Dominant Species by Kevin Burton - Horror - The attempted nuclear destruction of an alien species worldwide had left eighty percent  of Earth’s landmasses under water,and mankind have to survive the aftermath 107 pages - pdf, format

Major problems here.  The fact that it's written in past tense is the least of them.  I'm not a psychic but I see many rewrites in your future.  My advice would be to read some good scripts and learn the craft.  Good luck and good skill.

Edit: Kevin, refer to this thread.  It'll help.  

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1335390569/

What in the... What the...??  Is this...?  WOW!

My favorite part is the title page

Copy Right
              Yes

That's classic.  I gotta use that one.  Other than that, why the hell did you waste page upon page by having one slug on them?  This thing isn't fit to be seen by a family member, let alone a community of people/readers/writers/agents/producers/filmmakers

Back to code.

Maybe try a montage?

To be honest, I don't think Kevin Burton is ever coming back anyways... I don't know who he is, but I doubt he even knows the message board is here with his script posted for discussion.  This guy is oblivious to what's going on right now... Almost as oblivious as he was when he wrote his script.

Well, M.Alexander, I'm sorry you feel that way.  I'm also sorry if Kevin is upset as well, but you know what?

When you see this kind of effort, where are you supposed to start with helpful critique?  How to you sugarcoat the very obvious truth on display here?

You know, or maybe you don't know, but I'm all for helping peeps whenever I can, and I do try very, very often, by going out of my way and way above and beyond in order to help writers write effectively.

The only real route here is to say nothing at all, which many do recommend, but then again, the writer sits there waiting for feedback and gets absolutely nothing, meaning he has no clue if what he's done is good, bad, or indifferent.

I don't believe that's the way to go, and I don't believe it helps one bit.  There many opinions when it comes to a good or not so good script, but there's no opportunity for a debate here, and Kevin needs to be aware of that.

EDIT - Here we go again...the deleting has begun.

Quoted from Dreamscale EDIT - Here we go again...the deleting has begun.

I read your first few sentences, then went back to see who you were talking to.  I went back and forth three times thinking I'd missed something.  Now I get it!  

Quoted from Dreamscale Well, M.Alexander, I'm sorry you feel that way.  I'm also sorry if Kevin is upset as well, but you know what? When you see this kind of effort, where are you supposed to start with helpful critique?  How to you sugarcoat the very obvious truth on display here? You know, or maybe you don't know, but I'm all for helping peeps whenever I can, and I do try very, very often, by going out of my way and way above and beyond in order to help writers write effectively. The only real route here is to say nothing at all, which many do recommend, but then again, the writer sits there waiting for feedback and gets absolutely nothing, meaning he has no clue if what he's done is good, bad, or indifferent. I don't believe that's the way to go, and I don't believe it helps one bit.  There many opinions when it comes to a good or not so good script, but there's no opportunity for a debate here, and Kevin needs to be aware of that. EDIT - Here we go again...the deleting has begun.

I understand what you're saying.  I'm not trying to cause a commotion.  But for all we know this could be the guy's first attempt at writing.  Just seems your words were a little too harsh, IMO.  

I'm a new guy here, so the last thing I wanna do is make waves.   It's water under the bridge.

Quoted from Dreamscale When you see this kind of effort, where are you supposed to start with helpful critique?

You say something like, "Hey, do not put your scenes on separate pages."

Your comment was pure negative with nothing constructive, Jeff -- and it crossed that line the community discussed earlier ad nauseum.

This is pretty obviously this guy's first effort, and these days we try to give these guys something other than a total slam that serves no purpose but to amuse ourselves.

Well, I am sorry.  And I did say in my initial post that I was sorry to say what I felt I had to say.

Sometimes, IMO, at least...oh Hell, forget it.  I'll leave it alone.

Sorry.

Thanks for the feedback. It gives me strength to continue.I'll keep practicing. I haven't been back in a while on this page because I don't want to focus on just one site.There are many and i'm writing a lot. Script writing is something I just wanted to try out. I've looked at other scripts and i'm learning more each day. Some people do not know how to give constructive feedback but that's ok because working as a Psychiatric Technician in the mental health field i've learned that quite a lot of people are on Phych medication and are not responsible for their actions but thanks for the feedback anyway.I'll look for more from you and i'll probably will learn more from your feedback. Right now i'm working on my sixth science fiction novel,but i'll be back on this site again.This is really fun.

Actually my full name is Kevin Doy Burton. You can look me up on Google. I do like this  site. These are the science fiction novels i've written. You can go to Barns and Noble,Amazon.com,Borders,ect. 1. Emanon 2. The Journey Of Emanon 3. The Rip
4. Dominant Species 5. Damned Forever.I'm working on my sixth novel called
6. Out There ,so if i'm not back on this site real soon,it's not because of the negative feedback. It's because i'm working with mental patients and i'm also busy writing. If I didn't say it before, the people who try to put me down are really pushing me forward.

It's tough at the beginning. If you do have a good story to tell, simply read ...read...read and get better at it. I know criticism pushes me harder.

When you get it cleaned up, I'll be more than happy to take a look at it so keep trying!

Quoted from Pale Yellow It's tough at the beginning. If you do have a good story to tell, simply read ...read...read and get better at it. I know criticism pushes me harder. When you get it cleaned up, I'll be more than happy to take a look at it so keep trying!

Thankyou,I'll do just that.

Quoted from Baltis. To be honest, I don't think Kevin Burton is ever coming back anyways... I don't know who he is, but I doubt he even knows the message board is here with his script posted for discussion.  This guy is oblivious to what's going on right now... Almost as oblivious as he was when he wrote his script.

Thanks for the feedback. It gives me strength to continue.I'll keep practicing. I haven't been back in a while on this page because I don't want to focus on just one site.There are many and i'm writing a lot. Script writing is something I just wanted to try out. I've looked at other scripts and i'm learning more each day. Some people do not know how to give constructive feedback but that's ok because working as a Psychiatric Technician in the mental health field i've learned that quite a lot of people are on Phych medication and are not responsible for their actions but thanks for the feedback anyway.I'll look for more from you and i'll probably will learn more from your feedback. Right now i'm working on my sixth science fiction novel,but i'll be back on this site again.This is really fun.

Actually my full name is Kevin Doy Burton. You can look me up on Google. I do like this  site. These are the science fiction novels i've written. You can go to Barns and Noble,Amazon.com,Borders,ect. 1. Emanon 2. The Journey Of Emanon 3. The Rip
4. Dominant Species 5. Damned Forever.I'm working on my sixth novel called
6. Out There ,so if i'm not back on this site real soon,it's not because of the negative feedback. It's because i'm working with mental patients and i'm also busy writing. If I didn't say it before, the people who try to put me down are really pushing me forward.

Moving from prose to screenwriting would be tough.  The two can be so far apart.  

I don't know if you have read any books on screenwriting, but I always suggest Dave Trottiers "Screenwriting Bible" (the title sounds pretentious, but it really is), "Save the Cat," and Hal Ackerman's "Write Screenplays That Sell."  All are great references that will help you get better.

Good luck with your efforts.