Sorry I haven't posted before - I've only just now started to get how this site works. Ok, here we go.

It was my understanding that Slender Man was an internet-based urban legend. I did not intentionally rip anybody off. Believe it or not, I haven't seen Marble Hornets. I came across the creature on several different sites, but only with a few snippets of fan pics and stories - also why I'm pretty sure it's just an internet-based urban legend.

I thought in my logline I put that it was based on the internet phenomenon, I have in all my other loglines for it. If it's not there, I apologize to anyone who didn't realize that the creature itself is not original.

As for the creep factor, I don't know if you noticed while reading, but I tried to make it pretty clear that Slender Man is never to be fully seen - he's always either masked in fog or shadow or some other form of concealment so there's never a clear view. Perhaps I didn't make that clear enough in the writing - or perhaps you just missed it. In any case, more than any other genre, horror is subjective. What scares you may not scare someone else, and vice versa. I've had plenty of other writers tell me it's a creepy script. But to each his own.

Anyways, thanks for looking and responses, even though they weren't very friendly. I'll try to post more often.

Hey, Curtis

The first scene lives up to the genre. Always, good start. I’ve only read up to page twelve because, I usually get a good idea of what type of writer I’m dealing with also you never know whether the writer’s are still active. Glad to see you still are. You’re scenes are structure well, only knock would be in you’re narrative telling rather than showing with the use of words such as “suddenly” or “linking verbs.”

Again, scene structure from what I’ve read is good though that last piece of subtext at the end of the kitchen scene where Christie cheers Joey up, but once she’s alone you SEE the concern in her putting her face in her hands.

She’s active. She learns something and decides to do something about it, and out of that new desire comes. Because of that I’m planning on continuing to read. I’m she continues to do so, one of the pitfalls of horror is having a protagonist that’s too passive, and I hope she gets as much screen time if not more than Joey.

First reel lives up to the genre
Show don’t tell
Good scene construction
Nice piece of subtext at the end of “kitchen” scene
Show don’t tell


BLB

Hey BusyBee,

Thank you again for your feedback. I do like that you're enjoying my work. At least you seem to understand the angles I'm trying to approach.

I just want to note that this particular script has gone through a few different re-writes now and has been optioned.

Quoted from CurtisJames52 Sorry I haven't posted before - I've only just now started to get how this site works. Ok, here we go. It was my understanding that Slender Man was an internet-based urban legend. I did not intentionally rip anybody off. Believe it or not, I haven't seen Marble Hornets. I came across the creature on several different sites, but only with a few snippets of fan pics and stories - also why I'm pretty sure it's just an internet-based urban legend. I thought in my logline I put that it was based on the internet phenomenon, I have in all my other loglines for it. If it's not there, I apologize to anyone who didn't realize that the creature itself is not original. As for the creep factor, I don't know if you noticed while reading, but I tried to make it pretty clear that Slender Man is never to be fully seen - he's always either masked in fog or shadow or some other form of concealment so there's never a clear view. Perhaps I didn't make that clear enough in the writing - or perhaps you just missed it. In any case, more than any other genre, horror is subjective. What scares you may not scare someone else, and vice versa. I've had plenty of other writers tell me it's a creepy script. But to each his own. Anyways, thanks for looking and responses, even though they weren't very friendly. I'll try to post more often.

Slender Man is copyrighted by the creator, but there's so many blogs/vlogs out there that expand the "Slenderverse", there's an unsaid permission to use the character as long as it isn't for profit.

Interesting to see the script. I'd been making notes on a Slender Man project just for the hell of it. I'll be glad to give this one a spin.