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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Eat You Alive Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 13th, 2022, 1:26pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Eat You Alive by Chris Wood - Horror - A man discovers his wife is a monster... in more ways than one. 97 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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happylittleleaf
Posted: March 28th, 2022, 4:29pm Report to Moderator
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I genuinely enjoyed the idea here - a heavily codependent husband is so mistreated by his cheating wife that when she gets replaced by a blood-drinking human-eating ancient beast that is surprisingly nice to him, he decides to stick with her! It was an amusing angle and I was glad it wasn't a zombie story.

In the beginning, the characters with no names? Dork. Blonde. Nerd. It kind of exemplified the way I felt about characters with names (the monster-hunting group especially) later in the story - they were more characterizations than full-bodied characters.

Some cliche dialog really pulled me out of it - all of the anti-woman hating things said by the one monster hunter were cliche woman-hating jokes. No issues with the guy constantly railing on women, but it was boring because it was cliche - even the group's responses to him felt boring.

Cricket. He's this guy's only friend. But I don't know much about him, feels like he's just there to give the character the lake house and for some exposition.

I see this as a dark comedy more than straight horror - mostly because the MC is so pathetic. I had a hard time believing he suddenly had karate skills at the end - that came off as funny, as did the way I visualized his blood-covered "wife" trying to explain with gore falling out of her mouth.

Hope this feedback helps!
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