Hello,

a good title and okay logline.

The atmosphere was good throughout and completely dragged me into this world. When you reach a point of acceleration, plot-wise, then, imo, you should also accelerate the writing and be more direct. Not everything needs a double description, fourth wall commentary of you. I'm sure I would have liked it even more if you would let the overly-prosy way go at some point. It wasn't annoying before but as said at some point it should be characters doing things only, quick and live and active, rather than having everything wrapped in words, a slow, repetitive, over-detailed process of getting forward. But writer, no matter what, I was there and it was a good trip I wouldn't want to have missed at all. imo just find the balance when pictures and words need to be equally quick. Well done. Good stuff

Writer,

Seems to me the urge to speak was too great here. Now, I've never been to war, but I'd be willing to bet there'd be some talking going on at some point. That said, it renders this a bit unbelievable. That is if you can suspend your disbelief regarding the beasts that lie in wake for Weasel. Pretty decent writing from what I can tell, but overall not for me.

Steve

The no dialogue parameter seemed unbelievable here at times. Especially - 'She is too fear stricken to scream and he is under too much effort to call for help.'

The suspense was clearly there. But the theme?  I can't see how the story related to it in any real way.

I think you have something pretty special here. Potential for a feature for sure. Dog Soldier's, in Vietnam, but with rats. I'd pay to watch it.

If you do ever consider expanding this, 'Operation Popeye' is worth looking into. Could be a great catalyst for a story like this.  

Great script, just not a great fit for the challenge in my opinion.

Vietnam? Immediately listens to "All Along the Watchtower" on YouTube.

Next up, "Get Together."

Now we get our TUNNEL RAT title drop.

Quoted Text Weasel does not shoot. He gets closer to see that the soldier has been disemboweled. The smell causes him to snort and curl his nose.

"Turn, Turn, Turn."

So the title has a double meaning?

Page 4 and The Byrds are fading out. Time for "Eve of Destruction."

Not just "Be quiet," but "Be FUCKING quiet." She means business.

I'm running out of cliché 60s tunes. Next up, "A Whiter Shade of Pale."

Are these literal beasts or beastly men?

Page six. I guess "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is next.

Multi-word adjectives before a noun are hyphenated.

This was a pretty good script. I didn't understand every single thing, but you clearly have talent. You're clearly a pro. A top contender.

Really enjoyed this script. I am writing on assignment a script set in Vietnam...so I've been researching and when I saw this one and read it... I really liked it. GREAT job.