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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Outbreak Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: May 3rd, 2007, 9:43pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Outbreak by Julian Singleton - Horror - Six high school students take refuge in an abandoned High School in the aftermath of an outbreak of a virus that changes the living into undead man-eating creatures. On a survivor's radio, they hear word of a planned rescue operation. Will they survive long enough to be rescued?  Or will they succumb to the living dead...or worse, each other? - html, format


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ReaperCreeper
Posted: May 3rd, 2007, 11:05pm Report to Moderator
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Sounds kinda like Residemt Evil: Outbreak (VG) to me. It even has the same title. If you're going to rip something off, at least do it with class, man.
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bert
Posted: May 3rd, 2007, 11:12pm Report to Moderator
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Don’t know if you are around, Julian, but here’s a quick tip for ya’.

If you revise nothing else -- at the very least -- you gotta change:


Quoted from Your sixth line of dialogue

               MICHAEL
     Matt! Oh, my legs!
     Quit eating them!



While I am not a zombie aficionado myself, there are plenty of ‘em on these boards, and they will stop reading right there.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Gambit1138
Posted: May 6th, 2007, 1:18am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for all your constructive comments so far!

About that particular line of dialogue...consider it cut  

Never really did care for that line much. Maybe just shorten it to "Matt!" or cut the line altogether.

This is Julian, btw.

Any other thoughts?

P.S.- J Gomez, did you read any of it besides the title or summary? I don't think it sounds like RE: Outbreak at all...
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