Quite the story there.  It made me mad, sad, and makes me want to go hunting.

Well, I hated it.  Sorry, but, I found it revolting.

It was stereotyping.  It was brutal.  And it was fake Muslim propaganda.  

The rape scene was hard.  The necro scene was worse.  

I did kinda enjoy the fantasy that he created with his first-time love.  

I also enjoyed the ending.

But, if I wanted to watch 120 days of Sodom, I would, and I don't.  Nor do I want to watch a Serbian story...

Like I said, sorry
Dan

Writer,

Very good story. I didn't know whether to sympathize with Abdul or not, but I get what you were going for, I think. Definitely a tale that makes you think. Writing clean and concise. As far as the subject matter goes - if you don't know what you're talking about, you do a good job of making us believe. Very good work here.

Steve

Quoted from Heretic A disgusting piece of heavy-breathing Muslim-panic agitprop, all the less credible for its pretense towards nihilism. This is truly repulsive work, which takes a certain kind of skill. But Rushdie it ain't.

I couldn't have said this better, so I'm using it. There is nothing redeeming about it. It's a gut-punch of a story, and as much as I love the writing, I hate everything about it. But I respect it. I respect the choice to do it and the skill required to pull it off.

Writer, you have talent. Not just with words, but with style, tone, visuals, and a cinematic view. On merit alone, I would count this as the very best I've read. My struggle will be with whether or not I can condone the story. Right now I want it to be buried in cement and dropped to the bottom of the ocean.

Hell of a job. I want to read more from you. Just not this.

I need to say something.

The ending angers me. Deeply. It's the treatment of the only woman in the script. As disturbing as the rest was, it's Jade being there after he blows himself up that is too much. It means it wasn't just in his messed up head, Jade is there as his reward in the end. He raped her, he violated her corpse, treated her with extreme disrespect even in death, but because he blew the other two up for her it's all okay.

No, it's not. Nothing about that is okay. It tries to justify what happened to her and that's not okay.

Rene,
Well said.  This was truly repulsive.  If anything, she should drag him to hell.

I think part of the problem is that deep down, we know if we do wrong.  Yes, some can overcome this, while others suffer from some sort of mental fuck up, but, to be rewarded for this sets a terrible example.

And as much as writers hate to admit, people do emulate what they see because some are just that stupid.  Anyone recall the movie that had a person lie down in the street after dark to prove how brave they are?  People did that in real life and died.

Or why they can't kill Kenny anymore on South Park because too many kids and adults named Kenny were harming themselves??

Some are that dumb or twisted.

Dan

Quoted from ReneC but because he blew the other two up for her it's all okay.

Did he blow the other two up? I thought he was going to blow up civilians.

Actually, the story doesn't ring true to me. I don't think that's how terrorists work. THey are not stupid, they pretend to be moralists and treat each other with respect and that's how they have and maintain a large pool of followers.
I still enjoyed it and probably for all the wrong reasons. I like to read and watch this type of stories. Not the Serbian flick or 120 Days of Sodom and stuff like that. But The Quills was quite nice.

The writing style is excellent! However, the story is a little disjointed. I have seen many documentaries of refugees coming from Muslim countries, their English is sub basic at best. If you want to make this porno terrorism story more credible you have to rewrite Abdul's dialogue. Also, I have been in London, there is no way that a 15-year-old boy from another country can drive in London with cameras and policemen all over.
Note:
ABDUL (VO)
Love is the answer to everything. Hatred is spread by the uneducated.
The trouble is, some will just never learn. (Very advanced for a young teenager from a foreign country).
My best,
Fausto

There is enough of this in the world already, why write more.

I read this for critique sake, but I wish I hadn't.

What a downer. I need to get the hell off this computer now and shoot myself or something.

Sandra

Sandra,
you fell for the allure of screenwriting...actually, critiquing scripts....lol
Have fun, life is so complicated.
All my best,
Fausto

Well done! A mosque that condones rape and murder should be blown up by a suicide bomber. Of course in real life anyone who attempted to film something like this would end up being blown up themselves.

Wow. Into all the propaganda, the writer weaves one of the most messed up love stories I've ever seen. I don't think I'd change a word. It disturbs, and is disturbing. Which means the writer did his / her job. Bravo.

I thought I had posted comments on this - was reviewing the thread and did not see them - must have forgot to hit the post button before leaving.

Summarizing.

The writing style/format, etc. were fine.

I do not believe it comes close to meeting the parameters of the challenge. Driving around London, etc and no people??? If we were to buy that, then any really any setting would be fine - just don't show the people.  

Way too disturbing for my taste.

Quoted from Fausto Sandra, you fell for the allure of screenwriting...actually, critiquing scripts....lol Have fun, life is so complicated. All my best, Fausto

Yes, you and we... how do we fall...

I did vote this as a "good" script because it was and I wasn't going to lie.

Very tough though.

The allure has had me. You're right.

Sandra

Some people seem to absolutely hate this script. I can see why, but IMHO, it was well written and it kept me turning the pages. I felt something while reading. The script engaged me. Not many scripts do this, so I think the writer did a great job. Hard to make people feel strongly about a script, but this writer did.

I have no idea who wrote this, but I think the writer has talent.