Hey all,

Got an email today that this short had been completed and put up online, so I thought I'd share it here.  The Cupidity script is available in the shorts section, and serves as a pretty good example of how a film can go through changes via development and collaboration with a director.

Script can be found here

Anyway, I'm happy with the finished product, and I hope you are as well.

Pretty good little short, congrats on getting this produced. I chuckled in a few places, which is impressive for a short. The production value was oretty solid as well- good technical construction, lighting and sound. The varied angles also made it feel pretty professional. Overall, an enjoyable little short film.

Oh, and congrats on the beard growth hehe. You look some-what Jewish... Want a role in my Jewish gang film?

Hey Mike,

Congrats with this. Solid work, alright acting.

Cool beard btw.

Cool video, I like it.

Congrats.

Congrats on it being produced.

I can only guess that the director was inexperienced as the camera was all over the place during the Barry-Renee exchange (presuming they kept their names -- sorry, I don't have speakers on this particular computer). I'll have to watch it later when I have speakers, but no sound lets me see how visual the film is. I also enjoyed the "which step is Barry standing on" game. Is he level with her? Is he on the first step? Who knows? It's a mystery.

Barry's overacting reminded me a bit of Charlie Chaplin from the 30's, especially the exchange at the end with the second girl. I felt like I was watching City Lights again.

So I found it amusing that without sound, it reminded me of a silent movie.

It was a cute video, though I thought it should've ended around the 6:30 mark (I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it).  After this, it just dragged.


Phil

Thanks for checking it out everyone.  I'm not one to look at this things an overly technical manner, so excuse my ignorance in that regard, but I'm definitely happy with how it turned out, and you guys have brought up some interesting points.

My main concern here was trying to address things that were mentioned regarding the previous version of the script, namely the mistaken identity.  The glasses were a nice touch, but one step further I suggested that the two female roles be played by the same actress, and lo and behold, it worked out.

Toby,

Funny inside joke - "Sheldon, that nice Jewish man".  My name gets mistaken quite often.  I suppose I could play a Catholic Jew though, if you were so inclined to fly me out to your neck of the woods and douse me with women on a nightly basis.

Phil,

I see what you mean, but I can also see his reason for going on a bit more.  The script did actually end at the point you're talking about, but I thought the little extra was a nice touch.

Pia,

I like this version better myself.  It's got a little more pop to it I think.

Thanks again, all.

Good stuff with getting this produced! Cool short. The voiceover at the start was my favourite bit. Also, I think it could have ended when they started walking across the street.

Well done.

This was pretty good, I thought the actor did a pretty decent job too.

I did actually prefer the script - The alternative ending that is but I guess for this film you probably made the right choice. Although I do have to agree that I think it went on too long, as soon as they hooked up it probably could have finished. I don't really see the point of that extra time watching them get loved up.

Good stuff.

I had to take another look at the script after watching this. The second half was obviously not part of it but I wasn't sure if the glasses were or not. Apparently not. It's amazing how a simple plot device can completely change context. Anyway, I suppose it was smart on the director's part to change things a little. Barry meeting up with his dream girl was certainly a little more eventful but personally, I think it sacrificed the cleverness and uniqueness of what you originally wrote. In the end, I think they can both stand on their own.

As far as the actual film itself, I thought it was decent. The first scene had it's share of filmmaking no-no's and student film cliches (namely making up a production company that doesn't exist) but these were minor and to be expected to a certain extent. The hammy acting was fun and the lounge music juxtaposed with the cityscapes and MOS moments had a classy style about it. All in all, not bad.

Quoted from James McClung namely making up a production company that doesn't exist

Hey James,

Thanks for looking, but I don't think that's the case here.  The director, (and guy who crosses the street at the bus stop) Daryl, is a photographer by trade, and I believe that's the name of his company.

The film is basically the result of our collaboration, with a few additional things tacked on.

I remember reading this. It's great that it was produced. As I recall, the V.O wasn't in the script I read, was it?

--Julio

No, the V.O. stuff was written in later.

Quoted from Shelton Hey James, Thanks for looking, but I don't think that's the case here.  The director, (and guy who crosses the street at the bus stop) Daryl, is a photographer by trade, and I believe that's the name of his company. The film is basically the result of our collaboration, with a few additional things tacked on.

Gotcha. I guess I just assumed this was a student film. Plus a lot of student filmmakers make their own intros with their "production company" names and some of the time, they look, at least, close to the real thing.

Hey Mike,

Nice little story you have there, congratulations on it being produced

I have a few points of critique on the way the director filmed it. The main actor's performance is pretty good (over the top, but I guess that's what you were going for), but the camerawork seemed quite distant to me. It never seemed to venture past a medium shot. Some close-ups, especially during the dialogue, would have made it a more interesting watch for me. The sound was executed well, but sometimes the background noise was too prominent, probably due to the boom being too far away. Moving the camera and boom closer or using lavs would have fixed this I guess.

Besides these little points of critique, I must say I enjoyed it, so again grats

Well done on getting the script made but i don't really like the short film it sucks more than my dirty Christmas socks. The camera placement is wrong and we don't get a chance to have a Close up of the character which would have introduced it to us. The guy who did it should study first the basic rules then take a camera and shot, for God's sake he broke the 180 degree rule which the most simple rule to keep in mind.
Hope you don't get this personal Shelton, but your script didn't save the short.
Best.

Thanks for watching guys.  There's a lot of technical comments in there that aren't really relevant to me, but I'll see if the director is looking in on the board since I know he's aware of the link on the home page.

Quoted from NiK for God's sake he broke the 180 degree rule which the most simple rule to keep in mind.

That's the one that got me the most while watching it. I broke that rule once accidentally during my shoot and I'm still considering flipping one of the shots so it looks right. I'm still upset at myself over that.

He should also look into the rule of thirds which would have also improved this considerably.

Yeah, we know the comments don't apply to the script, which was good. I thought the final collaborative effort was good on the part of the story. Hence, your part was great. I enjoyed it. I hope the director and cinematographer got something out of it too.

Hey Mike, just read the script and I'll check out the film when I get home from work.

I like the script but have to say I prefer the alternative ending. Just seemed a bit clearer and was funnier. I like the first ending too but I think it needed maybe a longer build-up to make that work.

Looking forward to seeing the film (damn, firewalls!)

Well, watched the film and thought it was pretty good. It ran a little long I think, I didn't see the point in the length of the happy scene at the end.

The background noise was the main problem I think, but I take it this guy is pretty new?

Anyway, congrats on getting it made.

Hey Ste,

Thanks for watching.  Sound is always a tough thing to nail in films, and I was actually pretty pleased with it here, especially when you consider that it's all set outdoors.  That can get just nasty at times.

I do believe he's new to filmmaking, and overall I thought the end result came out quite well.

Thanks again.

Hey Mike,

Congrats on getting it produced.
I'm glad it had a nice and happy ending...

I also liked that they chose Dean Martin, and Louis Vuitton.

Cindy

  

Mike,

Thanks so much for this. You are hitting the sentimental nerve with me here and I love it.

For me, I know that a man will go out of his way to "do the right thing" in attracting his girl and if it means Skittles, then by God, get out those candies and do the locomotion!!!

I'm not going to comment on the camera work because I'm a writer and that is all. I don't want to pretend to be anything else.

From my perspective, I really did enjoy watching it. It was entertaining and you deserve a big congratulations.

Thanks again for this,

Sandra

Wow! The lounge music and retro city scape suits your style man. That screams Sheltonism.  And I notice that main character in the sweater and glassses looks like you. Did you or the director base the character on you?

Sorry, but not impressed with the short. Wonder why the camera couldn't get closer to the actors?

And dude I can't believe you went and grew a beard. Now I can't toss "Where's Wally" insults at you anymore cause the Hidden One don't have a beard.  

Hey Guys,

Thanks for watching.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Tonka,

In the original script, Barry was just an awkward, uncomfortable guy, and the mix up was literally just a case of mistaken identity.  Some people had issues with that, so I added in the part with the glasses and then them breaking so it would be a little more believable.  The actress playing both parts helped as well.  Ultimately though, it's all just a coincidence with the music and what not.

The beard, well, I don't know how long it will be around, so don't lose those Waldo comments just yet.

I'm looking to get back into writing these types of scripts again, at least in feature form, with one in progress in between other obligations.  I think it represents me best as a writer, and I enjoy them quite a bit when it's all said and done.