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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    July 2018 One Week Challenge  ›  The July 2018 Scripts of the One Week Challenge
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  Author    The July 2018 Scripts of the One Week Challenge  (currently 6624 views)
Reef Dreamer
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 9:30am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Part time writer

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i think my script caught crabs...

actually, that sounds fun in part

Thanks Don and Pia for hosting this. Haven't been around in a long time, but the OWC rollercoaster doesn't fail to live up to its reputation.

my fav was a beautiful day - simple, clear, genuine decent - didn't see it coming - twist. I don't rate scripts on their ability to be filmed, but when combined it makes you hope it does.

cheers all


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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SAC
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 9:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Upstate NY
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I believe Riot Time Knock Off will sweep the challenge!


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Cameron
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 9:44am Report to Moderator
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Wow, coming into the final straight we have 3 apparent runners then!! Riot Time Knock Off, Weather Worn and A Beautiful Day heading to the line. It's been a good one this OWC, too close to call...votes are gonna be interesting!!
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SAC
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 9:49am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
Upstate NY
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Quoted from Cameron
Wow, coming into the final straight we have 3 apparent runners then!! Riot Time Knock Off, Weather Worn and A Beautiful Day heading to the line. It's been a good one this OWC, too close to call...votes are gonna be interesting!!


Actually, I don’t think RTKO will sweep anything. I was trying to inconspicuously out myself. I mean, now that all the fun is almost done.


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Cameron
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 9:54am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SAC


Actually, I don’t think RTKO will sweep anything. I was trying to inconspicuously out myself. I mean, now that all the fun is almost done.


Nonsense, Steve. I'm too excited to care for such a feeble opinion of one's work...it's coming up on the inside on the finishing straight and all noses are level (until the results come out).

We need to build some tension here
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 10:22am Report to Moderator
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Shockingly, Die, Fluffy Die - Aquapussy is easily 1 of the best scripts here.

Does it have a chance to win?  Probably not, but it should have.
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eldave1
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
You're spot on, Cam!

Here comes Damascus Memories on the inside, followed by Die Fluffy Die...  

...

Goodies I liked:

Weather Worn was very good. Needs a new title to do it justice however.
We're All Dust In The End
MQ-LC4 (ooh, my initials at the end)
Raincheck ( with a ramp-it-up a bit rewrite)

I've got Dena pegged for the mozzie tale.
A UK writer deffo for Raincheck.



.....And it'e Rubber Band down the stretch, Staircase making a move on the rail, Tooth Paste squeezes in to third....




My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SteveUK
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 10:27am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Pia and Don for this challenge, it's the first time I've written a short for over a year and I really enjoyed getting going again, especially attempting to write without dialogue for the first time!

I thought there were qute a few strong entries, but my two favourites were MCQ-LC4 and Weather Worn.
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Cameron
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 10:55am Report to Moderator
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Tsk, where's my bloody manners. Ta Don and Pia again for a cracking wee challenge, was really fun and a right good standard of reads. You guys rock.

Are the results out later today? Just to know whether to get excited or not...
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eldave1
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 11:29am Report to Moderator
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Much thanks to Pia and Don for running the challenge and a very unique one at that.  This was very well run and moderated.

I have two minor thoughts  for future challenges ( and there easy for me to make since I don't have to do any of the work on it)

Rules/Parameter Clarifications

In all of the OWCs we start with a thread that reflects the theme/rules of a particular challenge. That thread grows with all sorts of comments to be a 14 or 15 page thread with more than 200 comments. Generally, buried among those will be 3 or 4 questions related to the challenge rules/parameters and an answer to the particular question. In this one by way of example there were clarifications related to hemisphere, budget, dialogue and the degree to which weather should be a part of the story - all answered completely.

The problem is that the questions and answers are buried in this enormous thread.  I saw them all because I am a retired fok with time on his hands. Not sure everyone has that same luxury and could easily miss rule clarifications.

Long winded way of saying that it may be advantageous to have one separate thread on the challenge rules/questions and answers and one separate thread for general discussion.

Voting restricted to participants

Would like to see this expanded to non-participants.  There have been several OWCs where I couldn't participate. Since I could not vote I refrained from making comments even though had several entries.  Didn't feel it quite right to state my opinion on a script if I wasn't going to vote. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, I think it would be nice to expand voting to non-participants. Peeps could email the Administrator and say I'm not participating but am going to read and would like a ballot.

Just food for thought.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Zack
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 11:54am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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Really fun challenge. Thanks Pia and Don. I wish I were able to read more than half the entries. As for my top four... A Beautiful Day, Weather Worn, "Die, Fluffy Die,... Aquapussy", and The Cave are my favorites this time around.

Zack

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Zack  -  August 12th, 2018, 12:58pm
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eldave1
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 12:01pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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On the scripts.

Overall I thought folks did a real nice job here - especially given the challenge of no dialogue. This was a great restriction IMO because it did force me to learn a new skill. Loved that aspect of it.

Excluding mine (which of course I loved , my top scripts, in no particular order, were:

Die Fluffy Die....

Didn't like the title (should have been "Save The Cat"), and thought the story was okay. What I did love was the crisp, clean writing and the challenge that this writer took in melding real world/with obvious animation. This should have been confusing as hell yet it was clear as day. I thought the craftsmanship was top notch.

Wish You Were Here

Loved the first three quarters of the script and all of it was expertly written. The ending was a huge problem for me.  Great writing otherwise.

A Beautiful Day

Crisp and clean and the writer took a real risk with style. IMO, a little more time spent on the situation going on in the other car would complete this one. Solid job.

Rain Check

Least appreciated story, IMO.  I loved the slow, nuanced roll-out of the heroes plight and I thought the simple theme of trying to stay sober through tough times was poignant. Others did not like it as much as me - I think that it's mostly rooted in what peeps personally enjoy...Which leads me to:

MQ - LC4

Which was the inverse for me. The story is not by cup of tea - just personal preference, but the writing was super solid. Much like Die Fluffy, the writer meet a difficult challenge in letting us clearly see something very complex.

The Cave

Cool story and solid writing.  IMHO opinion needed to start at a lower number as the beats repeated themselves. But this is a very good writer here.

Dust In The End

It needs tidying up for sure - several typos and format errors. Story-wise - poignant, heart felt. I had empathy for the heroes here and felt their flight.

And now for the most inane discussion point - AIR CONDITIONING!

Of all the things that I didn't think would be mentioned the lack of AC has to be at the top of the list:

1. No, not all people have AC.
2. Many of those that do simply can't afford to run it (I live in California, my summer electrical bill routinely exceeds $400 - a lot of folks simply can't afford that and their ACs stand idle).
3. The theme was heat and for most folks that meant unusual heat so it would not be surprising that structures built years ago would not be equipped the handle that heat. Sure, if you live in Arizona where the average temp is Hades, there is going to be a ton of ACs. If you live in Lake Tahoe - not so much.













My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts

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eldave1  -  August 12th, 2018, 12:35pm
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 12:36pm Report to Moderator
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OK, for me, INCLUDING my own amazing entry, there were 9 scripts that I gave 3 or more stars to, and of those 9, 4 received 4 stars.

The best of the best were...in no particular order...

Die, Fluffy, Die - Aquapussy - Writing needs some tidying up but story is well conceived and executed.  No dialogue aspect probably the very best, and it just has a feel god vibe to it.

Damask Memories - Writing needs work for sure, and I'm far from sold on the womb scenes, but there is real power in the story and portrayal of our Protag.  Probably too big for this OWC, and the no dialogue aspect seemed a little forced at times, but nonetheless, a strong contender.

Wish You Were Here - Very clean, easy to read, and visualize.  The ending doesn't seem to work for most, but for me, it actually hit rather hard.  I like the use of the song, and the no dialogue aspect was very smooth.

We Are All Dust In The Wind - Writing is by far the weakest of this bunch and easily the "weakest" aspect of this script, but the visuals are seriously powerful, painful, and real.  No punches being pulled here, and I always appreciate that. I like the use of the song, and even using the lyrics in the script.  The no dialogue aspect was fine until maybe the very end, but all in all, a haunting tale of despair.

And, the rest of the bunch in no particular order...

Rain Check

The Cave

MQ-LC4

Weather Worn

Tunnel Rat
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eldave1
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 12:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
OK, for me, INCLUDING my own amazing entry, there were 9 scripts that I gave 3 or more stars to, and of those 9, 4 received 4 stars.

The best of the best were...in no particular order...

Die, Fluffy, Die - Aquapussy - Writing needs some tidying up but story is well conceived and executed.  No dialogue aspect probably the very best, and it just has a feel god vibe to it.

Damask Memories - Writing needs work for sure, and I'm far from sold on the womb scenes, but there is real power in the story and portrayal of our Protag.  Probably too big for this OWC, and the no dialogue aspect seemed a little forced at times, but nonetheless, a strong contender.

Wish You Were Here - Very clean, easy to read, and visualize.  The ending doesn't seem to work for most, but for me, it actually hit rather hard.  I like the use of the song, and the no dialogue aspect was very smooth.

We Are All Dust In The Wind - Writing is by far the weakest of this bunch and easily the "weakest" aspect of this script, but the visuals are seriously powerful, painful, and real.  No punches being pulled here, and I always appreciate that. I like the use of the song, and even using the lyrics in the script.  The no dialogue aspect was fine until maybe the very end, but all in all, a haunting tale of despair.

And, the rest of the bunch in no particular order...

Rain Check

The Cave

MQ-LC4

Weather Worn

Tunnel Rat


Good list - but.....


Quoted Text
I agree A Beautiful Day will be at or near the top, but I don't see Weather Worn even being top 6.


You don't include A Beautiful Day in your top eight???




My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SAC
Posted: August 12th, 2018, 12:50pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
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Top 3

1. Rain Check
2. MQ-LC4
3. Damask Memories


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