hearing someone saying "I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha", and they open the closet to find a little kid picking their nose.  I have no idea why, it just does.  Stop looking at me like that.

I tried reading it but the dialogue is too stiff and your action scenes should only run 4 lines... here they run 7, 8 and even 10 in some spots. What's going on here, man?

you need to break some of that up.

Lines like... Depends on how sweet the candy is and shit just... I dunno, the lines seem fake. Like no one would ever say them.

You make too much of a point to show us who's bad and who's not. Like the whole... laying down of 200 bucks and then the thrid 100 is laid down and he slaps his hand down on top of vincents... Nah... whatever, bro. It just seems to cliche.

You add too many camera directions too. Don't do this. Your screenplay is already cluttered enough with no spacing of paragraphs and shit... you really need to fix this one.

I still don't know if it was a remake of the original motel hell, either. Vincent was the owners name but the motel name is different and the set up is kinda different. Though the hooker thing rang true.

I didn't get far enough into it to tell, really.

Quoted from Balt I still don't know if it was a remake of the original motel hell, either. Vincent was the owners name but the motel name is different and the set up is kinda different. Though the hooker thing rang true.

Balt,

Trust me.  This is nothing like the 70's 'Motel Hell'


Does the author of this even frequent the board?

If the author doesn't frequent the boards, then people should stop reviewing his work.  Those who don't contribute here drive me crazy.


Phil