The Menacing by T.G. Sha - Horror - A Native American couple move to a new town, and soon relive in horror when a malefic entity disturbs their stay. 92 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Your premise sounds intriguing enough, but to be honest I couldn’t even make it past the first page and if I’m being honest, I don’t think many others will either. Your action lines are overly descriptive, which fills up more space on your page than it really should. For starters right off the bat, lose the “we see”, it’s redundant. Also just a heads up, you don’t need to put your copyright on every page, just the title page. I’m open to reading this because like I said it sounds pretty intriguing enough, but I definitely think it could use a good polishing or two. Maybe go back and see what you can change, or take out, then share that new draft. Good luck to you