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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Youth Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 31st, 2006, 9:59pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Youth by Gary Benjamin Holt Jr.  (Yeaster) - Horror - Nathan Crews, Anna Gabrielle, Hunter Rice, Remedy Locke, and Shawn Lambert are five of the most popular, and beautiful, yet vicious students of New Glover Academy High. Their egos are bloated, and they prance around school as if they're gods. They relentlessly attack and torture fellow student Kenneth Roseburg, who, after reaching his breaking point, decides to take matters into his own hands. 118 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  December 2nd, 2007, 3:17pm
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Braksnen
Posted: August 9th, 2006, 3:56pm Report to Moderator
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I haven't read too much into thwe script, but I think you're spending alittle too much time with Nathan, Anna, Hunter, Remedy, and Shawn. If the story is about Kenneth fighting back, you should spend more time with them making fun of him.


I am an ex-con who has grown over the past several years. I hope it shows.
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Yeaster
Posted: August 10th, 2006, 8:10am Report to Moderator
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I understand what you're saying, but I didn't want Kenny to get picked on TOO much, because I didn't want it to become completely unrealistic and ridiculous.

How much did you read?


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Braksnen
Posted: August 10th, 2006, 1:53pm Report to Moderator
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i got to alittle past the part where... I think Remedy... got home and was cofronted by her mom anbout her grades.

I see perfectly about what your saying, but in order to get the reader to understand why Kenneth chose the path he did is to let him get picked on almost all day. Like the boys from Colombine High.


I am an ex-con who has grown over the past several years. I hope it shows.
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Yeaster
Posted: August 10th, 2006, 3:01pm Report to Moderator
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Don't worry, he gets picked on enough. Read on. :p


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